I'm also impressed with what you are able to do already!!!! You sound like you are doing absolutely great physically. It's such a big shock compared to being able to be completely independent so I'm sure that takes the mental and emotional toll on you.
You said you walked 100 yards and are driving. Wow! When I read that, I thought "I'd love to be able to walk that far right now (pre-surgery) without feeling like I'm going to die and will be thrilled if I can do that even a month or so after my surgery!" So, maybe it's a matter of putting things into perspective ... Think about your limitations prior to surgery and I bet you will see that you are doing quite well at this point in your recovery. That may help boost your spirits.
I completely agree with asking others for help--even people you wouldn't usually think of. Sometimes we get so independent that asking for help is such a foreign concept and feeling. I used to be like that too, but the pain and rapidly decreasing mobility has forced me to ask for and accept some help. I HATED feeling vulnerable.
But, as I've gotten worse and worse and then also have been planning the recovery process, I've started looking at things very differently. I've allowed myself to show vulnerability. It's amazing how great most people have been. I've had numerous offers of help and I have come right out and ask for specific things. I've even had two co-workers that I consider friends, but not close friends, offer to use their vacation days to take me to my medical appointments that are about 2 hours away from where they live. It's an all day affair. I'm taking one up on the offer and she seems really happy that I've asked her. She is just one of those people who truly likes to do things for others. My elderly neighbor, whose own health isn't all that great, has been asking me what meals she might be able to cook for me.
The only disappointment I've had was a person I regarded as my best friend who has shown very little interest in offering help to me so far. We've had very frank discussions recently and I confronted her (in a tactful way) about why she has been so distant and disinterested, and she simply said that I was asking more from her than she can give. That blew me away because the only thing I've asked of her is to be there the day of surgery and be available in case I have a bad night after I come home and need someone to stay with me--and I really did say one night not "I will expect you to be on call 24-7"--but she simply said she wouldn't be able to stay with me overnight, with no reasonable explanation.
That has upset me quite a bit and I recently decided that her lack of involvement and interest has made me uncomfortable enough that I no longer want her at the hospital as my advocate the day of surgery. Another friend has stepped up and said she would be happy to do so. She's a nurse, so I know I'll be watched over well. I think the other friend is relieved that she is "off the hook". That shook me, but I'm glad I checked it out and made the change before something happened the day before my surgery or the like.
So, not all requests for help will have a positive outcome, but I bet you will find that most will. I've been able to relax so much more since I've started reaching out and asking for help. It's comforting to know that I don't have to grit my teeth and do this alone. I hope you will do the same.
Dorothy
United States
I'm embarrassed at having been whining so much, but believe everything happens for a reason. 
