Understood
@zinfandel. You definitely have a pain management problem. My BP went so high they called in a heart specialist and it was stress. Are you taking an anti-anxiety drug of some kind? Have you ever tried breathing from your stomach for that anxiety. Sometimes it gets so high it feeds on itself and that sounds like what is happening to you. Lay back and take a deep breath filling up your stomach but not proceeding to your chest; keep your chest clear. Then slowly release the breath. My PT taught me to belly breath and it helped me control the stress; still does.
I know how afraid you are. You've had a horrific time of it. Surgery is not easy and the first few days can be terrible. But trust that this too will pass. I had about 24 full hours of pain as you describe. My doctor uses a "pain bomb" which is an implant directly into the pelvis area releasing a strong pain relief locally and it worked like a dream. Once it got going with the automatic pump releasing a combination of pain meds. I never used a pain pill again on a regular basis. So once your pain is managed you will be able to relax, get some rest, and begin your recovery. I know it is hard but have patience and keep demanding what you need from your doctor/and or your pain management team. It's work and an advocate would help because you are tired and in pain and afraid. Can your SO make regular visits to hospital and speak for you to those in charge of your recovery? It is so comforting to have an advocate who knows your problems and will speak for you.
Are you asking for assistance to go to the bathroom. The fact that you are walking there is progress. I wasn't allowed to get out of bed without assistance, "Call, Don't Fall" signs were everywhere. Sounds like bathroom problems are about unfamiliar equipment. Are you using the walker?
To be frank, zinfandel, sounds to me like anxiety has got a tight hold on you and taken over your recovery. Your pain and fear are real. Somehow, you have to concentrate on relaxing and the doctor has to provide you with managed pain. But pills are not enough. . .attitude is everything now. This is not to make light of what you are feeling but it is important to understand that some times we can be our worst enemy. I was; I am! Sometimes I just need to be told (and Bone Smart does this so well!) to stop telling myself to be afraid.
It is lovely that you have such fine support at home. Your BF is a gem! You haven't mentioned PT yet, your walking. Nor, the lessons on getting in and out of the car and managing stairs. Today is the 12th. Your surgery was the 9th, they should be talking about when you will go home. But you won't be going home until your pain is managed, your heart rate is controlled and you can walk an acceptable distance and manage the car, the steps and certain aspects of your daily life.
It would help us greatly to know more details of how recovery is going for you. We are getting vague impressions of your life on the other side, zinfandel, try to tell us what is happening with more detail, when, where, what and how. . .more like a story line.
Meanwhile, someone will always be here to walk with you through the pain or the progress with care and loving counseling. Hang on and trust that your situation will be better in brighter days ahead. Take a belly breath and relax though and let it happen. Lots of hugs your way and a bundle of sunflowers.
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