THR Doing it Alone

[Jamie]

Oh my.....you must not write off dancing forever!!! Please see shugaplum's recovery photos and know that your hip can support this activity once you are recovered! Granted, you might need some strength training if you've been out of dancing for a while. But these joints are made for movement!!!

But....you are right.....small steps forward for now. One thing at a time! You HAVE been through a lot this past year. No wonder it must feel like everything is coming down on top of you right now. It will get better.....now I KNOW how strong you are after hearing all this!!!

 

[YoungGma]

I am so sorry you have to contend with this! I dealt with a spouse like yours for years, but thankfully not while having this kind of a surgery! My heart hurts for you! I suggest you check out this link https://www.nar-anon.org/naranon/ and find a group near you and give them a call. Let them know you cannot get to meetings, but still need some support as a family member; maybe they'll have someone who can come talk to you AND maybe help you a bit while they are there. Also, in addition to your family, do you belong to a church? If so, contact the pastor and I'm sure they will have someone willing to help. Otherwise, contact Catholic Social Services in your area, they may have an idea of where to get "companion" type help while you need it....and they provide service to ANYONE, no matter what faith. I'm pretty sure they have branches in Canada too.

It's discouraging any time, but when you are going through recovery like this AND dealing with a relationship like yours, I know how hard it can be. Don't sell yourself short, you ARE a worthwhile and wonderful person, and life WILL improve....I can just about promise you this.

This forum is a fantastic place for support. Know we're all here for you!

 

[Poppet]

Welcome to your international BoneSmart family notadancer.

What a dreadful time you are going through, BUT I am so glad you have found the forum and your new family..

From this moment on, you are not going to be alone..

The most important focus for you is your recovery.

Get strong and mobile and then you can start to work out the other challenges you have in your life.

We are here to support you..

Hugs from Australia.

 

[Jaycey]

Hi notadancer, my goodness you are going through alot. But I must say I had a similar experience and can tell you when things get tough just keep going. I was alone through most of my recovery. This forum provided the support and information I needed to get back on my feet and start living again. Just take things one day at a time. If that's too much - try moment to moment.

Jo is right - the LLD will settle quite a bit. I takes a few months so don't be discouraged. Get those kids of your to help. They will want to help Mom through this - just a bit of guidance on your part will give them a sense of responsibility.

Most important - come back here any time. We are all here from every corner of the globe! Welcome!

 

[shugaplum]

Goodness...what were the odds that this morning I woke up and felt the need to get on Bonesmart and check in? Must have been the universe telling me something!!

First off- much love to my BS family for even thinking of me...I know I don't get on here often but I'm glad that I can still help!

Notadancer- sounds like it has been a rough road, please don't let this get you down. I was a professional dancer myself and then a dance teacher for many years. When I had my THR I was threatened by my boss to be fired for having the surgery and had many things in my life crumbling in front of me. This forum was a godsend to help me piece things back together! I think the best advice I can give is to take it one day at a time. You will have great days, you will have days where you wonder if you will ever feel normal again, and you will have days where you forget you ever had the procedure done! Just take each days as it comes and handle the current challenge in front of you. You need to take care of your body so you can take care of your family.

As for dancing...I had hip dysplasia that made me very flexible but also wore everything out faster. I graduated college with a degree in dance and one of the top dancers of my year, had a job right out of school, and had a teaching job that I loved as well. Choosing to have my hip replaced was one of the hardest decisions I ever made...it felt like admitting I was not as strong as I thought. I also knew that I would be giving up some of my talent. However, the tradeoff was to have a much improved quality of life. I would never ever go back to the girl I was. With that said, I have some fantastic memories of dancing and I know that should I want to return to it- it would be difficult, I would not be the same dancer, but I could do it and still find joy in it. My life took me in a new direction with a new career that I absolutely love. I would not have found that career had my former boss not been such a horrible person. Going through the THR forced me to slow down and look at my life and what I needed to do to be healthy and happy. I have since gotten married and am expecting my first child any day now.

Focus on your health and your recovery- Josephine had some wonderful advice for this! As your body heals, so will your spirit and you will be able to focus on the good things to come in life. And always bear in mind that that this is a huge surgery and takes longer than we think to fully heal so don't be discouraged. Every day is one day closer to being 100%.

 

[iwrite]

Wow, Notadancer, the support you are getting here is AMAZING! It is proof that there are GOOD people in the world who care. The New Year is a time of hope. Wishing you a HEALTHY HEALING New Year here with your new friends!

P.S. I feel much better each day when I get dressed, put on clothes, make up, etc. This may not be what works for you, but it makes me feel so much better.

 

[Jaycey]

Shuga - we were sending you the vibes! Thanks for your valuable input. Hope you are starting see a glimmer of hope Notadancer!

 

[NotDancingRightNow]

Last night I cried so hard...complete with hyper-ventilating and racking sobs for a whole hour. I haven't cried like that since I was a child. It happened again this morning when I got out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror..how much weight i've lost; how deformed my body looks; the fact that the left side of my butt looks flat like a pancake.. I know this is not me! I can't even control it. These waves of saddness just come so unexpectedly and over me. I don't know where it comes from!

but then I came on here and read all the wonderful messages of support and it really touched my heart. Just knowing there are people who understand what I'm going through is such a comfort. I can't thank everyone enough

shugaplum; thank you for your sharing about your dancing; what kind did you do? I was ballroom/latin but mostly salsa. it gave me hope to see your post-surgery dancing pic and I am so glad you signed on this morning.. congratulations on the coming of your baby! thats wonderful news.

 

[Jaycey]

Aw - so sorry about your crying time. But I am afraid it is all a part of this recovery. Here's a thread about it from the Library: Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it

With all you are going through and major surgery on top - very normal. I found the crying bit helped me clear things and get a better focus on the goals ahead. We are all here for you!

 

[Vida]

Aw, lots of love from Vancouver! You are having a really hard time all round. Without the THR anyone would be emotional if they were on your journey. But it will get better. Please contact your community health nurse and see if she can hook you up with volunteer organizations that might lend a hand or help with meals. They do exist. Check out your community recreation centres for joint rehab classes in the pool or out. They are quite cheap. Take it one day at a time, you are young and will be back on your feet quicker than most because you previously have had such flexibility. A great many of us here are old models and have had years and years of stuck muscles and poor ROM. With any luck and a little patience this will be a great year of moving towards positive change for you. So go ahead and person, it feels so good to get it out. Thinking of youXX

 

[NotDancingRightNow]

shugaplum; I was just re-reading your post and I had the same experience with the hip displasia and the extra flexibility and the faster wearing out and it is amazing to see you in the pose from your profile pic...post surgery! that is absolutely amazing!
I am so lucky to have found this site! I wish I had found it sooner!!!
All of you are so amazing and inspirational!

 

[NotDancingRightNow]

btw, does anyone here know when I can go use a hot tub?? I am 3+ weeks post

 

[Josephine]

Notadancer, did you see the link to shugaplum's recovery photos? Jamie posted it for you. You really HAVE to look at that. It will blow your socks off!

 

[Jaycey]

btw, does anyone here know when I can go use a hot tub?? I am 3+ weeks post

I would wait until your post surgery follow up appointment. You need to make sure the wound is totally healed and that you can get in and out without violating any restrictions you might have.

On another subject - I am not sure you got the email about our New Year's Eve party. We have a global get together here over New Years - fun and frolic cyber style. Please join us! No BoneSmarties are alone on New Years Eve!

 

[NotDancingRightNow]

Yes Josephine, I did see them and they were absolutely amazing! If I can get to 1/2 of that I will be thrilled!.

About the New Years Eve Party; no, I didn't get the email. I saw it mentioned and was trying to look for information about it but have not found it yet....

 

[Jamie]

Jaycey is right. Your surgeon needs to give you the go-ahead to be submerged in water...baths, hot tubs or swimming. Normally there is a follow-up appointment at about 6 weeks. Do you have one scheduled for then? If not, when?

 

[NotDancingRightNow]

yes, I have a 6wk on Jan.17 I think.. I was just dying to get into a hot tub to ease away this awful back pain a bit but I will wait...better to be safe than sorry.

 

[Jamie]

Try a heating pad instead. That can help.

 

[tashia]

I'm sorry for all the troubles you seem to be having. I agree that your husband needs to stay away and get himself together if he can. That is all his problem. Now you have to be very strong women just to be this far. Surgrey is ruff enough without having anything els happening. I know you are still in morning so please journal. It will help you so much. And do have certain chores that the kids must do. It will help them and you. Try to stay focus on the recover. Take a day at a time and if that doesn't work a minute at a time. When you wake make a list of thing you have to do. Not to many thing but just a few and as you do them. Pat yourself on the back. Now if you don't get them done they will be thre for tomarrow. If you do get them done Rest, Ice, Elevate, and pain control. In fact if it was me I would do this between each chore. Please go slow. If you hurt don't do it again. Now rest so you can be at New Year Party. Take care Tashia

 

[Jaycey]

All you need to do for the New Years celebration is come on line sometime New Years Eve. Since we are a global community this kicks off quite early for our friends in the US. But always fun and certainly an event not to be missed. The thread will be in the Social Room. I'll look for you tomorrow!