I'm finally getting depressed about all this. I came from such a low place that no matter what happened I would be better, I just really thought better would be better than this. I know it's only 6 weeks, but I've still only managed 70 degrees flexion and now my extension is starting to get worse - I was at 0 and then for a bit at 5 and now it's 10. It hurts to let it lie straight and it doesn't stretch into 0, it just hurts.
I can't do leg slides to anything near 70, if I want 70 I have to come from it from the quads/hamstring side - putting body weight behind it. I can and do lurch around the house without crutches but it's not nearly as 'graceful' as when I've just finished a physio appointment. I use one crutch when I first get out of bed or have been sitting for awhile, but when I use two crutches I feel the stretch laterally over the front of my knee and it feels to me what should be happening - but doesn't with one or no crutch.
I admit it, it's the very first time I'm sitting around in tears and feel panic. I can't really function with only 70 degrees. My goal has been 90, but I know that's not really functional either. I'm only 52, I don't want to be using a cane permanently, I still want to be able to walk distances, go to the gym, dance and climb ladders, go camping and sleep on the ground. I don't know what else to do.
I see the surgeon tomorrow morning and I'm going to be a mess. My emotions - my disappointment is too raw and close to the surface. Thank the gods I'm in Australia with private health care, I still have 40 physio appointments, but really, what's the point if there's no gain?
I'm so confused about MUA - whether it's a good thing or not. Studies seem to show that it's not. Personal stories seem to say it's a good thing. MUA was threatened and held over my head at inpatient P/T so I know it's the way things are done here.
Forget all the stuff above - before the surgery I was achey all the time but I could move. I wonder did they/I wait too long to do the surgery? This can't be it. This 70 degrees can improve over time but reading between the lines it sounds like it will improve but not much. Will I be 'happy' with 90 degrees at one year? No way in hell. Will 70 ever become 120? I don't know, I don't see anyone getting that kind of improvement. This is all just too depressing.