MUA Ruby's Tuesday--July 11th, 2017<

[Fire wolf]

So chances are very good that you will be able to check in early. With most checkout times at hotels being around 11am, they have plenty of time to clean a room.

As for the drive, you may be more comfortable riding in the back seat with legs propped up, and ice on knee, and make sure that you take an extra pillow for behind your back and head for comfort. Who knows, you may be able to get in a little shut eye on the way.

Does anyone in the family live near the wedding? If so, you could always ask someone if you can stop at their house before the wedding if for nothing else but to get changed, if you can't get early check in. It doesn't give you your nap or shower, but at least you won't have to make the ride in formal attire!

Btw, I wore sneakers when both of my siblings got married, and I was in the wedding party! I also know of brides who wore sneakers with their very formal bridal gowns!
Now go relax and ice!

Oh, and one more thing, you wanted to know who needs a nap after trying on a few dresses....people recovering from TKRs, that's who!

 

[jboles]

Wear sneakers! Oh, by the way, sometimes I need a nap after a shower, much less trying on dresses!

 

[Thesoutherncook]

At worst, you could change in the public restroom in the lobby! I did that for a job interview once!

 

[Ruby9297]

Wear sneakers! Oh, by the way, sometimes I need a nap after a shower, much less trying on dresses!

Me too! I feel like such a wuss!

 

[Fire wolf]

You are not a wuss! Your body is recovering from an extremely traumatic surgery! Please cut yourself some slack!

 

[Ruby9297]

Omg! Where did Bonesmart go? I've been going through withdrawals for the past couple of days! I've missed you all so much, and quite a lot has happened to me since the last time I was able to connect.

Most significantly, I drove two days in a row-- big mistake! My doctor told me to go ahead and drive whenever I felt ready. I didn't feel ready, but I had a doctor appointment on Tuesday and no one to take me. It was only 4 miles away, and it was excruciating, but I made it.

The next day I drove twice that distance to get my hair done. My hairdresser left for her vacation yesterday. When I got to her house, she was out. We had the dates mixed up. I could not reschedule because I was in so much pain just getting there that I prayed to God that if he would get me home safely this time I wouldn't do something this stupid again.

Some may say my vanity got the better of me, but I feel like I look like **** and I needed some cheering up. I always feel better when I get my hair and nails done.

My OS has advised me to stay out of nail shops until my wound is completely healed because they don't always maintain the best sanitation procedures. I had my 22 year old with me, but he's autistic and developmentally delayed, so he can't drive. He was afraid because he could see I was in a lot of pain and asked me if I wanted to pull over until I felt better. I guess I'm so stir crazy and I want to be normal so much faster than is possible.

It caused me a set back because I spent the rest of the day propped up on my recliner in agony' with ice, pain meds, and a sense of defeat. Oh when is this going to be over?!


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[sistersinhim]

Treat your knee like the infant it is, and your pain will be so much less. You'll see some improvement every week. Just look forward to the end and know that it will be worth it all!

 

[Ruby9297]

@sistersinhim, you are so right, and I'm constantly placing myself in situations where I have to learn the hard way. I'm so accustomed to always being on the go, multitasking, decision-making, managing, going tend directions at once, and this surgery has literally stopped me I my tracks! It's so hard for me to slow right down!


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[Fire wolf]

I am hoping that you work on staying out of ODIC. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should! Ice, elevate, rest a bit, and try to take it slow, even though that is very difficult!

 

[sistersinhim]

Many of us have the same problem. To go from busy bee to lounger in very difficult. But, just remember, your body is hard at work healing itself, so you are not doing nothing!

 

[liam2015]

oh ruby9297, i'm sorry you had to drive yourself, and then you had to do it again and the dates were mixed up. don't worry about looking a "mess" ~ more important to take good care of yourself in this slow recovery and you'll get back to the hairdresser. that was sweet what you said about your son, that he was worried about you being in pain and asking if you wanted to pull over.it's true about this surgery "stopping us in our tracks". do try to slow down and enjoy a little peace and time for reflection while you can. soon enough you'll be back to the grindstone.

 

[Celle]

@Ruby9297 - I get the impression that you are driving yourself too hard and trying to do too much. It's only a few weeks since you had major surgery that caused a lot of trauma. Both your knee and your body need time, rest and gentle treatment, so that you can recover. Complete recovery takes as long as a full year - it's a marathon, not a sprint - so please try to slow down. Read this article again, to see what you should be doing at your stage of recovery - Activity progression for TKRs - I think you'll find it's a lot less than you are trying to do.

Is it at all possible that you can go to this wedding a day early, so that you have a night's rest at your destination before the wedding day? Travelling there on the day and then attending a wedding is going to be a lot of activity for your new knee, and you're likely to end up very tired and sore.

Do warn the wedding couple that you are still convalescing and you may have to leave the reception early. It's their big day, but you must look after yourself as well.

 

[Ruby9297]

Thanks @Celle , you're right, I'm doing too much , and yet I feel like I'm not doing enough. My family has been great, but even they are getting a bit fed up with my needing so much help. I have a need to feel like I'm making a contribution to our household and it's difficult.

Regarding the wedding: I can't go a day ahead because it's in tiny foothill
Town, with 2 B&Bs and 2 motels. When we booked our room back in May we we're lucky to get a room. Everything else was booked out and it's the last holiday weekend of the summer. I'm guessing other guests will will be staying in motels not so close into the winery.
I have warned the couple that I'm still recuperating, and I think they get it/- the groom is a fire fighter/paramedic. Plus his mother has had a fluke incident occur: over 8 years ago she was in a bad car accident and had to have a plate put in her clavicle.
A Month ago, she woke up in pain. There was a hole where the plate had been placed, pus was coming out, and she could see hardware. She's had several surgeries since and is Fighting an infection that won't quit. She just updated me with the latest Info in a text this week, and she has to host the rehearsal dinner in this remote location. I feel sorry for her. So I won't be the only one with a medical issue.

I really disliked all the dresses I ordered from
Amazon. So I sent them all back. I found a dress in my own closet that will work--not full
Length, but very nice silk chiffon, easy to wear and more than acceptable for a wedding. The formal request for attire will have to be forgone in exchange for our presence and best intentions. Thank you for your thoughtful response.

 

[Celle]

Thanks @Celle , you're right, I'm doing too much , and yet I feel like I'm not doing enough. My family has been great, but even they are getting a bit fed up with my needing so much help. I have a need to feel like I'm making a contribution to our household and it's difficult.

It's hard for families to understand how long this recovery can take - and probably it's hard for you, too.
But your main job right now should be to look after yourself and your knee, so that you can heal well and eventually contribute fully again to the family. This is the time for them to step up to the plate and repay all the caring you have given them.
Nurturing mother: how to let go and accept help

Your family was probably expecting you to bounce back quickly from the surgery and be "all better" by about 6 weeks. But you have had one of the most major surgeries a person can have, and it takes a long time to get over it. Maybe if you showed them some of these pictures, they'd understand a bit better.
TKR surgery - WARNING: real life photos

I've been thinking what else you might do, to help yourself at the wedding. Maybe you could hire a wheelchair, so that you cut down the amount of walking you have to do - and you will have somewhere to sit. You could cover your knees and lower legs with a pretty shawl and no one will know that your dress isn't full length, and you're wearing comfortable shoes.

Best wishes - and do let us know how you get on.

 

[Josephine]

I always feel better when I get my hair and nails done.

Is that peculiar to you? I think not. Everyone always feels better after a hair and nail-do!

My OS has advised me to stay out of nail shops until my wound is completely healed because they don't always maintain the best sanitation procedures.

HUH? What a totally stupid remark!

I'm so accustomed to always being on the go, multitasking, decision-making, managing, going tend directions at once, and this surgery has literally stopped me I my tracks! It's so hard for me to slow right down!

Oh Ruby, Ruby, Ruby! WHEN are you going to be sensible and accept your situation which is presently that of someone recovering from MAJOR surgery! You make it sound like it sound like ti should be akin to having a tooth filled!

Oh when is this going to be over?!

Well, you're 11 weeks now. Had you been sensible and followed instructions, you might have had maybe another 2-3 weeks before you could slowly start gearing up to normal life. Instead you are trying to have a normal life now and it's making everything take so very much longer. If you keep this up, I'd estimate you could be in for at least another 6-8 weeks of it. It really isn't rocket science, my dear!

 

[Ruby9297]

Thanks for that link to those gory pictures depicting a real life TKR. It was important for my husband and kids to see those pictures. It helped drive home the point that I went through a hard core surgery. All claim that they get that I am in a lot of pain and have limited mobility, stamina, etc., but they truly don't. So I have to explain to them every detail, which is
Tiresome. I have to remember my boys are both on the autsism spectrum and my Dh is doing his very best to work a full time job and keep the household running .
A

instructions

 

[Ruby9297]

Hi @Josephine , actually I'll be at 6 weeks on Tuesday, so not as far along as you stated. Thanks for the sound telling off, though! I need to just accept that this will control my life for a few more months.

 

[VW54]

Was thinking: wouldn't it be great if we TKRs had some kind of cast -like but flexible brace thing which we could wear when going out and to functions/events making our predicament so obvious that everyone would go easy on us like they do for those in a full leg cast?
When I use the metro, I've been taking a crutch instead of more practical trekking sticks or now my cane to get a bigger chance at getting a seat.
A sort of self-defense tactic.

 

[kmak81230]

I definitely used the cane in San Fran last month -- it was so helpful for getting a seat on the city busses. And as Susie experienced can be handy in case of over zealous dogs while walking.

 

[Fire wolf]

@Ruby9297, I actually almost started wearing the hip to ankle knee brace I had to wear for what seemed like forever when original Spence was put in (meniscal transplant). It has hinges that lock at varying degrees to limit extension and flexion. I thought it would helo people *get it* better. The only reason I didn't was because I am sick and tired of wearing braces of varying kinds. But I agree with you that it might help. I hope things continue to progress well for you!