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Depression/post-op blues - open for all

Solar7 said:
I'm a high earner in tech. It'd be hard to jump from making $135k+ to slide down to making maybe $45k as an entry level worker in who knows what at the age of 37.
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Well I was in high tech for years and at the age of 48 decided my quality of life was worth more than the stress the job was causing. I packed up and moved to a different country and never looked back.

In the environment you are in, it's tough to dismiss the money. But for me, it was totally the best thing to do.
 
Currently my new mate the hip has settled and as a consequence I'm finding I can get up and about more

A bit of cooking,putting the washing on, vacuuming, putting the shopping away and this week I half made the bed.

That's the good news. Bad news is family think I'm back so getting a little less help when I need it.

They've pitched in big time but I have to keep reminding them I'm not fully healed yet.

They understand but I'm in a place where I'd like to do what I can because it makes me feel like I'm getting back to doing something useful other than lying around all day but on the other hand I'm still relying on others quite a bit.

Wanting to do things but still needing help is a frustrating place to be. I'm over the fatigue...somedays I'm wiped out and feel miserable.

I'm heading into week 5 and it's dragging.Argghhh...
 
Goma said:
I'm heading into week 5 and it's dragging.Argghhh...
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That is a lot of activity for only 5 weeks out. Please remember (and remind your family) that you are discharged from hospital TO heal, not fully healed. Please ask for help. This is all temporary!
 
Thank you.

It's more me than them. They're not taking advantage of me by any means.

They see me doing a task and leave me to it but I'm doing what I can cope with not so much more than I can cope with.

But by the same token I'm doing too much and should step back.

Have to find a balance. The weekend is here so lots of rest. Sorry I'm ranting but better here than not at all...even worse in my head.
 
That was a very polite rant. Sometimes you just need to be able to say what you are thinking so your mind stops picking at it. Do take care- you still have lots of healing to accomplish.
 
Unexpectedly I've slept most of the weekend away. I pace myself but it all catches up. The physical and mental fatigue..... it's more,always just more.

Not only all that but I look a mess...not from a vanity point of view but yeh you don't look like yourself. Maybe it's perception but I feel like a patient. The hip is always in the forefront of your mind and you're never fully relaxed.
 
Goma said:
I've slept most of the weekend away.
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That's okay. You probably needed it after a busy week. You are still early days in this recovery. Remember, during the first few months after surgery, your body is working hard to repair itself from the trauma of surgery. Recovery takes all of your energy, which is why you fatigue more easily.

It may seem like you are doing "nothing," but your body's energy stores are busy doing things like making and restoring lost blood, repairing soft tissue damage, and beginning the process of producing the important building blocks to insuring proper bone growth into your new prosthesis so it can be solid and not loosen.

Be patient with yourself!
 
Thank you, I need to be reminded and validated. My hip is the priority.
 
Hi all I’m just over 3 weeks trhr , don’t know if it’s normal but I feel so sad and cry a lot .I’m normally a very active person who looks after everyone else .I feel so frustrated not being able to do the normal things I do .I know things will get better but it seems such a slow process. Sorry I know I’m being impatient but I can’t seem to look forward
 
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Hi @Nannyh70
All the frustrating pain before surgery...pre-surgery nerves
Boring New Normal Recovery period and the post-op blues ...
Hard on anyone much less we independent nurturing types...

It is but a temporary situation, friend.
Bonesmart is a great place to share, whine, vent, and celebrate with folks who are behind you, ahead of you, and right where you are.
Please consider starting a recovery thread so folks can follow your journey.
 
@Nannyh70 Welcome to BoneSmart! What surgery did you have and what was the date. We will put the information in your signature for you.

What you are feeling is totally normal. It's called Post Op Blues. The good news it fades fairly quickly. Your mobility will continue to increase and you will get back to active living again. It just takes time and a bit of patience.
 
The bright side is that eventually we can look forward to getting back to doing what we do pain free.

That's the end game and it's coming.
 
I think anesthesia and the surgery made me more emotional. I purposefully watched a few tearjerkers and that seemed to help. I could also blame the movie for boohooing if needed. Family and caregivers do not always understand the emotional wallop this surgery can have. I agree that it gets better with time.
 
Hi Nannyh70,
I am sorry that you're having a rough time lately. Today is your one month anniversary and I hope you've had a peaceful weekend. Since it's so early into your recovery, please consider starting a thread, sharing a bit of your story and offering updates on your progress so we're able to encourage you along the way. We have some Recovery Guidelines to share that you will likely find useful. Please join us!
Starting a new thread and posting
If you have any questions or need help, just let us know and we'll be happy to assist.
@Nannyh70
 
its always supportive to read others stories on how they’re doing. On my own is double hard to keep the ‘reigns on the brains’.
Being mindful, meditation to calm anxieties along this way.
On month 5 now post first THR.
Still on crutches as un-opt hip is real bad.
My poor shoulders are takin a hammering after 1.5yrs on crutches. They hurt.

I keep reading that patience is much needed. . And i reeeally try to keep that positivity ... but its a struggle to believe that all this will end and when/if i’ll ever have some normality again. I can’t get out much so I guess this is a buncha cabin fever on top.
UK’s NHS is buckling, i may have to borrow funds to go private, i just can’t do another year of this though. Praying for us all in recovery. I appreciate your encouragements sent out across the miles.
As its a lonely road i’m on.
 
Oh, @Bevelina, it is so unfair that you are in so much pain waiting for that second THR. I remember how painful my hip was before my THR and can't imagine having to live like that for as long as you. I hope you get a date soon.

Meanwhile, sending hugs. :console2:
 
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