TKR Canadian Girl's Journey
- Thread starter 71Beetle
- Start date
United States
Phil75070
post-grad
@71Beetle Your joke for the day:
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk.
The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every ten years."
The man agreed and after the first 10 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"Food cold!" the man replied.
Ten more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?"
"Bed hard!" the man exclaimed.
Ten more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"I quit!" said the man.
"Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. All you have done ever since you got here is b!tch, b!tch, b!tch!"
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk.
The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every ten years."
The man agreed and after the first 10 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"Food cold!" the man replied.
Ten more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?"
"Bed hard!" the man exclaimed.
Ten more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"I quit!" said the man.
"Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. All you have done ever since you got here is b!tch, b!tch, b!tch!"
tiredwife
alpha
Two brooms are getting married. Before the ceremony, the bride broom says to the groom broom, "I think I'm going to have a whisk."
The groom broom says, "How can that be? We haven't even swept together!"
The groom broom says, "How can that be? We haven't even swept together!"
Karringtyn
graduate
Hi Lisa! Nice to "meet you"...I have read through your thread and I am in awe of your surgeries only weeks apart....Mine was 5 months ago and I have just been taken out of work yet again...this time for my left knee. Thank you for sharing your journey... 
Phil75070
post-grad
Speaking of monks,
A hungry traveler stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.
A hungry traveler stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.
OP
OP
71Beetle
post-grad
Hi Everyone,
It's a beautiful Saturday morning! I had a good day yesterday but I am paying dearly for it today.
I thought it would be wise to help with the cleaning of the floor tile grout. This is a job that I have been asking to be done since May. It is a big job - kitchen, eating area, back hall, front hall, powder room and laundry room. It was even a paying job. My middle son did a bit but I had to keep nagging him to do it and when it went three days without being touched I fired him. My eldest son was only too happy to take on the job as he is still looking for work but has not found anything. Well the first day he maybe did 3 small sections and whined and complained the entire time. The second day he did maybe one section - he had a job interview and a meeting with the bank that day so could not do much. (He slept until 11:00 am). The third day he did another section because he had to work....at 3:30 pm. Thursday he and my hubby put a pretty solid effort into it and got quite a bit done. Though my hubby did more than three times what my son did. It was agreed that it would all be done by the end of day Friday, the fifth day. It was an aggressive timeline which I was willing to extend if the work was being done aggressively. So Friday came and it was like pulling teeth just to get him started. He could have won an oscar for the theatrics. I became fed up and fired him too. So I have still more than half of the work needing to be completed. The boys still think they should be paid for what they did but I am holding my ground on this one. My husband does handy work in the summer to augment his school bus driving work. He has been out at a job yesterday and today so was unable to help. Anyway, my youngest offered to help and we agreed to do it together. I sat in a chair and leaned over to do the scrubbing. My youngest would rinse and dry and apply the cleaner.
All seemed fine and I had a two hour nap then we had friends over for a fish fry and a game of Euchre. I did not elevate or ice while they were here. Had a lovely evening and went to bed around 11:30 pm. Woke up two hours later in a lot of pain and my knee and the surrounding leg was as swollen and tight as it was the day after the surgery. OOPS. So I elevated and iced and slept in chunks through the night. The swelling has gone down but it is still very tight. Will put the TENS on to see if that helps to.
My best friend is coming over for some pool time and lunch so that will be nice.
Hi @Tamsmom - nice to see you! Thanks for dropping by. How are you doing?
@Karringtyn - welcome to the thread - we are a comedic bunch here. Sorry to hear that your left knee is acting up now. Will you need to get a replacement there as well?
@Phil75070 and @tiredwife - keep the jokes coming! They do make me smile!
Have a great day!
It's a beautiful Saturday morning! I had a good day yesterday but I am paying dearly for it today.
I thought it would be wise to help with the cleaning of the floor tile grout. This is a job that I have been asking to be done since May. It is a big job - kitchen, eating area, back hall, front hall, powder room and laundry room. It was even a paying job. My middle son did a bit but I had to keep nagging him to do it and when it went three days without being touched I fired him. My eldest son was only too happy to take on the job as he is still looking for work but has not found anything. Well the first day he maybe did 3 small sections and whined and complained the entire time. The second day he did maybe one section - he had a job interview and a meeting with the bank that day so could not do much. (He slept until 11:00 am). The third day he did another section because he had to work....at 3:30 pm. Thursday he and my hubby put a pretty solid effort into it and got quite a bit done. Though my hubby did more than three times what my son did. It was agreed that it would all be done by the end of day Friday, the fifth day. It was an aggressive timeline which I was willing to extend if the work was being done aggressively. So Friday came and it was like pulling teeth just to get him started. He could have won an oscar for the theatrics. I became fed up and fired him too. So I have still more than half of the work needing to be completed. The boys still think they should be paid for what they did but I am holding my ground on this one. My husband does handy work in the summer to augment his school bus driving work. He has been out at a job yesterday and today so was unable to help. Anyway, my youngest offered to help and we agreed to do it together. I sat in a chair and leaned over to do the scrubbing. My youngest would rinse and dry and apply the cleaner.
All seemed fine and I had a two hour nap then we had friends over for a fish fry and a game of Euchre. I did not elevate or ice while they were here. Had a lovely evening and went to bed around 11:30 pm. Woke up two hours later in a lot of pain and my knee and the surrounding leg was as swollen and tight as it was the day after the surgery. OOPS. So I elevated and iced and slept in chunks through the night. The swelling has gone down but it is still very tight. Will put the TENS on to see if that helps to.
My best friend is coming over for some pool time and lunch so that will be nice.
Hi @Tamsmom - nice to see you! Thanks for dropping by. How are you doing?
@Karringtyn - welcome to the thread - we are a comedic bunch here. Sorry to hear that your left knee is acting up now. Will you need to get a replacement there as well?
@Phil75070 and @tiredwife - keep the jokes coming! They do make me smile!
Have a great day!
Phil75070
post-grad
Cleaning grout is a grueling job. We've even had a professional come in once and we still weren't satisfied tieh the job he did. Some areas still looked dirty.
My wife found an easier solution. Our grout is not white but a light beige. She got a small bottle of craft paint that closely matches the natural color of the grout and using a small brush she "paints" the grout. Being porous, the paint sinks in and any excess that gets on the tile is easily wiped off as one goes along. The job is soooooo much easier and looks great!
My wife found an easier solution. Our grout is not white but a light beige. She got a small bottle of craft paint that closely matches the natural color of the grout and using a small brush she "paints" the grout. Being porous, the paint sinks in and any excess that gets on the tile is easily wiped off as one goes along. The job is soooooo much easier and looks great!
Phil75070
post-grad
Two old guys, Sam and Harry, meet in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels play and generally solve all the world's problems between them. One day Harry doesn't show up. Sam figures he probably has a doctor's appointment or something, but when a week goes by he starts to get worried that Harry is sick or something. Having only met at the park they never exchanged contact information, how to get in touch with one another other than meeting in the park so he has know way of knowing what happened to his friend.
When a month has gone by Sam figures he has seen the last of Harry only to get to the park he finds Harry sitting on their usual park bench. He asked Harry if he was alright and where he had been for the last month. Harry said, "You know that cute waitress over at the coffee shop? Well she accused me of rape! When I went to court I was so proud to think that someone would see me capable of that at my age that I plead guilty! The judge gave me thirty days for perjury!".
When a month has gone by Sam figures he has seen the last of Harry only to get to the park he finds Harry sitting on their usual park bench. He asked Harry if he was alright and where he had been for the last month. Harry said, "You know that cute waitress over at the coffee shop? Well she accused me of rape! When I went to court I was so proud to think that someone would see me capable of that at my age that I plead guilty! The judge gave me thirty days for perjury!".
OP
OP
71Beetle
post-grad
@Phil75070 - That is a grand idea! I will look into that for next time. My mom has a Shark floor cleaner that she is really pleased with. I tried it on a bit of tile that we had cleaned the grout and it cleaned it even more. Once we have this done, I am hopeful that we will be able to maintain the grout cleanliness this way. My boys previous nanny still cleans our house once a week. She cleans the floors with a mop but uses so much water that it just pools in the grout and stays there. The grout is supposed to be a sand colour but it is black. She does everything else with such care that we do not want to offend her by complaining. A bit late now after 15 year anyway. So we will buy the Shark cleaner and have the boys do it as part of their chores or have her do it...once the grout is clean.
So we will buy the Shark cleaner and have the boys do it as part of their chores or have her do it...once the grout is clean.
tiredwife
alpha
@71Beetle I have tile kitchen counters and bought that grout bully stuff they advertise - don't bother, expensive and doesn't work. When I strub the counter it just rolls off. For that tile now and the tile on the bathroom floors I just mix some bleach water in a spray bottle spray the grout, let it sit a little while and mop it off, my counter tile has white grout and the floor tile grout is tan. It works for both. You might want to seal your grout with grout sealer as that helps it stay clean longer, it keeps stuff from soaking into the grout (but don't seal it until it is completely clean. LOL You could have worked your legs doing floor slides with scrub brushes tied on the bottom of your shoes!
tiredwife
alpha
Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.
Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."
Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."
Karringtyn
graduate
I see that it's a funny bunch here. Yes, the plan is to go in and see what it looks like in the inside and go through the insurance formality....but I am going to go along with it and then I will most likely have replacement in fall.....
tiredwife
alpha
@Karringtyn It's all Lisa's fault, she encourages us! Best of luck with your upcoming procedures.
OP
OP
71Beetle
post-grad
Now that would have been quicker! And the boys may have actually finished it!
@Karringtyn - good luck with the Orthoscopic surgery.
dogwheels
post-grad
Queen Elizabeth II and Dolly Parton die on the same day and both go before an angel to find out if they will be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately there is only one space available on that day so the angel asks Dolly Parton if there is a particular reason why she should be allowed into Heaven. Dolly removes her top and says, 'Look at these, they are the most perfect breasts that God ever created and I am sure it will please Him to see these every day, for Eternity. The angel thanks Dolly and turns to Her Majesty and asks the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier water out of her purse and drinks it down. She then pees in a toilet and pulls the handle.
The angel says, 'OK your Majesty, you may go in'. Dolly is outraged and asks' 'What was all that about? I show you two of Gods own most perfect creations and you turn me down. She pees in a toilet and gets in. What's it all about?'
The angel replies, 'Sorry Dolly, but even here in heaven, a Royal Flush beats a Pair, no matter how big they are.
XX
The angel says, 'OK your Majesty, you may go in'. Dolly is outraged and asks' 'What was all that about? I show you two of Gods own most perfect creations and you turn me down. She pees in a toilet and gets in. What's it all about?'
The angel replies, 'Sorry Dolly, but even here in heaven, a Royal Flush beats a Pair, no matter how big they are.
XX
tiredwife
alpha
Phil75070
post-grad
Adam, an elderly man was seated in the doctor's waiting room. When he was called in to see the doctor, Adam slowly got up, and, grasping his cane and hunching over, slowly made his way into the examining room.
After only a few minutes, Adam emerged from the room, walking completely upright. Paul, another patient who had watched him hobble into the room all hunched over, stared in amazement. 'That must be a miracle doctor in there.' he exclaimed. 'What treatment did he give you? What's his secret?'
Adam stared at Paul and said, 'Well, the doctor looked me up and down, analyzed the situation, and gave me a cane that was four inches longer than the one I had been using.'
After only a few minutes, Adam emerged from the room, walking completely upright. Paul, another patient who had watched him hobble into the room all hunched over, stared in amazement. 'That must be a miracle doctor in there.' he exclaimed. 'What treatment did he give you? What's his secret?'
Adam stared at Paul and said, 'Well, the doctor looked me up and down, analyzed the situation, and gave me a cane that was four inches longer than the one I had been using.'
tiredwife
alpha
@Phil75070 Good one but I think @dogwheels got us that time!
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