As I come towards 100 days after my Bilateral Knee replacement.... I wanted to capture the immense journey I have been on.
At 100 days ago I had an operation to replace both knees with two new ones. The surgeon asked me to have two at the same time and warned me it takes a lot out of the patient.
They've rarely been painful but they've often been sore, stiff, tight, pulling, swollen, weak, uncertain and unreliable.
Since the operation Ive had to learn how to:
- Stand with a frame, crutches, a single crutch, a stick without anything, on the left and on the right leg.
- Walk forward, backwards, left, right, in the dark (surpringly difficult) turn around left and right - With two limps then one and then none
- Step up then down, then down stairs and up - with crutches, with one crutch, without crutches, holding on and not holding on... still working on a smooth down
- Bend the left, the right, lunge and squat, sit and get up, stand on my toes, stand on only my left leg and my right leg. Bend 90 degress on each leg, 100 and 110 and 120 each leg.
- Extend each leg straight
- Lie in bed, get out of bed, sleep on my back. - try it its really hard.
- Strengthen each leg, right left front and back through routine and rigorous exercise
- Care for two big scars, with 29 staples each leg - and having them taken out with a staple remover, from sore and sensitive to calmer and still healing.
- Go through withdrawal from morphine, then later dihydrocodeine and then later codeine.
- Cope when my knees swell or when my left leg decides to collapse
- How to manage insomnia, constipation, sickness, lack of appetite,
- And how to manage complete exhaustion- from nowhere it would hit me like a punch, and how to respond to this when i wanted to do something else
- Develop even more patience - ( I thought I had a lot already )
- How to miss family get togethers and friend's party because i had to look after myself.
Now i have to learn how to:
Drive without my legs swelling
Reset my sleep back to sleeping through the night
Strengthen my left leg
Develop my stamina
Later i have to learn again how to
Walk in heels
Dance
Ride a horse
Cycle outside again
I have had a few times of feeling fed up or feeling stuck- over 100 days I have sometimes felt it's like a very long drawn out time.
But very importantly I was never frightened even in those nights alone without sleep, when I lay there wondering if I could do this I didnt have fear weighing on me.
In all my challenges I tried to remember that everyone ever diagnosed with cancer would change places with me in a heart beat. Having the operation was not something I chose but it was my journey and mine alone. Others supported me and that helped a lot. When there was no choice, i just took the next step even if that was to rest and ice. Thank you Bonesmart people. Xx