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TKR Adnil checking in....

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BJ,
You are special! Very, very special!
Linda,
Awwww, birthdays/milestones are so tough. I'm glad that you have you little sweetie to give you some giggles and paw you when you need it most.

Love to you both!!!!
 
Linda and BJ (((HUGS)))). Now that I am back at work, I can't read ALL the posts like I could when I was laid up healing so I am sorry for this delayed response!
Linda, I am glad to read that you will be returning to family. We are here for you.
BJ, I am sorry for what you are going through. I so agree with the post stating 'his loss'. To repeat this often used phrase; "That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger." You will get through this, I know. It might not be easy, but you will heal, just as your knee is healing. We are here for you.
Both of you, please remember that you are just about 8-9 weeks post-op and still need to be pampering yourselves.
(((((HUGS)))))))))
 
Linda....I'm not good with words but I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I admire your strength.
BJ.....many, many, years ago I went thru a similar divorce situation. His niceness didn't fit with the divorce action and confused me emotionally. Finally, I realized he was being nice to ease his guilty feelings. He didn't care as I thought, he was just trying to make himself feel better. As others have pointed out, you are a strong woman. Don't let his actions confuse you. Go forward with strength in knowing your future will bring great things for you to enjoy!
 
Thanks so much Lynne! I will do this, and you are right his niceness just doesn't fit and definitely confuses me emotionally, and I need to not just look at that small piece. I must look at the whole picture of who he is and has been. I will have a bright future, it is just soooo hard going through this, and harder yet tacked on the tail of knee replacement surgery and recovery.
 
Janet my mother too suffered from dementia brought on by severe depression after my father died. She just never got over his death and mourned him every day. I remember the sadness of her not knowing who I was at the very end. But I knew who she was and I was there for her just as you were there for your mom. I think thats part of the reason that I have such determination to not implode like she did. I am blessed that I have so many happy memories and that the very last words he heard were that I loved him and pleasant dreams. And you know what, you are so right and I'll remember what you said that it is just 'stuff' at the end of the day isn't it. The memories come with me. I love the picture idea.

Today was another first. I filled out the doctors form and there was a place for 'marital status', I realized I am no longer married I'm now a widow. The word just sat there on the page looking foreign, like it didn't belong to me but there it was.
My new doctor seems very nice. He's older and has a very calm demeanor about him. I managed to get thru the entire visit without crying once so I was pretty darn proud of myself.
BJ You'll go thru that too so when you do just think of me and I'll give you the strength to just write it quickly then move on to the next question. Do I write 'single' ? I don't know. Is there a protocol ?
Well a bright spot was my 11 yr old grandson calling to say hi and see if we're still on for our trip back to the Island. ( with our little Buddy.) I assured him we're still on and we wouldn't think of going with out the Budster. after chatting for a while I said that I would be available next year to volunteer at his school. He was so happy and said that his teachers were always asking for volunteers and now he can put his hand up and say 'my grandma will help out if she can, I'll ask her'. I was so happy just to hear that.

I will be off to bed now, Bud's curled up and it's time. What a great group we are, I'm sure that your support and words of wisdom are what's helping me get thru this part of my life. Our knees brought us together but our hearts keep us going. ( omg even I had to smile at that one, time to turn out the light....)
love and (((((((((hugs)))))))))) to all
Linda
 
How are you doing? I thought I would drop by and see if the fog is starting to clear. The loss is very great and just the shock takes time to accept it. You are in my prayer and each day, each moment I know its a struggle but in your own time you will find that you will have a moment of peace. then more. In your time and pace. Please be very kind to yourself and go slow. Take care. :puppysmooze:Tashia:console2:
 
Linda, re: Moms with dementia; yes, it became enough that she knew someone cared enough to be there, even if she didn't know it was her daughter. She once introduced me to my dad as a friend she had known for a long, long time and she was smiling. That made me happy.

Grandchildren, what would we do without them? They are like a lifeline for our hearts!
 
Linda, I am so very sorry for your loss. I too have lost a husband, as well as a son. Praying for you and your family. I am sure he is up there cheering you on!
 
Linda,

I just read your thread and wanted to say how sorry I also am to hear of your husbands passing and that you, he and your family will be in my prayers.

xoxo,
Linda.
 
Here's some happy news. Tonight I went swimming for the first time since the knee op. as we were getting ready to go I suddenly had a mini panic attack and started to worry would I be able to climb down the ladder backwards into the pool. There is no other way in I was told. So I worried and ended up almost not going. Well, long story short. I approached the silver bars, turned around and proceeded to ........climb down with not an ounce of pain. Then it hit me, I was worried for my old knee pain. New knee was just fine, :SUNsmile:......I was so happy. I took it easy and worked out very slowly, considering I had also had a busy day shopping and doing lots of walking. My hubby would be sooo proud of me. I'm so proud of me.
Tomorrow as a reward I will ice, elevate and relax. tonight painkillers because it's already starting to complain. Anyway, thought I would share some happiness.....makes for a nice change...((((((hugs))))))
 
Good for you Adnil!!
We are all proud of you!
 
That's for sure Janet. When we get home to the Island I won't be able bury myself in work as I pack up the house because now and then my Grandson will want to go to the beach and do fun 'stuff'. I couldn't deny him that so I'm looking forward to it.
I went swimming last night and was so happy I accidently wrote about it under the 'sad news' thread instead of this one, but the gist of it is hang in there because great knee things are just around the corner....(((((hugs))))) Linda
 
adnil said:
Here's some happy news. Tonight I went swimming for the first time since the knee op. as we were getting ready to go I suddenly had a mini panic attack and started to worry would I be able to climb down the ladder backwards into the pool. There is no other way in I was told. So I worried and ended up almost not going. Well, long story short. I approached the silver bars, turned around and proceeded to ........climb down with not an ounce of pain. Then it hit me, I was worried for my old knee pain. New knee was just fine, :SUNsmile:......I was so happy. I took it easy and worked out very slowly, considering I had also had a busy day shopping and doing lots of walking. My hubby would be sooo proud of me. I'm so proud of me.
Tomorrow as a reward I will ice, elevate and relax. tonight painkillers because it's already starting to complain. Anyway, thought I would share some happiness.....makes for a nice change...((((((hugs))))))
Click to expand...
Hi Adnil, The first time I had to deal with the 'fill in the blank' widow after my husband passed away was something I will never forget. I ran that word through my mind and when the reality of 'widow' hit me I completely broke down and sobbed and sobbed. Yep, right there in that office. Everyone was kind but I imagine when I left they talked about the crazy lady! But you know what, I allowed myself to be crazy for awhile. I cried in inappropriate places, made decisions not everyone would agree with and just kept on going. You don't always have to be strong for everyone else. Let them take care of you a bit. Oh, and I packed up and moved closer to my family and it was the best thing I could have done. I've never looked back at that decision. As you get through each day remind yourself how well you are doing and think about how proud your husband is of you. I still do this every day and it helps. My prayers are with you that each day, week , month you realize it eases up some because it does :) And here is to Happy Knees! Patti
 
Oh Linda, I am glad to hear that you did go swimming and did not let that anxiety stop you. I am sure that your hubby would be proud of you. Keep up the good work, swimming, resting, icing, elevating... (((hugs)))
 
Patti, after a very hard night I woke up to your message. You have no idea how much I needed to hear those words. Yes I can and will go on. My husband would want me to be happy above all else. So, today is a new day.
BJ I'm so glad I didn't give into the anxiety either. There was a time I would have not taken the chance. My biggest surprise tho was that my knee didn't give so much as a whimper the next day. I kept waiting for the swelling to flare up but it behaved perfectly. Feels pretty good, I remember when my husband and I were thrilled that I could raise my leg off the mattress about 2 inches so I can imagine the look on his face as I climbed into the pool backwards. :)
And thank you to Ricbak1 and Pegleg for the encouraging words. I'm so glad this was my first stop after waking up.
Have a great day everyone.
((((((hugs)))))))) Linda
 
Linda, I am so sorry about your husband. We are here for you whenever you need to talk. Hugs to you and your family.
 
To do something and realize that your husband would have been cheering and so proud! Wow, what a feeling you must have had! :yay:
 
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