Sarah, I'm sorry you are struggling emotionally in all of this. I'm wondering if it would help if you got some outside help to talk through your situation with. I'm wondering if you're suffering from a bit of PTSD...
You know most of us had time to wrap our head around our surgery as our hip deteriorated, our flexabilty and mobility declined...then came the diagnosis and subsequent surgery. Although many of us struggled emotionally with the decline, the diagnosis and the prospect of losing our natural hip, we had time to process it. Your situation was thrust at you. First the fall on the wet grocery store floor, no arthritis involved. Next the failed hip pinning. Then the 4.5 hour THR surgery with the complication of waking and vomiting during surgery and subsequently bruising your vocal chords leaving you unable to speak for a week. All traumatizing! Add to that the sentence, because I'm sure that's what it felt like, of twelve weeks at 30% weight bearing on a walker. In addition, living in fear from your surgeon's comment that IF you fall, they can't fix you! My heart goes out to you. It's heartbreaking.
I understand your worries that things will never be right again, but please don't lose sight of all the good news you heard at your appointment on Tuesday. Try to focus on that. You've been through a lot over the past 13 months since you fell, but it's only been six months since your surgery, you're really still in the early months of recovery considering how long you'll live with your implant. Your OS reassured you there is nothing wrong with your knee aside from trapped fluid causing swelling and that may be what you need to concentrate on next through dedicated icing, elevation and possibly some of the type of massage CricketHip is involved in. I mentioned my knee has never been the same since my THR, is still tight which I'd imagine is inflammation, but unlike you, mine isn't painful, nor does it stop me from anything. To me, it's a small price to pay in comparison to life before THR. With that said, I do realize your knee issue is the result of a surgery from an accident. Not through any fault of yours, but I don't know that I can view my situation as any fault of mine either. My lot in life, I guess.
I really feel it's way too early to lose hope and hate to see you so sad. Maybe rather than look at progress from week to week, you need to try to keep moving forward, only looking back to re-evaluate every 2-3 weeks right now, allowing yourself a breather in between. You are making progress and you are moving forward, it is just taking longer than you'd like and I'm sure the thought that a fall started this whole nightmare is a tough pill to swallow. Since you can't undo this, all you can do is figure out how to live with it and all the while your body will continue to do the repair necessary to get you back to where you were. Patience, dear Sarah, patience.
Prayers to that end.
Sending a hug and a reminder we're always here for you.
@Fit4Family
United States
to all my hipster pals. Thank you for taking the time to lift a girls spirits. You all are the best!!
