Hemi-Arthroplasty Zauberflote's Mom, Dementia & Hip Replacement

[zauberflöte]

@Elf1 thank you! I am certainly taking advantage of the 24/7 carers while we have them. Been sleeping better and have even done some walking at night. Contemplating taking a Barre class tomorrow evening!

@Mojo333 I am SO sorry about your dad. You must be suffering right along with him. And frazzled beyond belief. "Is not about his new assisted living"? What am I missing?
And does he regain his health each time? Hospitals are not hospitable places except for bacteria. I was So Glad Mom got a private room on the ortho ward instead of a dingy double next to a poor old lady who was, with her son's help, trying to hide her upcoming cancer surgery from her out-of-town husband.

Mom Hip Report: I got there about 2:30, with a grocery bag overflowing with snacks, and prepared to stream a recent Glyndebourne Opera production of.... Die Zauberflöte!!! Her hospice&me planned pain med schedule had been implemented (yay!), she'd eaten well at breakfast and lunch (yay!), was sitting up high on her wedge system, wide awake. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed would be a good description. She even used non-mean ironic sarcasm correctly on something that she would have pre-dementia
-decline. Sarcastic irony?
Clear wide open eyes, good smile-muscle tone in face, all so good to see and hear about. She ate the bigger half of a banana in about 5 bites. She is very hard to convince to snack! Child of the Depression....
PT news-- bro is not going to throw any more time and brain power at trying to work with hospice on appropriate PT. So, we'll work with a guy I mentioned somewhere above, and hope to start next week!
Hospice nurse had been by and had a glowing report for me by text later. I think she changed the dressing again too. Staples have to come out next week. I don't want to be there! I know they're faster than sutures, but please, this is my mommy you're working on, Dr OS!
Today is Day 8! Wow!!!

I am debating if we should skip the followup at 3 weeks. If it's got a bad xray, we're not going to do anything anyway, and hospice will let us know if there's fever (infection). Mom won't be walking well, and won't ride a wheelchair, and all in all it would be a huge day of trauma that no amount of ice cream on the way back to her place could salvage for me. Trauma got old along about last Thursday. I think this is an "enough is enough" situation. Can anybody see flaws in my thinking? Things I've missed?

Dementia report: it is likely that the current caregiver, plus that wonderful feminine urine-wicking system in the hospital, have taught her incontinence. UGH! I believe that dementia responds to that old "good day bad day" recovery thing that we all have done. We did stream the opera after much faffing about (did I use that right, Team UK?) with my computer not even registering the bluetooth speaker so having to start all over on my phone. We heard act I. Mom dozed or blissed out for most of it. Sleep is good for the recovering hip! Act II tomorrow, I hope. I'm watching along on my phone and it's a fabulous production, with some nice voices.
Good night all!

 

[Jamie]

I see you made your Amazon purchase using smile.amazon....thank you!!!

Your mom reminds me of my mother in her later years. She was so tiny and frail. God bless you and your brother for the fantastic care you are giving her. There is a special place in heaven for caregivers.

I think your idea about skipping the next update appointment is a good one. The goal under hospice is to make the person as happy and comfortable as possible. Trucking to a doctor's office, getting manhandled to get examined and have xrays taken....why? As long as she's reasonably out of pain and enjoying food, I'd say she should stay put.

 

[Mojo333]

Definitely hard to see my Dad feeling deposed and questioning his relevance.

I was So Glad Mom got a private room on the ortho ward instead of a dingy double next to a poor old lady who was, with her son's help, trying to hide her upcoming cancer surgery from her out-of-town husband.

the things you learn...

Clear wide open eyes, good smile-muscle tone in face, all so good to see and hear about.

Love to hear this

We did stream the opera after much faffing about (did I use that right, Team UK?) with my computer not even registering the bluetooth speaker so having to start all over on my phone. We heard act I. Mom dozed or blissed out for most of it.

Your low brow hippy pal would be right there with Mom

 

[zauberflöte]

@Mojo333 I think you would enjoy this comedy. It's very visual, and opera is no longer about fat ladies standing still and warbling. Most of them have rigorous gym workouts to be in shape for the physical demands that are now made on them. If you ever get a chance to watch Pretty Yende, she is an absolutely brilliant physical/slapstick comedian as the role may demand, and she don't sing half-bad either.

 

[Mojo333]

Will definitely check it out.
I'm open minded..

About to google it.

Hope you get some rest my friend.

 

[Layla]

It sounds like things are a bit more calm and falling into place. It's good to hear your mom was sitting up, eating and smiling. I'm sure this is all comforting. Please take care of yourself.
@zauberflöte

 

[zauberflöte]

Thank you @Layla !

 

[Jaycey]

I have to agree with Jamie on the followup appointment. Unless your Mom has an issue with the hip there is really no reason for the visit - box ticking.

Dementia - I hate it! It robs you of the parent you know and taunts the person your Mom is in reality. You are doing all the right things trying to get her back to the "normal" she knows.

 

[zauberflöte]

@Jamie I'm so sorry! I didn't see your post until @Jaycey mentioned it. I am on my phone, and the forum setup sometimes doesn't take me to "last read". I definitely agree with you re the followup. And ...um... don't thank me for my Amazon Smile-- I support the Salvation Army right now. I dunno, homeless addicts seem more in need than ortho research, and please please don't take that in the wrong way!

Jaycey, I am definitely an outlier on the topic of "Give Me Back My Mother Right Now". I agree strongly that she can get disturbed when the words can't come, but as she has anosognosia, she's unable to know she has a disease. The only way she's able to know that she is recovering from a hip surgery is that since she's out of the hospital, there is no cue that she's "not well". Mom's "self" is so far still there, unless she is restrained. Well, hmmm. She's restrained now, and it's not so far disturbing her. We have yet to see major personality changes. She is, ordinarily, still the same gentle, serene spirit she always has been. Facility caregivers love her for her sweetness. Two have commented to me that when they go in her room they feel calmer, they feel "good vibes", and one went to far as to say she didn't feel she was at FacilityName in Mom's room. That is My Real Mom in there! Even if she doesn't always call me by name, even if it's a mumbling non-speech (when she tries to express deep ideas) hour, I look into my mother's face and see...my mother, Beloved of God.
Enough dementia! One of you two is going to have to chastise me if I don't watch it....

 

[zauberflöte]

Hip report: i didn't see Mom today because my cat disagreed with my combing his arthritic hip. My hand got in the way of his one remaining tooth....another story for another day. Upshot, no report to animal control, amoxy-clav for me.

7-3 carer said Mom Sat In Chair And Was Happy!!!
Then the air-handler became clogged with food by-product. The exec director of the facility, who is very new and under horrible stress bc the place is on probation by the state inspection, State was there while we were in hospital, and corporate was there all day yesterday, anyway she took it upon herself to go visit Mom-in-chair. She told carer she was forbidden to get Mom out of bed (???????), and hours this afternoon were spent on phone calls trying to sort things out to somebody's satisfaction. Exec of course is all about liability, as she should be. However, she doesn't get to speak directly to outside carers about care orders that came from family! She should take her concerns to carer's bosses, the business owner and the DON (an actual RN thank goodness). It took most of the afternoon to make a "good enough for Friday afternoon" situation. This woman is so like me in so many unattractive ways that I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude that my long-suffering husband chose to stick by me! I will try to do better, promise!

 

[CricketHip]

Good heavens, now the cat got into the act?
Your mother is so tiny.. I'm so glad she is able to sit up some.. by the way, I have that exact same cushion ensemble.. bought it back before my first THR and still loving it.
Take care of yourself, you and your brother are taking good care of her.

 

[Jamie]

And ...um... don't thank me for my Amazon Smile-- I support the Salvation Army right now. I dunno, homeless addicts seem more in need than ortho research, and please please don't take that in the wrong way!

You mean there are other charities in Amazon Smile besides BoneSmart????? Say it isn't so!!! Of course you're forgiven for supporting another organization. There are so many groups in need that do great work. We know you love us too.

 

[zauberflöte]

@Jamie you are too funny!

@CricketHip i wish you could have seen the jury-rigged contraptions I made up to render a chair and couch comfortable. I am constitutionally unable to be in bed except at night! My recovery central for #1 was in a large airy sunroom, which had the tv in it, and was the longest walk from the bathroom available. Also the happiest room in the house from all that sunshine.
#2 I set up (different house) the same couch for "intentional naps" in the living room, and the glass-door porch-from-heaven had the old chair (which was too big to fit through any exterior doors! )and the tv. Second recovery was so fast and so not-fatigued that I never watched tv! I went up to my studio/practise room/office/disaster zone and played my flute and kept up with household admin stuff. Had to keep in shape for my mother-in-law's memorial service in week 5 of recovery. And yes, I checked with OS about flying, and they said so long as I hadn't run into any problems it would be ok, as it's a short 80-min flight. Things went well.
that hip #2 went so well that I was doing housework very early on. I knew everybody would lecture me so I don't think I mentioned much of what I was up to on here!

 

[Mojo333]

say what?

I do remember you losing your MIL and worrying for your travel.
Life does still happen while we are recovering.
How do we do it?
Best we can.
Hope mom is resting well.

 

[Layla]

Hi I hope mom is having a good day. Prayers for her strength and healing.
Wishing you a peaceful relaxing evening and Sunday.
@zauberflöte

 

[zauberflöte]

Thank you @Layla ! I'm afraid to write just now, I've already dumped on my brother and the hospice on-call nurse enough! Don't know what kind of a day she had until I got there, but it went downhill from that minute. Dementia+pain patient can't articulate+anxiety is not a good combo.

 

[Layla]

I'm sorry.

 

[Jaycey]

Dementia+pain patient can't articulate+anxiety is not a good combo.

So sorry! Hope things have calmed down.

 

[zauberflöte]

Thank you @Layla and @Jaycey , you comfort me. I didn't go today, in the end. PT starts tomorrow so I'll be there then.

The difficult "dementia process" of a burning-out offspring saying, "good enough is good enough" (a quote from my dementia forum) is beginning. I cannot control whether the caregivers use that lovely wedge system correctly or at all. I cannot prevent Mom's facility exec from making a rule that Mom shall only walk accompanied, even though we have emailed her that we have no plans to sue over any falls at all. Etc. Many prayers are being prayed!

 

[Jaycey]

good enough is good enough

I like this. Yes you can't control it all. But I'm afraid that doesn't prevent the worrying.

Please let us know how PT goes. You are in my thoughts!