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Terrified

@Mollymax I suggest you have your husband watch the operation on Youtube to see how "easy" it really is.

My last recovery was quite difficult, and so my husband knows what to expect and has geared himself up for a difficult recovery this time around also. You never know how a recovery will be (even on the same knee in my case), but it won't be a minor deal nor will you be back on your feet in a few days other than to use the restroom, etc. If he persists in that attitude, then let that attitude be his problem and you just recover in whatever way your knee dictates. We're here to support you, and you can rest assured everyone here knows how hard it can be and will help get you through it. (I can't say I'll be able to help as my surgery is a few days before yours, but everyone else is ready, willing and able to support and advise you). Good luck and don't let your husband's lack of knowledge dissuade you. (Btw-if my husband said he thought I was going to milk the situation, he'd find himself regretting that statement very quickly...:rotfl:)
 
I had one surgery (TKR) with general anesthesia and my infection surgery (a month later) with a spinal, I was totally out for both. Waking up or coming out of anesthesia was much easier with the spinal. I was joking with the nursesin recovery and making sense, or so I’m told. :heehee:
 
One of the great things about Bonesmart is that it is a good resource for our partners/children/caregivers after the surgery. My husband read much of the information here so he was basically prepared and had some idea of what to expect afterwards. There is a timeline here (and I need to find it again) which I printed out so we had a good idea of what to expect insofar as recovery is concerned. That, in particular, was very helpful for him. It might be helpful to your husband if he read some of the info and watched the video about the surgery so he understands this is common now but that doesn't mean it's like removing a splinter or something.
 
I agree with Lauren, it would be great for your husband to read a post or two from BoneSmart. I think Lauren is talking about the Activity progression for TKRs. It is a great resource to help gauge your recovery and activity.
 
Mollymax said:
Laurenkate I am like you I have forgotten how to walk properly. My knees are so stiff I can't seem to lift them of the ground properly and seem to be constantly tripping over my toes. The unatural gait makes me very tired when trying to walk long distances. I used to be able to walk a marathon but over the last few years I have got so tired and gradually the mileages got less and less. I am so hopeful that after I get new knees I can build up my miles again and by this time next year be back to walking marathon distances. That is the main thing that is keeping me going and overriding the horrible fear I have.
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Hello molly
My name is rick I’m a year and 1/2 after bilateral TKR
I’m doing very well. Walk a couple miles every day. Swim laps. Have a healthy lifestyle and pretty much all’s good
Sorry that I chuckle a bit reading of your fear of needles!!! So sorry!!! I had a super gross fear of catheters!!! So much so that I stayed many times pre surgery “ please you can cut my knees up, just don’t put a catheter in me!!!! I would double up at the thought!!!
I obviously needed some inspiration. I was watching TV at the time...,a St Jude commercial was on. Young children bravely fighting cancer. While their parents I’m sure going through unbelievable hell
I decided I had no right to feel sorry for myself. Because while yes, I’m going to go through a rough patch. The result statistically should be an overall life improvement. The presurgery medication had me believe it or not, laughing uncontrollably ( 10 minutes before the epidural, which was not a big deal, and I was OUT, when I first arrived in the post op room my wife tells me I was happily announcing the dancing girls would arrive soon! I don’t remember that. But very soon after that I began the recovery journey. Yes there’s pain. Real pain. But there’s also good pain management. And after a short time it gets better and better. And you feel like you’ll never escape the stiffness that feels like you legs are fully wooden, but it gets better and better and it may take months longer than you think it should. But if you take your meds and you keep a stiff upper lip and you do you rehab and you work at it and you elevate those legs ALOT and you ice them and you listen to the fantastic people on this site like susieshoes, you’re agonna chuckle about your silly pre op fears. The technology and the pain management and the support here will get you through to a new life. I kid you not. And you can do it.
 
If I was with you, I’d hold your hand, and tell you honestly, you’re gonna do fine. The technology and drugs (once they work out what’s best for you, will get you through it) (I was done with the painkillers after 6 weeks —with bilateral). You’ve got a “mission “ in front of you and you’re in a time where the medical technology is way advanced on the past and this thing... you can do it. Remember there’s those people fighting tougher stuff than you or I, and have a lesser potential result. You can kick this fears butt and build a better life
 
Thanks all and thanks Rickj for offering to hold my hand if you were here.. Lol. I had a major meltdown this morning with hubby and ended up in floods of tears trying to tell him my fears. Maybe now he will understand what the operation entails. Lovetocookandsew when is your operation? I have to be at work Tues, Wed and Thurs next week and have a night out on Friday night. So next week I will be busy so hopefully keep my mind off things before going in on Tuesday. I will give hubby things to read up on then he may understand a bit better. Maybe this mornings meltdown makes him realise just how frightened I am. I've realised it's not just the operation but the whole recovery that is terrifying me.
 
Thanks KarriB for the progression chart. That was a useful guideline and I hadn't found it yet. It will be a good refresher when planning the next several weeks after my tkr.
 
Just been out walking the dogs. That was the most painful walk I have done in a long time and considering in May I was walking up to 20 miles today's 4 miles was total agony on every step. Maybe my knees are telling me something.
 
Mollymax said:
Beachy good luck for October. I am like you. I have made myself physically ill and so depressed over the fear and worry. I have been reading everything I can find on here. There seems to be a difference between the UK and USA over recovery and physio . The closer its getting the more stressed I am.
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Mollymax, I WAS terrified. As you are now. I heard of some folks that told tales of their recoveries that had me wanting to run and hide. And some folks that exaggerated in the other direction. Then I found Bonesmart and found threads of normal to amazing recoveries. The more information I found led me to a place of understanding that this recovery is up to me. There will be pain, but it is controllable. I can control pushy US physical therapists. I will have to rest, ice and elevate (a lot). Recovery will take a good while. And to be rid of these painful knees and take longs walks on my beach will be the goal. The knees are getting worse every day. Emotionally, I am soooo very ready for October.
My husband didn't understand this operation and the recovery either. He does now. I emailed the recovery time line to him knowing he would read his emails. Then he started asking questions and now he's had "the great awakening " LOL
I hope you can overcome your fears soon. Hang in there. You have lots of people cheering you on!
 
Molly, my doctor told me when the pain got bad enough, I would be begging him to replace me knee(s). And he was right. It's very, very hard to explain & I didn't understand it at the time but the recovery from the surgery was much more manageable than that grinding, arthritic, bone on bone pain. It isn't fun and the worst part was not sleeping much for a while but knowing things are going to get better instead of worse makes it emotionally & psychologically easier. It's also weird about that bone pain and how quickly it can get worse. I didn't want to have this surgery until next January but my husband convinced me to have it sooner rather than later. My knee pain was manageable 6 weeks ago but has become close to unbearable in the past 2 weeks which makes the idea of surgery easier.
 
Laurenkate that has happened to me too. I was walking on with bearable pain up to possibly a week ago. This week's dog walks have been really painful. At times I felt like phoning my husband to come pick me up. I never normally sit down during a dog walk but the last 3 days have found me walking a route I know had benches so I could sit and get a bit rest from the pain. Just 6 weeks ago I did a 20 mile walk followed by a 15 mile walk 6 days later. I can't believe how things have changed My surgeon was surprised that I was walking those miles when she looked at my xrays.
I have emailed my husband the timeline and a couple of other bits as like you beachy he will read his emails so fingers crossed he understands better once he does.
I have read so many of the posts on here that I have started to feel a bit better about things. I am still having panic attacks and still terrified but feel more positive. My biggest thing is going to be patience. I don't have any. I want to be back up and on my feet as quickly as I can and back out walking. I need to be fit and healthy for my holiday exactly 12 weeks to the day later as taking my 5 year old Grandson away to Gran Canaria for a week. So I have to get fit by then.
 
Molly, Perhaps this is another weird thing to say but my first tkr taught me a lot and allowed me to let go of feeling like I was responsible for anything and everybody. I didn't have a choice but to give myself permission to take care and let my body tell me what I needed and most women probably truly need that. It's also taught me much about patience and to truly understand and have a lot more empathy for people who have lived with life-long physical problems. We're planning on taking a relatively short trip this fall (something to look forward to)with the idea that if I can do it; great....if I can't or don't feel up to it, then that'll be fine too. After a lifetime of taking care of close and extended family members, it's freeing to just let go and realize the world won't fall down if i'm not available to plan, organize, and take care of whatever everybody else thinks I need to be doing.
 
Mind if I ask why you are walking such long distances when your tkr is right around the corner? Is it because of your pups? Not judging just curious. Good thing Tootsie (my furball) is tiny. And hates the heat. These knees ain't made for walking.
 
Just know that there isn’t anything you can do to hurry along recovery. The best you can do is elevate, ice, rest the knees and follow the Activity progression for TKRs. Trying to hurry recovery often makes it worse.
 
Laurenkate maybe I will learn patience and to look after number one instead of worrying about hubby and children and grandchildren.
Beachy I was a marathon /half marathon runner for 20 years until the knees packed in then when I stopped running the weight went on big style. I carried on short walks until I got a little weight off then decided I wanted to get fit again and I took up long distance walking events. I walked many a marathon events over the last few years with friends. The Moonwalk being one of them. I didn't like doing nothing and the events have me a purpose. It's as if I was saying look I have knackered knees but I can still get out there, I can still do something. Its as if I needed to prove myself and that I wasn't too old to still compete. Don't know if that makes sense or not.
My fur babies are tiny - a Yorkshire terrier and a Lhasa Apso. Their mileage is about 4 to 5 miles a day. The Yorke will run up to about 6 miles with hubby.
I understand from these forums I can't hurry recovery but as long as I am fit to go on holiday I will accept that. I don't know when they will do the other knee but I was kinda hoping to get back into events by next summer.
 
You should be ok for walking events by next summer, not sure about marathons, but definitely 5ks. Building up a walking regimen slowly has worked for me. I walk a few miles everyday, bike (exercise) 8-10 and now with summer swimming 20 laps. New knees will give you your life back, just on their own timetable.
 
Molly, what part of Scotland are you from? My family lives in Airdrie.
 
Mollymax said:
I need to be fit and healthy for my holiday exactly 12 weeks to the day later as taking my 5 year old Grandson away to Gran Canaria for a week. So I have to get fit by then.
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You cannot have a time goal because you will not be in charge of your recovery, your knee will be in charge.

While you may be able to, my knee would not have been able to take a trip at 12 weeks.
 
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