Become an Insider

PKR My Drama Queen Patellofemoral Knee

Backs are the bane of getting older. Mine likes to complain about doing housework these days. Like you say, just rest more often. The work still gets done.

Have a Happy Turkey Day!
 
In the season of Thanksgiving, greatful even to have a bad back, and aches or pains! :dancy::spin::friends:
 
I agree with Suzi about the backaches. After skipping the last two years from messing with wood for the outdoor furnace, my back is fussing at me now after firing it back up! Of course, we'll all two years older, :yikes:, so we're blessed for what we can do!

I bet your house is sparkling! Having company is always a good reason to spruce things up a bit more than usual! Enjoy your family and rest today, if you can!
 
My house is sparkling! :rotfl:

I have never liked cleaning. I was better when I was younger, but now that my body hurts I only do what I have to. I do keep it fairly neat, though.

My mother in law was a houseworkaholic which has made me really dislike cleaning, as my house was never good enough for her. :gaah:

We would go to her house for dinner and she would spend most of the after dinner time doing the dishes that didn’t go in the dishwasher, wiping down the kitchen, I don’t even know what all else, but I’d be looking at the back of her while the rest of us visited at the table. (you couldn’t help her much at this point) and I wondered why she didn’t spend time with us. That much cleaning didn’t have to happen right away or every night.

Interesting that that’s the main thing I remember about her. Every time I get ready for company I can feel her watching me.

When I have company for dinner, I clean up after they go home. It doesn’t take me long, either.

What a contrast we always were.
 
I got talking to someone today who told me she’s having a knee replacement soon.

I told her to read Bonesmart, and she said, the horror stories? I said, well, some people have a bad outcome, I’m one of them, and she said she’d heard that I wasn’t doing well. I also said there are good outcomes, too. She said her sister had a very good outcome. I told her to read SusieShoes’s thread.

I told her about our gentle approach and then not let PTs force bend her knee.

I told her Celle’s surgeon doesn’t allow any exercises the first month because he feels we need that month to start healing.

You know how I often say everyone tells us how to recover from a knee replacement? Well after I got home I realized I had been “one of those people!” :yikes:

I hope she does come to Bonesmart.
 
Jockette said:
My mother in law was a houseworkaholic which has made me really dislike cleaning, as my house was never good enough for her. :gaah:

We would go to her house for dinner and she would spend most of the after dinner time doing the dishes that didn’t go in the dishwasher, wiping down the kitchen, I don’t even know what all else, but I’d be looking at the back of her while the rest of us visited at the table. (you couldn’t help her much at this point) and I wondered why she didn’t spend time with us. That much cleaning didn’t have to happen right away or every night.

Interesting that that’s the main thing I remember about her. Every time I get ready for company I can feel her watching me.
Click to expand...
Are you sure we didn't have the same mother-in-law?
Mine was exactly like that.

She would be vacuuming the house at 6 a.m. every day, regardless of people sleeping.
She cleaned the Venetian blinds every Sunday and whipped dishes out from in front of people as soon as they finished eating, even if others were still eating.

When my husband and I had been to church to set the date and time for our wedding, we walked into her house and told her the date and time. Her reply? "I don't care what you do. Get off my clean kitchen floor."

I would spend days cleaning before she came to stay and yet she would walk into the house, run her finger around and find the one place I had missed.

I didn't cry when she died!
 
Celle, I cried for what could have been.

It’s sad some people are like that.
 
My daughter and her family stayed with us several nights this week and last night we stayed up late after everyone else went to bed. We talked for 3 hours! As with most of us, we both have a bunch of concerns.

As I told her about my stronger than some emotional response to my surgery and recovery she made an interesting comment. She acknowledged that my PT and surgeon did hurt me physically and that was bound to take a toll on me, both physically and emotionally. Then she said, but they weren’t trying to hurt you and I realized that was true. There was no malicious intent. Just misinformation/difference of opinion.

She said it in a caring tone of voice, and for the first time, something changed in my mind and I realized that she was right.

I think I’ve been so wrapped up in my feeling of hurt and injustice at their (and others) approach that I could only see and feel that.

While I fully disagree with my therapists approach, they were all caring, nice people. Not at all arrogant like some I’ve read about from other members here.

Hopefully this thought will process through my brain and help me relax enough to try to move forward with more opinions. I know way more now than I did in March of 2017, and I will make sure things go differently next time.
 
Isn't it eye opening when our children teach us?

It sounds like you have a new perspective on your knee. I'm so happy for you! You'll do it in your time, when you decide.
What a great Thanksgiving you had!
 
I really always knew that, but I was very angry when I found out that it wasn’t necessary. And reading how some other members have worse experiences than mine just added to that outrage.

Hopefully with more time and understanding I can come to a better mental place to move forward. :prayer:
 
I'm glad you and your daughter had that talk, @Jockette .

Isn't it great when your children turn into adults and you can talk to them like that? My daughter is the most sensible and caring person I know.
 
Well, I’m spite of the issues my knee has, it’s held up pretty well this Thanksgiving weekend.

My son in law moved some furniture for me, he switched the dresser in my sewing room with a big wardrobe style cabinet with shelves we had the guest room. Last night and today I’ve been reorganizing not just those two areas but two closets. I take a lot of breaks and the knee is doing way better than my back! I’ve been walking back and forth throughout the house, so definitely getting a bunch of ADLs in!

I wish this means I’ve turned a corner (long time coming!) but I’m not counting on it. I’m just happy it’s doing this well for now.

Our weekend was really nice, the 7 children, ages 4-15, did well together and I’m thankful they all like leggos!! They were at the dining room table for quite a while Thanksgiving Day, and I was sorry to tell them we needed to set the table for dinner.

My 2 daughters did quite a bit in the kitchen, I think all I did was the mashed potatoes and gravy! It was great!
 
SusieShoes said:
But in their efforts to be helpful, people will often repeat what they’ve heard, not what they know.
Click to expand...
Susie posted this on
@grandma chris ‘s thread.

I am beginning to have a better attitude about this than I’ve had. I used to get so inwardly angry when people told me these things, even people who’ve had TKR.

I live in a 55+ community and at 62, I’m one of the youngest ones here. There have been many knees replaced in this community. I found little understanding and encouragement from these people because I haven’t had a “regular” recovery. I pulled away from almost everyone because I was embarrassed that I wasn’t coming along “as I should”. I was also following BoneSmart’s approach and didn’t want to admit it to them since they all believe in the PT. And I wasn’t having a great recovery that would prove to them that PT isn’t necessary.

As we’ve all been told not to compare ourselves to others, we all had different tweaks to how our surgery was done. In my case, I did not have the same surgery as my neighbors. They had totals. I had a somewhat controversial Patellofemoral and a lateral release. And things have not gone well for me, which isn’t my fault, though my neighbors imply otherwise.

If and when I have a revision, that will tell us why I didn’t have a good outcome. And that will show them all that it isn’t my fault.
 
Our society is so very win/lose. If you do the right things at the right time in the right way or order, or with the right amount of energy or investment, you will win. Or so we're programmed to believe. Which many also think means if you don't win... you must not have done the right things, or invested enough effort. That's so unfair, because trying isn't the only thing going on.

Your neighbors, like most people, want to believe -- and may need to believe -- that recovery from a joint replacement is something they can control. People who do the right things will succeed. In most cases this is true, though of course we differ about what the right thing is. My belief is that the right thing is the thing that works. :wink: For me that was the BoneSmart way. But if other people got their results a different way, that's the "way" they're going to believe in.

Your neighbors prefer to think you didn't do the right things, rather than that what happened to you could happen to anyone, like them. :skep:

They really need to stop comparing surgeries!
 
I'm glad you are feeling better about your opinionated neighbors. I think many have no idea what to say, so they say what they've heard most from others. I don't think they intend any harm and are just making conversation.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Active Antimicrobial Hydrogel

Members online

No members online now.
Total: 741 (members: 0, guests: 741)

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom