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[HEMI-ARTHROPLASTY] Zauberflote's Mom, Dementia & Hip Replacement

Discussion in 'Hip Replacement Recovery Area' started by zauberflöte, Jul 31, 2019.

  1. zauberflöte

    zauberflöte alpha
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    Thank you @Jaycey :) :-) (::) :-) (:

    I have a great support system, but as you say, stopping the worrying is difficult. It is, however, my "marching orders" that I shall not be anxious.

    I am looking forward to seeing what the PT says. He is also a Doctor of Physical Therapy, AND an Orthopedic Clinical Specialist-- which is one I'd never heard of. I do believe I may use him for my own "problems" caused by my own various stupidities after each hip!! Perhaps he's the way out of the ODIC!! :idea:
     
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  2. Layla

    Layla FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Good Afternoon, @zauberflöte
    Prayers you can keep the anxiety in check. Tall order.
    Wishing you peace and mom comfort.
    Hope today is a good day!
     
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  3. Jamie

    Jamie ADMINISTRATOR Administrator

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    So sorry to hear that your challenges have increased. Dementia is so difficult on family. My heart goes out to you, but I think your mantra is a good one to keep at the front of your thoughts all the time. You can only do what you can do without putting yourself on a downward spiral. As you know, any caregiving is tough work and for a person suffering with dementia....well, it just multiplies heaps and bounds. Hopefully things will settle into some type of routine for the staff and your mother. Right now, the best you can do is just take one day at a time and count your blessings for any good moments that pop up now and then.
     
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    Last edited: Aug 12, 2019
  4. zauberflöte

    zauberflöte alpha
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    Thank you from the bottom of my heart :loveshwr:

    PT rescheduled. Mom was having a very bad morning and we finally found out why. She was allowed off the bed to use the commode, and voila! The plumbing was returned to its happy state. It had been SEVEN days. I'm sure if she'd been allowed up more, she might not have waited that long. Hospice RN visited and noted the redness of the incision, but there's no fever and all vitals are excellent so we won't jump on that yet. We got the sennakote stool treatment back in her regimen On Schedule rather than PRN. I had thought she already had that! Recovery pain appears to be growing less.

    One wonders if one has chosen this surgery for one's mother so that Mom may live an even longer, healthier miserable life. I'm not terribly fond of dementia just at this moment. If it would please "take my "real" mom away", that would be easier. But her spirit shines through loud and clear.

    I ought to start a thread about GA and improvement in (any?) patient's cognition. Mom's memory has improved since the hospital. What was in that IV cocktail, eh? Or was it the three bags of IV potassium? (given with another solution which we can only hope was a buffering agent. I was later told that IV potassium is painful. ) Today she spontaneously recalled that the bus excursion she'd been on from a cruise ship, ended up in Canada! And tried to describe the entertainment to us. That cruise was 2009, she was 80, had just graduated (with honors) from college with her second Bachelor's degree, and was dithering about grad school!!!! That's-a my mom, folks! :roseshwr::flwrysmile:
     
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  5. zauberflöte

    zauberflöte alpha
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    52FF6570-C20C-4BBB-9E8B-9D4EFBD0A22C.png Testing to see if the firewall error occurs again after phone update.
     
  6. CricketHip

    CricketHip FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Oh gosh, what highs and lows! But a successful BM!
    Caring for my mom and now my mother in law are some of the hardest times in my memory.
    My husband and I try very hard to be supportive and to stay united in decisions. The same was true when working with my sister.
    But my goodness, not all decisions and not all days are even remotely easy. Hugs to you and your sweet mother. :friends:
     
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  7. Jamie

    Jamie ADMINISTRATOR Administrator

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    I love those stories about your Mom! My own sweet mother had dementia and lived 9 months in a very caring environment at an assisted living facility until she died. For the most part she had wonderful caregivers that allowed me to come by and just be with her each day for a few hours. Her spirit burned strong until the very end and I agree that makes the dementia and the wasting away that comes along with it harder to take. I can remember driving the 10 minutes from her apartment to my house and just screaming in the car to myself, to God and to anyone else who might have been able to hear me about the unfairness of it all. Sometimes that screaming at the top of my lungs (I kept the windows rolled up) was all that got me through the stress of that time.

    You have to find the happy balances between the good and bad. And you must fight the guilt for not being there all the time as caregiver. Most parents (maybe all of them) wouldn't want their beautiful child to totally give up their life to become a 24/7 caregiver for them. If you can find reasonably good care and they can uncover a few things your mom enjoys doing (my mom loved watching old movies with the daughter of a friend of mine I hired to sit with her several days a week), then I think you've struck gold.

    One of the most fun things I saw my mom do in those last months was flirting with an elderly retired dentist who lived in the same facility. They were both in their late 80's and both had dementia. I'd go have dinner with her most evenings and he was at the same table. Mom always had gorgeous red painted nails and as she'd take a bite of food, she'd catch his eye and then kind of wiggly-wave her pinky finger at him with a flirty grin. It was so precious and a side of her I'd never seen. Savor memories like that. They are precious.
     
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  8. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    Gosh, what a roller coaster ride! It's nice to see things are settling for your Mom. Having quality time after all the chaos of the hospital is a blessing. Sounds like she is doing very well!
     
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  9. zauberflöte

    zauberflöte alpha
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    2CF3D1EB-3B86-419F-AF28-E7CADFF176CC.jpeg @CricketHip Carol, yes, I know what you mean. Are/were these sweet ladies in your home? I've already been part of the care team for hubby's mother, who was able to stay in her home with 24/7 care, and a child or child-in-law, or a whole family of grands visiting every day of the week. I thought she had dementia! No, due to the consistent loving care at home, she was only nearly deaf, nearly blind, and very very forgetful. My heart goes out to you for doing this back-to-back-to-back.

    @Jamie I wish I'd met your mom! That's such an enchanting memory of the pinky wiggly wave! Where Mom is is good enough, and all the rank and file love her to bits as she is sweet and gentle of manner. Most of our frustrations come when her long-ago stated wishes come into conflict with the Memory Care facility's great need to get itself off probation. Ain't we got fun! The activities director is a middle-aged guy, and he does the "flirting" thing with her a little. He told my brother recently that he works extra hard to be a gentleman when around her (a "Virginia Gentleman", which type is becoming rarer). Squiring her around, etc. There was a younger male nurse who did the same. She's a one-man woman, though. My father would be a hard act to follow!
    Your screaming fits make me hurt for you! I wish I could scream without sending myself into paroxysms of asthmatic coughing. All my screaming happens in other body systems I guess.
    Thank you for your support and encouragement, @Jaycey ! We are going to try PT again tomorrow. I didn't go there today to visit. Spent quite some time with emails, all to do with conflicting views of "what's best for Mom". One person says she'll get better faster lying flat in bed for a few weeks, blahblahblah. So, hoping PT will write a firm order that includes sitting up in chair for hours, using commode as tolerated (she is such a LADY about these things! Must be her generation!), and I expect I'll visit daily to attempt some gentle exercises with her, assuming cooperation! We'll see how it goes.
     
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  10. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    Gosh, I really don't think just lying in bed for weeks is good for your Mom. I would think she needs to stay mobile. Hope PT can encourage that. Let us know how it goes.
     
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  11. Layla

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  12. zauberflöte

    zauberflöte alpha
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    Aaaannnnd (drumroll please) ... PT wrote that firm order and then some! Mom was already up in the chair when I arrived. PT arrived a bit early, and you could see his mind whirring as he assessed the room and furniture. He has a good manner (I asked later; he has had personal experience with dementia), kind eyes and voice, and Mom was either showing off or really happy to be moving around. Or both. :curtsey:

    He did ROM with both hips, and the new one appeared about 75% better! I don't know whether she was having a stiff moment as she had so many of with her arms in the hospital, or what, but he chuckled at the difference between the original and bionic.
    They went up and down from chair, bed, commode. He lowered the commode about 6 inches-- I hadn't known it, but her feet weren't even touching the floor! He suggested that, for her comfort and ease of mind, we move the furniture back to its original places. He suggested a hospital grade bed rail which she could grab and pull as she did the situp she does to get out of bed. We'll see on that one, but our friend Amazon has a good one.

    She has a written order to walk (with walker and helper) to her chair at least once a day and stay there as long as she likes; to use the commode as needed. I guess that was the gist. I am so glad she was able to move around. Her endorphins probably skyrocketed from the exercise. Speaking of exercise, all the transferring is her exercise. He set goals of transferring to commode with verbal cues at 3 weeks and to bathroom at 6. Not sure that will exactly quite come to pass, as she may feel less safe with other smaller people who are less sure of her.

    Then we had to talk about how she was going to leave, and if I had no car she'd hire a taxi. She is in that stage where even if she were in a home she'd spent 65 years in, she'd still want to leave. But all in all, a good morning.
     
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  13. zauberflöte

    zauberflöte alpha
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    Oh I agree with you 100%!! I was talking with her old Personal Trainer, who is also a PTA, about that last night. Her final text on the subject was, "That is so bad for her! She could get contractures!!!! OMG DON'T EVEN LET ME GET STARTED ON HOW BAD THAT IS!!!!" Think she had some strong feelings about Mom's care??
     
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  14. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    Wow - a great result with PT. So glad they have your Mom up and moving about. So much better for her! And the little things like adjusting the furniture and the height of the commode - so important. Sounds like you have a gem there! It must be a great relief for you.
     
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  15. Mojo333

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    So good to hear what sounds like very positive movement in your mom's recovery.
    Hope your mind is easing some, dear friend.
    Thinking of you.
     
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  16. zauberflöte

    zauberflöte alpha
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    @Jaycey you are so right-- this guy is a keeper. In addition, he is certified as an Orthopedic Clinical Specialist. I may visit him myself!

    @Mojo333 we felt it was extremely positive! I don't think there's a snowball's chance in Gehenna that management will feel any more comfortable, but we take what we can get!
     
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  17. zauberflöte

    zauberflöte alpha
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    Two bad days in a row. Yesterday Mom put out her all for the PT, and walked quite a ways down the hall before fatigue set in. I was trailing with the wheelchair, and she and I continued out to the courtyard. She had had a very stressful morning before I even arrived, hadn't eaten, and now was tuckered out. We sat and enjoyed the breeze from the fans, bro showed up, I went for ice cream for Mom. She had a tiny bite or so, and around 4:30 I left them. When a person with dementia does the usual post-op mood swings, they don't mess around. So today, she was in a fair amount of pain (crying out loudly pain), on waking. There was a kerfuffle about "sorry she refused her pain med while she was asleep so we can't give it to her now because we have laws and rules". Hospice sorted that out right smartly, and the meds were given.
    We spent most of the rest of the day with her in her chair, demonstrating graphically what happens to a posterior approach when the 90 degree and no cross over midline cautions are not followed. Her leg is turning in, and does not want to abduct. Grrrrr. I was too busy trying to understand her quiet murmurings about things deep in her heart to teach the carer how to use The special pillow I'd bought. I left, a wreck.
     
  18. Jamie

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    My heart aches for you. I know this is so tough. I wish I had some magic words that would soothe you and make you smile. All I can say is what a blessing of a daughter your are and I hope you get a few happy memories during this time to pack away for later. Sending (((((HUGS))))).
     
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  19. Mojo333

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    My heart aches for you, Zaub.:sad:
    I know you have to be physically and mentally spent.
    I do hope today is a better day.
     
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  20. Layla

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    So sad. :console2: Prayers for brighter days :prayer:
    I hope today is a good one.
    @zauberflöte
     
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