Not Emotionally ready

[musings]

Hi Ken, I just joined and read your response to my post. I didn't know how to reply. I am having the surgery in Connecticut, not in New York.

I am slated to have it on the 20th of June, only one week from now and am close to as terrified as you are. What you are feeling is perfectly normal and believe me I went through 4 years of hemming and hawing and etc. It all boiled down to being terrified.

I too had the same feelings. Even though I have some health issues such as being still overweight and having COPD, I live a pretty full life having a boat and a home and etc. and taking care of all of them on my own. I am also a photographer. But, Ken, over the 4 years, because I could not slow my life down and drag my let like Chester from Gunsmoke (not sure if you remember that show), I ended up getting a rolling walker....a God-send to be sure. I actually moved an entire apartment contents ... well almost ... with it.

But the fact remains that my quality of life (except that I am a pretty chipper camper) has suffered drastically and the pain that I have endured throughout those years leaves me exhausted sometimes. I can't walk down to the ocean when it is low tide. I can't dance anymore ... and look graceful .... I can't do photoshoots with people because I can't set up lights and use the camera .... I can't take my grandaughter to the park because I can't run after the tyke if she takes off on her own adventure.

I have weighed this saying that "well, I know I am alive and functional and living now." How do I know what will come. They have this down to a science now...really. We have come a long way. Throughout all of these procedures and blood tests and cardio pre tests and all of that, I have come to trust my doctors (and believe me I worked for a hospital and didn't trust anyone). They want me to live and thrive and come through it.

Stuff happens but stuff can happen driving on the highway. You are younger than I am, in good health.

I know that when this works out for me, I can lose these extra pounds because I will be able to walk to the shoreline, walk in the park, do the photoshoots.

Only you can determine what is best for you and no one would ever fault you for your decision. Good luck.

 

[Hip Hip Hooray!]

I was terrified before having my hips replaced. I couldn't read the threads. It made me too nervous. I just focused on getting my house prepared, and doing what I could at the gym. I was actually hysterical about it. I had such horrible visions. None of them came true. My surgery went very smoothly, and I didn't have any problems in my recovery. My friend advised me to stay ahead of the pain, which really worked. I took my meds on schedule, and followed the Bonesmart mantras.

I understand your feelings, but I think you are imagining the worst. I did a lot of yoga breathing, prayer, and meditation. Your joint is diseased, and it gets worse. (sometimes very quickly.)

People told me I would come through the surgery beautifully, and they were right. It helps to have a good support system. Try not to read about people who encounter difficulties. I was terrified of blood clots, infection, etc. None of those things happened. You can do it. You'll be great. That's what my friend told me, and she was right.

 

[BizzyLizzy]

@Hip Hip Hooray! thank you so much for that. So nice to read your calm, positive message. I'm due my op on 22nd June and trying so hard not to be terrified. I am also focusing on the post op practicalities and doing what I can at the gym. I am planning to work with my friend who is a yoga teacher, this week on getting the breathing exercises going for op day. I have an irrational fear that I will have a complete meltdown on the day, and in some way this will stop them from doing the operation! I have a good support system and looking forward (in more rational moments!) to being pain-free and able to go back to doing things I enjoy.

 

[Hip Hip Hooray!]

@BizzyLizzy, It helps to tell them how afraid you are. The anesthesiologist offered me a tranquilizer, but I did the yoga breathing instead. Several of my professional dancer friends have also had their hips replaced. One woman sent me a message right before my surgery that really helped me. She said, "You'll fall asleep, and then wake up in recovery. It's a snap." It's true. It's like when you fall asleep at night. When I woke up it was all over, and both hips were done. I hadn't felt a thing. Concentrating on the recovery gave me a positive focus.

The other thing that helped me was to remind myself that I had one of the top surgeons. I knew that I was in good hands. I trusted him, I was just panicky. It can actually be a very positive experience. Mine was.