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Very scared Newbie, lots of concerns.

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Hiya was thinking yup I do occasionally. We have a local online news letter under comunity council. Here people can put requests for help so poss dog walker. Also re dog walker and poss help re say shopping the Duke of Edinburgh programme with schools many have to do community work.

Legin THR Sep 14
 
Hi Legin, thanks for your thinking:thumb: I dont want to sound as if Im shooting all suggestions down in flames, Im grateful for all advice and suggestions, but I cant really do Any of those things unfortunately. My dog can only be walked by myself and eldest Daughter, hes fear-aggressive with strangers and wouldnt go anyway. The school kids shopping would have been good, but you need to be able to drive to go shopping here, there are no shops in the village, the closest shop is around 4 miles away and theres no bus service here. Thankyou though...any suggestions are welcome, its kind of you all to try, even if Im not making it easy for you haha.
 
Hi Zauberfiote, arnt Mums great!:angel: it must be hard for our elderly parents to want to help but feel helpless as they have limitations themselves. I feel that way that Im not going to be much help to my Daughter now after her c-section if I go ahead with the op at the same time as her. We want to help our kids, no matter how old we/they are.
If Mum came to stay for a " dry run" I would have to get a blow up bed, or camp bed or something, for one of us (me, obviously, not Mum) to sleep on, I live in a tiny bungalow with only 2 bedrooms. Maybe I could get a fold up bed or something and put it in my lounge and I could sleep in there while Mum has my bed. Its worth thinking about, thanks for that:thumb:
 
Hi Hippy Friends...well Ive decided that, somehow, I HAVE to have this surgery on June 15th. Ive thought of nothing else for days. My Mum is going to come and stay with my Daughter and dog for the week Im in there, then will have to go back home when I get home. Basically I will pretty much be looking after myself then, although Ive been trying to " teach" my daughter how to do things that might help me. Tonight she tried to put a quilt-cover on my bed, she got in such a knot and frustrated and stormed off BUT she tried and will try again tomorrow. Shes also started feeding the dog twice a day, its all little things but things she wouldn't normally do and over the weeks we will add to them . And Ive been preparing, Ive bought 2 grabbers, a leg-lifter thingy ,a long handled shoe horn and a sock-aid. We will live on microwave meals until Im able to be up and cooking.

Im terrified. i cant pretend otherwise. To have to put my care in the hands of someone who needs full time care herself, is a scary thought, but we have little choice so will make the best of it. My dog just wont be walked for weeks until Im able to try to walk him. So be it. Who knows, maybe all this things will make me push on and recover quickly. My main fears are the 90 degree thing, sleeping on my back and being left in pain if my daughter does have a melt- down and not help or something...it will happen at some point but hopefully not much.

So if anyone can answer a few questions, Id be greatful.

The 90 degree thing..Ive been practicing this, and Im finding it impossible, if Id have had the op, I would have a dislocated hip by now! How does anyone ever keep to it? Im already paranoid about it! I cant even get into my car if I have to do that.
Also, i have a manual recliner chair, I bought it, stupidly, before I saw the post on here about what kind of recliner to get. Am I going to be able to use it? i cant afford to buy another.

Another thing Ive read is about choosing the right surgeon. Ive tried looking up how many operations hes done, but I cant find anything on the website that was given on someone elses post here. While Im sure hes very experienced ( he specialises in complex hip surgery) he isnt the most approachable of people and I felt he was a bit curt when I asked him questions. So I wondered if anyone here had any knowledge of hip operations done at The Circle Bath Hospital. Surgeon is Harvey Sandhu. The hospital is a private hospital with its own Hip Unit, but I was able to choose to go there through NHS . Its actually more like a Hotel, but I do wish I knew someone who had knowledge of my surgeon or the hospital.

So...looks like Im doing this then. I am terrified. But going for it. Help?.
 
Hugs!!! Your daughter will learn to make a bed yet :) as far as you being in pain, whether or not she has a meltdown-- get an apron or popover jumper (american usage of jumper) with huge pockets. I found several choices in the Good Will shop. Keep a day's worth of pain meds in your pocket, and a water bottle in every room!
You are not going to be an invalid! You may not be able to wrestle a class 5 meltdown to the mat, but you will be able to get out of its way. Carry your cane for safety-- the house we lived in when I was post op had many blind corners, and I could convince neither my son nor his father to Slow Down Mom Has A Disability In The Balance Department :lol:
You have come this far-- I have confidence in your inner strength. Come here often-- I will keep track of you post op too and you can vent all you want!! :) :) :)


My phone sent this using BoneSmart Forum, clever phone!
 
Ok re90 degrees believe me you will be ok. Make sure you get a grabber from OT. This helps you in so many ways. Re your daughter she hae shown you that with small steps she is capable, dont have to tell you that there may be outbursts of frustration. Just use all the methods you have already learned. You have already proven to be an excellent mother carer and therapist. Use here as your rant wall you will need to offload. Oh I have about 30 years experience working with autism adhd in fact many areas that make these young people special and I mean this as a good special, the wee strides they make fill us with pride and love. Shout if ever you need. Oh btw we have many others here who also are in same situation as yourself,

Legin THR Sep 14
 
We are all here to cheer you on! Somehow things will get done, even if the bed does not get made correctly. You have a good handle on planning.

Like legin said use us to vent! I am so glad you are going through with the surgery. In a few months you will feel like a new woman.
 
Hi zauberfiote. One sentence in your post has stuck out to me and made a difference. " you will not be an invalid". ThankYou for that sentence:ok:. Thats what I was worried about, not being able to do anything, being at the mercy of others, and, well, being an invalid. For all her good intentions, I know my Daughter wont be able to care for me. The way Im going to,try to look at it from now on, is that we are going to "help each-other" through this. Its going to be equally hard for her, she hates any change of her routine, so we will just have to help each-other cope. It wont hurt her to learn a few more domestic chores though:). ThankYou for having faith in my ability to do this.

Legin, such lovely words, thankyou!:) I dont know about being an excellent Mother though....sometimes I feel Ive let her down, because she gets soooo frustrated if she cant do something and has a meltdown, so then I end up doing it for her:bignono:. Because of that, she doesnt do it ( hence the being 29 and still unable to put a duvet-cover on!) so Ive not done her any favours really. Yet other things she does " to death" ! Hoovering for instance, she doesnt just hoover like you or I would...she gets the nozzle attachment, gets down onto the floor and does every square inch over and over again, shes fastidious about it. The hoovers on for so long it overheats, we get through quite a few hoovers haha. But I know what you mean about small things filling us with pride. She emptied the rubbish bin today and thats a big thing because she has OCD about her hands being clean and germs. She would never touch the bin. She did it though:thumb:

Webbie, I really hope I feel like a new woman, cuz this one feels worn out at the moment:snork:. I have so many health problems that sometimes I think I need a whole new body, never mind just a hip! Diverticulitis, Optic Neuritis and M.S, although to be fair its relapsing/remitting M.S and Im actually pretty well with it right now. Its funny though, the hip pain has made all the other things pale into insignificance really, I know its not dangerous but its bloody painful isn't it. Believe it or not the other hip hurts more today though! That hip has "moderate" O.A yet is hurting more than the one with severe. Its like the hips have changed sides, are playing a trick on me.

Thankyou all for your support, what a great place this is!:thumb: Im sure that now Ive decided to go ahead with the op, Im going to drive you all mad with my endless questions and worries, so be prepared haha.
 
Ok now Im a bit upset. Just been chatting to my family ( mother brother and 2 sisters) and they've said Im making " too big a deal" out of this. My sister has spoken to someone who has just had a thr, they are 3 weeks in and living normally and back to work. So she thinks all my worries about it taking weeks/months to recover, are me being dramatic. She said I have to be walking at least an hour or two a day. And that I dont need as much care as Im saying. My brother said a lot of it is " in my head" and that 1000s of people have hip replacements every day and " just get on with it".
They think Im making a fuss. If they're like this now, what are they going to be like when Ive had it done!:shrug:
 
Oh that is frustrating!! On the same level as Great Aunt Tillie, who tapdanced off the operating table! Tell your family that everyone's recovery is different, and you expect to be doing your own recovery for yourself. If the thr were going to be theirs, you might hear them talking out the other side of their mouth! A properly paced recovery will give you a lifetime of hip joy!!



My phone sent this using BoneSmart Forum, clever phone!
 
Hello @Kay9
When I read your post I was full of expletives which I will not record for obvious reasons. We are all so being so brave and deal with the unexpected. You must make a point of showing them your scar as soon as you can, better still show them one of the hip ops on youtube! Wow you have bought out my vindictive side which I did not know was there!! Look after yourself in the middle of all of this.
K x
 
Just reading through your thread and this caught my eye:

"The 90 degree thing..Ive been practicing this, and Im finding it impossible, if Id have had the op, I would have a dislocated hip by now!"

We all follow what our surgeons say about precautions but I found some research done at Guy's where 50% of the patients were given precautions and 50% not. In five years there was one dislocation in each group. Once I read this I didn't feel so bad about the fact that I kept forgetting the precautions. It not an automatic dislocation.

I admire your approach to everything and am pleased that you are sticking to the plan. x
 
About the 90 degree thing. I didn't have any problem with it because my body reminded me every time I went over. Listen to you body, it will tell you what it's ready for. I too was concerned about the restrictions but other than a few inconveniences, it was really no big deal. The first week sucks big time and that's when you'll need the most help, but it gets better from there. I was able to pick things up if I had to with the golfers stance. I also would have sworn to you that I would never be able to sleep on my back for any length of time. I just found a way to be comfortable enough and I slept like a baby (pain meds help a lot with that LOL)
As for your well meaning family, try to shrug it off. Unless THEY have ever been through a major surgery, they have no idea what they're talking about. Keep your chin up, it will be here and gone in no time and you'll wonder what the big deal was about.
 
Hi @Kay9 really they dont know untill they have had something like. I suggest they watch a few youtube vids.
Re daughter firstly we all have things that for some unknown reason we cant do and the frustration and dent in confidance it can bring so its similar for daughter but look at end desired result turn it on head. Re duvet cover get daughter to give it to you turn inside out put hands inside and grasp corners of duvet get daughter to pull cover doen whilst you are holding it. Also if cover isnt of special note and you have spare duvets and covers have them made up prior. Its about making life as attainable as posible but bringing your daughter on board for the journey by any means thats good for bothof you. Oh never worry about shooting me down in flames. Worked in field for eons but more so I brought up two daughters for most of the time they are both at uni now and I have developed an aspestos posterior

Legin THR Sep 14
 
@Kay9 I found your surgeon's stats and they look pretty good! I hope this link works but if it doesn't he is on the National Joint Registry website under Mr Harvinder Singh Sandhu. His main focus in on hips - that's exactly what you want. And he has the volume of hip surgeries that you want as well. The fact that your hospital has a dedicated joint replacement unit is a big plus! It means they already have a program in place and that you will get expert care.

Please don't worry about the 90 degree thing. I had that restriction after my LTHR and was very concerned. But frankly it all came naturally. Your new hip just doesn't want to move in that direction for the first few weeks. Use a grabber - I had 3 placed in different areas of the house.

They will teach you everything you need to know about moving around in your own before you are discharged from hospital. This includes getting in and out of a car, dressing with the grabber, up and down stairs.

One thing you will need to watch with your dog - if he is very heavy and jumps up on you when you are first home it could be a problem. You don't want any risk of falling on that new hip. In addition, if he pulls or bolts away from you during a walk this could also be a problem.

I was alone most of the time following both THRs. It's really not an issue. With a bit of preparation and creativity you should be just fine.
 
Hi all, thanks for your posts and support. Ive been a bit floored by my families attitude to be honest. They are a "healthy" bunch and I think they are a bit fed up of me and my health problems to be honest. I try not to lean on them or put on them at all, which is probably another reason Im trying to do this on my own, I guess?

Asking them to read up on here was met with " rolled eyes" and deep sighs ( ooh that rhymed haha) so Im not going to raise the subject again. i,ll be fine no matter what:thumb:

Such a relief to read about the 90 degree thing too, thanks people for putting my mind at rest. And thanks Legin for the tip about the duvet cover, why didnt I think of that!:unsure::heehee:

Jaycey, thanks SO MUCH for finding that about my surgeon!:ok: Im so relieved and happy! He sounds like quite an expert in his field, and yep, the fact its a hip unit too is such a good thing.
I like that he specialises in " complex" cases too.

Thankyou for taking the time to find that. You all rock:thankyou:
 
I had my RTHR at a specialist joint replacement unit. It was magic! They are focused totally on getting you up and mobile immediately. I was the youngest person in my area but they didn't limit my mobility at all. You are in the best possible place for this surgery!
 
Today the family came for a visit, and I was determined to get them to " hear" me about the extent of this surgery. I MADE them look at some of the post-surgery pics on here, and MADE them read some of the recovery posts:thumb:. I think it might have done some good, they seemed a little more on-board ( although my brother did still say he thought I was being a tad pessimistic and that maybe my attitude should be that I WILL be walking without a stick within a month tops, mind over matter etc)

Hopefully Ive given them something to think about though....

Bizarrely, Ive had very little pain today, walked for over 90minutes, through uneven woods and even climbed up a steep ditch. Bit sore tonight but it did make me question if I even need this op! Had days like this before though, so Im not being fooled.:nah:

Goodnight everyone ( or good morning, depending where you are :) )
 
Kay9 said:

Bizarrely, Ive had very little pain today, walked for over 90minutes, through uneven woods and even climbed up a steep ditch. Bit sore tonight but it did make me question if I even need this op! Had days like this before though, so Im not being fooled.:nah:

Goodnight everyone ( or good morning, depending where you are :) )
Click to expand...

Isn't it bizarre how all of a sudden the pain is not there? I have had such pain that I could hardly walk. Stepping and putting weight on the leg sent pinching pain. That cleared up but was replaced by horrible piriformis pain. That cleared up and now it is groin pain. I am now walking without a cane. So yes..BIZARRE

Hope your family does think about what you have told and showed them.

Night night!
 
Thankyou Webbie:). I hope so too.

Yep the body is a weird thing isnt it lol...I will probably suffer for my adventures today, but had a good day none-the-less.

Goodnight xx
 
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