Cathy, you're darn right you will keep on keeping on! Here's what I'm hearing:
1. You're stuck in a waiting limbo period right now, until your 11/4 follow-up.
2. While you're stuck, you're constantly thinking, analyzing, questioning, searching for more hard answers.
3. While you're stuck, you're also still in pain.
4. Really, you just want a hard and fast answer to the problem, and then take action on it to fix it.
5. But....see #1.
Would it help at all to think of the next few weeks as being similar to the immediate recovery period after surgery, when you can't do much, and you just have to get through the next 4 weeks with the least amount of pain and the most amount of distraction? With that in mind, what can you do to address the pain? Meds, massage, ice, rest....whatever. What will distract you? If this were me, it would be books, friends, knitting with friends, lunch out with friends, TV or movies, difficult convoluted logic games. I don't know what works for you....what helped during your early recovery time?
I can't remember (CRS disease)....are you working now? Can you get any time to get away to someplace you can manage and would enjoy being there? A resort, a state park (since the national parks are closed!!!!), an interesting small town, a spa type place, someplace where the fall colors are amazing....whatever? A weekend in Vegas, if that floats your kayak?
Just know that this is a safe place to vent, and we care. That won't fix a thing, but it's better than not having a safe place to vent, or no one caring. Treat yourself well....assume that if you had a crystal ball, it would show you a good outcome when this particular stressful period is done and over.
Sharon