Want My Life Back

[2active]

I will be 49 next Tuesday, and I want my life back! This arthritis has slowed me down and has kept me in pain for the past two years. I have been considering TKR for almost a year now since my doctor told me I have total medial loss in my left knee and was bone to bone. I worry about the prescription medications because I've never taken anything stronger than Motrin in my life. I know I will be a lot happier and enjoy all the things that make me happy again, but I have this fear of the "what if's".... Everyone keeps saying I'm really young for KR, but I say I'm too young to stop living! I am becoming emotionally affected from this condition which is putting me in tears not just from constant pain, but also from frustration. My husband and I love outdoor activities, and I still love to shop with my daughters and friends. I haven't been able to enjoy these things for over a year due to the pain that comes after just minutes of walking. My husband now does our grocery shopping, and we don't get to enjoy a lot of the things we used to enjoy because of my sick knees. Is it time for me??? I keep asking myself if I'm making the right decision by having surgery at my age...Will I do okay with the narcotic drugs? Will I be off work longer than I can be? Will I get a blood clot? I'm so nervous! Someone please make me feel better......

 

[Jamie]

Hi, and welcome to BoneSmart! We all can relate to your feelings and you've come to the right place to help you get things sorted out. Based on what you say about the condition of your knee, you definitely need this TKR! It's going to make things so much better for you. And you're NOT too young at all. We have members with damaged knees who are younger than you are. It's not your calendar age anyway....it's the "physical age" of your knee joint. When it's shot, it's time to get it fixed so you can enjoy these great years of your life.

Please know that knee replacements are one of the most performed surgeries these days. The success rate is excellent and, once you select an experienced surgeon to do it for you, you have every reason to look forward to many, many years with your knee.

New BoneSmart members like you are in various stages of their journey to joint replacement. Making the decision whether or not to have surgery and preparing for surgery can be easier once you have done your research and know what lies ahead. Here are some tools that can help you decide what is best for you.

If you are at the stage where you have joint pain but don't know for sure if you are ready to have surgery, these links may help:

Score Chart: How bad is my arthritic knee?
Choosing a surgeon and a prosthesis
BMI Calculator - What to do if your surgeon says you're too heavy for joint replacement surgery
Longevity of implants and revisions: How long will my new joint last?


If you are at the stage where you are planning to have surgery but are looking for information so you can be better prepared for what is to come, take a look at these links:

Recovery Aids: A comprehensive list for hospital and home
Recliner Chairs: Things you need to know if buying one for your recovery
Pre-Op Interviews: What's involved?


Regardless of where you are in the process, the website and app My Knee Guide can help you stay organized and informed. The free service keeps all the information pertaining to your surgery and recovery in one place on your smartphone. It is intended to be a personal support tool for the entire process.

And if you want to picture what your life might be like with a replaced knee, take a look at the posts and threads from other BoneSmarties provided in this link:

Stories of amazing knee recoveries

 

[2active]

Thanks so much! It helps reading all these stories and words of encouragement. I am suppose to call and schedule for surgery in January. After reading through this forum, I feel more confident in my decision. Still nervous, but I know it's time. I just want my life back!!!! Thanks again!

 

[RMasano]

I just found this forum today. I'm 48 and scheduled for surgery on January 9th. I am also having the same feelings you are having. I am scared but I know I can't live like this anymore. Whenever I go anywhere, it was always hard for me to keep up with everyone. I have been suffering for years, but fell about a month ago and I know am pretty much home bound now. It was probably a blessing in disguise because I would probably keep living this way. I go for my preop appointment on December 21st.

 

[Celle]

It sounds as if you two are going to have your knee replacements around the same time. You'll be recovery buddies. That's nice.

 

[2active]

Are you having both knees replaced? My better knee is getting so much worse from placing all my weight to that side. My shoes are even ruined on the sides from walking like I have been to support my knee that's bone to bone. My OS will replace both if I choose to, but I know it will be longer recovery. My dad had both replaced at the same time when he was 68, so I guess I should be a big girl and suck it up. The medication is probably what scares me the most. Sounds crazy, but narcotic drugs gives me the willies....The scheduling department had January 10th and 30th open. I think I might opt for the 10th and not waste one more minute in pain. This forum is really helping me feel better. Thanks for your response.

 

[RMasano]

No, I am only having one done now, but the other one is not as bad, but bad enough. I don't think he wants to do both at the same time. I've never taken any pain meds besides over the counter. If you have decided to have it done, it would probably be better to go with the sooner date. I was scheduled for end of January, but called and had it moved up because I can't stand my way of life any longer and nothing is going to change. I'm glad I found this forum. I have so many questions and concerns, that it will be nice to talk to people who have gone through it.

 

[Jean3600]

Wow! Your comments could have been written by me...every bit of it. I had such pain in my left knee that I could not walk from my living room to the kitchen without experiencing awful pain. I couldn't participate in anything, or go anywhere. My groceries had to be delivered.

The idea of knee surgery scared me to death. My husband had passed away and I had no one to "be" with me through it. I thought of all the "what if's" you mentioned. Blood clots, etc.

I had my surgery on Oct 12th. Went home the next day and had home health nurses and physical therapy at home for two weeks. I was able to be weight bearing the afternoon of the surgery. It was much easier than I had built it up being in my mind or than I had expected it to be. Pain was well controlled by medication.

Sleeping was mostly naps for about two weeks. Food didn't taste right. Constipation was an issue because I wasn't given medication at the hospital and didn't know I needed to have purchased it before surgery.

Ice packs are going to be your saving grace. Get an ice recirculating machine if you can. I found that using small sized bottle of frozen water worked much better than ice cubes. Keep two or three sets in the freezer and refreeze.

I had staples, and the day they were removed was a great day on the calendar for me. I stopped taking pain meds and have only used Tylenol for the occasional ache.

My experience is my experience. Everyone is different. BUT and this is important - I am so very very grateful that I had the surgery done! NO REGRETS! It has been six weeks since surgery. I started driving right after staples were taken out. I've gone grocery shopping by myself (LOL). I am going on a cruise with my grandsons the first week of April and to Hawaii in June with my grand-daughters. I would not have been able to entertain the possibility of doing that three months ago.

I walk without a cane. Yes, I still get swelling and have to ice and elevate. My doctor said that will begin to go away after about three months. Exercise was a bit of a challenge at first because of the swelling. I have a 123 degree bend in the left knee (the new one) and 127 in the right knee. That too will improve with reduction in swelling.

Best of luck to you!
Jean

 

[DebM]

@2active i initially was planning one TKR but in the 12 months I had to wait (because of health insurance upgrade here in Australia) my other knee has deteriorated possibly like you from supporting my bad knee. X-rays have shown that it too is pretty much bone on bone so I am taking the plunge and doing both on January 19. I figure it's one surgery, one anaesthetic and one recovery and then I can start to get my life back. I am getting more nervous as the date approaches but I know it's the only option for me now.

 

[little red canoe]

Don't worry about the narcotic meds. Use them
You will self wean off them when it is time.

Your OS should prescribe what is necessary and no more. Doctor shopping in the case of joint replacement is unlikely.

Trust your surgeon to watch your response to surgery and any pain

 

[2active]

Thanks so much everyone! I will definitely be taking the sooner date for my surgery. I will also be taking advantage of one surgery to fix both knees. I think I would probably regret it if I didn't since the right knee is now screaming at me as well, only just not quite as loud. This forum has been extremely helpful to me and I appreciate all your words of empathy and encouragement. I'm going to be nervous up until I have the surgery, however I know after talking to my surgeon, and people like you who have had surgery, that the quality of my life will not get better until I have new knees. Again, thanks so much! If anyone else has any words of wisdom or advice, I would truly appreciate it. My husband too!

 

[2active]

Good Luck DebM. Looking forward to hearing about your experience.

 

[beledi]

You wont regret having this surgery. Make sure you do your physical therapy. I am seven weeks out on my tka. Have trouble sleeping once in awhile and stiff if I sit too long. I had my other knee done four years ago and am happy with the results. Good advice on this forum. Were all in this together. You wont regret getting this done. There is life after bad knees.

 

[Want2hike]

Hi 2active,

You sound a lot like me. Used to camp, hike, etc but could barely walk to the end of the block and a quick shopping trip left me in pain for the day. I'm 50, been bone on bone for 15 years, but quality of life really decreased in the last 2 years. I had many of the same concerns about side effects of surgery and didn't experience any.

I had bilateral TKR almost 7 weeks ago. The first 3 weeks of recovery were physically and mentally the hardest for me (brain fog from the pain killers, difficulty sleeping, walking, showering, etc). Weeks 4 - 6 were easier physically and improving mentally: could sit in a car more comfortably, easier time getting up, down, walking, etc, seeing other people during PT, etc. BUT....these weeks were actually more frustrating because I felt mentally ready to be recovered, but my body isn't there. I still couldn't drive and had to rely on husband or friends which was frustrating. I still get tired (but not in pain) after short outings like grocery shopping. I still don't have great range of motion in my knees, although I think they are close to where I was pre surgery (only about 90 degrees).

I started driving a few days ago. I can't tell you how freeing that was. I still can't do too much at once, but that independence was what I mentally needed. I have 1 more week at home and then I go back to work (desk job). I will start back part time (2-3 days/wk) for the first 3 weeks and then back full time after that.

I'm still not ready to hike the mountain in my back yard, but hopefully by Feb., I will be on the circumference trails and summit trails by late spring.

 

[FlaGranny]

I had staged knee replacements, 6 weeks apart. I was very nervous for the first one but had no intention of not doing it. For the second, I wasn't very nervous at all. It is like have cataract surgery (which I had a few years ago). The first one is terrifying, the second one not so much.

 

[PolarBear60]

You may think both at once is a longer recovery, but I did mine a year apart, and my recovery has effectively been two years. If I were still working, I would have had two stints of twelve weeks of time off work instead of one.


Jean

RTKR (Stryker Triathlon): 21 June 2016
LTKR (Stryker Triathlon): 21 April 2015
Right Knee Arthroscopy: 25 July 2006
Left Knee Arthroscopy: 10 February 2005

 

[Celle]

You wont regret having this surgery. Make sure you do your physical therapy. I am seven weeks out on my tka. Have trouble sleeping once in awhile and stiff if I sit too long. I had my other knee done four years ago and am happy with the results. Good advice on this forum. Were all in this together. You wont regret getting this done. There is life after bad knees.

Physical therapy (PT) is OK, as long as it is gentle and not excessive. It should never hurt.
- if it hurts, don't do it and don't allow anyone - especially a physiotherapist (PT) - to do it to you. exercise only gently
- if your leg swells more or gets stiffer in the 24 hours after doing it, don't do it again.

Since you are having bilateral TKRs all PT at first should be aimed at helping you to do your activities of daily living - getting up, moving around the house etc.

It isn't necessary to do lots of exercises aimed at increasing the bend (flexion) or extension of your knee. ROM (Range of Motion) will improve gradually, even without exercises, as your knee heals and the swelling goes down.

 

[2active]

One of my biggest concerns besides the ones I've already mentioned is going back to work. I own and direct a childcare and preschool program, and needless to say, its a really busy job! My teachers are going to hold down the fort while I'm out, but being the owner and director, I want to get back ASAP. I have been told by multiple people to be sure to do all the physical therapy, as this will be key in a speedy recovery. Our three adult children all live on their own and have full time jobs, and my husband works a lot of hours each week so I will probably need to have a nurse come to my house for therapy. I limped all day today.... I am soooo ready! (Still nervous)

 

[FlaGranny]

The PT came to my house a few times, but otherwise I did no PT. OS says I'm doing great. Doing "all" the PT most of them want you to do is going to make you swollen and sore and the swelling will actually impede your progress.

 

[Celle]

I have been told by multiple people to be sure to do all the physical therapy, as this will be key in a speedy recovery.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but all these people have given you the wrong advice. There is no such thing as a speedy recovery. You can't speed up your recovery by working hard at it, or by doing lots of exercises. In fact, doing too much exercise can slow down your recovery. If you overwork your healing tissues, they will react by becoming angry, irritated and swollen. That will impede your recovery.

You are going to have major surgery, in which your knee will be cut open, tissues pulled aside, two large bones will have their ends cut and shaped; Large, metal parts will be hammered and cemented into those bones; your knee will be flexed and extended, to check its range of motion; then all the tissues will be put back in place, tissues will be stitched back together and, finally, your skin incision will be closed with sutures, clips or glue.

You can't expect to have a speedy recovery after all that. It takes a full year before all your wounded soft tissues have healed completely, although you will feel almost back to normal by about 3 months.

I'm telling you this because so many people expect to be back to normal after about 6 weeks and they feel frustrated and worried when they find that they are still recovering. You are in this for the long haul and it will be a severe trial of your patience.

This is the approach that BoneSmart recommends for recovery - and it has worked for so many of us:
- rest, elevate, ice and take your pain meds by the clock
- if it hurts, don't do it and don't allow anyone - especially a physiotherapist (PT) - to do it to you. Exercise only gently
- if your leg swells more or gets stiffer in the 24 hours after doing it, don't do it again
- if you won't die if it's not done, don't do it
- never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can go to sleep!
- be active as much as you need to be but not more than is necessary, meaning so much that you end up being in pain, exhausted or desperate to sit down or lie down!

As for going back to work, you may be able to do some administration, office-type work earlier, but it takes about 12 weeks before you are able to go back to work - and then only part-time at first:
Phased return to work

I know that @referee54 went back to teaching at 8 weeks and he found it was too soon.
@KarriB will probably tell you about her experience, too.