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I, too, am sorry you are enduring so much! I agree, it does not seem fair! I have been fortunate with my hip, but in other areas of my life I have had major setbacks and have been given a "canned" and heartless pep talk!

I do know this, as a nurse, "pain makes cowards if us ALL". It doesn't matter if it is physical or emotional. . .if we cannot see an END, a point in time, or some hope of making sense of suffering, we may be overwhelmed by what we are enduring!

For me, and I hope for you, my relationship with Christ and reading His Word make this world's pain and suffering bearable. . .not because suffering ceases, but because Christ knows first-hand my human-ness, my every sorrow and pain and He has promised there is an end-point of eternal, painless, life with Him! There will come a time when I will shed my bone pain, my broken heart, my sorrow, rejection, fear, and loneliness and begin to be FULLY ALIVE ! Knowing that, I find all of my joy in the hope of His promises!




Mercy1
LTHR 5May14
 
Lovely to hear from you but gosh - you have been through so much my friend!
Tropic Lady/Special Lady said:
I'm extremely tired of hearing "Oh I know someone that had a THR and they were up and back to normal within a few weeks"…
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I hear you! There is just no such thing as a simple recovery. Back to normal within weeks - NOT!

Hang in there. As you know the blues will pass. Please post here so we can help you through this time. We care!
 
Hi @Tropic Lady/Special Lady sorry to find you still struggling with your hip issues.

I have found through my own long journey (not as long as yours though) that there are many many people who ask the 'how are you ' question without ever wanting a real answer. They tune out if it's not good, ok or could be better. They don't want the miserable truth.

For me I've tried to take it as a learning curve, something I can give back to others who need help or to move on from friendships in which I gave much too much time too. I'm certainly going to be more selfish with who I give my time to having been let down by so many.

Your journey is not over yet, but perhaps as you are going through it you can think about what you want Your life to be. As for those who have yet another story, perhaps you can kindly tell them that although you know they mean the very best for you, that in your own journey you can't hear anymore that you just need to get through each day and people to understand just how very hard that is. The success stories are easy but the non standard journeys test you. Perhaps tell them stories about others you have met through BS to show that you are not the only one.

I'm not sure if I helped but I'll be back. I'm just recovering from my own surgery and am so tired but I just wanted to post an offer my support

Talk soon

Xxx
 
jebrig3164 Thank you very much, all prayers are greatly appreciated.

Jaycey, your so correct… I appreciate your ongoing support over the years. Many don't know me on Bonesmart since I had to delete my last member name and dates.

Mercy1, thank you! If not for my strong faith, I don't see how I could have ever gotten through the difficult times, and I really have to lean on His strength through this now, as I have in the past. It's just so hard sometimes when your feeling so badly.

Vetgirl aka Sally, thank you so much for your kind words & support as well. I know you've had your share of difficult times with the infection and multiple surgeries. Years ago, I discovered that many times when people ask the "How are you" question that they really don't expect an answer or care for an answer. It's so automatic to some to ask that question simply out of habit, not out of sincerely wanting to know. Those type of people are easy to see they don't care, don't want to know, and are simply so into themselves that when they ask "how are you" that before you even say a word they're off onto something about themselves…those I don't even bother answering.. and come back with a sincere I'm hanging in there, how are you, and I listen to their answer. The ones that ask and mean it, then come back with "oh when my mom had her hip replacement she was back to "normal" and doing this and that within a couple weeks after", or they say maybe this time the Doctor(s) will get it right…not understanding in the least bit how complex it all is, and that not all of the problems are due to errors of the surgeons. It's more so what they have to work with that makes it so difficult… (not saying that all the Doctors have done great work) but it doesn't help when they simply want to put down a Doctor. When the one Doctor had to remove broken pieces that had been in there since 2009, I honestly can see how they were missed during previous surgeries, because they never showed up on the x-rays, or even the MRI's. Through all of this I've learned how to read the x-rays myself, and can even pretty much understand the MRI films, and know what I'm looking at, and not once did any of the Doctors or myself ever see those broken pieces, yet people will say some mean things about the previous surgeries/doctors. Putting others down doesn't help the here and now, or what I've been through, and now going through.

My OS where I live has been an unbelievable help to me, he understands what I've been through physically and emotionally, most of his staff know as well. Of course there's one that is so fake and pretends that she understands and she is a prime example of the type that will ask "how are you" and could careless to really know. She's one of those that I don't even bother saying how I am when she ask because she is so zoned out of the moment that I could say well my half hippo & half cat died and she would say "Oh I'm sorry to hear" because she simply doesn't care about others at all, have to say she puts on a great act though…lol!

This journey has indeed lead me into another path in my life, and it's amazing that it has turned out the way it has even through such a difficult few years. I'm really just focussing on the now and healing.
 
@Tropic Lady/Special Lady Just caught up with this thread and was sad to read how much you are going through. I hope your healing progresses smoothly. I have posted on BS about this before-I found the Belleruth Naperstek Meditation CDs, especially her CDs on Pain and Healing, enormously helpful. Here is the link: https://belleruthnaparstek.com/

Before surgery I was a wreck, and a friend suggested the presurgery meditation and guided imagery CDs from Naparstek and also Peggy Huddleston. I thought they were hocus pocus, but I was so anxious and in pain. I tried them and it was amazing. By the time I had the surgery I was relaxed and able to deal with it all.I used the Pain CD afterwards, and it was also useful.

Best wishes,
Lenora
 
@Tropic Lady/Special Lady

I know what you mean about others asking "How are you?" Truly, it takes pain to KNOW pain! You can't file a restraining order to keep pain off of your property, but you CAN determine who is going to stand beside you to fight him!

Two wonderful facets of your personality are easily seen: empathy (because of what you have endured) and discernment !

Keep praising God. . .Some of His best miracles occur when we are focused on HIS power (and not our own)!

Love 2 and prayers 4 you!



Mercy1
LTHR 5May14
 
@LeeApril26

LeeApril26 said:
@Tropic Lady/Special Lady Just caught up with this thread and was sad to read how much you are going through. I hope your healing progresses smoothly. I have posted on BS about this before-I found the Belleruth Naperstek Meditation CDs, especially her CDs on Pain and Healing, enormously helpful. Here is the link: https://belleruthnaparstek.com/
Click to expand...
https://belleruthnaparstek.com/

@LeeApril26 …Not sure why the tag isn't blue, hope you see this Lenora. Thank you for the link and suggestion, I positively don't feel that meditation, sound therapy, relaxation response, and prayer are hocus-pocus. I've actually studied sound therapy and meditation, both help calm and gives us a peaceful feeling, which in return enhances the healing process not only physically, but emotionally as well. For whatever reason this time around I've had a hard time getting back to meditation, and sound therapy, maybe because my hip looks so badly, and how it feels is taking away from my knowing, and getting myself in that state of mind that I'm ready to take this on whole heartily. I haven't heard of Belleruth Naperstek, but I'll certainly check it out. Its so difficult to put into words how I feel, I guess, it's like I've been let down after holding so much hope after each surgery, then only to find myself back under the knife again, and again. I know, I can't lose hope, to think positive, be positive, and even act positive even when I'm not feeling so positive is powerful and helps so much, and using all of the above in addition to traditional medicine & treatment helps our state of mind…. just as much as our physical healing. I believe I deal with the physical pain fairly well, it's feeling so down about all of it emotionally that I need to work on, and I am in need of a great amount of support. Today I insisted on going out on our boat to get some much needed vitamin sea, fresh air, and that peaceful feeling you get when your 10 miles off shore that brings peace and stillness, that's my form of aqua therapy…:) for now anyway. I still can't go in the ocean or pool because there's still itty bitty scabs from where the staples were removed two days ago. I think in about another week or two I should be allowed to and my Doctor will be alright with it then.

My personality lately hasn't been too patient, because I want to get back to my life. I'm working on the patience we all need, yet again it's real difficult because after each surgery I've put so much into allowing all to heal, having patience….then it fails.

Sincere thanks to you for sharing your knowledge, and experience. It means the world to me while going through this and healing from the trauma of this last surgery.

Kim
 
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@Mercy1 … I'd love to talk to you more about faith, and how our strength is built in ways we sometimes don't understand, because I often ask the question, why? If it is alright to send you a private message, let me know. I understand if you prefer to discuss it on the public forum.

I need help, support, and prayers, because I am human, not super woman. Peace & Love to you, Kim
 
@Tropic Lady/Special Lady I'm so glad that you were able to get out on the water. I, too, derive lots of calm and relaxation from the ocean. Maybe it's the sun and the ozone-but it does help. I'm amazed that you are feeling well enough to get off and on the boat!
I have always been a pragmatic, problem-solving sort of person, and never really thought about trying mindfulness, or meditation but since using the techniques I am really impressed and relieved. Hope you can relax into it, because I think you're right that our mental state impacts healing. Given what you've been through, it may take a while. Please cherish yourself while you heal.
Lenora
 
@Tropic Lady/Special Lady ... I'm very sorry to read what you have been going through, especially after all you've had to endure and all the surgeries already. I remember you from my early recovery days and you were very kind. I have not tried those tapes that LeeApril26 has suggested, but I have read many positive reactions here from others about them, so they sound worth looking into. I'm sorry as well that you have to put up with the counterproductive comments and questions from other people. If these people were to read your descriptions on Bonesmart of the surgeries and things that have failed, they surely would think twice before making mindless comments about Aunt so and so's miraculous recovery. I'm glad you were able to get some solace from being out on the water and I hope you continue to have more and more times like that. As you well know, the recovery process even for just one routine surgery can be a carousel ride. Much more so in your case. Please take care and let us know how you are doing.
 
@Peaches …I remember you from a long while ago. Thank you for your well wishes, and for asking. I think I'll be 5 weeks this week, I haven't really been counting. I think because it all happened so fast, it's been different this time around. I have a build up of fluid which needs to be drained, but it's nothing serious I'm sure. I've been getting out but keeping a balance of rest, and getting out here and there.

@LeeApril26 …Getting on and off the boat can be difficult, but it's a floating dock so I can step right onto the boat from the dock as it rises with the tide and goes down with the tide. My husband also helps me on and off, so although it's a little difficult it's very much worth the relaxation, and enjoying some Vitamin sea… and soak up some Vitamin D. Now that my incision is completely closed up, the salt water also helps sooth the muscles. tendon's and ligaments, probably just as much healing physically as it is emotionally too…:flwrysmile:
 
@Tropic Lady/Special Lady, I'm new to this forum and don't know much about your health challenges, but I know that God has a purpose for all that happens in our lives and He takes those opportunities to teach us about deepening our faith and trust in Him. As much as we love this life, this world is not our home. Prayers.

JB


Sent from my iPhone using BoneSmart Forum
 
@beachgal …Thank you for your post, I agree with everything you said…I have deep rooted faith, and trust with all my heart that although this isn't easy that it will get easier. :)
 
@Tropic Lady/Special Lady
I hope this time around does the trick with health for you.
Good to hear about your being able to go boating. I haven't yet tried to go down to our boat dock as we have
about ten flights of stairs down our hill to get there and then the boat is on a fixed pier which will make it a
big challenge to step over the side into it. I do look forward to that.
Glad you can relax on your boat now.
 
Hello @Tropic Lady/Special Lady. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I am sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. I do know how frustrating it can be when you hear about how so and so "breezed" through their recovery. What I have learned from the wonderful folks here is that we all are different and have different circumstances. At 18 months I feel that I am still recovering. Know that this forum is the best place on earth to get the help and support you will need to get through this. Take care.
 
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