@TangoGunn You may find it helpful to use YouTube - it’s a massive collection of videos on the internet posted by private and public sources - to start looking at demonstrations of “how to” do various things after hip replacement surgery. Many large, famous orthopedic practices put reference videos online to educate patients. There is even a well-known series by a team of physical therapists, who demonstrate a wide variety of useful techniques and use of various aids. In this case, I would go to YouTube and type “How to use a transfer bench after hip surgery” in the search field and see what comes up.
The internet search will give you a general idea as a starting point. Your wife’s surgeon, PT, and OT will customize that general idea to something far more specific to her, once it becomes clear after surgery where her starting point for recovery is, and when you’ve had a chance to explain any specific details they need to know about your home environment.
In the Recovery threads, you’ll find a collection of articles posted by our moderators for patient reference. I found them incredibly helpful, as I was trying to envision what my recovery might be like, so I could plan for it. I would point you to the one that’s called “Activity Progression,” where you will see that the first week at home is normally quite a quiet one, often spent in a recliner or equivalent, elevating and icing, taking medications by the clock, resting as much as humanly possible, interspersed with short trips to the bathroom and kitchen.
Right now, we’re sorting out those specific things in my house: the nesting spot, the cushion for elevation, the icing equipment, medication tracker, making the nest better for sleep, clearing a safe path to the primary bathroom and the kitchen. We know we can’t predict how the recovery will go, and we know we can sort things out as we go along. Some other things we decided to prepare in advance: some of my favorite comfort foods stocked in the freezer and relief care givers so my husband can get his rest along the way, too.
Living inside a body that’s failed can be very distressing. Fear of an unknown future can’t be resolved - it can only be endured. Chronic pain and the insomnia that so often accompany make us feel like we are fighting with one hand tied behind our back. There are times when my husband reaches for my hands, and I see myself through his eyes - not painfully broken the way I feel inside, but still the woman he has always loved and always will. And then he smiles, and I can believe that all will be well, no matter how frightened I feel, because surely he could not smile at me that way with such warmth and peace if he were not confident that I will come through just fine.
There are many things I need help with these days, it’s true. But I could not cope without my husband’s confidence and comfort. In your posts, I can see your tender hearted desire to do much for a dear wife who is facing a tough challenge. I hope you keep in mind small loving touches and looks can mean even more than walkers and transfer benches.