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TKR The journey continues

Yay! I am so happy for you. I can't sing, but I love to listen. I am so glad you are able to do what you love again.


Shelia
RTKR - 8/23/16
LTKR - 10/11/16
 
Thank you, @Josephine it means a lot to me coming from you! I hope I can give back to this forum what it has given to me in support. Soon I wiIl be the caregiver for my friend having a hip replacement. I have learned so much here and hopefully can be a good help to him. BTW I have also discovered on my own that glass bottles filled with water do not freeze well but break - only use plastic.
 
It is so nice to be able to once again, do the things we love to do. I am happy your concert was a success!!
 
Floridagal said:
BTW I have also discovered on my own that glass bottles filled with water do not freeze well but break - only use plastic.
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That reminded me of a neighbour I had many years ago. She saw me putting cartons of milk in the freezer and got really upset that I shouldn't do it. I asked her to explain to be told that if you do, when you try to take them out, the bottle will shatter in your hands! She had, of course, been using glass bottles! :doh:
 
Tomorrow 21 weeks! Today I walked 1.9 mi. with my Nordic Poles. It is so wonderful that our weather has turned cooler. I am very pleased with Lady Mary. My main disability is the back. Next week I see a chiropractor. I am grasping at straws. When I do housework I have to sit and rest the back periodically. Standing in line waiting to vote today was painful - again the back. I didn't take the last Tramadol before the concert since I was driving four other women. I think I was so totally focused on singing that I didn't notice the back or the knee until later. I iced and had a stiff drink when I got home and that made everything fine. I feel very lucky that Lady Mary is doing so well.
 
It sounds like you're doing really well. Getting back to our normal lives is what it is all about!
 
Today I am anxious about the THR on Nov. 10 for my friend. He will be staying with me. Maybe there should be a forum for caregivers! I'm afraid that he will be super crabby and I am a "feeler" and could get my feelings hurt easily. I keep telling myself that I can handle this but worry that it might effect our friendship. I don't think he is aware of how serious this is. He is overweight and out of shape. I doubt he is doing any exercises to get ready. I have to be careful not to say anything or it will have the opposite effect. While I am interested in all aspects of the surgery and want to be totally informed, he just says he has a good OS and he'll take care of everything. BTW we have the same OS and he is good. Perhaps my TKR is clouding some of my reactions to his surgery.
 
FG, you owe it to yourself to have a frank conversation with your friend. Include your concern that surgery might make him feel more crabby and lash out at you. A gentle setting of boundaries and expectations now will save you much heartache, I think. It also sounds like he's using avoidance to cope? Does he attend a preop class? Maybe print out the Bonesmart readings and leave them for him - he may not read them now, but if they are available, he'll probably at least glance at them.

You are an amazing woman to take on the caregiver role so soon. He's lucky to have you. Just remember what they tell us when we get on the plane - "put your own oxygen mask first, before helping others". We are brought up to think that putting ourselves first is selfish, but when it comes to recovery, it's anything but. If we let ourselves get physically or emotionally run down, we won't be able to care for anybody.


Shelia
RTKR - 8/23/16
LTKR - 10/11/16
 
Thank you for your wonderful advice @sheliac. I will do my best to follow it. It would be a lot easier if we were married or had some sort of commitment to each other but we are both strong independent people and wanted it this way. Ugh. I'm even afraid that they might not let me in the hospital but I think those days are gone. I have encouraged him to go to joint camp. He sort of poo-pooed it. I'll keep trying.
 
Goodness, Amy Jo, it sounds like you're going to have your hands full with this man. I agree with Sheila and you should have a frank, tough-love talk with him. Be sure he realizes that you, too, will still be healing!
 
OMG. I sent an email to my friend with my expectations of him and what I had to offer. He replied with a wonderful message that brought tears to my eyes. Note: Being an introvert sometimes email is easier than direct conversation. Thank you for making it happen.
 
I am SO proud of you! I completely understand about the emailing being easier. It is for me, too. I bet you feel so much better now that, that is out in the open!
 
It doesn't matter that you used email. You were able to say what you needed to say and your friend was able to read it and send back the wonderful message you received. That's wonderful.
 
This morning I walked 2.17 miles in about 40 some minutes. That made me very happy at 21 weeks and 2 days. I decided NOT to wash the Chinook RV today. Enough for one day. I don't want to join the odic. I will ice and elevate just in case Lady Mary decides that the walk was too long for her.
 
Wow, what a successful and quick walk. I'm still slow. How's your swelling and pain? I still have some.
 
Wow! That is so wonderful about the walk. Good to know it's possible (I'm still celebrating walking to end of my driveway)

I'm so happy and proud for you being assertive with your friend, and the positive outcome! And having it there in black and white gave him time to process it. You must have done it very assertively and well to get such a positive response! Woot! These TKRs teach us more lessons than we expected, most of them good for life in general, I think. I, too, am an introvert. Learning to set clear boundaries has been a lifelong process for me-- this TKR has reinforced every lesson I've ever learned about that.

:)


Shelia
RTKR - 8/23/16
LTKR - 10/11/16
 
@sistersinhim I have little swelling and only pain when I do something stupid. Yesterday I tried to kneel on it using a soft pillow. No way was it ready. It let me know. I can kneel on it with my hard pillow. If I do too much it will let me know going down stairs. That is my gauge on how the knee is doing.

@sheliac My friend is really special person. He is turning 70 in December and is a real thinker while I am a feeler. Yet for some reason we click together. We are different in so many ways and yet are comfortable together. I guess we are both lucky we found each other. (Upps, this is off topic - sorry.)
 
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