THR Early Birthday

[59billy]

What lovely person your Sweety sounds....This is perhaps one time in her life she needs to let someone else take up the flack.... it’s a toughie for sure...

I've been telling her that her greatest weaknesses spring from her greatest virtues. She's an incredibly compassionate and generous person, but can't always draw the line of "this is all I can do."

In some ways our relationship is odd. I suspect she's smarter than me, at least in the academic/IQ sense. But I've got the street smarts.

Usually we have the typical give and take, each doing what we want, but sometimes I just to get a bit bossy just to get her to rest. I have physically put her on a chair and told her to stay while I get her a drink.

It works!

 

[Layla]

What a difficult situation to be in, billy. I truly feel for both you and your partner. My heart goes out to her.
She must feel horribly torn. Think long and hard about releasing her to go home so there is no resentment
at a later date that she wasn't there with her mom in her final days / hours. Or there to support family and be supported by family who are all feeling the same pain.

Given the choice, I'm quite sure she'll stay with you, but I'd make it clear it's a choice only she can make.
You'd be surprised what you can do on your own if necessary and prepared. It would be a most selfless and generous offer on your part and one I'm sure she'd never forget.

I hope you have a wonderful day and week!
@59billy

 

[59billy]

@Layla I agree. She knows it's ultimately her call, and that I'll support her either way. Part of the reason for my "outing" the other day was to make the trip down the steps, across the yard, to the chicken houses, and back. I feel like I could do the necessary, but at increased risk of a fall, dislocation, cut, etc.

The hardest part for her is facing the fact that she can't do everything for everybody -- and that other people can do some of it. This is a huge growth experience for both of us.

 

[Layla]

I only wanted to give you a woman's perspective in the hopes of saving you from any regrets later.
When the sad day comes that she loses her mom and her emotions are all on overload as she's grieving her loss, you don't want her feeling / expressing that you held her back from being with her mom or family in the end.
What a difficult time. I feel for you both.
Hugs to you two
@59billy

 

[Layla]

I suspect she's smarter than me.

I changed the comma after "me" to a period in your quote above, bahahaha!
We're always smarter at least we like to think so, lol.
@59billy

 

[SE Florida]

@59billy I have a similar situation with my mother and husband. However, my dad passed away many years ago so it's left to me alone with the nursing home situation. Unfortunately there is no love lost between my mother and my husband so it's a pretty sticky situation in this house. However in the end, I will say that my decision would be to stay with my husband if he was in any kind of need at all. But that's a decision I've gone over a million times in my head this past year and I've made peace with myself if that decision needs to be made. Your Sweety must be going through hell right now and may not be able to rationalize the situation yet. I've had a lot of time to get where I am with my thoughts and emotions; Sweety has not. Hopefully you can both come together and be comfortable with a decision that will have no regrets on either side when the time comes for her mother. I sympathize with you both. In the meantime, you do need to focus on your recovery and stay strong. And we know you are! I don't believe it but they actually have chicken emojis!!!!

 

[59billy]

Home nurse came yesterday. She changed my dressing and took a pic of the incision. It's glued and still covered by steristrips, but there's no sign of infection or drainage. In our discussion I realized that OS was probably expecting PT to evaluate when I love from walker to cane, but PT isn't going to be here. One more question to ask when I call to get more pain meds.

One week out, I feel better that o have on at least six months, probably longer. I still wake up at night for nature's call, but fall back to sleep sleep pretty easily. Appetite is huge. If you live in SE USA, you might see a rise in meat and fish prices
Sorry.

Sweety is much happier and more calm. She's managing to let go and trust me to take care of myself. That's very good for both of us.

 

[Layla]

My OS never really set any timeline for moving to the cane. I began practicing at day 11 post op. I overdid it that day doing circles through my kitchen and living room. I paid the next day, not horribly, but enough to know I over did it. I iced and was good to go. If you're comfortable, start using it in the kitchen (usually a smaller area where you can easily grab onto something if need be) when you're moving about, a few steps here and there.

It's good you're eating all that protein, billy. It's important for healing.

It's wonderful to read your sweetie is feeling better. I'm sure she's realizing that you're cautious and don't want to do anything to jeopardize your progress.

Happy Tuesday!
@59billy

 

[59billy]

So, I've gone from home PT to no PT to a new referral for outpatient PT. Might be for the best, but I'm annoyed. Also waiting for nurse to call me back about my meds. Got a robotic hospital satisfaction survey. Hung up.

 

[Mojo333]

Don't worry about the PT Billy.
You don't really need it and if you can, keep it to a minimum.
You can't get cabin fever and ants in your pants this early
Patience can be hard...but it is definitely an investment in a hip pain-free future.

Healing vibes coming at you...

 

[Chappyd]

So, I've gone from home PT to no PT to a new referral for outpatient PT. Might be for the best, but I'm annoyed. Also waiting for nurse to call me back about my meds. Got a robotic hospital satisfaction survey. Hung up.

When my visiting nurse came, she spent a lot of time on paperwork, about 45min. Spent about 5 min with me.

 

[Chappyd]

I can see where this healing process is going to take some time. Initially I thought I might be rid of the walker in a couple of days- ha! That ain't happening. I can do more for myself than I thought I would be able to. Gonna be a a bit of a road. That's ok, nice weather is coming and I am in no rush to get back to work!!

 

[59billy]

When my visiting nurse came, she spent a lot of time on paperwork, about 45min. Spent about 5 min with me.

Same here. My experience has been that while everyone actually a part of the OS practice has been brilliant, everybody else has seemed like robots who exist to check boxes on forms.

 

[59billy]

Don't worry about the PT Billy.
You don't really need it and if you can, keep it to a minimum.
You can't get cabin fever and ants in your pants this early
Patience can be hard...but it is definitely an investment in a hip pain-free future.

Healing vibes coming at you...

More than the PT as such, I'm annoyed at the sloppiness. In the camp, etc. Home PT was a given. Up to the first visit with the home nurse, everybody was saying 2-3 weeks home therapy. The she's like, "oh, darn, your insurance only pays one visit."

1. These people had 2 weeks to figure out what my insurance would pay.
2. Nobody mentioned the option of outpatient.
3. If the OS wants the PT, all the robots should be facilitating that. The only person who should ignore my doctor's orders is me!

Thanks. I feel better now.

 

[Mojo333]

You Have to have this unless you can't get it paid for I get it.

The only person who should ignore my doctor's orders is me!

Hope you have been breaking up the love affair with new chair with lots of short walks.
I would have to get up...stretch arms high to get the pressure off of lower back from all the "rest" I was getting and march a bit in place to fire up muscles before stepping it.
Still early days so keep the ice going even if you don't see any visible signs if swelling.
I'm very happy that all is behind me now but still have clear memories so I can sympathize with all the new hippys' struggles.
It was real
It was fun
But it weren't real fun.

Hope today is a Good Day!

 

[59billy]

Definitely doing the ice. I'm up pretty frequently. Making my own breakfast and lunch, helping with dinner (roasted beef strip loin last night).

With my spiffy new walker tray, I can service the ice machine without help.

Took off the Ted stockings last night and cleaned myself up. Left them off; operative leg only slightly swollen.

Yesterday was the worst post-op depression. Got pretty dark. Not bad enough to commit self harm or bad poetry (always a risk for those of Irish descent), but pretty gloomy. Dinner with sweety made made it all better.

 

[Carriemay60]

I hope you feel a bit brighter today Billy. I try to keep the 'hard to cope' to one day at a time. I only look to future on the things I am excited about doing again. There are days I want a nap to escape my downer mood as much as I want it for fatigue.

 

[Mojo333]

Post op blues...it IS a thing.

It's okay to have a pity party or two (I did) just don't make it a soiree!

Not bad enough to commit self harm or bad poetry (always a risk for those of Irish descent), but pretty gloomy.

Could look at it like my favorite Irish poet,Yeats..The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.

 

[59billy]

Post op blues...it IS a thing.

It's okay to have a pity party or two (I did) just don't make it a soiree!


Could look at it like my favorite Irish poet,Yeats..The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.

I rarely go a week without thinking of that quote!

 

[Layla]

Aww, billy....sorry to hear you were down in the dumps yesterday. Glad to read you're feeling better now.
You'll have those days but thankfully they're usually fleeting.
I think making your own breakfast and lunch and helping with dinner sounds like you're making great progress.

Re: robot discussion above...
I went to three PT sessions, the PT spent more time on the computer than anything else. I'd walk in, she'd ask questions and type the entire time. Then she'd look up exercises on the computer and print them out. Next we'd go to the room where the equipment was and she'd throw me on a machine and walk away, back to a computer....seriously?!! Three sessions and I decided it wasn't worth my time.

Wouldn't you think they'd schedule appts leaving enough time to do all that recording and updating afterward. They rarely make eye contact with you these days. They stare at a computer screen typing while taliking to you. It's ridiculous.

I hope you're sleeping well and your pain is well managed. Days will get brighter....and faster than you imagine.
Hang in there!
@59billy