@donnag1108
Thank you. I did trust my surgeon, it's just that I'm anxious because the recovery is such a long process. My surgeon doesnt seem sympathetic about that, he just says, you have to keep moving. And says, wait till you really start using that knee, it will be your strong one. Hes more like a cheerleader at this point.
Anxiety is hard, many people dont quite understand how devastating this illness I'd. I have these automatic negative thoughts (ants) that say, what if you made a mistake! And, what if things dont progress normally? And what about 10 years from.now? You will never be able to do yoga now. It's as if I'm in a constant struggle with the "what-ifs" and "could-bes" as if they'd already happened. Then there's the blaming myself for not doing enough research prior to the surgery, which is true. I wasnt prepared well.
I have a PT now who is helping me with functional stuff like balance and proper walking because I limped so long prior to surgery, and she tells me I'm doing great, my only problem is my lack.of confidence. Last night I was awake all night struggling with negative thoughts. I combat them by keep telling myself that I am having a normal recovery and things are progressing well.
I just wanted to share that for people who dont understand what anxiety is like. I need people to think positively for me so I can hear it and believe it. My mind plays tricks on me. Thanks. My ROM was 0/128 today.