Depression/post-op blues

[Celle]

I read other's threads and some are back to work within weeks.

But they shouldn't be. Just today, I read this from someone who went back to work at 3 weeks post-op: "Went back to work at 3 weeks. Still paying for it at 4 months."

We do advise people not to compare their recovery with anyone else's, because doing that can make you feel you should be doing better - which can be depressing.

 

[newlybionic]

@Naomi60 Im going to have to remember the last line that you wrote. I think that keeping that in mind I hope I'll be able to go forward with my revision. You've helped me today.

 

[Glamg1979]

Same for me @Naomi60 , I am doing this so I can get back to traveling again. Last trip was over a year ago to Hawaii. We went 1st class, because of my knees, and two days before we left the OS loaded both knees with cortisone injections and gave me pain medication. It helped some but the trip was soooo expensive and I was hurting and hobbling. Was browsing Pinterest and looked at my travel board and got teary thinking I will never travel again. Quickly realized that was the post op blues talking and like you said one of the main reasons for going through this is so I can do the things I love again!!
@Celle I know not to compare my recovery to others but when the blues hits so does the "stinking thinking" and I do go there. Got some sleep finally today and feeling some better. This too shall pass ☺

 

[Naomi60]

Who needs therapy when I have you all . I actually kept that thought in my head, reminding myself this was a temporary situation and to just take it easy. I actually took a short nap which is very unusual for me. Today, after a week of no exercise, I started back. I did one exercise to work on extension and one for flexion for 10 minutes twice. I rode the recumbent bike for a total of 30 minutes during 4 sessions. In between I iced and elevated my leg and read a book! Ha! You know, when I was a young mother a friend gave me some very good advice when I was complaining about the stress of being a working mother and all it entails. She said "Rene, this is temporary-one day they will feed themselves and be potty trained, it may take 18 years, but it's temporary." That used to make me laugh so hard.

And so new KNEE (I haven't named it) I chose you baby and I know this is temporary and one day you will be self sufficient and independent and I will love you more than ever!

 

[Glamg1979]

There you go @Naomi60! Good for you. Others do help put things in perspective when we are so wrapped up in our own circumstances.

 

[PegGar16]

My depression hit after the second surgery. I think everything was OK with the TKR because I had planned for it. I went to Costco and stocked the house with everything I thought we would need for about 3 months. I didn't want my husband to have to run around for everything. My mother came out for a couple of weeks to get everything situated. My husband is awesome and has taken care of me for the last seven months but he doesn't handle it well when I am in the hospital or surgery. He has some issues with PTSD (combat vet) and doesn't handle stress well (about me). Recovery went smoothly until week 10.
I was finally able to get out and go to the lake with friends. Had a great day on the boat. We were getting ready to leave when I stood up and look a step to the left. I never felt anything so painful,my husband said it sounded like ripping velcro. I fractured my patella and totally tore the patellar tendon from the patella (on my TKR knee). So surgery in September that was not planned. This surgery left me in more pain than the TKR and six weeks in an immobilizer. I got so depressed about 3 weeks later. I actually went to see a Psychiatrist who actually told me I didn't need meds, that he would be more worried if I wasn't feeling low with everything that was happening. Then December came and the knee got infected. They cleaned it out, found the tendon repair had not taken and admitted me. They could not tell me what the infection was right away but the Infectious Disease Dr thought is was staph infection from the skin. Then came the talk with my OS. He had to go back in The options were to remove everything which the ID wanted or he could be more conservative with just washing it out, replace the polyethylene piece, leave in antibiotic beads and fix the tendon. I chose to be conservative. As soon as he left the room I just started crying and couldn't stop. I felt so bad when my medical attending came in. She was at a loss. I just couldn't stop crying trying to tell her how tired I was of it all. She agreed with how overwhelming it must be for me and gave me a hug (I knew her from working at the hospital).
Now I am finishing up the 6 weeks of IV antibiotics and will start the oral ones for 6 weeks. This one has been tough with the depression. Luckily I am able to work from home so that gives me something to do. For the first couple of weeks the concentration was bad because of the pain meds and the depression. My family was a great help with snapping me out of it. Had friends stopping by and talked a lot on the phone. I am definitely tired of being in the house. I get the PICC out tomorrow YA!!! and see the OS on Friday who will move my brace another 30* and set me up for PT. The knee is looking good with no fluid so hopefully I made the right choice--we will see. The forum has been a God send. Even if I am not writing on it I am reading a lot of the threads. It has helped to show me that others have had the same problems and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Like mentioned above...This is temporary! Now if I can just get my husband to stop cringing when he sees me twisting to take a step..he finally told me that he keeps thinking of the ripping Velcro. Things will get better.....sorry about the book

 

[newlybionic]

You have certainly been through so much. I'm glad the PICC line comes out tomorrow and that you are moving forward. Your positive attitude comes through in what you wrote and it lets me know that even though I already need a revision that I too can make it through.

 

[KarriB]

@PegGar16 that means no more seal and wrap for a shower! Oh it's the little things that mKe a difference!

 

[PegGar16]

@KarriB That was my first thought Another hour and I'm in the shower! It is the little things that mean the most

 

[Swish]

I tried to keep my mind filled with happy thoughts....I read sweet romance novels, watched sitcoms that I loved on TV and just tried to get myself happy. I find that if I pretend I'm happy, eventually it gets me out of the blues. Sounds silly, but it works for me. It helped tremendously to find this site and know that others were going through the same difficulties as me. My friend was back at work 3 weeks after his TKR, and I thought that would be me....it was NOT. My husband kept telling me I was doing great and that helped too.

 

[kneeper]

Yes, getting that outside perspective from a supporter about your progress can help boost your mood.

 

[hawk2go]

It helped tremendously to find this site and know that others were going through the same difficulties as me.

So true! I cannot explain how uplifting it was to know that I was not alone or crazy. I have to tell you that I also used you guys as a reference point "well the forum kneesies said this {fill in the blank} is very common".

 

[referee54]

I never really wept or cried, but I did go to the front window of our living room and stand there and watch the world go by. I was alone for most of the day until my wife came home from work, and the inability to socialize for some time with my fellow teachers and friends really got me down.

Another factor, for me, at least, was the feeling of dependence on people. It bothered me a great deal.

 

[PegGar16]

@referee54 The dependence of others is a problem for me also. Even with my husband I have to keep telling him that I can do certain things. He really has been doing a lot since the end of June. Each time I got to the point where I was fine--bam!--another surgery. He is such a good man and I am staying very positive with this rehab

 

[referee54]

I believe that, when I began to be able to get out of the house for short periods of time, I felt better about things. We humans are, indeed, social animals and if we cannot be around people, for the most part, we feel horrible.

Just going to see my students at school for 1/2 hour helped, and going to PT (even when I was driven there) also helped me, as well. Once I was able to drive at about four weeks or so, I felt much, much better.

 

[freeriderNC]

I feel the same way with husband waiting on me. but I can do some things for my self like carry my plate over and wash it. He does all the cooking and cleaning the clothes. He did my gosh is it never-ending?? Yep pretty much .got everything done. in the house_much. ;) as much as he can. What you want for supper? He starts naming off different things I will eat whatever you want to fix. but now you know what I go thru with planning supper. Just like he days whatever you want to fix Lol I have been sleeping pretty good, Been in spare bedroom we set up before surgery. This will be my 3rd night. Hope everyone continues to have a peaceful recovery. They have me on a cane now. for the most part. Going down the 4 big steps we have with just hubby's hand out in front of me I didn't think I could ever do. Im headed to bed hubby still sleeping in recliner ever since I got home Good night all Stay warm and stay safe

 

[XKV8R]

I just updated my own recovery thread, but I'd been considering making a post to this one as well. I'm told I'm doing well, and I feel like it's true, but not being able to do what I really want to do is getting old.

Here's what I posted there, about this topic:


While I won't go as far as labeling it "depression", I've been feeling bored, and limited, and generally not pleased with my place in the world. I can get up and down the steps to do a load of laundry, or rouse the kids out of bed in the morning. I've cooked a few meals, for the family, not just myself, but have definitely been ready to sit down at the table by the time things are done. I get myself to PT, and if I need to, around the grocery store or hardware store on the way home, but I know I'm moving around like someone 30 years older than I am. I'm getting tired of feeling that way, and I'm still waiting for the day when I feel like I'm in better shape than the day I walked into the hospital. It seems like it's a long way off yet...

 

[Miss Muffet]

Happy Saturday everyone. Thanks for sharing your experiences- and you're all post-op. My frustration is waiting for a date - at least I will then be able to focus and start some serious prep. I broke down in pain yesterday and said " I don't want arthritis anymore!" I know my darling hubby is sorry I'm in this situation and puts up with my snapping so when he comes home with flowers and then presents me with breakfast in bed of smoked salmon and scrambled egg this morning I then shed another tear (gratitude this time).
Do hope all my US friends are ok - do take care and stay inside away from that snow X

 

[karol723]

So happy that I found this thread. Just knowing that all these feelings are to be expected. I just don't feel like doing anything most of the time. Have lots of magazines, puzzles, things to do, but it just seems like too much of an effort. Just doing what needs to be done at home uses up most of the small amount of energy I have. My husband helps a lot, but like most men needs to be asked. I should be use to this by now, but my patience isn't at its highest level I'm not usually cranky, or demanding, so I don't like feeling this way at all. Maybe I need to try harder to put my mind on other things, start one of those puzzles, etc. I can also get lost in worrying about a number of things : am I healing well, does the scar look completely healed, am I getting constipated again, on & on !!! Wow, now I can't shut up !!! Glad there was a place like thus to unload all those negative feelings.

 

[Celle]

My husband helps a lot, but like most men needs to be asked. I should be use to this by now, but my patience isn't at its highest level I'm not usually cranky, or demanding, so I don't like feeling this way at all.

I didn't cry much, but I did get cranky and very angry at times. Frustrated too, at not being able to do things myself.

Like yours, my husband was great, but he did need telling every single thing.
One day, I completely lost it when he didn't read my mind and perceive instantly what I needed. I screamed at the poor fellow, and ranted for a couple of minutes. Poor bloke, he fled to the other end of the house and took refuge in his office for a couple of hours!