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Depression/post-op blues - open for all

Discussion in 'Hip Replacement Recovery Area' started by Josephine, Jan 17, 2016.

  1. kimnewhip

    kimnewhip new member

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    Total Left Hip Replacement on 9-18-2017
    Hello. This is my first post on here, so please forgive any mistakes. I had total left hip replacement on 9-18-2017, so today is day 9. I am doing good physically. I am doing my PT, both in home, and going out to the actual PT facility. I am moving well with the walker, and will probably graduate to crutches next week. My hip is starting to feel "normal," and not that "strange" feeling anymore. The thing is, I am getting panic attacks. I don't know what starts them, or what the trigger is. I know I need to get outside more. I will do word searches, and read, but there are times when I just start to cry, and it feels like the walls are closing in. I am sometimes afraid to go to sleep at night too. I don't like being strapped to that pillow either. There are so many restrictions, and I'm keeping them, it is just hard. I know many of you know what I am talking about. I take it day by day, but needed to vent to others that have gone through the same thing. My husband has been wonderful about all of this. I take it day by day, but these panic attacks are not fun. Any advise would be great. Thank you.
     
  2. dapplega

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    @kimnewhip
    Sorry to hear you are struggling. I had my right hip done on 9/12.
    I think the first few weeks are hardest but I can say things do seem to get better each day.
    Regarding sleeping while strapped to the pillow... I can't imagine getting any sleep that way. It is bad enough being restricted to your back without being strapped in... My OS only requires a pillow in between my legs. Even in the hospital that was sufficient. May be worth asking if you can do the same to help get you some rest...
    Stay positive, things will get better... :)
    D
     
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  3. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    @kimnewhip Welcome to BoneSmart! What you are feeling is all a part of this recovery. The feelings can range from just feeling blue to full blown panic. Roll with it - it will pass. Here's a thread from our Library about Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it

    Why don't you start your own recovery thread in the recovery area? Lots of members had their surgery at the same time. Going through this with others really does help.
     
  4. mystikfairy61

    mystikfairy61 graduate

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    @kimnewhip I had mine on 9/12. I understand feeling that way. The first few days it seemed like they were forever long. It does get better. Be patient with yourself and like Jaycey said,roll with it. Allow yourself to rest and relax, be sure to take pain meds by the clock. I found if my pain started to get out of control then my anxiety and blues were worse. Will watch for your post op thread. We are here for you every step of the way and there are quite a few of us within just a few days of where you are since surgery. Feel free to get on here anytime, there is usually someone around since there are people on here from all over the world. Hope you rest well tonight.
     
  5. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Seems like my emotional weirdness came on at 3 weeks when I was actually physically feeling better. It is like all that pre-op anxiety, and then sort-of had adrenaline rush first few weeks and then when all was getting better, I emotionally fell out.
    I kind of think it's akin to having a breakdown after the crisis is over???
    When you finally have time to...
     
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  6. snickers

    snickers member

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    We had surgery on the same day!!! I also went through that feeling of too many restrictions and being closed in...what I did was put myself on a schedule of riding my recumbent bike and doing my exercises then doing some light reading then an outing of some kind every day. That structure really helped. As far as the restricrions....I just had to tell myself they are not permanent and just follow them and all will be so much better quickly. I wish you the best and just think how good things are going to be shortly!

    Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk
     
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  7. kimnewhip

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    10-3-2017
    Hello to All!
    I had my first two week post-op checkup, and all is good! I am doing so much better! I turned the corner on Day #13. No more panic attacks! I have slept through the night as well! Yes! I LOVE my sleep! I also no longer have to use the ice machine or the leg compression pads as well, I'm free! I still have to sleep with the pillow between my legs, but that's ok. I don't want to break the restrictions. I have been doing PT, both at home, as well as going to the actual building. I am walking outside, using a walker, as the sidewalks in the city are not even. I walk around the house without the walker, crutches, or cane. I am "wobbly," but that will come with time. I also get out with family and friends. I will probably try driving here by this upcoming weekend. I feel so good! So glad I had the surgery. Thanks to All of you!
     
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  8. inasboy

    inasboy new member

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    Luvinlex, did you happen to go to the Mayo Clinic? Sounds like my experience there.
     
  9. Brunhilda

    Brunhilda junior member

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    Hi-I had total hip replacement surgery on 6/28/17. The great news is that I am walking with a cane (no walker) and can take myself anywhere and drive. Also, I am planning a trip next month as well as the feeling that I will be able to cook at Thanksgiving. Things do tend to look up quickly! Good luck!

    Denise
     
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  10. dapplega

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    I’ve debated for a while about posting this but I’m interested if anyone has felt like I do post-surgery...
    I know for many this surgery is life changing, you looked forward to it, and life notably improved afterwards.

    I’m almost 8 weeks post op TRHR. My pre/post op photo is below, curious if my pre photo compares similarly to others (result communicated was KL grade 4 bone on bone and MRI said the same..) My surgery was successful and my recovery has been better than most.
    For that I do feel blessed but I’m wondering why I feel so depressed…

    Part of me thinks I may have gone into surgery to quickly (a little over two months after seeing three surgeons who all said a THR was needed when I was ready). I started having symptoms 14 months prior to that but nobody took an xray and the docs, pt, and myself thought it was a stubborn groin pull...

    I posted my pre-op dilemma and considered advice from here and others that if it needed to be done than sooner is better than later.

    I originally scheduled surgery for October 10 but then in August decided if I was going to do it why wait and moved it to September 12. I was second guessing myself a week before which was the first time I posted. I was even questioning myself right up until they wheeled me to the operating room (of course my hip wasn’t hurting that morning…).

    I remember some of the things that made me think I was doing the right thing like how I felt after helping my daughter move in/out of places with 2 flights of stairs. I was wiped after that and walking really hurt. A colleague at work told me I was walking like an old man. I could barely cross my right leg (and couldn't keep it there long). I was limping some of the time, my knee was starting to hurt some of the time and I wasn’t sleeping well due to muscle tightness and some groin pain…

    I tell myself all those things and the logic part of my brain tells me I made the right decision but part of me (against my will… :)) continues to second guess things like why didn’t I wait longer to make sure my head was in the right place, or if my activities were going to change post-surgery anyway to protect my left hip why didn’t I wait to see if that activity moderation would help with the pain in my right?

    Now that I’ve had the surgery I just don’t feel myself. I guess I feel less than what I was. I feel like I’m vulnerable and living in a bubble… Even though chances are remote I worry about infection (trying to understand how it gets into the bloodstream, etc.). I worry about tripping/falling (something I never would have given a second thought before). I worry about how long the implant will last (I know the posts on here reference “forever hip” but I don’t think there really is any conclusive data about getting 30-40 years) and the difficulty of a revision operation. I worry about longevity of my ceramic on poly dual mobility cup compared to traditional… I worry about these things even though I know they can’t be answered and that I have to accept it…

    At my 6 week checkup with the surgeon I asked him if I was his brother would he have recommended I get the surgery when I did (he said yes but I guess I wasn’t really expecting a different answer... J).

    I also found out I have arthritis in my shoulders and left hip though not as bad as what my right was…[​IMG]

    All of this just makes me feel so much older, and less, than I did just 2 years ago…. I was strong, confident, and yes likely had ego and vanity about how good a shape I was for my age.

    I think one of the responses to my prior post called it a reality cookie…

    I know the logical answer to this. You made the decision, it is over, deal with it, suck it up. There are no guarantees and life isn’t fair, and you do the best playing the hand your dealt…

    I don’t know if I would feel different if I’d waited to make sure I was more mentally ready or been in more pain. I’ve always been one to analyze and overthink…

    My experience on this forum has been great and I almost feel bad posting this as I've been blessed in comparison to many others...

    Did any of you felt this way after your surgery and, if so, how long did it last or how did you get over it?

    prepost.jpg
     
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  11. Layla

    Layla FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    I know you've heard my take @dapplega but I'm going to take a stab at this again....The surgery is life changing in that it takes away our OA pain and gives us back lost flexibility and mobility, in most cases. I don't know if anyone looks forward to losing their natural God given hip. The physical pain and inability to accomplish many things you once took for granted are the driving force.

    Your photo doesn't look good to me. I'm guessing you've compared it to the x ray of your good hip and to other online photos of healthy hips. You obviously see the difference.

    I had symptoms for about 20 months. I wasn't in severe unrelenting pain 24/7. I didn't use a walking aid and never took anything other than Advil or Aleve and that was only on occasion because I hate NSAIDS. I don't like pharmaceuticals either and only took 4 Oxy post op then - DONE. I have an aversion to meds. That's just me. I took Tylenol for another week or two...then nothing since then. Pre surgery I limped, couldn't cross my legs, still can't. Still have difficulty putting my knees together while sitting but can do it easily while standing. I could no longer do it while standing pre-op. My husband and kids were bothered by the way I walked. I'd catch them watching me get up from a sitting position and walk....then they'd comment. Getting out of the car......very painful! I had to lift my leg so I could slowly straighten it or else I'd yelp like a dog! I still have some limitations I wasn't expecting BUT that horrid pain is gone.

    Could I have waited on surgery......Yes. I drove myself crazy with all of the what if's. What if I'm no better afterward, What if I have a horrible reaction to anesthesia. What if I die during surgery. Should I leave letters for my children telling them how much I love them. I quietly cried myself to sleep many nights. I cried alone in my car while driving. I talked it through with my parents who had replacements. I shared my fears with my husband.
    But in the end it had to be my decision, in my time. I prayed and prayed and prayed. And oh by the way, I prayed! I decided to move forward with surgery and asked God to stop me in my tracks someway if surgery wasn't meant to be OR to please protect me through it all, THEN I trusted. I was still afraid but I trusted. I had reservations right up until I watched the blue mask come down over my face...thinking to myself "Just go with it". My hip may or may not have been hurting that morning...don't remember but I do recall limping into the surgery center thinking I pray I'm alive and walking out of here tomorrow.

    I too worry about infection, I too worry about tripping and falling, dislocation, needing to go through this again with my other hip, longevity of implant / revision. I feel more vulnerable also. That's natural. We all realize we have limitations. You're not alone in your thinking. We all need to take precautions that weren't necessary before surgery. But as I've said before this is affording us a second chance. Some people go to doctor appointments and learn they have a terminal illness. Thankfully we all had a solution to our problem.

    I'm quite sure I have arthritis in my shoulder also. Some days it's fine, others it's very painful. I've yet to be diagnosed. Just don't care to go through the imaging or hear the news right now. I'll deal with it when / if it worsens. Our bodies are aging daily. All we can do is take care of them the best way we know how. None of us will leave this world unscathed.

    I'm analytical and an over thinker myself. I guarantee you'd go through this same thought process even if you had waited. Same thoughts.....different day or year.

    I don't think you should feel bad about posting your feelings. Especially feelings most of us share. Many share them but will never verbalize them. I don't feel there's a magic answer, or solution. I think it's a mental and physical adjustment and we all eventually arrive at that place of acceptance. Prayers you arrive there soon...
     
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  12. Gretel

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    @Mojo333 I do seem to be channeling you lol! I’m a week later though. I’ve been pretty good over the weekend but just thinking about hubby going back to work tomorrow and I’m teary.
    I’m feeling achy and a bit off today but I really think it’s emotional more than physical. The silly thing is I had the best nights sleep I’ve had since surgery last night.
     
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  13. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    @Gretel Still early days for you and certainly lots of this can be post op blues. Hang in there - this will pass. Perhaps have hubby call you midday just to check-in. I stayed alone most of my recovery and was just fine.
     
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  14. Gretel

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    Thanks @Jaycey yes he’ll call me :) Usually I’m fine on my own. Just feeling a wee bit fragile.
     
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  15. Horseshoe

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    I could have written a similar post.. like many people here, was very fit and active my entire life and felt amazing until hip OA unexpectedly settled in a few years ago. I was shocked to find that I needed two thrs and was still questioning it even as I was being wheeled into the OR!

    This is what you avoided: A probable slower recovery as bad hips affect other body parts/muscles/alignment that also need to recover and the not-to-be underestimated mental drain from chronic pain. Bad hips = poor mobility which impact all areas of life. Chronic pain wears you down, I couldn't keep up anymore and felt somewhat alienated as a result.

    It did make me feel old before my time, it was a drastic personal change to go from feeling great to relying on crutches. I bet people both older and younger feel the same; it's a blunt intruder that -no matter our age- we are mortal and the body is showing signs of wear despite a good lifestyle.

    I certainly have concerns about infection, devices wearing out, possible revision, falling (something I never thought about before) and dislocation. The chances are real but stats are small, it is the sobering price of admission.

    Thrs have made me feel younger in many ways though, didn't expect this nice benefit. I regained my height, straight posture and am no longer stiff; my hips cannot hurt anymore because they are fake!

    OA only gets worse, you'll look back one day soon and be glad you did this. It's a mental adjustment like any other and the mind may take a bit longer to catch up to the physical reality.
     
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    Last edited: Dec 4, 2017
  16. hoppy Mary

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    @dapplega. I hear what your saying.. could I should I have waited.. NO.. I did! Op date Aug 2016.. bottled.. I'm grand.. too soon.. op date Oct 2016.. bottled.. I really don't need major surgery now.. I'm still very active... I'm walking 7km for pleasure 3/4 times a week.. most weeks.. conveniently forgetting the days I couldn't walk at all... all this operation talk premature.. April/May 2017... acute pain became chronic pain.. I really couldn't move without discomfort.. sleep... a forgotten friend... u turn.. I was thanking the Lord on 21st June.. the day I had my bilateral. Yes you probably could have put your surgery off for a few months.. a few months when the pain would have got so bad you felt and moved like someone twice your age.. you made the right choice. Well done.. congratulations on making the correct choice... you didn't put off the inevitable.. you saved yourself unnecessary pain... in another few months you will think your a 30 year old.. love and enjoy your new hip..
     
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  17. marita

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    Wow, I remember how the most important thing for me when I was having difficulties after open heart surgery was for someone (it could have been anyone!) to hold my hand. When I asked the nurse when I was having a pacemaker put in to just tell me it was OK, she forgot so I had to prompt her while I was on the table under a sheet and starting to get panicky!
     
  18. Frances101

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    Having read all the threads on here I realise how lucky I was with my hospital and the staff there, who were all, without question, totally supportive. As I went into theatre for my very first operation since I was a teenager, I went into panic and a nurse saw this and gave me a hug. I remember her words to me so clearly - "Oh my love" she said "Look around you and know that everyone in this room is here to care for just you"
    I had my meltdown at home three days after surgery when I suddenly felt overwhelmed and burst into tears in front of the visiting nurse who was also my physio. Again I got a hug and some very reassuring and wise words. "Be more gentle on yourself. This is a journey, not a race"
    At my post op appointment I got big smiles from the surgeon, even though I had a small complaint about not being offered anti nausea drugs in the ward. He said he would pass on my concerns as that should not have happened. Then he congratulated me on my progress. I felt a mile tall.
     
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  19. fabfay2

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    I had THR 1/4 and I am really struggling with depression. I still hurt physically and would rather stay in bed than do anything else. Any suggestions?


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  20. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    @fabfay2 Welcome to BoneSmart and well done on your THR. Post op depression is very common. But the good news is that it will ease with time. Here's that link from the beginning of this about Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it

    Can I suggest that you start your own thread in the Hip Recovery area? You will get lots of support and more information on coping with this recovery in your own thread.

    If you are in pain, perhaps you are under medicated. Are you icing and elevating regularly?
     
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