THR Proud of myself, it feels like a massive achievement!

So sorry to hear this. You are really having a tough time… I hope your sons can help a bit more if they can. It’s a shame your husband couldn’t take some Carer leave to get you through the next few weeks.

I hope you can get some help!
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time @Hipopapotamus. How far down the road are you post op?
I also have 2 teens, girls….. you would think that means I’d be blessed with them being more helpful, er, nope! The teen stages are so so hard and adding in a hip replacement to the mix is something I wasn’t prepared for. My youngest is 15 and off school today due to support teacher strikes (Scotland). So she has online school and should have been logged in by now and I can still hear her alarm going. I’m lying in bed feeling guilty that I can’t muster any effort quite yet to go charge into her room!
I’ve also been stressed about lack of house work. I’ve offered youngest £20 today and given her a list of chores. She has to do them before any money is exchanged!

Cooking - I’ve decided to attempt some slow cooker meals. Starting today. Is this something you could do? Pre chopped veg is a godsend including onions for casseroles.

Sorry overall to hear you sounding so down. Is it something you could talk to your GP about?
Thanks @Clairebella, I’m 11 weeks post op but set back I think is due to driving. Feeling a bit brighter today. Youngest was a tad more well mannered this morning. Need to try to be mentally strong. Yes I’ll get back into slow cooking esp now but cooler- great idea I do send out for coop basket delivery so am lucky for that. Hope yours are being helpful or at least not bothering you today. How is your recovery been so far? X
Managed to get out for short walk in woods nearby today with dog so that has lifted me thanks for your care everyone, feels like a long lonely journey I wasn’t expecting it to be so hard x
Getting out for a walk is always a lift. I’m going to do a short 7-10 min walk today!
I’m at 4 weeks now and can see an improvement for sure compared to 2 weeks ago but it’s not been a straight line! I would also say my mood is pretty low as I feel quite isolated and lonely when husband is at work, eldest teen away at Uni in Glasgow (we are in Edinburgh) and when youngest at high school it is a long quiet day! I do have visits but all my friends work full time.
I am getting through A LOT of TV!! Plus listening to an audio book currently.
I feel guilty that I’m not being get up and go enough for them
Please try to let go of this. You are recovering from major surgery and as long as your family's basic needs are being met, they will survive and likely forget this point in time. I am guessing this all troubles you, more than it bothers them.
I just wish everyone would leave me alone to recover.
Consider trying to impress upon your family that the longer it takes for you to get the restorative rest you need to recover, the longer the situation will remain the way it is currently.

House is awful but will have to stay that way
Maybe time for a family meeting to designate "temporary duties" for everyone, such as cleaning, helping with meals and the clean up involved afterward. Make bigger batches of favorite meals so there are lots of leftovers.
Get help on the weekend, by catching up on laundry and tidying the home and maybe even some meal planning or prep for the week ahead, so you're off to a good start when Monday rolls around. I get the impression you are feeling your life out of control and that is enough to make anyone feel uneasy. Take back control of your home and I believe you'l feel better mentally. Good luck, Hipopapotamus! :friends:
I will be going back to my home in a few weeks. I am nervous as my two dogs are going to be with me. I think I finally came to the understanding that even though I was giving it my all trying to clean and tidy that my hips kept me from doing it as I did before they got bad. I may seek outside help once a month to do a deep cleaning once I return. It will involve trade offs but it will be worth it. I had to do this with yard work and it helped so much. My sister cooks very simple but delicious meals which I plan to do when I am in charge of all my meals. I am seeing this as a hard reset on my attempt at being Wonder Woman. I am trying to determine what is actually working for me and what isn’t. Peace of mind and simplifying looks really good right now. You might not be able to change many things but tweaking a few things might be enough to make a pleasant difference. I am reading everyone’s posts to gain new ideas to try- pre-chopped veggies, slow cooker, a pre-cooked meal for Mondays. Happy Friday eve!
Hey anyone having a tough time? I’m struggling to feel like me. Resting, not being able to get stuff done is not me, it’s getting me down. I put myself out too much yesterday putting a couple of pieces of artwork into frames to help a friend out for their exhibition (no one submitted anything so I rode in as cavalry) it was really pleasing to have the opportunity and help a friend BUT now I’ve over done it and can barely walk today. Pain everywhere, needing crutch. Thinking am I sure there’s not something wrong here? I really didn’t do that much. Maybe I did. Hard to remember. Having a nap now. So much emotional stress going on. Oldest struggling in new college, drove a 45 min round trip today with him crying in car, needn’t have bothered as he couldn’t go in. My youngest got to go back to hospital Wed and Fri for more Crohns tests. What am I going to do, how can I not overdo it?
I am sorry you're struggling. You are less than three months post op in a recovery that can take a full year for many, usually noticing gradual improvement all along the way. Some even notice progress into their second and third years post op.

A lack of restorative rest overnight may be contributing, if you're not sleeping well. I am assuming the pain is in your op leg / hip. If so, rest, icing and elevation will likely help. It sounds like the emotional stress you're under may be contributing to the energy drain you're feeling.
What am I going to do, how can I not overdo it?
Contemplate what a normal day consists of, activity wise, for you. At this point, you should probably be able to engage in all of the activities of daily living as well as accomplish some household chores. This along with some regular walks outdoors should suffice. If you're not at this point, you may want to progress by starting out slowly and gradually increasing time and distance. It may help your energy level to take that time alone, out in nature, or the sunshine, experiencing the sights and sounds and clearing your mind.
If you're not already, consider giving it a try. Good luck, Hipopapotamu!
You are now an exhibited artist! (You may have already been one.) It would be thrilling if one of your works sold! What an accomplishment!
Thankyou @Hippie Chick I’m aiming for “semi-professional” at the moment I’m a hobbyist really. I have sold one or two paintings through college but was a lovely surprise opportunity to exhibit but I forgot to self care. Still, it has given me a lift and it’s in a local cafe so it is exciting. Xx
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@Hippie Chick I didn’t see your previous message about preparing to go home that you posted last week, my apologies. A deep clean cleaner once a month sounds like a good idea. My house is horrendous and it’s starting to get me down. Will look into finding someone. I could do with someone to help me tidy up I have communication difficulties around this due to Autism and ADHD but I’m looking for support. Good idea re reading through what other people are doing to lighten the load. I love your positivity. Have figured out that need to enlist a lift to get my boy to hospital on Friday rather than fretting about parking and get there. I’m finding Simple problem solving quite difficult probably just tired and panicked. Great to hear about your preparation. Thanks for taking time xx
Some of my work @Hippie Chick

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Your artwork is beautiful! I love them all. I've been catching up and reading back through your thread.. I hope you can find someone to help with housework. It would be a great respite for you. Not to mention the mental boost that it would give.

Hang in there. Try to rest when you can and maybe try some meditation. I sometimes try some simple mantras, even at a red light. Some of our traffic lights are crazy long so it works well.
I'm sorry things are tough for you currently. ((hugs))
You're very talented! I love your paintings, Hipopapotamus!
I hope you've been doing okay over the past couple weeks since you last updated.
Stopping by to wish you a Happy Three Month Anniversary. Enjoy the rest of the week!

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