THR Now POST-op

[Spex10]

You're not being unreasonable at all @cannygirl . I bet your sister's visit was kindly meant but I'd feel like you after it.
Just try to relax into this recovery. My mantra was always 'this too shall pass'- and whatever it was, it did!

 

[Jaycey]

pronounced that she was sorry that I wasn’t doing so well

Ah - the well meaning relatives (NOT!). I know it's hard to ignore these conversations. Your sister has probably forgotten what recovery was like. In any case, every recovery is different. Please don't be hard on yourself. It is still early days and you are doing just fine.

 

[cannygirl]

Last night was a mixed bag: I went up to bed for the first time after 2 weeks downstairs in a recliner. It was good to be flat but even though my sister (yes the one described earlier!) had lent me her super side body pillow to allow me to sleep on my side, this was not comfortable for more than an hour. Then I had to un-strap the huge thing , while not disturbing sleeping husband, with mounting pain and work out plan B. I am facing a new day relatively sleepless and with more pain. I need to work out a better plan for tonight.

 

[Jaycey]

Try and get some sleep today. The side sleeping will come. It just takes time.

Are you taking any medication for pain at night? Sounds like you are under medicated.

 

[cannygirl]

Thank you Jamey,
I took Tramadol last night but otherwise just Paracetamol during the day, I decided to contact the GP but I am so limited as I cannot take any NSAIDs and had a major adverse reaction to Cox2 . Codeine preparations work to a limited extent but cause major congestion. I feel a bit stuck.

 

[Spex10]

Oh dear. Doesn't sound great but nothing does when you're sleep deprived. Do you have a spare bedroom you could temporarily evict your husband to? Just for the sake of a good stretch out at night to grab what sleep you can?
Sleep during the day if you can. I saw that post operatively we're supposed to have an hour lying down every day. I remember doing that after my knee op with my leg on a graduated series of pillows. It was lovely. Then back to icing and elevating and walking around.

 

[cannygirl]

iwould be happy to evict myself but my husband wants me with him!
my favourite place is a sofa in the conservatory - big sag-bag with supporting cushions for lower legs ‘toes above nose’ ..and back flat. althou it could do with being a bit wider, I could sleep there for hours. I try to do this for at least an hour in the afternoon.

 

[Spex10]

Why not give your husband the body pillow as a substitute for you! I bought one on spec and it's huge. Quite soft cuddly material too.
Seriously, I'm sure your husband wouldn't want you to be so uncomfortable. Just a couple of weeks decent stretched out sleep could make a big difference to how you feel.

 

[cannygirl]

This is the ‘thing’. It attaches with Velcro around the waist, is pretty firm and not squashy...designed specifically for the post hip recovery period! my pref side to lie is the operated side but this is too painful to lie on! My husband is trying to understand my need but it is difficult for anyone who hasn’t experienced this.

 

[Layla]

Not sure how much the “thing” costs. Sounds like you borrowed it. A Body Pillow, which is pretty cheap and can be ordered from Amazon is another option to consider. It can be kicked / pushed off the bed if your tire of it as opposed to fighting with something buckled to your waist when you’re half asleep. I’ve had one since the early weeks of recovery and can’t lay on my side without it. It’s comfy!
I hope your week is a good one!
@cannygirl

 

[cannygirl]

My sister lent it to me as THE ANSWER to side sleeping - it is quite expensive and cumbersome bit apparently keeps you in the ‘correct‘ position. I do have an ordinary body pillow that I bought in Costco years ago but was concerned it might be too soft. Maybe I should try it. My younger sister having had her hip ‘done’ 10 years ago it making sure her big sister is kept right about all things in hip recovery
thank you for you gentler suggestion!

 

[Spex10]

Blimey that's a serious bit of kit! My one is a 5 ft long banana shaped thing. You sort of twine yourself round it. I'm not sure how it will be post op. I'm just going to try whatever might work if it buys me a little sleep.
My Fitbit tells me in extreme detail exactly how much sleep I've had and how many episodes of restlessness. I suspect it might combust after my op!

 

[cannygirl]

I’m going to have a bash with mine (squishy one tonight!

 

[Kiwihipster]

@cannygirl I can see that you’re struggling with the recovery process following this major surgery. It is slower than you want it to be and you are feeling frustrated. Perhaps, like me, you are the kind of person that places high demands and expectations on yourself. I just had to learn to let my expectations go. Whether they be that I should be doing more exercise, or that I should be doing more around the house, or that other people will keep the house looking the way you like it.....

Like you, being outdoors is important for my mental health but remember that you don’t have to restrict yourself to only being outside for walking - after a short walk you can always find a wall or fence to lean against (park benches are probably too low at the moment) and just enjoy the fresh air and maybe even some sunshine. Wishing you all the best as you continue to heal and get stronger.

thank you for this encouragement.
I has an unexpected visit from my younger sister who is a bundle of energy and had a THR 10 years ago. Her visit was well meaning (but given that no one has been able to come into the house for more than a year, and that she lives 100 Mike’s away, it was a shock). she brought some meals, whisked in to check my aids (she is a former OT), pronounced that she was sorry that I wasn’t doing so well ... and left!
I don’t want to be told I’m looking really well, I don’t want to be told that I’m not doing well....I just want to be allowed to be as I am moment to moment, day by day... I am probably being unreasonable here but I need to be just me.

I totally understand where you’re coming from. I didn’t really enjoy getting encouraged by my husband about how well I was doing because (a) in my head, I wasn’t doing as well as I wanted, and (b) I then felt pressure to do well and was afraid I wouldn’t live up to his expectations. Plus I got sick of my operation and recovery being the main focus of our conversation. Also, I didn’t enjoy well-meaning relatives telling me stories of other people’s speedy recoveries! Although those around us are trying to help, this feels like something we need to come to terms with ourselves; we need to feel “permitted” to recover at our own pace. PS in case it wasn’t obvious, I am a terrible patient haha

 

[cannygirl]

Kiwihipster, Thank you for you empathy. You describe exactly my dilemmas - this response helps me to feel more normal and permission to be me. Yesterday, I had a ‘pastoral call’ from someone wanting to know how I am doing, as many well meaning people do, they all want to hear that I’m doing well and moving forward ... Interestingly I have a cousin who has just had major surgery for cancer and occasionally she sends a WhatsApp to say how are you doing out of 10? This gives us a shared, non-explanatory language.... and she is SO mush worse off . I think I may use this scoring system in future for others in recovery

 

[Spex10]

Are you managing to sleep a little better? After my knee ops I've never taken a good night's sleep for granted!
I'm finding your thread helpful in preparing psychologically for recovering from my own op. Btw I found strap on icing gel things online and wondered if one of them might help?

 

[cannygirl]

Hello
I was going to post yesterday as I had a really good night 2 nights ago...I thought I had cracked it...BUT maybe too soon
Good night - after a painful day taking over more of the domestic chores as husband was Vaccinating and I became responsible for evening meal -
First I tried the body pillow (not the ‘thing’ - now banished to the spare room!) lying in my side but not comfortable on the operated side. Next I set up the bed with my trusty sag-bag and rested my legs, bent to about 60 degrees at hip, lying on my back as I do downstairs. Slept like a baby!
Yesterday, I was reaping the effects of too much the day before but, couldn’t really cut down on the domestic stuff... so I didn’t do my walk/exercise. So last night, I tried again but got disturbed and couldn’t get comfy - although it wasn’t really bad - just not good!
Well you asked!!
Yes please I’d like to know about the tie-on ice pack, I love ice at the moment.

 

[Spex10]

Gosh. Nobody can say you aren't trying @cannygirl ! I found the ice thing on Amazon. Just googled it. Sorry I don't know how to post links. I was looking at the gel packs I had for my knees and couldn't see how I could use them for my hip.
Your 'sag bag' sounds like a bean bag? Sounds better than my piles of pillows for leg raising. In some ways I wish my op was sooner. Too long to think about it but I know I'm lucky having had the choice. We've got 3 mini breaks before then as proper holidays will be off the horizon for ages.
Do you really have to do so many domestic chores? Don't be a fussy housewife, the chores will still be there when you're so much better.

 

[cannygirl]

Well, by chores I mean essential washing, meals - I’d forgotten how many little trips / moves there are in the kitchen to make a simple soup / cheese bread meal. I guess husband has done everything for the last 3 weeks and he is not that kind of guy! Just now vaccinating in morning and then on a virtual 4 day conference that should have been in KL Malaysia. I feel it is pay-back time!
Maybe I should tell him like it is

I was determined to get a ‘proper’ walk this morning. Only I think I’ve overdone it - only 30 mins but up and down (everything around here is up and down) I’m a bit of an idiot really and now I’m looking for more pain relief

 

[cannygirl]

this is what works for me! You are right ‘bean bag’ : this completely supports / takes the weight of my legs. My back can then lie flat. I’ve worked out a way of recreating this in bed as I still can’t lie on my side for any length of time.