THR And so, I Begin Again
- Thread starter gullimac
- Start date
United StatesSwimGirl
senior
@gullimac Sounds like you are doing very well at this point. Getting out and about is a welcome change!
Stop thinking about work!!!!! You have the holidays to think about!!! You don't need elevated blood pressure!
It is like how I felt preop as my surgery date drew near. I got more and more stressed and I finally decided that I wasn't going to go through that anxiety until it was actually time! Think about work your first day back. Period!
By the way, I am just like your wife when it comes to shopping. Yep! Groceries just taking up space!
Stop thinking about work!!!!! You have the holidays to think about!!! You don't need elevated blood pressure!
It is like how I felt preop as my surgery date drew near. I got more and more stressed and I finally decided that I wasn't going to go through that anxiety until it was actually time! Think about work your first day back. Period!
By the way, I am just like your wife when it comes to shopping. Yep! Groceries just taking up space!
OP
OP
gullimac
graduate
Had my 1 month follow up with the PA today. Finally got the staples out. I will take a picture later to add to the scar thread. PA said I was doing great, x-Ray looked good, they don't need to see me until the year follow up. I still have the precautions until 3 months. She gave me a script for out-patient PT if I felt like I wanted it. I have one more visit with the home-health PT.
Feeling pretty good. The rain here has finally stopped, so I can get back to some walking outdoors. I have certainly have some endurance left to build up. Need to remain slow and steady.
Planning to return to work on January 2nd. I am planning to let my boss know not long after I get back that I will not return next school year. I have to work out how I would like that conversation to go. A majority of the decision is based on spending more time with my family, but there is a part of it that is about stress and burnout that have not been helped by the way things are done at this school. Not sure how receptive my boss would be about that criticism and I will have to continue to work for 6 months, so I don't want to make my remaining time a poor experience. There are 2 people at work who already know this is going to happen. There are a couple more that have a pretty good idea it is going to happen.
Feeling pretty good. The rain here has finally stopped, so I can get back to some walking outdoors. I have certainly have some endurance left to build up. Need to remain slow and steady.
Planning to return to work on January 2nd. I am planning to let my boss know not long after I get back that I will not return next school year. I have to work out how I would like that conversation to go. A majority of the decision is based on spending more time with my family, but there is a part of it that is about stress and burnout that have not been helped by the way things are done at this school. Not sure how receptive my boss would be about that criticism and I will have to continue to work for 6 months, so I don't want to make my remaining time a poor experience. There are 2 people at work who already know this is going to happen. There are a couple more that have a pretty good idea it is going to happen.
Well, you really do not have to discuss the stress because of the school when you tell them you will not be returning. You can save it till you are much closer to the end of term and provide it as a suggestion to make things better for others. This could mean less issues while you are still there.
OP
OP
gullimac
graduate
So, I am receiving a small taste of what my wife deals with on a regular basis--being a de facto single parent. She is gone on a well deserved trip to celebrate her mother's 70th B-day. I have had our girls for the last two nights unassisted. Tonight attended a birthday party party for my youngest's "best friend" at a laser tag/bowling place and I had to entertain our oldest at the same venue. Earlier during my final in-home PT visit, my youngest ran out to inform me that a bird was in our house. Took us 2 hours to get the bird back outside. Last night my youngest had a major meltdown about homework.
I can not imagine having a spouse that is almost NEVER around on Friday night and having to be Superman/Superwoman consistently like she has been for the last decade. Once again confirming the need for a change in my life.
I can not imagine having a spouse that is almost NEVER around on Friday night and having to be Superman/Superwoman consistently like she has been for the last decade. Once again confirming the need for a change in my life.
I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see your post. Not many Dads would recognise this - the day to day, nonstop being a super parent is so often taken for granted. So nice to see you appreciate all the energy this takes. Guess this is just another plus in your recovery - having the time to really see what's going on.
SwimGirl
senior
@gullimac What a great husband and father you are! Taking care of the girls while mom is away! I am sure your kids appreciate you as well! My goodness how much energy it takes to be good parents. You will never regret that
You did all these things in the name of fatherhood! Glad at this point that you have the stamina to do all that you do! When your wife returns I am sure she will take over and give you a chance to catch up on your rest!
You did all these things in the name of fatherhood! Glad at this point that you have the stamina to do all that you do! When your wife returns I am sure she will take over and give you a chance to catch up on your rest!
OP
OP
gullimac
graduate
Here I am on the eve of being 6 weeks out from my LTHR. Feeling pretty good. Put the Walker and the raised toilet seat back in the basement yesterday. After my first hip this summer I knew I was only putting them both aside for a few months, now I am hoping it is a more permanent storage. Walked the back yard today and cut back some branches. Had one of those dreams last night where I was crouched down in a catchers stance...not really to that point yet, but it was interesting to me that this was the thing I remembered from last night's sleep.
Girls have school until Wednesday, then we enter the whirlwind of the holidays with family. I am on the precipice of not having to constantly think about my hips. It is a little odd. Those faulty body parts dominated my life for so long, it will feel Wierd to say goodbye to that. I still have some time until that is a reality though. I am certainly ready to shut the door on 2016, it has been a hell of a year.
Girls have school until Wednesday, then we enter the whirlwind of the holidays with family. I am on the precipice of not having to constantly think about my hips. It is a little odd. Those faulty body parts dominated my life for so long, it will feel Wierd to say goodbye to that. I still have some time until that is a reality though. I am certainly ready to shut the door on 2016, it has been a hell of a year.
I'll toast to this! Great that your hips are all done and dusted @gullimac . From what you have shared here sounds like 2017 will be a year of changes for you. Enjoy!
Krista
post-grad
That's nice to hear, @gullimac, that you put the aids away and are almost at the point of not having to think about your hips. I long for that day. And I heartily agree that I can't wait to put 2016 behind me. It's been the second worst year of my life, with so many medical issues. I'll be celebrating on New Year's Eve, that's for sure...at home, with store-bought cookies and treats, and with my feet up, but celebrating none-the-less.
Be sure to let us know when you are able to forget about your hips for the most part. I'll be curious to find out when that will be. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you and yours!
Be sure to let us know when you are able to forget about your hips for the most part. I'll be curious to find out when that will be. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you and yours!
SwimGirl
senior
@gullimac Congratulations on all your progress with your recovery. I too took toilet seat down at someone else's request, however, it seems like a very long way down. Bummer! I could have left it up forever!!! The dream you have is your body telling you that you are very capable to do all the things that you love....in due time! I will start formal PT in January and have enjoyed just walking and shopping this month! Enjoy the girls being out of school. I am sure they are excited! Merry Christmas! On to a wonderful new year 2017!
Constanze
graduate
Hi @gullimac , I enjoyed reading your latest updates. You are a loving and responsible father. All those 'matters' you are reporting about indicate that hips are no longer in the focus of attention in your life, but now other things have priority - such as work, a daugher's meltdown over homework and lots of other things. You will master them. You are doing great with the children. And I sympathise with you concerning the meltdowns over homework. They can be quite extreme. I remember them. But that seems 2000 years ago. My 4 daughters are now between 27 and 33 years old. Keep up the good work and - Happy holidays - Constanze
canoewoman
junior member
Just checking in after a long time off the site. My hip is ok but still have days with pain and still sleeping on the non surgical side as it is too painful to sleep on the operated side. Going for a catscan of my head...some problems with pain and vision so I am worried.
However, I read about your idea of leaving your school. Sounds like burnout and maybe just focus on leaving because of your health and family rather than whats wrong with the place so that you don't burn any bridges and say the departure is not forever but until you feel you are ready to go back to work. That way if you need a reference from them you can get one without them having ill feelings about you.
Other than that sounds like you are having a good recovery so best wishes for continued good health in the New Year.
However, I read about your idea of leaving your school. Sounds like burnout and maybe just focus on leaving because of your health and family rather than whats wrong with the place so that you don't burn any bridges and say the departure is not forever but until you feel you are ready to go back to work. That way if you need a reference from them you can get one without them having ill feelings about you.
Other than that sounds like you are having a good recovery so best wishes for continued good health in the New Year.
OP
OP
gullimac
graduate
@canoewoman the feeling that I needed to leave is about the school and the proffession. I have felt the system of sports at the high school level has been broken for several years. I think that during the 2 year lead up to my first THR it could have been just burnout.
Being away from work for almost 4 months of this year, I realized that due to the time I miss out on with my family with the hours I work ( average of 60 hrs a week), I can not be involved with homework on a regular basis, or go to holiday parties at school, or clean up after the kids, etc. My family needs more from me than I am currently giving. My time away to recover provided clarity on that...BUT...I confirmed in the time between the right and left hip (6 + months) that my current school situation was toxic for me too. I have been taken for granted, I have tremendous responsibility but no authority to make decisions, I am constantly second guessed and my morals have been compromised. Those feelings did not go away after the the 1st or 2nd hip replacement. Some of this is because of my own personal make up (I can not deny that fact) but I have also come to terms with that as well. I need to step away and try something else.
I do feel that a certain amount of this might be a bit of a mid-life crisis due to the death of my mother 1.5 years ago coupled with my own health, hang ups and work disatisfaction. My trepidation now is all about my fear of change. I worry about the pressure this places on my wife, the change in lifestyle we may experience, etc. As I told my wife a month ago, nothing that has happened in the last year has made me question the need for leaving my job. In fact so many things have reinforced this need for change in my mind. I have no regret about the decision. I do have anxiety about the next 6 months and how it will be impacted by this decision. I fear that the micro-managing I will experience will get worse when I let people know I am not returning. I have a fear about eventually starting over in a career path.
I apologize if this seems like an over-reactions to your post. This is something that has been coming to a head for awhile for me.
On another note, I held set up for and execute a holiday party for my 2nd graders class and this week. I was exhausted after 2 hours worth of work that is similar to game management at my current job. I felt earlier in the week I was on the precipice of forgetting about my hip, but life has a way of humbling you in situations like this. Could I be back at work?....YES. I proved over and over again for 2+ years that I could push through any barrier in my path. Am I ready to be back at work fully? ...NO WAY! Within 2 days of returning from my 1st hip replacement I was just as frusterated at work as the week I left. That was a clear sign. Two months later when a coworker died unexpectedly out of the blue, it was another sign.
I was back at work at this point after hip #1 on a limited basis. I do not have that luxury this time. I have to jump in with both feet at full speed this time. January through February is brutal for me in a normal year. Never mind that I am coming off a major surgery and recovery. I am desperately trying to shift my focus away from the physical side of recovery to the mental side as quickly as possible. Physically I will manage. Mentally...I am not so sure I will come out on the other side as succesfully. Thank you all for the support!
Being away from work for almost 4 months of this year, I realized that due to the time I miss out on with my family with the hours I work ( average of 60 hrs a week), I can not be involved with homework on a regular basis, or go to holiday parties at school, or clean up after the kids, etc. My family needs more from me than I am currently giving. My time away to recover provided clarity on that...BUT...I confirmed in the time between the right and left hip (6 + months) that my current school situation was toxic for me too. I have been taken for granted, I have tremendous responsibility but no authority to make decisions, I am constantly second guessed and my morals have been compromised. Those feelings did not go away after the the 1st or 2nd hip replacement. Some of this is because of my own personal make up (I can not deny that fact) but I have also come to terms with that as well. I need to step away and try something else.
I do feel that a certain amount of this might be a bit of a mid-life crisis due to the death of my mother 1.5 years ago coupled with my own health, hang ups and work disatisfaction. My trepidation now is all about my fear of change. I worry about the pressure this places on my wife, the change in lifestyle we may experience, etc. As I told my wife a month ago, nothing that has happened in the last year has made me question the need for leaving my job. In fact so many things have reinforced this need for change in my mind. I have no regret about the decision. I do have anxiety about the next 6 months and how it will be impacted by this decision. I fear that the micro-managing I will experience will get worse when I let people know I am not returning. I have a fear about eventually starting over in a career path.
I apologize if this seems like an over-reactions to your post. This is something that has been coming to a head for awhile for me.
On another note, I held set up for and execute a holiday party for my 2nd graders class and this week. I was exhausted after 2 hours worth of work that is similar to game management at my current job. I felt earlier in the week I was on the precipice of forgetting about my hip, but life has a way of humbling you in situations like this. Could I be back at work?....YES. I proved over and over again for 2+ years that I could push through any barrier in my path. Am I ready to be back at work fully? ...NO WAY! Within 2 days of returning from my 1st hip replacement I was just as frusterated at work as the week I left. That was a clear sign. Two months later when a coworker died unexpectedly out of the blue, it was another sign.
I was back at work at this point after hip #1 on a limited basis. I do not have that luxury this time. I have to jump in with both feet at full speed this time. January through February is brutal for me in a normal year. Never mind that I am coming off a major surgery and recovery. I am desperately trying to shift my focus away from the physical side of recovery to the mental side as quickly as possible. Physically I will manage. Mentally...I am not so sure I will come out on the other side as succesfully. Thank you all for the support!
Krista
post-grad
All the best to you, @gullimac, as you return in the new year to your difficult work to finish out the year, and then stay-at-home for awhile for your children, and then find that new career path later on. You have so many changes coming up that it's no wonder you have anxiety about the future. It warms my heart that you are leaving that very demanding job that leaves you little time for your family or yourself. My kids each did multiple sports while they were in high school, and I saw first-hand some of what an athletic director does, and I imagine the behind-the-scenes work is enormous. May you enjoy your family and Christmas and the time off you still have before school starts again! 
canoewoman
junior member
You say you have a lot of responsibility but no real power and that is the same with myself and others who teach at the college level. We have some admin who are just airheads and full of the talk but no substance and you do get burned out and anxious about all this. A step away from your work may help a lot and yes it will be a big change but who knows what doors may open or what else may come your way. It could be a change for the positive for sure.
OP
OP
gullimac
graduate
I have been all over the place for the holidays and am paying the price. Actually feeling it more in my right hip (replaced in April). I know I have been overdoing it a bit, but the pressure of returning to work next Monday makes me feel like I need to push a bit. I realize intellectually that is wrong, but emotionally and instinctively I can't help myself.
Also for me as an introvert I always struggle with the holidays. Being around family/friends and being social is exhausting. This year I have been a little better with this because I have been away from work and have not used all my energy up at work. It is not that I can not be engaged and involved with people, it is just that it does not energize me at all. I need to be alone to recharge the batteries.
For now I trying to prepare myself for the next few months by taking one of those lessons that is in so many holiday movies and applying it to my day. Find the small moments of joy in what you do and focus on those.
Hope everyone is having a great holiday season and end to 2016!
Also for me as an introvert I always struggle with the holidays. Being around family/friends and being social is exhausting. This year I have been a little better with this because I have been away from work and have not used all my energy up at work. It is not that I can not be engaged and involved with people, it is just that it does not energize me at all. I need to be alone to recharge the batteries.
For now I trying to prepare myself for the next few months by taking one of those lessons that is in so many holiday movies and applying it to my day. Find the small moments of joy in what you do and focus on those.
Hope everyone is having a great holiday season and end to 2016!
canoewoman
junior member
The holidays are exhausting and the demands can be very uncomfortable with family relationships that pull you in different directions. I have been out and about as best I can and I feel it in my hip as well and my surgery was in May.
There is an illusion that this hip business and probably the knee too is going to lead to a better life and indeed the arthritis pain may be gone but muscles and ligaments and tendons and tissue and other bones and even the alignment of your whole body changes. I was in a lot of hip pain a few weeks ago and went to a walk in clinic because my doctor was away and the doctor I saw said that hip surgery realigns the body completely and it takes a long long time for the body to adjust and it may never be like it was so overdoing it may not be the word.
It may simply be a case of the body changing when the rest of you is still in the former spot before surgery. You are not adjusting or you simply have not adjusted yet and that may be your case but certainly alone time and rest and reflection does help calm you down. Anxiety is an exhausting business and people in the giving professions do get burned out because it requires huge amounts of energy to teach and listen to others.
At my level we deal with huge numbers of new comers to the country and refugees and second language students and single parents and the job becomes more taxing because their problems are paramount to them but then you have your own problems and you need to spend energy on dealing with them.
I face knee replacement surgery next and while I want to get it overwith as fast as possible and get on with getting better I simply have no energy for it and cannot face it but putting it off is what I have been doing until the point that my hip became affected and required emergency replacement surgery so recovery is a long and grueling process. This is not to dissuade or discourage others waiting for these replacements. Its simply the reality of major surgery.
I wish you all the best in the new year and that the hip heals more and more and that you find satisfaction in whatever path you take.
There is an illusion that this hip business and probably the knee too is going to lead to a better life and indeed the arthritis pain may be gone but muscles and ligaments and tendons and tissue and other bones and even the alignment of your whole body changes. I was in a lot of hip pain a few weeks ago and went to a walk in clinic because my doctor was away and the doctor I saw said that hip surgery realigns the body completely and it takes a long long time for the body to adjust and it may never be like it was so overdoing it may not be the word.
It may simply be a case of the body changing when the rest of you is still in the former spot before surgery. You are not adjusting or you simply have not adjusted yet and that may be your case but certainly alone time and rest and reflection does help calm you down. Anxiety is an exhausting business and people in the giving professions do get burned out because it requires huge amounts of energy to teach and listen to others.
At my level we deal with huge numbers of new comers to the country and refugees and second language students and single parents and the job becomes more taxing because their problems are paramount to them but then you have your own problems and you need to spend energy on dealing with them.
I face knee replacement surgery next and while I want to get it overwith as fast as possible and get on with getting better I simply have no energy for it and cannot face it but putting it off is what I have been doing until the point that my hip became affected and required emergency replacement surgery so recovery is a long and grueling process. This is not to dissuade or discourage others waiting for these replacements. Its simply the reality of major surgery.
I wish you all the best in the new year and that the hip heals more and more and that you find satisfaction in whatever path you take.
Krista
post-grad
@gullimac, I like your attitude, being as positive as you can about starting work again, even though it's the last place you want to be. I hope things will be a bit easier to take, knowing that it's temporary. I'm like you, an introvert, who gets recharged by being alone. Our young adult son is visiting for 6 days (the last time we saw him was 1 ½ years ago!), and our daughter has been seeing us every day to spend time with her brother. I love all of this intense family time, but it IS exhausting! I also get how you are challenging yourself more, even to the point of overdoing it sometimes. I'm doing that, too. Best of luck to you as things change dramatically for you on Monday!
@canoewoman, you speak the truth! I'm definitely having alignment problems and muscle tightness after my gluteal tendon repair surgery, all exacerbated by 1 ½ years of walking with aids. Nothing feels right, and I am limping and having some pain. I am definitely getting stronger every day, and it gets a tiny fraction better every day, but it is difficult. May you have that TKR whenever you are ready, and be able to get healthy, and go canoeing again, which is a hobby I presume you love, because of your username!
@canoewoman, you speak the truth! I'm definitely having alignment problems and muscle tightness after my gluteal tendon repair surgery, all exacerbated by 1 ½ years of walking with aids. Nothing feels right, and I am limping and having some pain. I am definitely getting stronger every day, and it gets a tiny fraction better every day, but it is difficult. May you have that TKR whenever you are ready, and be able to get healthy, and go canoeing again, which is a hobby I presume you love, because of your username!
