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I am so upset. I've had a horrible morning.

The occupational health appointment was horrible. Her main focus was about my weight. She brought it up more or less as I sat down. I explained I was already trying to eat healthily, cut down etc over the past 2 weeks. I was overweight to start with but have gained weight since my op & stopping smoking........I was already feeling quite sensitive about it. I got upset. We talked about other aspects too but she went back to the weight thing a couple more times. Because I was upset she started to ask I had any other issues as I seemed quite 'fragile'. She then went on to suggest I consider getting help regarding my weight and also counselling.

I came out feeling totally battered and quite tearful. During the 30 minute drive back I did think twice about going to work but thought I better had. Pulled myself together touched up my make up and went in. I went over to the construction workshop to say hi to some of my staff I hadn't yet seen. This is how the conversation went with the first instructor I saw." Hi mike how's it going?" "Good thanks, you're walking better." " yes I am thanks" " I thought you might have lost all your weight while you've been off".........what makes it worse is this was said in front of learners. I called him a cheeky @@@@@@@ and pretended to laugh it off.

I then had to speak to other staff members but found it very difficult to blink back tears.........just got home and I am still crying. I feel really stupid.....
 
Oh Lisa, I was so upset reading your post. You poor thing! Why is it people are so insensitive? You have just been through major surgery for heaven sake! Of course you feel fragile! Frankly I would have been in tears with the OH nurse!

And as for your colleagues statement - out of line!

Please don't worry about your weight. You will loose it as you get more and more mobile. I can't remember when you had your op (can you put your surgery date in your signature like this) but when I was about 6 months out I suddenly lost about a stone. I wasn't trying to loose - but I think it was because I was moving around more. So don't worry - these things take time.

Take care Lisa! We are all here for you! :console:
 
Oh Lisa, just read your post. I'm so sorry. People can be really nasty and insensitive. You've been doing so well, and your focus should really be on your new hip and recovery. Once you are more mobile, things (weight) will slowly fall into place. It is your body, and you have to like yourself the way you are (and other people should too). I am proud of you for quitting smoking! I still try and haven't done it yet. Two more weeks to go for me, and I feel the pressure. You are one great lady, and you have a lot to be proud of. Hold your head up high!
 
I would have been in tears too! Those folks were very insensitive and the fact that the incidents happened so close together did not give you much time to recover emotionally. I too am overweight and am self-conscious about it. I hope that I can lose weight and become more healthy because diabetes runs in my family and my blood sugar seems to be a little higher each time. But it is my issue to deal with not anyone else. There is no reason to feel stupid, the OH nurse and your co-worker should feel stupid. for being insensitive and speaking out of turn. In my opinion it is important to take an active role in our health and by having your hip surgery you have done that. I know it is something we have all heard since we were little but it is so true-Your worth as a person is not determined by what people can see on the outside but who you are on the inside. Try to shake off all the negative comments and realize the people who really count, know you- know the real you! ::friends:
 
Thank you friends......just came back to say I'd stopped crying and felt better, having talked it through with my husband and sister, who are very supportive. They both said pretty much the same as you all have. Thank you......I cried different tears reading your replies.

I have decided that my colleague ( I am actually his boss's boss) will be invited to my office for a 'chat without coffee'. He was insensitive but also totally disrespectful, particularly in front of the prisoners. We, as professional teaching staff are supposed to be instilling values and morals as well as formal qualifications and skills. I will be expecting an apology or may take it further.

Jaycey- my surgery was 6 Jan. I'll check my signature on the pc as I edited it a day or 2 ago. I mostly post from my phone and don't see signatures or photos etc. I didn't realise it had disappeared.

Have just been peddling on my bike and am not going to let the events of this morning drain me of positivity. I can lose weight and I will lose weight, but I will not let it take over my life. My sister's job involves dealing with folk who's relatives have died- she's just been to take a statement from a father whose 19 yr old daughter, admitted to hospital yesterday with suspected glandular fever, she died in the night and has left a 9 month old daughter. We have to count our blessings. I'm very thankful for my life.

Thank you again, you are lovely supportive people.:0)
 
Lisa, I teared up when I read about that horrible meeting with OH and then the incredibly rude instructor. I'm so glad you talked with your husband and sister and got support. Extra weight seems to be the new leprosy -- at least it is in the U.S. -- and I'm furious about it. I, too, am overweight; years of restricted mobility have really piled on the pounds. But even when I'm at a normal weight for myself, I'm "overweight" according to "industry standards." It's horrible the way many people and aspects of society treat us so offensively. My heart goes out to you, and please know that you've got many people who are supporting you.

(I'm glad you're going to discipline that rude instructor! He deserves it!)

Joan
 
Jaycey - my edited signature is showing on some posts and not others:scratch: any clues?
 
Joankr said:
Lisa, I teared up when I read about that horrible meeting with OH and then the incredibly rude instructor. I'm so glad you talked with your husband and sister and got support. Extra weight seems to be the new leprosy -- at least it is in the U.S. -- and I'm furious about it. I, too, am overweight; years of restricted mobility have really piled on the pounds. But even when I'm at a normal weight for myself, I'm "overweight" according to "industry standards." It's horrible the way many people and aspects of society treat us so offensively. My heart goes out to you, and please know that you've got many people who are supporting you.

(I'm glad you're going to discipline that rude instructor! He deserves it!)

Joan
Click to expand...

My sister thinks the OH probably has some government target to meet and was duty bound to bring it up..................know what you mean about 'industry standards' :th_heehee: last time I was the right weight for my height I must've been around 10 years old. :hairpulling:
 
Hi Lisa - oooh, poor you!!!! You have just done 2 amazing things to help you with your health, giving up smoking and having your hip done, and not only does your OH not even mention those glorious, amazing successes that but goes on about your weight?? And that you need counselling? Honestly? A cup of tea and some support would make a world of difference, but then what does she know? I bet she was only about 18 and a size zero. Her time will come......:th_heehee: And your colleague was well out of order. I think 'A Chat' will be a good way of dealing with it!:thumb:

The thing is, you have hardly been in a position to really do much about your weight. Getting over a new hip is such a stress on your body that looking after No 1 is the most important thing. Now that you are active and are confident that you can stay that way it will make such a difference. And the best and most sustained weight loss is gradual too.

And yes, you are so right, we have so much to be thankful for!

Just a thought, my husband bought me a pedometer for my last birthday, which was a great motivator and I lost a fair few pounds just using it to set targets of a few miles every few days (even over the course of a day, not in one 'lump'). Even with a dodgy hip and no hills or strenuous walking it was a really simple and effective way of just losing a few pounds and getting a bit fitter (I have bad asthma too).

Please don't let this get you down - you deserve a whole lot better!

Sue:cat-kittyandsmiley:
 
Hiya Lisa, Has that O T person ever been through what you have been through, I am sorry but i would have told her were to get off. I went to my GP last year because i was concerned about the weight i had put on with giving up smoking and he said don t bother about it, He said the most important thing is giving the ciggies up. I am still trying to lose weight but my next important thing to get through is my op next thursday. Please don t get upset about it. we are not fat just short in height. LINDA
 
I have no idea why some occy health doctors adopt that attitude. I went to one once for a pre-employment interview. She was about the size of a skinned rabbit, old and wrinkly without a hint of a smile on her face! When I went in to the office, I noticed the chair she had beside her desk for the patient had narrow arms so said I would get a different one because it was too small for me. Her response almost floored me: She said "Absolutely - just look at yourself! You're a disgrace and a danger to yourself and anyone you work with. Have you ever really looked at yourself in a mirror? You should be ashamed of yourself." And all this before we'd even said hello! :DOH:

So I got up and walked out. Needless to say, I didn't get the job!
 
Lisa, just chiming in with everyone else to express indignation on your behalf!! It sounds like you have worked through the worst part already, so just know that we all have your back. :)

And you quit smoking....that is huge!

Btw, you are probably much too nice, so I'm going to make a little doll figure of that occupational therapist and stick a few pins in it.

Sharon
 
The support from everyone today has really helped me, thank you. I'm just about to go to bed, I have one of those horrible headaches still, the type you get when you have really let it all out. I still feel very tender but almost as if it was a different me earlier today......a vulnerable me, and I find it odd to think that I allowed the stick insect get to me so much. I feel like I have a bit more working through to do.

I have enjoyed reading the humour in the posts and think its lovely how all these virtual friends, whom I've never met, have got indignant on my behalf. It's very touching. I'm hoping for a good nights sleep and to wake up tomorrow refreshed and positive. I feel so drained and fell asleep in front of the tv earlier.

Sharon - the doll needs mid length mousy hair, petite frame LOL

Night all :0)
 
Talked it through with friends over coffee this morning and their reactions were of indignation too.......I'm feeling normal to day, not vulnerable and I'm getting mad. I'm really not happy about how she spoke and behaved towards me. Not yet decided on my course of action.
 
Nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable but sound like you have worked through all that. I agree - not acceptable behavour! I am sure you will come to a course of action that suits.

Glad you are feeling better today!
 
Dear BAck up gang.....just to let you know that my colleague apologized profusely at our 'chat without coffee'. I have spoken to the HR contact about the behaviour of the OH. Still not decided about whether to make it a formal complaint. Thanks again for giving me support.

Meanwhile I'm getting back into the swing of things. Hip is bearing up but I'm not comfortable in my chair, seems to be placing pressure on the lateral incision.....need to sort that next week. Sat too long as ankles got a little puffy- hard to be disciplined and leave on time too. Otherwise I'm enjoying using my brain again.
 
Great result Lisa! Well done! Now rest and recover.

Nap time!:sleep:
 
Lisa, I love it that you are taking action regarding rude and abusive behavior, and I'm glad you're having good results. I remember how good it felt to "use my brain again" after the first surgery. A toast to you! :cheers_wine:

Joan
 
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