THR Doing it Alone

[HappyHippy]

Notadancer,

I am so sorry to hear you are going through what you are. Other's have said we can tell the good people from the losers by what they do when things aren't going perfect.

I too went through abandonment issues with a problematic Anterior. It really hurts not to get the help you need, but if you rotate your friends, and ask each to do a little for you, you won't be using them. Often friends want to help, but don't know how. And if you're like me, when they ask, you say "I'm ok, I can handle it." But this is a time to be a little selfish. It's also fine to use take out meals or ask a friend to pick up groceries.

Since you're surgery was the 7th, how are you doing physically? Are you walking with a walker or cane? How are the exercises going? It's really important to focus on you and your recovery - this is your journey, and depression is normal after surgery; having a major loss on top makes it harder to focus on taking care of yourself.

When I was really sad, I'd make a list of what I had accomplished, and what I wanted to. This helped keep me focused. And indulge yourself in reading all the "Loser men and Women who Love them" books if you need to affirm yourself. Or you can try distracting yourself with videos and books. Get cozy with your kiddos and bask in their unconditional love. Physical pain can be managed with medication, but as others have said, emotional pain is best managed with love. Keep those close who do love you, and this forum is a great tool for getting advice and emotional support in your journey towards a better life than the one you had with Hip OA.

Big hugs,

T.H.

 

[Nannyannie]

My heart goes out to you - I realise how lucky I am with my husband of 43yrs (refers to himself as Domestic God) caring for me! Others are correct in thinking that your kids will love to help you, let them be proud of what they can do! Feel the love and support coming at you already from around the world.

 

[puddle fish]

Sorry about the rough time, and so easy to feel down. I tried to focus on one positive thing each day regardles of how small. As for physio in the UK its the standard not to have any, I managed to get PT as I had both hips done. Maybe some simple charts and reward stars will help your kids remember you need some extra help with chores. Hugs and best wishes to you. The bigest thing I got from this board is that people do tend to do even more amazing things after their replacements then many non hippies do.

 

[Sooty]

Notadancer, no wonder you're emotional at the moment with all that's going on, but it is also apparantly part of the whole recovery process (so I've discovered on this forum).
I'm nearly 6 weeks post op, non-weightbearing which is frustrating. Between week 3 and 5 I had the blues in a big way, would cry at the drop of a hat. Everything started going better about a week ago - less pain, more energy, more positive. Then today tired and pain, and the tears came again in a big way. Pure frustration, but the crying is so heavy-duty and sudden, weird.
I think it's important to allow yourself be sad, when it comes. It will pass.

 

[Vida]

I get what you mean about the hot tub. First thing I wanted to know at my 6-week post-surgical checkup was when could I dunk myself in warm water again. (Answer, any time I wanted.) I am lucky to have a hot tub in my back yard, which my husband covered last year because we were always sitting out there in the cold western Canada rain. The ability to lounge in hot water has been a big help in my recovery. My only other option is our old iron claw foot bathtub, which is a lovely antique but impossible for anyone to use unless they are incredibly bendy. Showers just don't cut it although the first one after surgery was a little bit of heaven.

 

[dtmbf]

I think crying is part of recovery from a THR. I am so not a crier but I could burst into tears at the drop of a hat & did frequently. Feelings of hopelessness & helpless, alternated with will I ever fell normal again or even better "what was I thinking?" I did not have the recovery I expected & that was really hard. I am very lucky to have the husband I have, but all he could do was hold me during a crying jag. I feel for you & wish I could make it better.

 

[NotDancingRightNow]

Gosh you are all just amazing!
I am reading and re-reading your responses and taking notes! All the feedback and support is so appreciated.
I just graduated to a cane a couple days but I still use the walker outside
As for pain control; I could not handle the percocet's so put myself back on my pre-surgery Tramacet. The pain is tolerable most of the time because I have been overly cautious. Because I dislocated already; I am terrified of it happening again so I take it really slow and calculate every step. Perhaps I am a bit too cautious...I almost dislocated getting out of the car when I first came home from the hospital too... My groin injury hurts alot but I went for a massage which helped alot. I am making good use out of the heat packs too. I can't wait to be off the pain meds though; I think they are a big culprit of my moods.

 

[Vida]

Are you putting a glad bag on your car seat? It enables you to swivel in and out much more easily. I put it on top of a chair pad because it built up the car seat, keeping me within the 90 degree rule. My car is a bit low. At any rate, I understand your fear of dislocation, sounds like you are right to be cautious after what you went through. Did your surgeon indicate there were any issues you need to watch for after he made the correction? If not, presumably your hip is 'solid' in the normal THR sense. Are you having PT yet? I am having my fifth of 6 sessions this week but I understand there is also a follow-up hip 'group' series. Don't know if Ontario has the same thing. You will be seeing your surgeon soon -- make a list of all your burning questions!

 

[Sooty]

I'm sure the meds make one more weepy than usual!
It's good to be cautious, the best thing is to listen to your body (I think). I was so paranoid about dislocating, especially after my 'complications' (dysplasia, prosthesis didn't fit properly, screwed in). But I've felt everything stabilise more the past weeks, and have felt more free in my movements. You feel what your joint can and can't handle, I think? Maybe just wishfull thinking?

 

[sissy46]

Hi Dancer (I won't call you "notadancer" because you are still a dancer, just not right at this moment.) I'm so glad sugarplum posted because only another dancer can really reassure you about that. Isn't she something?
Sending good thoughts your way from the Sunshine State and sunshine state of mind.

 

[NotDancingRightNow]

wow sooty, sounds like you have been through quite an ordeal as well but glad things are stabilizing
thank you sissy46; I agree that sugarplum is quite amazing and inspiring!

 

[HappyHippy]

Notadancer,

I just wanted to let you know that since you're on Tramacet, to withdraw slowly. Tramacet, which has Tramadol in it can have a bad withdrawal if you don't go slow. I've found it has the worst withdrawal of all opioids for me. The trick is to not take anything longer than you have to, and come off slowly and gently. Tramacet also works as an anti-depressant, which isn't a bad thing for you right now.

Another question: How long were you on Tramacet, and at what dose before surgery? One mistake Dr's make is that they think another painkiller will replace Tramacet and they forget that it's also a powerful SNRI anti-depressant. Stopping it cold turkey for a few weeks can cause a bad depression and side effects if you've been taking it steadily for a few months or more. I knew this going in, and had Tramadol in my hospital bag so I wouldn't go through withdrawals. I just adjusted the dose to account for the other pain killers.

And I'm glad to hear you're on a cane. That's progress! You'll relax and find improvement with this hip if you give it time, but if it continues to give you difficult problems 3-4 months out, then is the time to have a second opinion. I don't know what the process is in Canada for that, but relax and give it time to heal. If you feel something is really wrong then, be evaluated by a surgeon independent of the first surgeon. Since I'm in the US, I can't advise on how to do that. Josephine here can also take a look at your X-rays and you should have or be getting your first post-op soon. Ask for a digital copy. She will ease your concerns, or in my case, tell it how it is.

But trust there's a lot of resources here to help. Glad you found us.

TH

 

[Sooty]

TiredHippy what do you mean by slowly? I've been taking Tramadol 50mg 1x at night the past 6 weeks and just 'started stopping' yesterday, planning to taper off night on/night off. Following doctors plans. Is that slowly enough?

 

[HappyHippy]

Sooty,

That's a low dose. I don't think you'll have problems withdrawing. I'm speaking more about people on 100 mg or more a day, who've taken it consistently over 2 months. If you're in the 200 mg or more group, you probably want to taper no more than 50 mg ever other week, and if you get bad symptoms, delay the taper a week or two. I found out the hard way about how tough a drug Tramadol and related drugs are to get off of.

 

[NotDancingRightNow]

Thank you TiredHipppy; I just had a look at my pill bottle and it is co-Tramadol/Tramacet 37.5MG/325MG. I take at about 6/day and am trying to ween to 4. I have been on them since October and in November I took as many as 8/day because of the arthritis pain. It's shameful to admit but I am a retired paramedic and I did not even know that it is an SNRI antidepressant! In fact I almost always research meds that I take and I did not even look up this one when I started taking it. I just wanted pain relief. Maybe this is what is causing my emotional havoc?
Thank you for bringing this to my attention; I was just reading up on it and I didn't even make the connection between the medication and the fact that my heart rate has increased since taking it.... I feel such a moron.

 

[shugaplum]

Good Morning!

I hated the pain killers...I'm already talking to my hubby about how for the C-Section this week I want to be off narcotics ASAP because I hate them so much. The percosets make me feel terrible and that to me, is not conducive to recovery. I was a HUGE fan of ice packs...they took down the swelling and numbed the pain enough for me to exist on extra strength Tylenol. FInd what works for you in terms of pain management but also makes you feel like you.

I was in musical theater- I grew up doing the whole ballet, tap, jazz thing and went to school for Jazz and Theater. As a dancer this process was very emotional because the very same tools that my body had given me that made me great were now the tools that were taking it all away from me. Don't be so hard on yourself for what you're feeling. I truly believe that going through this whole process is similar to going through the grief process. You go through all the same stages of denial, anger, depression, etc. We spend our lives looking in a mirror and perfecting ourselves and then our bodies betray that- what you see is no longer what you were. But that doesn't make it any less fantastic! Given the choice to be the dancer I was but existing the way I was- in pain and depressed- or to take away some of my dancer identity but be able to sleep through the night, walk through the grocery store, etc. without pain...I choose the second. Focus on your quality of living and how wonderful it is. When you feel down about your current recovery think to what you must have felt like 2 months ago. Pick the lowest point and use it as motivation. The day before my surgery my parents and I were walking around Times Square...I love NYC and have spent a lot of time there and could always mix in with the hustle and bustle. Well here I was on a cane at age 26 hobbling through hoping that no one knocked me over or looked at me with pity. The next day my doctor told me that in my most recent x-ray my femur was extremely close to popping out of the joint because there was nothing left. He told me I was lucky I was having my surgery that day because who knows how much longer I could have gone. That was the lowest time in my life. And even in my toughest recovery days, I knew I was getting better and had left that other person behind. Now when I go into NYC, I remember that last day before my surgery and feel extremely grateful for what I have been given.

Allow yourself the tough days, but also choose to look forward! Set small daily goals for yourself and pick long term goals to keep you focused on the end result as well. I had my hip replaced in September and I performed in front of my students the following April. Was I as good as I used to be? No. Were my kids amazed and inspired that I got up and danced on stage for them? Absolutely. I taught those kids how to persevere and smile through it. I also later in my recovery ran a 5k...I never liked running before because it hurt so much. It was actually fun working and training at something I had never done and I felt so accomplished at the end.

And keep coming on here...the people on BoneSmart are amazing and incredibly supportive. No question or concern is too small. If you feel that way, odds are many others on here have been through it too!

 

[NotDancingRightNow]

Shugaplum; I think I agree with everyone here that you are truly amazing and a true inspiration! I think only another dancer can know what it feels like and I'm so glad that you came back to the site when you did!
You are so right about that feeling of looking in the mirror and our bodies betraying us. I gave up that I would never dance again but honestly, after hearing your story; if I can do it just once in a while, I would be so happy; so you have given me hope!

I taught and performed for many years but had to stop; but just did it for recreation the past few years because it was so hard to stop! That deep passion inside to dance is hard to give up. I did some jazz, ballet & tap too but nowhere even close to your extent. Salsa was always rooted in my heart..I can't even listen to the music without crying now. I think being a dancer, you are hyper aware of your body and feel things a little more too. I'm also too old to do it professionally anymore anyways. I do agree that I would rather live a life of less pain though so you are also right about that.

My goal is to be able to play with my kids; go for hikes or bike rides or play hide and seek with them. I'm so tired of saying "mommy can't do that" to the simplest of things so even if I can't dance; as long as I can play with my kids it will be great.

Were you given any warnings from your Dr about dancing or any restrictions? I was told I should not do any impact activities. I think I am worried about contra-body movements the most; which is a huge part of latin dancing.
Did your OS say that by returning to dance, you would shorten the life of the implant at all?

I know that something good always comes out of something bad; even though you can't see it at the time...so I do have faith and this site sure has helped a lot too

Thank you again for responding!

 

[shugaplum]

I completely understand about the passion...I stopped listening to musicals for a long time and still have a hard time some days. It has been a slow process for me to find that love again and not feel betrayed by it. With that said, it does get better. I can enjoy things again that I used to and can smile on the memories of it now more than feel sad by them. Just take your time, allow yourself to go through all the emotions, and know that it does get better.

I think you will definitely be able to do all those goals! I remember teaching one day and a student asked for a demonstration of something. I didn't think about it and just did it. Afterwards I stopped and noted that I had not done that particular step in years! And I hadn't thought twice about it. It's very strange how our bodies heal. There were lots of things that I would realize I could do after I was already doing them! Someday you will be running around with your kids and it will just hit you how normal it feels and how it wasn't that way not too long ago.

My OS was very optimistic about my recovery. I had my surgery done at HSS in NYC with a doctor who specializes in ballet dancers and was given a larger diameter head to allow for a greater range of motion. He was confident in my ability to dance and helped give me some goals for where I should be in my strength and range between appointments. I did find that in my recovery the initial phases were frustrated because I had to relearn how to function as a person first and dancer second. In PT I was coached on how to walk properly again after years of adjusting my gait and limping. But once I mastered what seemed like basic skills the dance things came back so much easier. I spent a lot of time doing my own PT research, as well, so I could understand what my body was going through. Pilates was one of my saving graces throughout, too! Just listen to your body and let it dictate how much you can do and when. I can dance again, although I do have some issues if I torque a certain way. I now know that about my hip and avoid those things. But dancing again is definitely do-able. My surgeon had another dancer about a year after me who he put in contact with me to ask questions, etc. She was a professional ballet dancer and while she has retired from being in a company she is teaching ballet at a prestigious school in NYC and has a very happy and full life.

 

[Jaycey]

nad, just wanted to make one comment on the pain meds. Please remember you are just out of major surgery. I know you want to cut down as soon as possible. But the trick right now is to stay ahead of any pain so that you can get mobile. It's all a cycle - meds then mobility. You will wean off the meds naturally - most people start forgetting doses.

You are sounding much brighter - I predict 2013 will be your year to shine!

 

[bellaroma]

Sorry that you are going through all this, NotDancingRightNow, I changed you name as I wanted to remind you that you can do things you love again. What you are going through right now would make anyone person, nevermind with the post-op bluses hitting you. Just remember we are hear for you, and may the New Year bringing you a new path in life, appreciation and happiness, and no pain