TKR Need Help and Encouragement, please...

[mrs cricklewood]

Have read all the above posts and yes I was appalled too about how you were treated...I hope things are getting better for you now ...Take care X

 

[SAS]

I had problems with my first TKR and needed manipulation, which worked really well, I have a good ROM on both knees now and enough for all my needs. I hope you can get yours sorted too.

 

[Ms.fixit]

Hello, BEG! I am so very sorry that you've had the devastating loss of your kitty, and so soon after your husband passed. So many things have happened to you all at once..please be gentle with yourself and try not to fret about your knee. It really is going to be fine, it just takes forever.

As does grieving, though we wish it were different. Bear in mind that your losses will have some bearing on your rate of healing as well, and again, don't panic, be gentle with yourself. (I wish that you had not had such horrific and negligent treatment when you had the surgery.. jeez,even worse than mine..) The loss of your husband alone is a three year grieving period, at least! And I do empathize about the kitty..I have a lot of pets, having helped run an animal Shelter for 12 years;one year I lost four animals one after the other and I thought I would die right along with them.( I highly recommend an anti-depressant at this time if your therapist has not already suggested it..you are under enormous stress)

Both situations take time, time, time..and neither will be rushed.

My knee has a good 95-100 degree bend now..I haven't done any "PT" since week 12..just my normal workouts and living life. My knee still gets interior swelling after any major activity and that will reduce my ROM for a few days til it settles down again. Most days I do stairs easily and the car is not problem, but when I have swelling, it is still a bit tough to do either. If your knee is "catching" still, that means you have some inflammation and swelling as well..so ease up and don't be so hard on yourself. Again, I empathize..my Mom has Alzheimers and my husband has Dementia, and I have no other family to help me, either. I make use of support groups like this one for those things and it helps a great deal, especially with my mother, whom I have cared for for 18 years..she had a brain injury before the Alzheimers. Try to stay where your feet are and just do things a day at a time..don't look too far ahead..help will come as it's needed and you will get through this!

 

[tashia]

Oh it so good to hear from you. I think of you so often. when my husband died I to didn't have any friends and it does take so much out of you. As time goes by the days won't seem so long and the night will get a little better. With working with your parents that is so ruff. At least they know that you love them and that makes you a very special person. I do wish I was closer but it is what it is. Have you thought of going to a chruch that has a support group for widows. I would try first no more than every other week or once a month. The reason is you have so much going on you don't need overload. I also lost my dog a year after my husband I was destroyed. He was my rock at that time. I did get a another one a couple months later and was so glad I did. I don't know if getting a cat is harder because of the one you have may have problems. I really don't know much about cats. However I am looking for a pet and I am open to a loving pet. I do hope that you can get your mother in Assistance living it will help you so much getting rid of some of the challenges that you have. I am so glad that you are seeing a cousler. It will take a little time to feel more corable. Remember as each day goes by that puts you closer to recover. I still have a knee that is trying to get better. My hip is in recover I think, but somedays it does hurt a little. Time is on our side. We are strong and will make it. At times I see a snail flying by and call the snalil police. Hee, Hee, Is your knee still swollen? What I have found out is when I have swelling my roon is terrible. I do hope that you are not in physical pain. If so please have the doctor do something for it. It can make you so tired. Somehow I remember you knit. I do hope that you and are doing a little. In time you get back to hobbies. I still not if full gear but getting there. Life is slow and being slow I realize that this makes it so I don't make as many mistakes. You are in my heart and a dear friend even though we havn't meet in person. Please keep me posted how you are doing. If you don't want to post here you can send me a praviite letter through this site. Please remember you are very special and that we care. Make sure you hug your because their is healing power in that. Stay strong my friend, Tashia

 

[hhilltop]

Hello Beg,

Oh, you have so much on your platter. Encouraging words from afar seems so little when you are facing so much. Grieving is a huge stressor - and you are doing it twice - once for your husband and now for your cat. I do hope you can find something you truly enjoy that can give your heart an uplift. A bubble bath, a glass of wine to enjoy while you listen to some favorite music, a glass of milk with a chocolate chip cookie while you look through a photo album - you know what you like better than my guessing - the point is treat yourself to something special and savor it. Like Tashia, I recommend checking into a good church. I also recommend prayer.

I read a book years ago by Mel Carothers, called Prison to Praise. In his case he was literally in prison. In your case, I'd say you are trapped in circumstances that could easily feel like a prison. I don't know where you are in terms of a relationship with God, I recommend m.godlife.com/love/ I do know there was a real breakthrough for me when I took up Mel's advice and started giving praise to God when the circumstances looked rotten. PTLA - Praise the Lord Anyway. Once a driver cut me off in a way that really upset me. I turned a corner and the license plate that stared at me was PTLA. I laughed despite of the wicked streak that wanted to pour forth from me. Oh, I didn't want to at that moment, but that lesson has stuck with me and over and over when things want to get me down, I've learned it does my heart a world of good to turn that moment around with a round of gratitude to God for many other blessings He has provided. I'll attempt to suggest some things to start your efforts - be grateful simple things - food, water, air, a home. Be grateful to have had a long lived relationship with your parents. Be grateful for soft cuddly playful balls of fur that can amuse you with their antics. Be grateful for the encouragements you receive from your counsellor and Bonesmart friends.

I am another one who was stuck with low ROM for a long while. It was 3 months before I could drive after my surgery. I made gains in flexion, but lost grounds in extension after my MUA at 2 months. I got stuck at 105 for several months - and I'm someone who has led a very active sports life. I started making progress when I heeded the words of Bonesmart - not the words of my early PT's - gentle and easy wins the race. Someone above already mentioned the Turtle and the Hare. I did get to 120 for my one year appt. It wasn't a fast race. It takes patience. It was the turtle's pace, when I've most often been a hare. It is just like the patience your mother needs. By the way, my mother is in a similar stage of life. My parents will soon be entering an assisted living facility for similar reasons, though she is 700 miles from me. Be grateful you can be there for your parents.

I'll be praying for you and your parents. Hope your heart can find the uplifting encouragement you need to sustain your recovery progress.

 

[BrnEydGrl]

Oh, such beautiful messages. I really needed that, thank you so much. I just feel too isolated right now and watching my remaining cat walk from room to room looking for his brother just kills me! I truly am thinking of getting him a friend real soon, his depression is so sad and it makes me sadder!
Anyway, I have been running back and forth taking care of mom and step dad. Doc added some more blood pressure meds and I have been monitoring her blood pressure since her ER visit. Been having some problems with step dad and hallucinations. UGH...sometimes I wonder how much farther I can be pushed? I know they say, god only gives you what you can handle....but....wow!
Had to see my oncologist yesterday, two years cancer free, that was a plus, yea! Then she says....ummmm your heart murmur is back. Yikes, that is something brand new and was hoping it was just heard wrong last time. I never had a murmur before. Geeze, anyway, more darn tests.....chest xrays, pap smears, mamo....and now they want a sonogram of my heart. I am sooooooooooooooooooooo tired. I said no..not now, please, one thing at a time. She agreed. I think I need a moratorium on doctors.
I just want this knee to bend more! I don't know, maybe it is between 95 and 100 I guess. Last time measured it was 95, months ago, and I know it is better. The gain is so minimal but it is gaining. My flexion has always been perfect. The x-rays did not show any problem but I had terrible swelling. I still have some, and gets worse at times. I have no infection per the new doc and blood work. Honestly I just feel I cannot go through life with this bend but also know I cannot handle another surgery at this time. I still have no one to help. (big sigh)
OK...enough of my pity party.....it is just that my other cat actually listened to me....LOL....sounds crazy but he would talk back. hahaha I miss him terribly. He was by my husbands side when he passed...

 

[tashia]

Two years of being Cancer Free. Oh, that is so GREAT. Things are getting better! I know its hard to realize that but I wish you could look at all your sucess. Leg is better, Yes. Cancer Free, WOW! You still have a cat to talk too! I know its overwhelming with your Mother but that is part of life. Please take care of that Heart. Come and visit us more often, you have friends here, and we care. We are here 24, seven. Take care my Friend, Tashia Fellow Cancer survior

 

[Josephine]

I just feel too isolated right now and watching my remaining cat walk from room to room looking for his brother just kills me! it is just that my other cat actually listened to me... LOL ....sounds crazy but he would talk back

Not at all! My cat I had put to sleep last March used to talk to me all the time. The one I have left does a bit but it's more the non-verbal kind which isn't quite as cute! I'm thinking of getting my old boy a nice sexy little girl kitten to be sweet to!

I just want this knee to bend more! I don't know, maybe it is between 95 and 100 I guess. The gain is so minimal but it is gaining. The x-rays did not show any problem but I had terrible swelling. I still have some, and gets worse at times.

'terrible swelling'? hmm - any idea why that is? Work? something else? But you're improving - that's good. Hang on to that. You won't be a year out for another month yet. I suggest you read this to see what two other members found on their year anniversaries....
It's never too late to get more ROM!
It's worth the wait for ROM

 

[Dhare63]

Wow Beg, so sorry on the loss of your kitty. Our Socks was 16 and we had been trying to save her but to no avail. My husband sobbed and sobbed, it was so sad. These little furry friends are such great comfort and always love you no matter what. It's okay to grieve them, they are family too.

Wait a while and find a new kitty to bring home. It will be good for your other cat and for you too.

On the knee, well I think you are doing what you can. Slow and steady is sometimes the only way.

I do hope things improve with your folks. It's so hard.

Just know your friends are never far away!

Dawn

 

[BrnEydGrl]

Hello again!
I am still taking it a day at a time. I guess the loss of a pet is even harder facing it alone. I have lost pets in the past. I am ok, tough going, but ok. His sweet brother needs my attention constantly and am thinking of rescuing another.
Again, thank you so much for the encouragement. I just get so discouraged. Josephine, I am so sorry, the terrible swelling, was directly "after" the surgery, for many months. When I was post-surgery I asked one of the nurses why....and she said "all of his patients have major swelling, he will not use drains." He also would not use compression socks or the "bending machine." Did not believe in them. It gets my blood boiling thinking about it, and him nor anyone from his office visited me in the hospital to ask why I had such terrible swelling.
I have minor swelling now, usually only when I have a day in which I am on my feet too much. My pain management doc also suggested not to push the PT as far as I do. I still see pain management as I am taking some meds for my back and ankle, not much, only as needed, but did want to keep in contact with them to make sure they "have my back" if I need more surgery. I hate to even THINK of that.
I read all of your posts over and over when I get down.....I thank you all for that....from the bottom of my heart.
"BEG"

 

[mrs cricklewood]

my heart goes out to you..I had to have my darling old staffy dog Jethro put to sleep last November and I am still devastated ...I am crying enough recovering from my knee replacement as it is , but if I think of Jethro that just gives me another reason to cry... The loss of a loved pet is one of the worse things you can go through I reckon. I still have his collar on my bedside table....Plus reading about all the things your surgeon didn't do ..the mind boggles. Man oh man no wonder you are fed up and upset..sending you love and hugs. Oh and good on you for thinking about rescuing again...over here in Australia there are so many unwanted pets dumped at rescues and shelters it is appalling ! Here is a photo of my precious Jethro .......

 

[BrnEydGrl]

Ohhhhhh, sweet Jethro. Have you ever read the Rainbow Bridge poem? My vet sent that to me with Forget me not seeds to plant in memory.

 

[BrnEydGrl]

https://rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm Just in case there is someone that has never read it.

 

[mrs cricklewood]

oh yeah I sure have. pass the tissues please....The rainbow bridge facebook page made me up this to keep....They certainly tear your heart out when they have to leave us............ * sigh * XXXX

 

[hhilltop]

Beg,

Two years cancer free - YIPPEE! Mom is now close to 35 years cancer free. There can be long life after cancer!

I'm glad you have your Bonesmart friends to turn to. My OS didn't like CPM machines either. He said that the research evidence didn't show that they made a significant impact. After I learned about them and I had a manipulation, I did insist on using it for a few weeks. It made me feel better to know I was trying hard to get my leg to bend more, but in retrospect I think my aggressive scar tissue issues might have liked it better if I hadn't been trying to bend quite so much. The Bonesmart mantra of being gentle fits with slow and steady wins the race.

Sorry to hear about the heart murmur issue - you really didn't need one more medical worry.

If you are up to one more critter in the house, I think your cat would enjoy another animal. We opted for a dog to go along with the cat as we missed our faithful watchdog. If you've always been a cat person, another cat makes sense.

Keep us posted! Love, prayers, and hugs and kisses for you and your folks.

 

[Butterfly]

mrs cricklewood Your Jethro is lovely. He looks just like my Harold. Harold is about 12 (rescue doggie, so no one is sure how old he is). He is absolutely the best, gentlist, most loving and affectionate dog I've ever had, which is surprising seeing the deplorable conditions he came from. He was scared and skinny when he first came to live with me, but after putting on a few pounds, getting rid of fleas, etc. and discovering he had his very own clean dry soft bed, he has devoted his life to taking care of me and making sure I am all right. No matter where I am in the house, he can be found no more than a few feet from me, looking at me as if I hung the moon. I do not know what I will do when he crosses over! He is my "soul doggie." I've lost other dogs in my life -- one of the saddest things about dogs is that from the minute they enter your life, you know they will leave -- but there is something very special about Harold.

My first lab cross dog. a black one, was named Jethro Pugh, after the football player. He was very special , too, and I though when I lost him I would surely die of grief, but I didn't. I went out got a pair of black lab cross rescues to come and live with me. And on and on, until the present.

With the love you obviously have for dogs, you should consider giving another one a home. Black ones are usually the last to be adopted, as I'm sure you know, and one with "pittie" characteristics faces a slim chance of finding another home. You should try offering your love to another one, in honor of the lovely years you had with Jethro. There's nothing like a cold nose in the face to get you moving in the morning!

Peace and love to you.

 

[mrs cricklewood]

hi butterfly ( I don't know how to tag your name !! ) ( guess what ...

my first name is Vanessa which means butterfly in Greek! ) Thanks for that lovely post..I love the name Harold for a doggie too . And what an angel you are to rescue all your pets . Yes we can get very attached to our beloved pets. We do have another doggie Winston ( we got him when Jethro was about 12 as we new the inevitable would happen sooner or later ) and not having kids me and my hubby love dogs in particular and knew we could never face coming home to an empty house. But once my knee is abit better ( hurry up knee!! ) I am hoping we can foster a rescue dog...there is a staffy and bully breed rescue here and they have so many unwanted dogs that were once treasured pets...it is so sad....when will people realize pets are NOT disposable ! They have quite a few dogs stuck in kennels too due to lack of fosters, so that is my goal..I just wish my knee would make an amazing sudden improvement over night ! * sigh * Give Harold a big cuddle and kiss for me ! Here is a pic of Winston and Jethro taken a year ago.....( hope it is ok to post all our pet photos on here !! ) Take care. XXXX

 

[mrs cricklewood]

oops I don't know how that photo got posted in the middle of my writing ..!

 

[Butterfly]

It's a lovely photo of your dogs. They are both beautiful dogs and they look so gentle and happy. I couldn't live without dogs in my life. They are pure, unconditional love.

My Harold likes to lay on the couch with all his feet in the air, looking soulful and begging me to please pet his tummy! He is a character.

Peace and love to you,

Milli

 

[mrs cricklewood]

is this how Harold sleeps? this was Winston the other night...! X