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Bilateral THR Twice as Nice - JennyLynne's recovery

That’s amazing! Good to know how solid they really are.
I’ve had to lead with my newly operated leg on stairs because my other knee needs replacing.. but it’s felt good & solid from the start! Has anyone got a good leg????
Hope you get to a baseball game.. I’ve a fold up deckchair with a fairly high, robust seat on which I put a cushion to watch my grandson play football.. it’s great... !!
Have a great weekend!


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So... my husband has been taking ridiculously long to run errands- 2.5 hours at Target, 1.5 at grocery. I’ve been trying to be patient.

I just found out why... HE HAS BEEN SNEAKING NAPS IN THE CAR!

shaking my head... not even mad. It’s kind of smart. But also... come on, man?!?!?!


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Why is hubs so tired, Jenny?
Is it solely from going to work then taking care of your son afterward?
Or is it more of an escape from the house? I know my hubs needed a break after a couple weeks and that was aside from going to work. We don't have kids at home any longer though either and I only had one hip replaced. It has to be hard on both of you. I'm biased though, I'm on your side as a woman and as someone who's experienced THR, but certainly not to the degree you have. I hope things start falling into place for you all as a family soon.
Hugs
@JennyLynne
 
@Layla he’s used to a lot of freedom in his schedule. He works less hours than me and I do all the shopping and cooking, etc plus just organize everyone’s schedules and such. And now he has to do a lot of it. Personally I think he’s being very dramatic... but I’m trying to be understanding


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I think men are not used to full on time with kids, chores, etc plus work.. It’s always or nearly always a woman’s role...
If my hubby goes shopping he always goes for a take away coffee & sits by the sea... his escape!
Women are from Venus.... etc [emoji23][emoji23]



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To be fair, we chug along in life doing things one way and then suddenly change the rules so to speak. I think a bit of understanding is warranted but personally I would expect my husband to step up with willingness. I try to ignore the times when my hubby doesn't quite meet my expectations because to be honest, I am not sure I could cope with any unrest/arguing in the house right now. Also, I am not sure when we discuss recovery time with our spouses that it really sinks in. They revert to children not having any concept of time and figuring you really meant 4 days, not 4 months :heehee:
 
I really am trying!!! I swear! It’s a matter of priorities- do the “have to” first and hope for the “get to”.

He’s playing squash for 2 hours right now... so there’s certainly some “get to” in his life! Oh, and golf tomorrow.

But CarrieMay- you hit on something. I think he sees me moving around better and thinks we are at the tail end. HAHAHAHAHA.... nope!


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Shake a cane at him :old:
You're the tired injured party here who's just been through major surgery.
You're not even three weeks post op from having your flesh cut on each leg and power tools used to replace your worn out natural body parts.
Put your computer where he hangs out most often with a continuous loop running of a live THR :heehee:
Wishing you comfort and the help and rest you need for today. :console2:
@JennyLynne
 
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@JennyLynne I’m having the exact same struggle with my husband right now! Although we’ve just gotten started with this whole process. Yesterday he already displayed a little attitude about all the tasks he has to do. Well I say, welcome to my daily life pre-surgery!

I am also trying to be understanding. But sometimes it gets so hard. Last night he couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed and help me with my middle of the night medicine. And it’s only the first night! Granted, he has an added layer of difficulty with the baby. And he’s been trying really hard most of the time. I agree with @Hoppy Nanny that men just aren’t used to taking on all the household tasks. And I guess it’s our fault for not pushing harder to have them share the load. Your husband deserves a break the same way we do when we’re the primary caregiver. But you and I would probably never dare to sneak naps in the car - and that’s where it gets frustrating.

I also agree with @Carriemay60 that I don’t really want to get into an argument right now. So I’m just going to be grateful for the many things he will do and try to let slide the times when he’s a little more selfish. We can’t always be perfect and I’m lucky to have his help through all of this. I’m guessing he never expected he’d be taking care of his 42-year-old wife!
 
My hubby is 67 & I had to show him how to use the washing machine prior to op... he’d forgotten since my last op 6 years ago!!!
It’s weird really as we’ve both always worked full time but he never felt the need to do the washing ...
There is no point in arguing at this time & I don’t suppose you’ve got the energy... might be useful moving forward to educate him... I should’ve started earlier... My hubby has been fab but it gets weary when you have to tell them what to do & when [emoji849][emoji849][emoji8]


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I quickly learned early into my recovery that my husband didn't know where anything was, or where things belonged. Where's the can opener, where are the trash bags, where are the dish towels etc
The back of my recliner faced the kitchen and trying to explain (without turning around) if things were up, down, three drawers to the right, or one cabinet to the left felt like an exercise in futility in my anesthesitized brain fog.
And when I'd catch a glimpse of the kitchen on a bathroom break, I'd want to cry :bawl: every cabinet door flung open, dirty dishes teetering on the edge of the counter. Center island cluttered with a LOT of everything. Aside from that mess, he was very attentive. I really can't complain. It's interesting to see how our partners handle us being out of commission. And visa versa for the guys. Thankfully recovery is only temporary and we all survive.
 
Sheesh, I thought mine was less than helpful ! Think I should count my blessings! And he was an only child with elderly parents, so it seems I trained him up better than I realised! But I suppose also he worked away a lot so became used to looking after himself.And @LAbabymama you're only 42! Doesn't he know about New Man? Thankfully my sons take turns with child rearing, cooking, cleaning etc and it wouldn't occur to them to be any different as their wives/girlfriends work full time.
 
On a brighter note- we just got back from lunch! My son is at a bday party so took advantage of his absence. I DROVE too! Driving was easy, actually more comfortable that before. Sitting at a restaurant- less comfortable. My back hurt more than anything.

But, it was a sunny warm day and we sat outside and it felt wonderful (even if uncomfortable)!

(We got in a little argument before because hubs forgot this was our plan and started making himself a sandwich and such... ugh... it is what it is)


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I have a lot of stories about my husband and his hobbies, fishing, softball, bowling leagues, and I never seemed to be having so much fun, usually watching. lol. But he did change as the kids grew older and I started joining things. Suddenly he wanted to be on a mixed bowling league with me. lol. And he hurt his shoulder and quit softball league. And I grew up fishing, so when the girls were old enough to take in the boat we matched up pretty good. He's also 8 years older than me, going on75. I noticed he's slowed down a lot and has become a very caring companion. Back in our early marriage on the days he was out having fun then and only then, I would plan something for myself to do. WRONG.... Somewhere in my 40s I got smart and waited till I was sure he would be home bored without something to do, that's when I went off for the day and left him sitting alone. I did this a lot... He finally came around. lol. He missed me and wanted to do things together. We laugh a lot about our 45 year marriage and how we ever made it this far. He's even apologized and wishes he could do it over. But the last 15 years he's been a new man, better late than never...lol. As far as women have come it still seems men think they can come and go and do whatever they please, while we ladies spend more time running the household. Hohum.....
 
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