TKR Forever hopeful - gimpy no more!
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Toothfairy
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Hi Sarah, great news about your improved sleep. 
I hope the chiropractor can help you with your back and maybe even give you some advice about your leg pain.
It is great to see you making steady progress,
Take care and go steadily. Keep those muscle relaxers handy,
Hugs, Toothfairy x
I hope the chiropractor can help you with your back and maybe even give you some advice about your leg pain.
It is great to see you making steady progress,
Take care and go steadily. Keep those muscle relaxers handy,
Hugs, Toothfairy x
kimejen
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Hi Sarah, thanks for the information about inner part of the knee pain. Great to know why I'm experiencing it. I've been doing more exercise as instructed by PT and today it's feeling a bit sore. Will cut back today and rest it a bit more. Take care. Hope today is a good day for you. 
Toothfairy
Insider
Hi Sarah, I hope things are still going well for you,
Hugs, Toothfairy x
Hugs, Toothfairy x
Toothfairy
Insider
Hello Sarah, how are you doing? Have you been spending ,more time with the horses?
I hope you are making steady progress and sleeping better,
Hugs, Toothfairy x 
I hope you are making steady progress and sleeping better,
Hugs, Toothfairy x
OP
OP
forevergimpy
senior
Thanks ladies kimejen and Toothfairy for checking in! I wish I had a wonderful reason for not keeping this thread updated (like I am feeling so great I'm out enjoying life) but the truth is I am in a bit of a slump and throwing a good old fashioned pity party.
I will start by saying that I am sleeping better these days and that is a HUGE success! There were times when I wondered if I'd ever sleep well again, and I can say that while it's not perfect, it is so much better than before. The only thing I can really complain about now is that I sleep so soundly that I stay in the same position for several hours and that results in a very stiff knee in the morning (or for those midnight potty runs).
My back continues to be a challenge and it seems that at the moment, I'm not comfortable sitting (due to back) and not yet comfortable for standing for long lengths of time (due to knee). So the days drag on with me uncomfortably changing from sitting, to walking, to laying down watching HGTV and wishing I had a home with less stairs.
I am not yet driving, because my PT has yet to release me and I am still taking Vicodin every 6 hours (despite me trying to wean down several times).
I am not sure, but I think my IT band is too tight which is causing a very strong pain on the lateral side of my knee when I attempt to move my leg while laying on my side (like in bed or on the couch). I've told my PT and she worked it a little bit, which helped for a few days but is now back again.
I am working on trying to listen to my knee and not overdo it (which is so much harder than it sounds). It's interesting, when I first stand up it's very stiff and takes a while to loosen up. Once loose, it feels pretty good but after I've been up for 15-20 minutes it starts to stiffen back up again which I'm sure is swelling, but it strange because it's new to me which I didn't expect at 7 weeks out.
There is no doubt I am much, much better than I was in the first 3 weeks, but I am very acutely aware of how far I still have to go. (This is where the patience comes in handy huh?) I just feel like such a sloth laying/sitting around all day.
I will start by saying that I am sleeping better these days and that is a HUGE success! There were times when I wondered if I'd ever sleep well again, and I can say that while it's not perfect, it is so much better than before. The only thing I can really complain about now is that I sleep so soundly that I stay in the same position for several hours and that results in a very stiff knee in the morning (or for those midnight potty runs).
My back continues to be a challenge and it seems that at the moment, I'm not comfortable sitting (due to back) and not yet comfortable for standing for long lengths of time (due to knee). So the days drag on with me uncomfortably changing from sitting, to walking, to laying down watching HGTV and wishing I had a home with less stairs.
I am not yet driving, because my PT has yet to release me and I am still taking Vicodin every 6 hours (despite me trying to wean down several times).
I am not sure, but I think my IT band is too tight which is causing a very strong pain on the lateral side of my knee when I attempt to move my leg while laying on my side (like in bed or on the couch). I've told my PT and she worked it a little bit, which helped for a few days but is now back again.
I am working on trying to listen to my knee and not overdo it (which is so much harder than it sounds). It's interesting, when I first stand up it's very stiff and takes a while to loosen up. Once loose, it feels pretty good but after I've been up for 15-20 minutes it starts to stiffen back up again which I'm sure is swelling, but it strange because it's new to me which I didn't expect at 7 weeks out.
There is no doubt I am much, much better than I was in the first 3 weeks, but I am very acutely aware of how far I still have to go. (This is where the patience comes in handy huh?) I just feel like such a sloth laying/sitting around all day.
Ready
graduate
Hi Sarah,
I am so sorry you are having some pain issues, but please don't feel like a sloth! I am doing exactly what you are doing today (except now I am watching "What Not to Wear" instead of HGTV), so that would make me a sloth, too.
I can relate to the back issues and have finally made an appt. with my chiropractor. Have you considered something like that? And if it is any consolation, I am still taking one of my pain meds, too. My knee reminds me when I forget, and tells me when I have done too much. I like to keep some compression on my knee with a light, pull on wrap I got in the hospital. It seems to keep the swelling down and feels so good. Has anyone ever mentioned compression? Anyway, I just want you to know you are not alone or unusual (or so I am told). Hang in there, keep resting. After all, it has only been 7 weeks.
I am so sorry you are having some pain issues, but please don't feel like a sloth! I am doing exactly what you are doing today (except now I am watching "What Not to Wear" instead of HGTV), so that would make me a sloth, too.
I can relate to the back issues and have finally made an appt. with my chiropractor. Have you considered something like that? And if it is any consolation, I am still taking one of my pain meds, too. My knee reminds me when I forget, and tells me when I have done too much. I like to keep some compression on my knee with a light, pull on wrap I got in the hospital. It seems to keep the swelling down and feels so good. Has anyone ever mentioned compression? Anyway, I just want you to know you are not alone or unusual (or so I am told). Hang in there, keep resting. After all, it has only been 7 weeks.
kimejen
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Sarah it's good to hear from you - you really have had some challenges to face haven't you and I can understand you feeling a little down in the dumps. We all knew it was a long road to travel, but I think it's understandable to feel "over it" at times. I am feeling like that at the moment. Your back issues would not be helping either, just something else to cause you to be unhappy. I got into bed last night and could not get the knee comfortable, and I was so angry, I said to hubby "I am so sick of this". Like you say, this is where the patience comes in - hard but true. We'll get there, some a little longer than others, but we will. Sending lots of special thoughts your way and a big hug to cheer you up. Take care. Jenny 
OP
OP
forevergimpy
senior
kimejen Jenny, thank you so much for your kind words and reminders. I knew to expect both good and bad days, but I didn't expect them to be about my mood and outlook in addition to the stiffness and swelling. 
Good news is that today is a new day and I'm in a much better mood! I had PT yesterday and while I didn't have my best measurements (probably rain related), I did feel much better on the bike and balancing on the trampoline. The best part was that after a fairly intense patella massage, I was able to get some great quad sets in without the pain I had been experiencing earlier in the session. After speaking more with my therapist about my back/hip/leg/foot issues, she says she thinks it's all nerve pain stemming from my lower back. We tried 10 minutes on the traction table to see if that helps any. It felt great at the time, but the effects didn't seem to be very long lasting (yet). Hopefully, we can get it all worked out in the end.
I've managed to cut down a bit on my meds today (1 pill every 4 hours instead of 2 every 6) and rode my recumbent bike for 25 minutes (on level 1) with ease. I need to do some extension work here soon and see if I can get some quad sets in as well.
I was hoping to get to the barn today, but the weather does not seem to be in agreement. I have plans for tomorrow however! I am very ready for some horse time.
Ready thank you for your kindness. It has been a bit of a frustrating road for sure. I knew I was in for a roller coaster ride, but I think I let myself believe the docs and nurses and start to believe that being so "young" was going to make this a breeze.
I may try the compression idea, thank you for the reminder. I was given one of those sleeves for a previous surgery, but not this time so I had completely forgotten. You are also very right in remembering it's only been 7 weeks too. I can't even say I'm 2 months into my 12 month recovery so it's ok to feel frustrated! Thank goodness I don't have to return to work any time soon.
Good news is that today is a new day and I'm in a much better mood!
I had PT yesterday and while I didn't have my best measurements (probably rain related), I did feel much better on the bike and balancing on the trampoline. The best part was that after a fairly intense patella massage, I was able to get some great quad sets in without the pain I had been experiencing earlier in the session. After speaking more with my therapist about my back/hip/leg/foot issues, she says she thinks it's all nerve pain stemming from my lower back. We tried 10 minutes on the traction table to see if that helps any. It felt great at the time, but the effects didn't seem to be very long lasting (yet). Hopefully, we can get it all worked out in the end.I've managed to cut down a bit on my meds today (1 pill every 4 hours instead of 2 every 6) and rode my recumbent bike for 25 minutes (on level 1) with ease. I need to do some extension work here soon and see if I can get some quad sets in as well.
I was hoping to get to the barn today, but the weather does not seem to be in agreement. I have plans for tomorrow however! I am very ready for some horse time.
Ready thank you for your kindness. It has been a bit of a frustrating road for sure. I knew I was in for a roller coaster ride, but I think I let myself believe the docs and nurses and start to believe that being so "young" was going to make this a breeze.
I may try the compression idea, thank you for the reminder. I was given one of those sleeves for a previous surgery, but not this time so I had completely forgotten. You are also very right in remembering it's only been 7 weeks too. I can't even say I'm 2 months into my 12 month recovery so it's ok to feel frustrated! Thank goodness I don't have to return to work any time soon.
kimejen
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Hi Sarah, so good to hear you a little happier. Little improvements are always good. I had visitors yesterday and did a lot of sitting with leg down. Angry leg last night - swollen and sore, so had a rough night tossing and turning to get comfortable. Will ice and elevate a lot more today, before PT appt. Have a good day today Sarah. Jenny
Ready
graduate
Well you sure sound chipper! It's good to hear. Every day I wake up, I wonder what kind of a day it will be, and there seems to be no rhyme or reason for how it turns out (well, unless it's self-induced ODIC). My therapist said that being young for this surgery is almost a curse. No offense to those on the forum who are older, but if we are still working and active, you need to get back to work, back to exercise and family life.
Keep fighting, one day at a time.
Keep fighting, one day at a time.
Hello Sarah, good to hear you are feeling positive. Yes, I think being young makes is more difficult in some ways. My OS said that younger TKRs have so much more expectation that older people as often all they want is just to have no pain and be more flexible whereas us Youngsters sometimes have young kids and need to get back too work etc and we just want to run and jump and do everything NOW not in 12 months. I hear you and feel for you. BUT we know we will get there, at 7 weeks you are doing fab. Your PT sounds good for early days..
for me, i'm finally (13 weeks) starting to really understand that I've got a long, long way to go and I need to not fight in and work with it else I'll end up in the ODIC every day.
Take care, best wishes. Fernie
for me, i'm finally (13 weeks) starting to really understand that I've got a long, long way to go and I need to not fight in and work with it else I'll end up in the ODIC every day.
Take care, best wishes. Fernie
OP
OP
forevergimpy
senior
Well today was quite the rollercoaster. I slept in two fairly long chunks of time last night and was very happy to finally get behind the wheel again. My dad came over and I drove us to PT today (he was so sweet to want to be on hand in the event I needed something or to pull over). It was such a non-event! The hardest part of the whole thing was trying to get my right leg into the car first.
PT started as usual - but sadly didn't stay that way.
I went back to the table for my final stretches and it all seemed to come unhinged. First, I was working bending while laying on my stomach with a nylon strap around my foot and pulled up across my back. I was going nice and slow so that my hamstrings didn't contract due to the stretch when one of the PTs came over and decided to "help". I just barely said "please be gentle and don't go farther than I can go" when she started pushing - and pushing - and pushing. It was to the point that my hamstrings were quivering and I was gripping the table and begging her to stop when she said, "Just 15 seconds". It was horrible! I know I'm now almost at 8 weeks, but I still have a lot of soreness in the medial compartment!! 
I wish I could say it ended there. Then my PT came over and we were both a bit disappointed that I was once again stuck at 115 (down from 121 last week) so she too began to assist. This time I was sitting up and doing a heel slide so I didn't feel quite as vulnerable but still I was pushed to the point of agony. I was now in tears and telling her that I was about to throw up on her.
I will say she was kind afterwards and got me water and admitted I would need some time to "recover" before the dreaded prone hang.
I let my dad drive me home since I was in more pain than I have been in a while and needed some time to get the shakes and my stomach back under control. I went out to my parent's house and had a nice lunch, and then got to spend 20 amazing minutes with Gadget which really helped get my mind back in the right place. But I must say I am still so upset. It's like the trust for this PT has been broken which really upsets me because I really, really liked her up until this point. I am strangely emotional about this all still.
I do want to say that my knee has calmed down with some rest this afternoon (and pain meds) so I am not worried that any damage was done. I was trying to explain to my husband that it is as much the loss of control that upsets me as the fear of pain does. I am hoping that by Monday afternoon (my next session), I will feel more ready to say to her that I appreciate all that she has done for me but that I cannot be taken that out of my control again during sessions or I will have to find another therapist.
Thanks all for letting me vent.
PT started as usual - but sadly didn't stay that way.
I went back to the table for my final stretches and it all seemed to come unhinged. First, I was working bending while laying on my stomach with a nylon strap around my foot and pulled up across my back. I was going nice and slow so that my hamstrings didn't contract due to the stretch when one of the PTs came over and decided to "help". I just barely said "please be gentle and don't go farther than I can go" when she started pushing - and pushing - and pushing. It was to the point that my hamstrings were quivering and I was gripping the table and begging her to stop when she said, "Just 15 seconds". It was horrible! I know I'm now almost at 8 weeks, but I still have a lot of soreness in the medial compartment!! I wish I could say it ended there. Then my PT came over and we were both a bit disappointed that I was once again stuck at 115 (down from 121 last week) so she too began to assist. This time I was sitting up and doing a heel slide so I didn't feel quite as vulnerable but still I was pushed to the point of agony. I was now in tears and telling her that I was about to throw up on her.
I will say she was kind afterwards and got me water and admitted I would need some time to "recover" before the dreaded prone hang.I let my dad drive me home since I was in more pain than I have been in a while and needed some time to get the shakes and my stomach back under control. I went out to my parent's house and had a nice lunch, and then got to spend 20 amazing minutes with Gadget which really helped get my mind back in the right place. But I must say I am still so upset. It's like the trust for this PT has been broken which really upsets me because I really, really liked her up until this point. I am strangely emotional about this all still.
I do want to say that my knee has calmed down with some rest this afternoon (and pain meds) so I am not worried that any damage was done. I was trying to explain to my husband that it is as much the loss of control that upsets me as the fear of pain does. I am hoping that by Monday afternoon (my next session), I will feel more ready to say to her that I appreciate all that she has done for me but that I cannot be taken that out of my control again during sessions or I will have to find another therapist.
Thanks all for letting me vent.
robynhood
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Sarah that sounds horrendous. I cant believe they think they are doing you any good pushing to that point of pain. Also I think your ROM is very good for 8 weeks. I am at six months and barely reaching 100. I agree you should tell her straight that she will never do that again. You will be stressed out at the thought of PT so your leg will be tense before you even start. It is so different here in the UK and our therapists are defnitley not as aggresive. I hope you rest well tomorrow to make up for it. Take care.
Ready
graduate
Hi Sarah. I am shocked that someone would do that push you like that--like 115 wasn't good enough at 8 weeks? Those ROM numbers can be very motivating, but cause way too much stress and pain for too many people.
It sounds like you have thought it through and have come up with a good way to approach your therapist. Stay strong and insistent. It's nice to hear you have support and your wonderful Gadget to give you love. Now, you relax a little and find some thing that you enjoy--and can control!
It sounds like you have thought it through and have come up with a good way to approach your therapist. Stay strong and insistent. It's nice to hear you have support and your wonderful Gadget to give you love. Now, you relax a little and find some thing that you enjoy--and can control!
Toothfairy
Insider
Hi Sarah, I have just been catching up on your posts.
You are making splendid progress. Great news that you are sleeping better and driving.
Your physio experience sounds horrendous. You have hit the nail on the head when you say about the lack of control. It is your body and they have no business to be doing things like that without your agreement. It is also counterproductive and will not help your knee one bit. They have a duty to have informed consent before they do things to you and they certainly did not have that. Your physio experience should be about working with you rather than doing things to you. I think your planned approach is perfect. It might be worth putting it in writing as well then they have it on your record.
I am glad you had time with Gadget to soothe your frazzled nerves. Take it easy and remember you are doing brilliantly and have a super ROM for this stage.
Hugs and chocolates coming your way,
Toothfairy x 
You are making splendid progress. Great news that you are sleeping better and driving.
Your physio experience sounds horrendous. You have hit the nail on the head when you say about the lack of control. It is your body and they have no business to be doing things like that without your agreement. It is also counterproductive and will not help your knee one bit. They have a duty to have informed consent before they do things to you and they certainly did not have that. Your physio experience should be about working with you rather than doing things to you. I think your planned approach is perfect. It might be worth putting it in writing as well then they have it on your record.
I am glad you had time with Gadget to soothe your frazzled nerves. Take it easy and remember you are doing brilliantly and have a super ROM for this stage.
Hugs and chocolates coming your way,
Toothfairy x
OP
OP
forevergimpy
senior
Thank you all so very much for being there and really understanding. I had a wonderful night's sleep last night and aside from some additional swelling I don't have any lasting effects from yesterday's man handling. Toothfairy, I think you are absolutely right that some time with my horse was just what I needed to re-center myself and emotions. I have also thought about how I will approach things with this therapist and I realized last night that I have her email address. I think I am going to email her today, to explain that I appreciate her knowledge and guidance, but when her (or anyone else) pushes my knee that far it elicits a panic attack similar to someone with claustrophobia and that if that treatment will continue I will not be able to finish my therapy with her or her office. I think that emailing first will help me, since I am still an emotional mess (I was a crier before being on pain meds for 2 months) and will save me the embarrassment of breaking into tears trying to talk to her about it on Monday in person. I think it will also help lessen my anxiety of my appointment on Monday (which I am already dreading).
Today is starting out wonderfully, my little girls got up early and dressed for school without a fuss (although there was minor drama because the Toothfairy didn't appear and do her magic last night for my oldest - oops). That seemed to get smoothed over without too much effort (it's easy when they so badly want to believe and can come up with their own conclusions).
My husband then brought me my morning cup of tea to bed and let me sleep in a bit. Now I've learned that he has the afternoon off and we are going to treat ourselves to lunch out and some quality adult time while the girls are still in school.
All in all, a much better day than yesterday!
Today is starting out wonderfully, my little girls got up early and dressed for school without a fuss (although there was minor drama because the Toothfairy didn't appear and do her magic last night for my oldest - oops). That seemed to get smoothed over without too much effort (it's easy when they so badly want to believe and can come up with their own conclusions).
My husband then brought me my morning cup of tea to bed and let me sleep in a bit. Now I've learned that he has the afternoon off and we are going to treat ourselves to lunch out and some quality adult time while the girls are still in school.
All in all, a much better day than yesterday!
kimejen
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Oh Sarah, I feel sad that you had to go through that. Good idea about emailing her. Everything you need to say you will be able to say, without being emotional. As soon as the knee starts to hurt, you tense, the knee tenses and that's no good at all. You are doing so well anyway, why do they have to push like that. Anyway, you seem a little brighter today, amazing how animals can get you over the hurt. I wish you only sunshine and happiness from here on in. Take care and a big hug coming your way. Jenny
Good idea about emailing her. Everything you need to say you will be able to say, without being emotional. As soon as the knee starts to hurt, you tense, the knee tenses and that's no good at all. You are doing so well anyway, why do they have to push like that. Anyway, you seem a little brighter today, amazing how animals can get you over the hurt. I wish you only sunshine and happiness from here on in. Take care and a big hug coming your way. Jenny
OP
OP
forevergimpy
senior
Today is my 8 week update and I have great news to share!
Milestone #1: I wore jeans - comfortably over my knee.
#2: I went shopping and to lunch with a friend.
#3: I drove to PT and a few errands.
#4: The PT didn't even touch me to do measurements today (due to time), yet if she had I was very confident and not emotional and could have easily told her that we had to make a deal. (This is what I'll say next time for sure.) She can "help" me with either flexion or extension only if when I say "stop" she immediately stops. No counting from 3, no pushing a bit further, no 15 seconds..... I will agree to not say stop any earlier than I can if she agrees to stop immediately to avoid further panic attacks, pain, and frustration. If that is not an agreement she is willing to make, I will contact my doctor and seek therapy from another office.
It's been a full day and I am firmly planted at a table in the ODIC. Even after the 15 minutes of Game Ready (ice machine at PT), my knee is about 3 times is usual size. Luckily, I have no where to go, a wonderful hubby who is cooking dinner and cleaning the kitchen while my leg is up on ice and I await the time for more medicine.
I hope a Happy Mother's Day was had by all the moms and that the new knees are treating everyone well these days.
Milestone #1: I wore jeans - comfortably over my knee.
#2: I went shopping and to lunch with a friend.
#3: I drove to PT and a few errands.
#4: The PT didn't even touch me to do measurements today (due to time), yet if she had I was very confident and not emotional and could have easily told her that we had to make a deal. (This is what I'll say next time for sure.) She can "help" me with either flexion or extension only if when I say "stop" she immediately stops. No counting from 3, no pushing a bit further, no 15 seconds..... I will agree to not say stop any earlier than I can if she agrees to stop immediately to avoid further panic attacks, pain, and frustration. If that is not an agreement she is willing to make, I will contact my doctor and seek therapy from another office.
It's been a full day and I am firmly planted at a table in the ODIC. Even after the 15 minutes of Game Ready (ice machine at PT), my knee is about 3 times is usual size. Luckily, I have no where to go, a wonderful hubby who is cooking dinner and cleaning the kitchen while my leg is up on ice and I await the time for more medicine.
I hope a Happy Mother's Day was had by all the moms and that the new knees are treating everyone well these days.
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