TKR People are making me feel like a wimp after RTKR

[SadKnee]

Hang in there! I am on my 4th week of healing and I have not driven yet and I don't leave the house too much ... just started to more this last week. My home PT is always telling me how well his other TKR patients are doing and I always remind him we are all different and I am still progressing in my own way.

 

[referee54]

y home PT is always telling me how well his other TKR patients are doing and I always remind him we are all different and I am still progressing in my own way.

That is tremendous!!! You are standing up for yourself and being your own advocate!! I congratulate you on your stand!!!

 

[Jamie]

Sunnie, what these folks have said is absolutely true. The people making these comments have no clue what this surgery is like unless they have had a knee replaced themselves. I would bet 100% of the people who talk to you like this have not. Therefore, you must embrace their stupidity on the matter. They simply cannot relate.

So the approach you've been given to have some pat responses such as these is the best route:

* Everyone heals differently from this surgery. The knee is the most complex joint in the body and there are a lot of factors that impact recovery for anyone.

* My medical team is satisfied with my recovery so far and I simply take it at the speed my body is healing.

Try and stay away from the folks who are bringing you down. Use the comebacks when needed. Corral them and show them a live-action surgery video from YouTube.

But in the end, the key is to understand that some people are just going to be ignorant about all this. It is their problem and not yours. They can say awful and hurtful things, but YOU have the power not to take those feelings on board. How you react to their comments is totally within your control, so use your power!!!! When you want to feel better about it all, write down the things you can do today that you couldn't do a week ago.....a month ago....or more. List the things you are planning to do when recovery is on a better footing (literally!).

You have done something by having this surgery that most people find VERY, VERY scary. You are a strong person and have come far already. Your goal is in sight. Hit 'em hard with all the positives and that will help keep the negatives at bay.

 

[skigirl]

sunnie, let's face it---folks who make comments like that to you are not really your friends---who needs them? I had a fairly quick recovery and it still felt like forever!! Who needs folks who bring negativity into your life? Just move along and don't worry about them.

 

[tashia]

Please accept where you are and please don't compare yourself to others. I going very slow because I don't want to blow it. this is a ruff surgery and I don't want to have to repeat it so I'm going at snail pace. I know I stayed home for some time because I needed too. It very personal. I drove when I felt it was safe, it took me some time but so. People that haven't had this done have no idea whats its like. In fact I got a lecture today because I wasn't moving fast enough. I took time to explain it, what a waste of time. So I am now on my path that I need to be on. You can join me and we will get there when we are suppose to get there. We set the pace. Take care Tashia

 

[medan2012]

sunnie12, I understand exactly where you are coming from.... Today at PT, I asked my therapist and another therapist who was shadowing him if they had ever had a knee injury, heaven forbid a TKR. The answer was "in clinicals, we have to ride around in wheelchairs, etc." I stated it's nothing like having a real TKR.

Hang in there and go your own speed....... Until someone has walked in your shoes; they do not have a clue what you are going through! When I first had my TKR and came home & started home therapy, the first thing that the therapist told me was " no one person is the same; each person will heal in their own time so you can't compare yourself to your neighbor",that statement gave me the confidence that I needed because you hear stories about so & so doing well or not doing well after a TKR.

I'm so thankful that I found BS.

Blessings to you........

 

[sharonc60]

Please don't think of yourself as a wimp or compare yourself to anyone else Sunnie. I've been finding that the people whe recover in weeks as opposed to months are the exception, not the rule. I'm in week 5, still using a walker, not driving and just go out for short walks and PT. I've had an infection, horrible nausea, depression and no energy. I'm practicing patience and dealing with each setback as it comes. This has been one of the biggest challenges of my life, and I know at some point, it will make me stronger.

Hang in there and come here often, this is a great place for encouragement and practical solutions to the problems we're all facing.

 

[Nursepair]

Oh Sunnie, that is so unfair to be told that. It took me a full year to recover from my first TKR. That was also how long I was at Physio for. Didn't drive for 12 weeks!! My second was faster and easier, so not only is everyone different but every TKR can be different. Hang in there and let the wonderful people on this forum support you. I wouldn't have fared so well without them. It will be worth all the pain in the end. TKR's are the best thing ever for getting your near normal life back Good luck with your recovery.

Sue

 

[Mutley]

Hi Sunnie,
My mother in law only yesterday ( on a very rare visit) said to me, "But I know people who have recovered by 6 weeks" (I'm 15 weeks post op) I just said to her, "That's because more elderly people, LIKE YOURSELF only have to think about they're recovery, generally & not running the house, doing a job, sorting out the shopping, cleaning, laundry etc, LIKE MYSELF" !!!! I did have to take a deep breath though Your body is taking as much time as your knee requires. That knee will then see you through for years to come! Take all the time you need & don't even waste your emotions on those who can only come out with an insensitive remark!! Some people just "Don't think" before they come out with these comments though...

 

[Roy Gardiner]

My mother in law only yesterday ( on a very rare visit) said to me, "But I know people who have recovered by 6 weeks"

This is always the way; it's always 2nd hand, never a first hand 'I ran a marathon the day after triple knee replacement' always 'A friend of a friend had knee and hip replacement on the rest day of the Tour de France and finished 1st and 2nd he was that good.'

Don't worry about these people, there's usually no malice in them. But they are in the throes of brain replacement surgery, which as we all know has a considerable period after the removal of the old brain before the new one can be installed.

 

[Nyland]

Every time I read a BTKR post, I read it with great respect. They never complain like I did. I was the wimp, but I'm here to tell anyone and everyone that it gets better.
I must practice pronouncing my new favorite line, "Illegitimi non carborundum."

 

[kneeper]

One thing that helped me is that my OS was straight with me that full recovery could take a year.
Reminding people of the hammering and sawing also helped when they seemed to wonder why I was still using a cane, "still" taking vicodin in week 4, etc. Yes, this was not a scope procedure.

But it is so worth it.

 

[medan2012]

Hi sunny12,

I ran across this piece of encouragement & thought I would share it with you:

 

[Ms.fixit]

I know! And it's always someone who has had no orthopedic surgery of any kind. I went to usual my AA meeting las tWednesday for the first time since my January surgery , ice bags in tow. On of the ladies mentioned her brother, who is having a TKR, and I was honest about the ups and downs of my own recovery. In butts this old biddy who has had it in for me since the day I joined that particular group a year ago. She waved me aside, talked loudly over me so that I had to stop conversing and said to the woman that " I know somebody who had it done and it went very well."
Oh! Well, then! After you, Madame!
Meanwhile I am sitting RIGHT THERE with a new knee..but "knowing somebody" is all the expertise she needed. Even her cronies looked at her like she was insane.
Don't listen to them. Listen to us, because we've been there too!

 

[Josephine]

It amazes me that people think everyone should heal at the same rate and how unfair it is to make comparisons with others.

Basically, because they are ignorant (in the nicest possible way,of course! ) and have no clue what they are talking about. Just remember that.

 

[kneeper]

Also, "going very well" includes the ups and downs of recovery but a good final result.

 

[alexthecat]

It's very easy for an observer to think that someone else's recovery is "going very well". What do they know though? They may think they know a lot, but they only know what the patient wants them to see. It's not like some random acquaintance is going to be there at 3 am, when you're waiting for the pain meds to kick in and the ice to do its thing. There's so much that an outside observer is never going to understand. There's a lot more to recovery than being seen in public.

 

[Nyland]

My own mother would call me and say, "When I had my knee done..." You know what friends? She NEVER had her knee replaced and she is not senile. She had water on the knee once, I think. She works everyday, 7 days week, golfs, plays tennis and has the knees God gave her. I usually just put my iPhone on speaker. My husband and I have a big old giggle when she says things like that.

 

[alexthecat]

Nyland I have one of those mothers too! Mine broke her ankle 25 years ago. Of course, this makes her a world expert on orthopedics. She was constantly comparing my THR to her ankle. Why would I need narcotics? She never took anything stronger than an aspirin. Why was I taking blood thinners? She never did that. Why was I using a cane? She just threw away her crutches and started walking around.

It seems funny now, but it was very upsetting at the time.

 

[Roy Gardiner]

"Against stupidity, the Gods themselves contend in vain."