petrified of op and life afterwards....

[stargirl]

Thankyou Vida for your kind words, i have not really earnt my bs stripes yet until i go through surgery but i can relate to anybody that is scared, confused and in pain. I think honesty is the best elixir sometimes..
That is wonderful advice re the worry balloon, i am going to start filling it up
i will try and get a copy of Gone Girl also it sounds great!, i have the 'power of now' and a couple of others, i usually read aorund 3 at a time xx

 

[Weezi]

Hey Stargirl,
I saw your post in Nanal's thread but thought I would come and find yours. Today the thought of surgery has been all consuming. I can't even try to watch a movie to get it off my mind. One minute I feel like I have an idea of what to expect and the next thing I know I'm reading another thread of issues that I'm unaware of. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do much over the last couple of months. I could have spent that time recovering so I'm ready in that sense it's just my mind that won't cooperate. When I first found out I thought I could prolong it by losing weight. I really tried but only lost a couple of pounds and gained several painful nights. I was walking on a treadmill daily but had to give it up as I couldn't stand the pain that would come later. There's no way I will be able to do anything about it until this hip has healed. What's worse for me is I tend to snack when I hurt. I know that is so awful but sometimes I can't help it. So I know what you mean about veering back and forth. At least when we are post op we will be able to focus on getting and feeling better. In the meantime, we have each other to lean on (no pun intended).

 

[stargirl]

Hi Weezi!, thankyou for your post, i had typed the most beautiful message to you and then the internet decides to crash!, oh well here goes again!. I just realised that your surgery is actually in feb and not 5th May as our australian interpreation would have it!!. I am so excited for you that it is sooner than may!, i pray your pain levels are not my own but i fear form reading your posts we might be in a similar predicament, in which case bring on the surgery!!!
I too had assumed that an attempt at weight loss would be successful and teh magic elixir to all my pain issues!?!, however due to my lack of mobility i struggle to walk after getting up from a chair let alone tring to hammer it out on a treadmill!.

I used to maintain my weight with the treadmill or an occasional walk but this ability was stripped from me around three years ago. To make things worse i live next to a beautiful little beach and thi swas one of my greatest joys to take a stroll, this too in now a distant memory due to ever increasing stiffness and pain. Limping has become a part of my daily repetoir.

In all honesty the decline of my quality of life, weight gain and general unenthusiasm for anything has resolved me to the fact there is no other solution.

Reading the myriad of positive posts on this glorious forum and realising what a common and popular procedure this is for millions around the world like us, appeases my mind. I dont see any other way beacuse if i had to continue on with this lack of living and decline in overall health basically all stemming from trying to resolve the hip pain, i dont see a very bright existance for myself or my family.

This is why i am trying my darndest to soldier onwards and upwards' and stay courageous even though i am scared and anxious.

We need to reclaim our lives back xxx

 

[alexthecat]

You sound so much like me! I actually chose my home because it was near a park that I could go running in. For months before THR, all I wanted to do was to walk to the park and feed the ducks in the pond there. It was something that I used to take for granted but, by the time I had my THR, that duck pond might as well have been on the moon for all the likelihood I had of getting there.

Well, the duck pond is still there and I'm back to walking in the park and feeding the ducks and taking it all for granted. There were a lot of things that I've accomplished since my THR. I've skied in Wyoming and mountain biked in Utah and hiked at Yellowstone but I have to say that my first stroll to the duck pond was one of my proudest accomplishments.

It won't be long for you now until this surgery is behind you. Then you just keep improving and improving. All the pre-op worries just fade away because your life is moving in the right direction again. I can't wait to see you on the other side.

 

[bellaroma]

Stargirl, you are really preparing yourself emotionally, not walking I speak from experience is no fun, and I can not wait until my other hip is done in March to really be able to do things. I also live on the beach, and not being able to walk on sand or go on my kayak has been a killer. Why don't you get a cane now as it will help you in your recovery.

 

[Weezi]

Hey Stargirl,
I hate that you lost your original post but I've done the same thing, except I forgot to click the post reply! duh! I'm glad you brought my surgery date to my attention. I had meant to change it because I read were Jo mentioned the International Date system. I am so glad it's not in May, I definitely couldn't wait that long. You are so fortunate to live next to the beach and I'm sure you are looking forward to getting out there and walking again, it sounds beautiful. I have so many things I want to do once I'm back to "normal" whatever that is. LOL! The GP I saw for my pre-op this morning said "Your to young for this" it was just easier to agree but it doesn't bother me anymore. I actually think of it more like a wake-up call now. I appreciate the little things and I also realize there's a lot more going on than the daily grind it's so easy to get stuck in. There are a lot of folks in much worse shape than I'm in. Not to mention, I'm grateful that there's a solution to my problem and I want to make the best of it once I'm recovered. So here's so soldiering onward and upward!

 

[Poppet]

Hey Aussie girl... stargirl... I got the sand between my toes around 5 weeks... Hang in there honey.. Not long now

 

[stargirl]

I had my preop appointment yesterday, it went on for three hours becaus ei did my blood tests, ecg and xrays all at once, thank god thats over. I spoke with the physion, Occ therapist and nurse all of who were lovely and so reassuring and to be honest clarified a lot of the post op restrictions which i now realise the majority - such as crossing legs and bending down for shoes which i usually end up calling to my husband to help anyway.

i think i had worked up uneccesary angst in my mind about these further post op restrictions when they are apparently only for aorund 6 weeks anyway, if my doctor does impose them.

Anyways other than just emotionally and physically tiring there was nothing to be frightened about with this appt and very used to blood tests by now as have had a few in the past on other issues.

The Mater hospital in sydney seems so professional and the staff all willing and experienced, i believe i am in great hands which is of course so reassuring.

Weezi i hear you on the young thing (im 35 but have had this pain for last few years quite in full force) and intially this is why i fought with the decision for so long. However once the degenration sets in and you need drugs just to walk a few steps and pretend you are living a whole life, i think the decision gets more clarity and of course urgency.
When is your pre op appt?

As someone on this wonderful forum once said, ' Imagine where you would be six months form now if you did not do the operation as opposed to doing it" , scary if i fathom deteriorating further. Just the addtional weight gain has got be the root of all evil not to mention the constant usage of NSAIDs taking their inevitable toll on me eventually.

God i wish i could fast forward sixmonths fom now, post op and have a pain free life!!!!!

Im going to shopping mall today with my trolley /walker to lean on hopefully will be a thing of the past in time to come. Some retail therapy should help to get my mind off things, i dont want to sit there analysing too much or i may have ' paralysis by analysis' and i dont want to do a runner from the hospital...

 

[Poppet]

How was the shopping Stargirl ...

Yes your walker will be a thing of the past.. I use mine as a laundry trolley... Sit on it and whizz around the kitchen... It has become a fun item now...

The Mater has a fantastic reputation.. You are in very good hands.. Can't wait for your date

 

[Weezi]

You made me laugh with your "to do a runner from the hospital". I can just imagine one of us literally trying to run.

 

[puddle fish]

Never underestimate a hippy I got quiet nippy on crutches

 

[Weezi]

Your right puddle fish, the crutches have helped me a lot more when it comes to getting around than my cane has. I was just imagining one of us trying to run from the hospital when star girl said "I don't want to do a runner from the hospital". I've gotten to where I slide my right foot instead of picking it up because it's starting to naturally turn inward. That's one of the reasons I try not to go out in public. I'm a sight to see when I'm using my cane. The picture I had in my mind of trying to flee the hospital due to "second thoughts" gave me a giggle though.

 

[puddle fish]

Stargirl im doing more 3 months out than I was 3 months before op, all I knew was that without the OP i would be in a whealchair there is only so much medication you can use. I was so lucky mine was all so fast so I didnt hve time to over analyse the options. Best of luck for the op x

 

[Poppet]

stargirl

Hey Aussie girl... Just dropping by to give you a hug..

Would come visit you at hospital if I could, but sadly I will just have to be with you in spirit as your Poppet angel.. Holding your hand as they wheel you in and then as you drift off to sleep.. Check that they are looking after you in the OR... ((( hugs )))

 

[stargirl]

Thankyou beuatiful Poppet, i cannot tell you how much your kind words and all the lovely people on this forum have made me feel more confident towards committing to my decision. In all honesty when i was out and about today i realised for the last couple of months i have been using my husband as a 'human cane' lol i have to laugh or else ill cry
The deterioration has been ridiculous in three months and quite frankly at this stage i am more terrified of where i would be without the op on wednesday.

Can you guys please tell me can you ffel this steel rod inside of you when you wake?, i think i would rather know than be freaked out.

 

[Oakviewneighbor]

Hi stargirl, The implant felt like my normal hip without the pain of bone on bone.

 

[stargirl]

Thankyou for sharing your experience Oakviewneighbour really hard to imagine normality post op so appreciate the feedback

 

[Poppet]

stargirl good question... You know I was convinced in my head that I would be able to feel all of it, but....

There is no way that you will be able to feel any of the components of the prostheses. It is all deep in the pelvis or inside bone and it doesn't take long before you will forget that you have an implant.... The 'forgotten hip' we all refer to..

It is quite funny actually, because somedays at work, I spring out of my chair and office and head off down a corridor and suddenly I will think.... Isn't it a miracle... even when I see my x-rays, I feel detached from it... That can't be my hip, because it feels like the other one!

Surreal is the best way I can describe it

 

[sissy46]

Poppet I was thinking the same yesterday! the new hip feels just like the real one when I walk. I remember seeing my grandparents limping around with canes and taking aspirin for arthritic pain, and I'm so grateful that this surgery was available when I needed it. And I love my OS, too

Stargirl, I never had any pain whatsoever that felt like it was in the femur or hip joint. My pain was never really bad---I did stay ahead of it with the morphine while in the hospital---and was only felt in the muscles and soft tissue, not the bone. I know it is hard to imagine the absence of that bone on bone pain, but it really will be gone. To this day, I've not had any pain that I could describe as being where the prothesis is.

Just an FYI, at almost a week post-op, after I had been doing way too much for that stage of the game, I had a great deal of painless swelling in my operative leg and foot. Ice, rest and elevation took care of that within 3 days and I've never had swelling again. My physical therapist did mention that she sees that early swelling more with the anterior approach, possibly hematoma putting pressure on lymphatic system. Just mentioning this since you're having the anterior approach, too.

Did you get a copy of Gone Girl yet? It is a page turner and you will never guess the ending. I read it after I had read the first four Song of Ice and Fire books and was waiting for the fifth. Essential elements for post-op at home: good books, good videos, good ice cream.

Stargirl, you are much on my mind, as I'm counting down the days with you. I think you are going to be over-the-moon thrilled with your new hip, and I can't wait to hear all about it.

 

[Weezi]

Thanks Oakviewneighbor, Poppet and Sissy46 for putting my fears at rest too. I have had a couple of depressing days and it does help having some idea of what to expect. I am trying to be as optimistic as possible but there are those days when it seems so overwhelming, thanks again.

Thanks Stargirl for having the courage to ask. I hope your retail therapy did you some good.