Hello Martha, from about-to-snow northern France
I've just been for a walk (yay for me - I need all the positive reinforcement I can get) and as I walked, I was thinking about your posts and how similar we are at this point (although we have got here by separate routes). I went back and read your posts and some words just jumped out at me; low, slow, stuck, hurts, stiff, tightness, concerned, frightening, worried. Words we all identify with and words that probably pass my lips almost daily.
But I also thought about having the surgery, an MUA, fairly intensive exercise and PT, the obvious desire you have to improve and understand your progress and thought, well, if I were Martha's knee, I'd be recalcitrant too. Please understand, I'm not saying you shouldn't exercise and be keen to make progress but I wonder if we get so caught up in the medical process, our expectations and fears that we stop listening to anything else our body is telling us. We need a time out to draw breath and just work out what the heck is going on and, perhaps, to be less demanding of ourselves.
I'm in the reverse situation to you - I've very recently realised that my body is saying 'do more' and I've been ignoring it, so it cuts both ways.
Don't settle for less than you want but, perhaps, give yourself permission to get there by a different, slower route.
Hope you don't think this is presumptuous - funny what you muse on when you walk!
Sue