Depression/post-op blues

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Please go back to your own recovery thread. It's here:
We can help you. Josephine has asked you some questions that you need to answer, so that she can advise you. We can't help you if you don't help us to do it.
You should also ask your questions about your worries on your own thread.
Hello @Lichevy1,
Welcome to the forum--is this your first time here? One of the administrators will be along today with more info for you. I can tell you that there is no window during which you must fight against scar tissue. That is a myth. There is no reason to be in extreme pain--in fact it is making your knee worse to push it in this way. What you should be doing is resting, elevating your leg, icing your knee and taking pain medications to keep your pain under control.
Have you started a thread yet? If not, please do this so people can give you proper advice.
@Rosieglasses, I can certainly relate to the crying jags... I'd tell my husband, "Here it comes!" and I'd just cry and cry over (what seems now) to be the silliest things. And I'd go on and on about how much I loved him and appreciated him for sticking with me through all of it. In hindsight, I think what choice did he have??! Ha.

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@pumpkin. When I go to my thread it says I have insufficient privileges to reply. How do I get those privilrpeges back?
Josephine has opened you thread again, @turtle68 . You should be able to post in it now.
Actually feel pretty good physically today ( only one pain pill at 9am today and feel good ) - but mentally- lonely, bored and feeling forgotten! I don't know why having surgery would compel people who I consider to be friends to actually call, stop by, or inquire. Not even my brother or one sister have called or anything since surgery. So feeling sorry for myself!
I actually have made a focused effort to make some sort of contact with someone daily- I have called several people I know and asked them to come by for visit. (no return calls at all) I have emailed several. I even posted on facebook that I would love a call or a visit because I really need my friends.. nothing. Yep guess you know where you rate in the world when you are "in-valid." Luckily I am starting to get out to PT and other events slowly, so hopefully I can pretend I still count somehow.
Venting - hopefully will be better tomorrow!
@BB57 you are indeed in the dark days. I am now 3 1/2 months out and I am still so perplexed at what happened to me during that time. Between the medication, the trauma, our own expectations and yes, sometimes negligence on the part of the medical community, we feel alone and scared and worried about what just happened. I found I needed the support of my family and friends way more than I thought. I am very independent and assumed I would handle this like I handle everything else in my life, with confidence, with clarity. Boy was I wrong and it still surprises me. I still cry. Just yesterday I tried to get acupuncture but couldn't go through with it because one of the needles hit a nerve and it hurt. I was explaining to my daughter and she was surprised that I let "a little pain" stop me. I had to tell her that I have had more than my share of pain and I just don't want anymore.

@Rosieglasses I am stealing that phrase "Percocet Tourette's" !!

@redsoxmama I have had the same issue with not enough attention even though my husband has waited on me and taken care of me, I was surprised that I had to do the reaching out to friends. I even confronted one that I felt particularly hurt by. I eventually settled into a little routine with one friend who has come by each week to spend time with me. People just assume we are ok and of course they're busy but yes, it hurts to feel forgotten. Use this forum for community when you can and just call people and ask them to do something specific for you.

Good luck everyone, hang in there. My goal this week is to get more oxytocin, the love hormone, it helps with healing and you get it by being touched, kissing, holding a child, etc.
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Thanks - today was a better day- got out to PT first thing, went for a coffee with my son and later even walked to the mailbox.. BIG trip! I got a card from someone at work who had the boy I help draw the cover -perfect! Also found out one friend DID call yesterday but I missed her call somehow. You are right about people not realizing. I know I have done the same in the past .
What happened to friends bringing a casserole to the sick and shut-in. I still do it but got nary a dish from anyone during my recovery. Wouldn't it just be nice to have a few friends over for a potluck? Invite them, have them bring the food and get commitment for someone to clean up after (not help clean up, actually clean up). My son, his wife and my 4 grands descended upon me 1 week out of surgery. I paid for fruit, drinks, sandwiches and pizza and they did everything else. It was an exhausting couple days and I had to leave them to lie down periodically, but it was definitely a spirit lifter! :ok:
<--- yeah those are 2 of the rascals, the youngest turned a year during their visit.
My mind is still in a very bad place after being assaulted (it still feels strange to call it that but it is true) by my physical therapist a month ago. I drove to Atlanta to seek treatment from a wonderful clinical psychologist I used to see, but cannot find a similar professional where I live currently so I may try Skype appointments which, while not covered by insurance, he is willing to do for what ever dollar amount I send. He did diagnose me with PTSD which, when combined with post-op anxiety and depression...brings me right here, wherever this place is that I am right now. Let's skip the details for now.

I am trying to think of it much like my knee: There will be good days and bad. Doing a lot one day may leave the injury feeling tired the next. Don't compare my recovery to another's. Give the injury love and patience. After three rock-bottom days in a row, I hate to think how I might feel if I wasn't embracing these thoughts!

There are great posts here. Many of my friends have also fled or seem to when I need something. My stepmother experienced that phenomenon during the last year of her life and I will never forgive her friends for it. It hurt her very badly and @Naomi60 I am glad you confronted your friend directly because, for whatever reason, I don't think people understand it anymore. It has caused me very recently (on my good days) to reach out to people who I know are having health issues, even if we aren't close friends.
Hi @shaken75,
I also have PTSD--not from my knee, but from an incident 7 years ago. I needed a combination of talk therapy, EMDR therapy, yoga, and fluoxetine to get relief from my symptoms. The EMDR is great for controlling the unwanted memories. The fluoxetine really keeps my startle response at a minimal level that I can deal with. The yoga helped me learn to relax again. Just before my TKR surgery I was getting more startle response and some of that someone's about to jump me nervousness. I had hypnosis with my talk therapist and it really helped. I don't know if you want to share experiences with treatment. It has helped me to do this. People don't realize that once you have PTSD, you always have it. But it is very possible to treat the symptoms and become symptom free. I just have to work at keeping my stress level down and take my fluoxetine to deal now.
@shaken75 It is very difficult dealing with recovery and all the problems that can arise during it. I have had major depression and other issues for a large part of my life. It is very hard when it seems that friends have abandoned you. I've been through that experience and always try to help others. I even went back to school and became a RN. I try to help anyone that needs help that I can in addition to my job. I take several medications. I also speak to a psychologist weekly. Skype is a very good idea if your psychologist is able to work with you. It's good to have someone you can trust. Talk to whoever you can. Can your psychologist recommend anyone close to you that you can try? There may also be support groups at a local hospital that can help with depression, PTSD or almost other medical problem there is. I hope you start to feel better soon.
Thank you both. @jarabas and I are in touch via pm now but for the benefit of others, I will add props for EMDR treatment for PTSD. Even just a couple sessions helped more than I can describe. "Startle response" is a term I had not heard and I am so glad you mentioned it because it was an issue before and is exaggerated terribly now.

@newlybionic - yes, when I needed help before, while living in Atlanta, "shopping" for the right therapist was a terribly difficult process. There is nothing like spilling your story to a stranger while you are at your low only to learn it is not a good fit...over and over again. Once I found this psychologist, I was so relieved. He does not have connections up here, but he told me what to look for based upon why he thinks I like him (clinical psychologist, EMDR practitioner, Ph.D. earned 20+ years ago (what he feels was a key component in his education is no longer emphasized in most programs)). I have not yet found anyone like that around here, but have not searched beyond those covered by my insurance yet. Just another thing on my long list to fall further behind on.

I am (perhaps too) biased against prescription and even OTC drugs - for sure I use them, but only after I have tried behavioral adjustments. I will try drinking water or resting my eyes first for a headache, for example, and I try to play with my diet and exercise when my depression gets bad. I am taking something for anxiety now so be assured I won't refuse, but I hope I don't need to be on something forever...

And yes, I am talking to EVERYONE I can. I have had issues with depression in the past, but I was very private about it. There is something about this that is making me sound the sirens and reach out in all directions, without a care as to whether the subject matter makes people uncomfortable. It frightens me how incapacitated I can become and I know if it happens when I am alone in public...I also have strong fears about long-term effects and how/who I might be after all is said and done. If it does not improve dramatically over how I am now, the rest of my life is going to be pretty rough.
This thread has now been closed but from these examples, you can see what you're experiencing is normal and likely to go away on its own within a few months. Please discuss in your recovery thread any positive approach you've found or ask for assistance. Don't hesitate to seek professional help is you feel your problem is not resolving.
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