I understand completely! I am a just a few years younger than you - creeping up on 39 - with three daughters ages 6, 7 and 10, and a son aged 16. I run my own freelancing business as a marketing consultant, as well as working outside the house for two different companies. One has had to hire other people since my surgery, which means I likely won't get that job back, and my other outside job involves running around a lot to different clients. My freelance clients are getting antsy, so I'm trying to focus enough to do website content creation - and it's REALLY not my best work, plus I keep falling asleep
It is so, so hard to go from being needed and independent to having to rely on others. I am married, and he is beyond wonderful about all of this, but I am really crabby when I can't do things. He's been taking my daughters to all of the "mom" things I usually do - ballet, karate, Girl Scouts, school festivals, etc.
And sleep? Ah, sleep. We bought a recliner so I could sleep comfortably with my knee elevated. Seemed like a great idea. The only problem is my girls were really worried when I was in the hospital, so they feel better if they come down in the night and sleep with me. It would be comical if I actually got any sleep in this scenario - the 6 year old ends up in the recliner WITH me, the 10-year-old ends up on the couch, and the 7-year-old ends up on the floor. Adorable - and no sleep for me!
I'm glad you have a son who is being a big help to you! I'm sorry that you're feeling blue. I've been experiencing this, too. If it makes you feel any better, I cried for half an hour last night because my scar is ugly and crooked (which hadn't bothered me at all before)
Hang in there!