Depression/post-op blues - open for all
- Thread starter Josephine
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marita
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I think my problem is that underneath it all, I feel angry. I feel angry that nobody seemed to really inform me what a big deal this could be. My OS signed off on a disability sticker for my car for until Dec. 31. He said I'd be walking by then. Wrong. My PT said I'd be walking without aides at six weeks. Wrong. I feel that I was misled and thus had unrealistic expectations. When those expectations proved false, I felt very sad. I don't like walking around with a gimp. I don't like the post op pain. I don't like it that I can't do many things I expected to be able to do by now. I'm actually amazed that I'm not more down than I am.
@marita Unfortunately we see so much of this here on BoneSmart. Surgeons set expectations based on some average - not the real patient. And PT - well don't get me started on that one!
No one can predict how long your recovery will take. There are so many factors like how long you limped around pre-op, muscle atrophy, tilted pelvis - the list goes on. Then there is your own body's reaction to the trauma of surgery.
I'm sorry you have been a victim in this. But I hope after reading here and posting you have a better idea of where you are headed.
Meanwhile can you go back to your GP and get an extension on your disability sticker? Are you still using walking aids like a crutch or cane? Icing and elevating? Please don't be shy about asking for what you need. It's your body and your own recovery.
No one can predict how long your recovery will take. There are so many factors like how long you limped around pre-op, muscle atrophy, tilted pelvis - the list goes on. Then there is your own body's reaction to the trauma of surgery.
I'm sorry you have been a victim in this. But I hope after reading here and posting you have a better idea of where you are headed.
Meanwhile can you go back to your GP and get an extension on your disability sticker? Are you still using walking aids like a crutch or cane? Icing and elevating? Please don't be shy about asking for what you need. It's your body and your own recovery.
dapplega
member
@marita - Just writing to give you encouragement to hang in there... My recovery has been different than yours but I dealt with a lot of second guessing and mental adjusting (ongoing... 
). At a bit over 3 months post op it may be to early to gauge the success of the surgery.. One day at a time. Here's hoping things start looking up over the next few weeks... D
). At a bit over 3 months post op it may be to early to gauge the success of the surgery.. One day at a time. Here's hoping things start looking up over the next few weeks... D
Horseshoe
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gillycat11
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@dapplega, how are you now? I have read your post and it has resonated so much with my own. I too had been previously well and active but endured 2 years of increasing pain and reduction in mobility before I eventually sought a medical opinion. Like you I was surprised when THR was the only treatment on offer. I had this on 26 Oct 2017. I've had so many emotions since them- to the point where I wondered if it was worth it at all. However it's done now. I'm not saying I'm not scared about potential prosthesis failure, nor that I don't worry about being more vulnerable, but the truth is, since the op I walk better, have less pain, and a greater range of movement. I guess life will be different, but hopefully better. Love to hear how you're getting on.
dapplega
member
Hello @gillycat11 - I'm doing better. I put an update on my recovery thread last Wednesday that you can see here: https://bonesmart.org/forum/threads/nap.43775/page-3
I'm glad your sugery was successful. Mine was too and most of my adjustments have been mental.
It's a big deal and I may not have fully prepped myself prior to the impact it would have. Now at 4.5 months things are getting back to normal. Hope this helps. I think time helps a lot with the mental parts...
I'm glad your sugery was successful. Mine was too and most of my adjustments have been mental.
It's a big deal and I may not have fully prepped myself prior to the impact it would have. Now at 4.5 months things are getting back to normal. Hope this helps. I think time helps a lot with the mental parts...
Walkinginthesand
senior
Thanks @Jaycey yes he’ll call me
Fragile- that’s a great description. I am a VERY independent woman and I feel so dependent on everyone. Three weeks tomorrow and I am feeling first pangs of depression.
Gretel
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@Walkinginthesand its a really tough thing when you’re very independent. It’s not forever and it gets so much better! Thinking of you 
Newknee54
new member
I had a very emotional down period during my second TKR, cried for what seemed no reason at all about everything little thing.There is a large emotional component that no one talks about.Western medicine doesn't recognize the emotional, spiritual part of major surgery.Thats why a web site like Bonesmart is so helpful.I also went out for PT and my therapist was a big support as was all of the staff at the practice.
Walkinginthesand
senior
@Newknee54 you must be right. I feel sort of detached from my normal self. I am tired, weak and just not the normal me! How can you still be positive and confident and then cry? Have you read what other cultures believe about surgery?
Eeek
senior
I’m having my left knee replaced in two weeks. And I am anxious. But I‘ve been very straightforward with all my docs about anxiety (I have a long standing issue with generalized anxiety, although I‘ve been treated with some success for years). Both the surgeon and anesthesiologist have recommended a general anesthetic. And i am doing that with some reluctance....although I think it will be better for me. I just wish I could manage the spinal, because everyone else seems to. That’s silly, isn’t it.
I know it‘s going to be tough. But I also know I have to do it. But it is still very scary. It helps to know that so many people here have gone through this with success, and doctors, etc are qualified.
Right now, all I can do is work through it, and look forward to the aftermath. It’s how I got through chemo. But it’s hard.
I know it‘s going to be tough. But I also know I have to do it. But it is still very scary. It helps to know that so many people here have gone through this with success, and doctors, etc are qualified.
Right now, all I can do is work through it, and look forward to the aftermath. It’s how I got through chemo. But it’s hard.
WifeE
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Depression and FRUSTRATION are components of the hurdles to becoming the new YOU! At 16 months post-op, im still in pain and not weight bearing for more than 20 min...just KEEP looking up! Our challenges can be for the growth of another!
Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Tapatalk
Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Tapatalk
AgilityDog
graduate
Yesterday was 3 weeks. I walked too much &/or did too much yesterday. My daughter came over to help. Today I am supposed to go to my 1st PT. I haven't driven yet. I'm in pain. I want to stay put & elevate & ice & sleep. And now I want to cry. I am not a person who usually cries. But I have something important tomorrow & the next 2 days after that. 
dapplega
member
Hang in there @AgilityDog ...
Go ahead and cry - it helps...
I struggled around the 6 week mark, I reckon most all of us do at some point...
One day at a time, it will get better...
D
Go ahead and cry - it helps...
I struggled around the 6 week mark, I reckon most all of us do at some point...
One day at a time, it will get better...
D
@AgilityDog Your idea about staying in, icing and elevating sounds just great. Please don't feel pressured to do any PT. It is not necessary and it often results in aches and pains that could be avoided.
Sounds like you are here: Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it Just roll with it. This too shall pass!
Sounds like you are here: Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it Just roll with it. This too shall pass!
AgilityDog
graduate
Thanks @Jaycey . I went to PT. Lady was nice. I have a sheet with exercises to do at home. They are for muscles & only 1 has hip movement. Also, don't make it hurt. I liked that!! DH heard the OS mention a timeframe for me to walk unassisted. I think he is dissapointed in my progress. However, he did mention that he doesn't want me to be crippled. I think he believes I must do PT religiously to recover. He meets OS tomorrow to discuss his hips
It is also hard when your answers to family & friends border on 'walk in the park'. To keep them happy and the amount of advice down.
It is also hard when your answers to family & friends border on 'walk in the park'. To keep them happy and the amount of advice down.
Well there really isn't any timeframe for walking unassisted. Everyone is different and depending on how long you limped around pre-op it can take quite awhile before you feel confident without walking aids. Have your DH do some reading here. Recovery certainly isn't simple.
1GreatGran
member
@AgilityDogYesterday was 3 weeks. I walked too much &/or did too much yesterday. My daughter came over to help. Today I am supposed to go to my 1st PT. I haven't driven yet. I'm in pain. I want to stay put & elevate & ice & sleep. And now I want to cry. I am not a person who usually cries. But I have something important tomorrow & the next 2 days after that.
First I am so sorry u are struggling. I am 9 months post RTHR and 5 months post LTHR.
Both surgeries were posterior.
I like u am not a person to cry easily. I am a person who listen to herself and what she feels. Depression was very real for me also. I truly did not understand how many parts of me the surgery(s) had affected. Trust your instincts about what your body needs.
Needing rest after doing " Too much" is exactly what u should be doing.
Every recovery is different, even between the two legs.
This is what I have discovered. I discovered many things about myself. My lack of patience with myself. My lack of forgiveness of self of what I couldn't do when "I thought"
I "should be" able.
Be kind to yourself....love yourself, praise yourself for talking care of you.
For me each week gets a little easier. I am not the Rochelle from before my surgeries, I am a wiser, stronger her. So, I am grateful to feel like I am 40 (in my mind at least) in this 63 1/2 year old body.
I look forward to hearing about your progress. Best wishes to you.
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AgilityDog
graduate
Thank you @1GreatGran . I think you shared facts with me that I had not yet realized. I had a little chat with my hubby this AM before he ran off to work. It always helps the share your expectations. We sold, gave away, put in storage Everything to move here because my youngest needs me/us. I am blessed that my (relatively) new partner was willing. My daughter has serious health challenges that can cause sudden hospitalization. I am usually busy helping my daughter and her family. Sometimes it is hard to be far away from trusted friends and family. This is one of those times. BS has been a bright spot in my day. I hope that I am able to help and encourage others. I actually think that I am mending quickly and nicely. I am not used to managing Fibro. It is new for me & it is apparently making my journey back to the new & improved/old me a challenge. Thanks for listening. Thanks for caring. Thanks for taking the time to write.
