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Revision TKR TKR - Feel like a Failure<

Nice to see you again! I’m not “there” yet, either. I recently posted an 11 month update on my thread, it’s on page 26 if you want to check it out.
 
So glad to chime in on this discussion. I'm almost 9 months out and still experiencing stiffness and soreness. It's still 3 steps forward, 2 back. So frustrating! Last week was a "hallelujah" week. My knee felt very close to the "feel" of my other knee that is 2 1/2 yrs old. Alas. this week it has slipped back a bit yet again.

The thing that helps me is noticing myself engaging in activities or having thoughts that weren't there a month ago. Like "better get my bike tires pumped up". the weather is getting better and I really want to ride. That thought never occurred to me until recently. Or...maybe i don't need my sleeve on at Jazzercise today. Again, progress but subtle.

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm progressing or just getting used to the feelings.
I do believe that it will all pass in time. My other knee recovery was much faster and easier. I do remember lingering stiffness but not as long. It seems it's all totally unpredictable and really calls forth immense patience.

I am so grateful for this forum. The loved ones around us get tired of hearing about it all, I'm sure, but here we can yack as much as we need to! My husband has been very ind and patient but this is my home for continuing to buoy me up!

Hang in there @chrisknee.
 
@chrisknee , I think there are quite a few members who have stiffness or soreness at 9 months post op. This recovery can take a full year before feeling 100%. I know I needed every day of that year! Just think about where you were a month or two ago. :yes:
 
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@Hopetohike - it is so good to hear your experience - I feel the same way and can definitely relate to 3 steps forward 2 steps backwards! Sounds like we had our operations about the same time. I hadn't heard of anyone having stiffness and soreness beyond a few weeks or months prior to coming to this forum. People I spoke to before my operation told me how wonderfully well things went for them. I was in real despair until I found this forum and saw others had experienced much of the same. Everyone seems to indicate that, given time and patience, things will be OK. That has given me hope and kept me going. I don't post as often as I should because I think people will get tired of seeing me talk about lack of progress. You are right though, on this forum we can talk and encourage each other. Thanks so much for your posting!
 
PLEASE DO NOT FEEL A FAILURE! We are all very different. We all need different things to heal. You PT did a lot of mental damage that you are now trying to talk yourself out of. Slow down, enjoy life as YOU need to do it to heal. The BEST PT my doctor prescribed was warm water therapy. So nice to do in s warm pool with guidance but nobody pushing. They also did some electric stem PT to relax muscles and THEN I could do it. Try not to be afraid. Public spaces made me anxious but did small short outings to get my courage back. You can do this. :sorry::yes!:
 
@Walkinginthesand - thank you for your encouragement. Are you over your anxiousness about public spaces now? I still find myself getting nervous and I hate that. I'm OK at home but when I get a store or public place I really tighten up. I always carry my cane and I hate that too. I'm still stiff so can't walk fast. Idea of doing short outings is a good one. Always makes me feel "normal" to hear someone else experienced what I am going through - especially when they have overcome it. Thanks again.
 
Oh @chrisknee I hate admitting how uncomfortable I am in public. I taught high school for 30, made all sorts of presentations, walked the halls with hundreds of students and now I recoil at the thought. I was even more confident limping with the hip pain. I think it is two major reasons- I am still only 25% weight bearing and hobble on a walker and I feel I really can’t take care of myself. We took our daughter to lunch and I clattered into the restaurant, ate and laughed but felt very secure and comfortable when we got home. I know my home and feel safe here. As you and I gain strength, we WILL GET MORE CONFIDENT. Let’s pinkie swear on that. I see my doctor tomorrow and hope to transition to a cane; I hope that helps my confidence. Keep at it, I am too
 
@Walkinginthesand You've got a deal - pinkie swear!!! I am going with neighbors and my husband to a restaurant tonight and I feel anxiety but I am going to do it! One step at a time...ha. Good luck with the transition to the cane...give yourself time. One of my issues was listening to people who had surgery before me telling me how they never used a cane at all ... really played with my head. However, reading about others' experiences on this site let me know I am not alone. Better safe than sorry ... do what feels comfortable and the time will come when we don't need a cane. Yes, we WILL GET MORE CONFIDENT...I am positive!!
 
Chrisknee,
I used a cane or crutches for 2+ years after my revision when ever I had a long walk ahead of me. Use what makes you comfortable, and feel safe.
I still elevate my leg if I have done more than usual activities that day.
Your knee will continue to improve over time,
 
@chrisknee I’m the poster child for anxiety, depression, unconfidence, knee stiffness, fear, you name it, I got it. I don’t go out often for fear of falling and socially I’m more comfortable at home. This TKR has taken a mental toll on me. I sought help from my pcp and on anxiety and antidepressants meds. My first grandchild was born Aug 1 2017 and to this day, I have not been able to pick her up and walk around with her in my arms. It breaks my heart. Due to my left knee now crumbling apart, I’m having another tkr 6 months after my first one. God gave me crappy knees, something I’m trying to deal with. Being I’m 52, I never in a million years would ever have thought my knees wouldn’t have lasted me my lifetime, so resorting to knee replacements has made me feel very old and frail. I’m trying like hell to accept this fact, **** knees. And keeping my eye on the future prize someday, I will feel normal once again. Hang in there. I’m hanging along with ya. We can do this. Oh yes we can!
 
@Needhope you will get there. I have had 2 knee replacements. First one at 48 - rotten knees know no age restrictions! I am keeping you in my thoughts and prays. With health comes more confidence. The sun is coming.
 
@Walkinginthesand When I opened Bonesmart app this morning and read your message first thing this morning, I got chills because I needed assurance once again that everything will be ok. I wasn’t this afraid first time around with RTKR, but for unknown reasons, this time I’m scared to death. I dread going through it again. It’s like reliving a nightmare for me. The memories of the pain and struggles I went through are very fresh in my mind. I’m doing this once again, not just because my left knee is crumbling apart, but most importantly because I long so desperately to get my life back. I want to pick up my granddaughter and walk her around in my arms. I want to start taking little hiking walks through the beautiful woods, walk on the beach, walk down the street, walk like normal. Something soooo simple that I can’t do. It’s been a couple years since my knee pain has altered my life. Putting it on hold. Actually, my life has been on hold since I was young. I’m just done with all this knee **** and want a life. Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. God Bless.
 
You need a new vision of who you are! You can ge a GREAT grandma from a seated position. I play leggos at the kitchen table. You don’t walk well, but you are loved and needed. When I shattered my femur I SAT for 5 months waiting for it to heal. I visualize a very dark and dense forest I had to struggle through. There was a tiny bright light at the end. My goal. Each day I moved through the growth. I sat on a log and looked at the quiet, still beauty. The next day I may have not gone far, but I made sure to watch the light and my progress plus the beauty in the darkness of the forest. Every day the light got bigger!!!! You will get to the meadow on the other side. There are birds and flowers and a beautiful waterfall. Just pause. Realize your worth and be calm in your darkness.
 
I'm so glad I've just read through this thread. It's put my mind at ease, and I didn't realize I was being nervous!! I'm 9 months post total revision - in my mind I should be "fine." Even the surgeon keeps says its a baby knee, be kind to it, and it will come around. Today is a perfect example of me not paying attention to my body. We attended a symposium - of course had to part what seemed like 15 miles away. When we got out of the car loving hubby very politely asked if "you might want your cane." Of course not!! How wrong I was. After finally getting inside, then being seated I dreaded the 5 mile hike back to the car. But.... lesson learned, take the cane!!!

I think everyone has the expectation that you've had the surgery, you should be fine. Then we fall for it, but we pay the price for it in pain & swelling.

Who is with me? Raise you right hand: I promise to be better to myself. I promise to use a cane / walker whenever I need to, regardless of the circumstances. I promise to elevate & ice months after surgery as they are helpful in pain reduction.

What else?
 
I love my trekking poles!!! I will use them always if I'm needing to walk far or up/down hills. I know that I walk much better with them - my stride is good. Don't let any "tool" get in the way of letting you do something better than you would do without it. It's a good thing! Use the cane. Use the stick. Whatever helps, use it. :)
 
Absolutely nothing wrong with using a cane, especially after you’ve been seated for a good long while and need to get your legs under you. I always have one in my car because you just never know.
 
Ahem!
Ladies, this is chrisknee's thread.

Please can we focus on her recovery, because the talk has gone a bit away from that topic?
 
Oh my.. yes of course. My apologies Chrisknee. I hope your anxiety has lessened so you can enjoy time with your friends and family. Especially during this time of year everyone seems to get a little cabin fever. Hugs!
 
@chrisknee every time I go out it gets easier. The HARDEST thing for me is to push myself into that zone of discomfort. I have gone further each day but I get fearful of aching/hurting again or “not being able to get out of a store”. Kind of the same fears as before surgery. So I wait in the car.

I went and went on Thursday with grandson and yesterday was a painful day. After grumping to myself, I came to the conclusion that may be the way it works for awhile. It’s just a very hard situation to be in.

Your desires are to be able to do normal for once, right? Mine is to get back to who I was. Both hard. BUT...we are here for each other. I wish I would have checked my BoneSmart yesterday as I was grumbling about- it would have helped.

My husband had cancer two years ago and it is “check up time”. Add that into my feelings yesterday and you have a whole pot of hot mess. This too shall pass @chrisknee - remember our pinkie swear.
 
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