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[BILATERAL THRs] Oh 'dreams' exactly as visioned

Discussion in 'Hip Replacement Recovery Area' started by mikeycat, Jun 6, 2019.

  1. Barbaraj

    Barbaraj post-grad

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    Hey, @mikeycat , can we trade sons just for a week? I adore mine but autonomous is not exactly a good descriptor for him. He's a charming, creative and loveable young man, but he's got some challenges which baffle me as our temperaments are polar opposites and I struggle to understand and help him. But, like all parents, I just keep soldiering along and try to remember it will all work out. So sorry to read about your day not being the greatest, but hang in there. You will get the call and, I hope, additional procedures will help with these hand problems so you can keep moving along with those bilateral hips. You've got a lot on your plate, no question, but sending positive thoughts that you'll get that call soon.
     
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  2. Layla

    Layla FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Aww, mikeycat. I'm sorry you're doing so well as a bilateral and then to have another issue that is causing you pain and keeping you from engaging to your fullest has to be maddening. I hope you're able to find relief soon.
    Sending a hug and best wishes for a happy Wednesday. :console2:
    @mikeycat
     
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  3. mikeycat

    mikeycat senior
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    Thanks. I am soldering on. Just broke a lamp well I think my cat did but the globe was in a million pieces and I on my knees picking it up and washing the floor-got glass in my toe but all ok removed it. I have to stop this downward spiral. So many other things but I am sure I can't be the only one--we all have stuff--got to have an about face soon.Thinking of going to the country. On another note does anyone else have different relationships now that you have had surgery?What I mean is has the surgery impacted your relationships?
     
  4. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    Yes, big time! My partner is one of those who runs a mile from anything medical. He had absolutely no patience with my recovery. To him, if I was home I was fully recovered - NOT!

    Then there is being exhausted and frustrated that everything takes twice as long is it should. This too impacts relationships.

    Do something good for yourself. A favourite movie, book, music. Meet a friend for coffee. A change of scenery might just make all the difference.
     
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  5. Layla

    Layla FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    I'm sure this surgery can impact relationships. Some may grow stronger through nurturing, caring for, comforting and viewing your spouse in a vulnerable condition. Others may become sad or feel disillusioned by their partners lack of care or concern. Caregiving can wear on the best of us and it's often difficult for those we love to see us in a weakened state. You've been through a lot with bilateral surgery. You've been doing surprisingly well. Now you're suffering pain once again with the carpal tunnel issues and ongoing situation in treating the recluse spider bite / effect. Maybe a trip to the country by yourself to enjoy the peace and solitude?
     
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  6. Layla

    Layla FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Aww, @Jaycey this made me laugh :heehee: but also want to give you a hug. :console2:
     
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  7. mikeycat

    mikeycat senior
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    I am sorry Jaycey that your experience was difficult. It is so much harder having to deal with oneself and also how one is impacting someone else.My hubby is supportive it is more the friends who pose the challenges wanting you to be as you were and remembering you for that especially those who have never 'had' anything. I had one friend and this was a best friend of 58 years who wanted me out for lunch --bout 3 weeks postop and really wanted to know if I was using my place in the country. I was floored.Another had us going to a fair and all kinds of things after having driven 5 hours. She has pulled a passive aggressive on me I believe. All I want is to recover here alone.

    I haven't been behind the wheel yet and the car is my husband's mistress.
     
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  8. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    Unfortunately friends and relatives let us down. They have unrealistic expectations of what we can do post-op. Don't feel guilty about setting your own limits. But do remember - all this is temporary. Tell those friends who want to meet up that you will be more than happy to do this when your hips are ready. Hey, refer them to this site.

    THR is not like having your toe nails clipped. It's major surgery!
     
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  9. Cecropia

    Cecropia graduate

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    @mikeycat It hasn't hurt my relationship with my husband or friends. It has changed my relationship with myself, I've changed, and I feel isolated from the world I left behind. The new me is frustrating to get used to....
     
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  10. Calgal

    Calgal senior

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  11. mikeycat

    mikeycat senior
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    @Cecropia So sorry you are feeling this way. It must be hard--it is hard.Is it because the progress as you see it is slow ? It is temporary isn't it? Perhaps you can try new things in the interim and maybe you will discover other things about yourself that may ease the frustration.I don't mind the new me but I hate these other things that are befalling me--like I stirred the proverbial pot having these hip replacement(s). This carpal tunnel is the worst--can't do anything and I am terribly embarrassed that all this is occurring with amazing regularity-each day a new ailment--my limit is three.
     
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  12. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Oh @mikeycat
    I'm just catching up around the forum as I have had a full plate as of late...
    I do hate that your hands are making this hip recovery such a harder job. :console2:
    I hope you are able to go without the aids for the easy does it round the house walking so they can get a bit of a reprieve.
    Hugs my double hippy compadre.:friends:
     
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  13. mikeycat

    mikeycat senior
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    I am reading about the surgery for carpal tunnel and the PT afterwards now- rehab for hands. Wish I didn't do the other because even my teeth are sore and I have to see the dentist. Think it was all about the gross inflammation i endured. Just about had it now.
     
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  14. CricketHip

    CricketHip FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    @mikeycat Sigh. I am sorry to hear that the carpal tunnel has been so painful. I knew a couple people who got in this predicament, the shooting pains/numbness and almost complete debilitation.
    Its so frustrating to me to hear about the delays in getting an appointment.. what else can you do? Would calling in every day and asking, help? I know you just made the first call a few days ago but maybe call again?

    My mom was suffering terribly with her hands so when I would visit I would do a very light touch massage, would work on her neck and shoulders first then ease down her forearms and then the hands.
    It was only temporary but she would sleep better that night, which gave her much needed rest.
    I wonder if your hubs could try it for you?

    Do you have a dental appointment set up soon? Girl we need to get you back together.. then there will be no stopping you! It seems like a lot, but that seems to be the nature of the beast.. comes in 3's and sometimes 4's.

    I think you are a great person and very practical and you WILL get through this, then look out! There'll be no stopping you (unless there's a bug involved)
    :console2:
     
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  15. CricketHip

    CricketHip FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    I wonder,, what would be the one thing that you'd like to do to lift your spirits? Maybe like what my husband did when I was sore and blue and took me for a nice drive in the country. Something that gets you out of the house with little effort?
    I so wish I could say or do more to help.. hugs! :SUNsmile:
     
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  16. mikeycat

    mikeycat senior
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    Thanks for that. I needed it. I really can't stand this pain. It shoots up my arm on my right side.Well I have an apt. with the dentist on the 21st but the other thing is a bit of a problem. I need a referral from my GP (availability Sept 25) but can get one in the urgent clinic this week or Monday then with the referral can go to OS who specializes or plastic surgeon which I don't know how long it will take all covered by our health care system. Or can get an apt. with private =not covered by government and pay thru the teeth-hah. But there is another alternative PT . I have asked my PT for an apt. There is a physiotherapy center a couple of blocks over who also deals with this problem.I don't even want to think of my hips--that is becoming the least of my problems now.Oh gee who knew.
     
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  17. CricketHip

    CricketHip FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    I know it's very painful and it's rotten luck to have it flare now, of all times. I guess it makes sense, though. You leaned on them heavily in the first month after the bi lateral THR's.
    Im not sure about your hrealth system and how they do things but I would also call the dental office to ask to be called in sooner with any cancellation. Summer months = last minute cancels.
    Good luck and Im rooting for you!
     
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  18. mikeycat

    mikeycat senior
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    My dentist is on vacation and they offered me dad who was initially my dentist but no way. The son has state of the art equipment and I can watch everything he is doing on a screen and he is skilled in all kinds of cosmetic surgery but best of all I experience no pain.The father I believe hasn't kept up.The last time I was there the pain he inflicted--whoa.Dental here is private for adults but covered by the gov. for kids 10 and under for now.I have insurance for this.The pain in my mouth appears to be related to inflammation.
    It's the hands which are driving me mad.Now I have to cancel my PT apt. at rehab tomorrow because I can't endure the pain from my hands.But on a brighter note I can't complain about my hips.Not walking a country mile unassisted yet but getting there I hope.
     
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  19. CricketHip

    CricketHip FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Oh my,, that makes perfect sense to wait for the son. hahaha
    I think you will do fine with missing PT. the hands are top priority now. hugs..
     
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  20. mikeycat

    mikeycat senior
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    Well I have an apt. with a hand surgeon on Tuesday albeit private but it will be endoscopic and that takes about 10 minutes . My hands were murder last night-no sleep-unsure if we will go to the country and that makes me sad. I can't use a cane now if I wanted because of the hands so I stay in as I walk unassisted and sometimes it feels like I never had surgery- small blessings but I will take it now--hope another shoe doesn't fall.Just another day here at the farm.Hope everyone is doing spectacularly and everyone have a great pain-free week-end doing all the things you like to do.
     
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