PKR JusticeRider’s rehab adventure
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Thanks Jockette! Lots to be thankful for! Now, I hate to do it, but I did promise the good and the bad…
So here’s the BAD: I’ve truly managed to accept that this will be a much longer process than I originally thought, but the thoughtless comments from people still hurt. Not meeting others’ expectations can make me feel like a failure. I fight it, but it niggles. Also, I know everything is going to be ok and I’m making great progress, but there is always the nagging fear that where I’m at now is as good as it will ever get. Or I’ll have another big setback. Or worse…there will turn out to be a problem and I will need more surgery. The mental game is challenging.
I still think about my knee almost all the time. I have to ‘organize’ myself for a second when I stand up and start to walk. I have to plan my sit downs and stand ups so I don’t tweak my knee. I still have to think about every stride and concentrate on walking normally. Walking is vastly improving, but it still doesn’t feel natural, it feels like an effort. I can’t walk too fast or I will get a bit of pain. Going down a slope doesn’t feel good. Going down stairs is still a one foot at a time process. If I don’t elevate it enough, it will swell. If I don’t take an anti inflammatory it will swell. I don’t have a normal amount of flexion so I have to accommodate that while doing things throughout the day. I still need a pillow between my legs at night.
I’m limited in my life on the farm. Walking across 4 acres of lumpy bumpy pasture grass to fetch an animal is a no go. Trying to muck the stalls aggravates my knee. It’s not safe for my knee to carry heavy things like bags of feed, bales of hay, etc. If a 1,000 lb animal suddenly jumps or kicks, I’m not sure I could jump out of the way without doing damage. So I’m not really safe around the herd when they are all out and loose together. I’m also at some risk leading an animal as I could be pulled or pushed and not be able to correct course.
I am not quite ready to try riding with the saddle yet. Truth be told, I’m a little scared to try posting the trot with the memory of my pre surgery attempts still a little too fresh in my mind. I wanted to be able to do it so badly, I tried all sorts of things to make it work. Including trying to push through the pain. The pain was absolutely agonizing. I know it will be different now but I’m not quite there yet. I s also still need the mounting block up on the porch to get on and off and really should have someone with me when I ride.
The energy drain is a factor even at 4 months. I try not to plan too many things in a day because I get tired easier than I used to. By dinner time, my knee often is starting to swell and that wears me out and slows me down. I am usually a night owl, but staying out past 10 pm now feels like an ordeal. I’m ready to crash every night like I ran a marathon each day. (Although I really should have said in my GOOD entry, I do sleep very well most nights!)
Driving is getting much better but anything longer than an hour is kind of awful. I have to pick my Dad up from the airport on Thursday which is an hour each way and I am dreading it because my knee is probably not gonna be happy. I NEED to stretch and move and rest and elevate and ice enough each day or pay the price! No leaving my leg in one position for most of the day or there will be consequences. So I can’t just forget about my knee because it still needs plenty of maintenance.
And of course, I’m still not working. Training horses is not possible right now. It may not be for quite some time. I may need to figure out a new direction. I may need to reinvent myself. Not something I planned to do at 45, but when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I’m just not sure what the recipe is yet.
So there it is! The good and the bad. Now I have it in my thread for future reference, and now you all have the full scoop. I went a little long with it, but that is always my tendency. If you made it this far, thanks for sticking with me! Merry Christmas everyone!
So here’s the BAD: I’ve truly managed to accept that this will be a much longer process than I originally thought, but the thoughtless comments from people still hurt. Not meeting others’ expectations can make me feel like a failure. I fight it, but it niggles. Also, I know everything is going to be ok and I’m making great progress, but there is always the nagging fear that where I’m at now is as good as it will ever get. Or I’ll have another big setback. Or worse…there will turn out to be a problem and I will need more surgery. The mental game is challenging.
I still think about my knee almost all the time. I have to ‘organize’ myself for a second when I stand up and start to walk. I have to plan my sit downs and stand ups so I don’t tweak my knee. I still have to think about every stride and concentrate on walking normally. Walking is vastly improving, but it still doesn’t feel natural, it feels like an effort. I can’t walk too fast or I will get a bit of pain. Going down a slope doesn’t feel good. Going down stairs is still a one foot at a time process. If I don’t elevate it enough, it will swell. If I don’t take an anti inflammatory it will swell. I don’t have a normal amount of flexion so I have to accommodate that while doing things throughout the day. I still need a pillow between my legs at night.
I’m limited in my life on the farm. Walking across 4 acres of lumpy bumpy pasture grass to fetch an animal is a no go. Trying to muck the stalls aggravates my knee. It’s not safe for my knee to carry heavy things like bags of feed, bales of hay, etc. If a 1,000 lb animal suddenly jumps or kicks, I’m not sure I could jump out of the way without doing damage. So I’m not really safe around the herd when they are all out and loose together. I’m also at some risk leading an animal as I could be pulled or pushed and not be able to correct course.
I am not quite ready to try riding with the saddle yet. Truth be told, I’m a little scared to try posting the trot with the memory of my pre surgery attempts still a little too fresh in my mind. I wanted to be able to do it so badly, I tried all sorts of things to make it work. Including trying to push through the pain. The pain was absolutely agonizing. I know it will be different now but I’m not quite there yet. I s also still need the mounting block up on the porch to get on and off and really should have someone with me when I ride.
The energy drain is a factor even at 4 months. I try not to plan too many things in a day because I get tired easier than I used to. By dinner time, my knee often is starting to swell and that wears me out and slows me down. I am usually a night owl, but staying out past 10 pm now feels like an ordeal. I’m ready to crash every night like I ran a marathon each day. (Although I really should have said in my GOOD entry, I do sleep very well most nights!)
Driving is getting much better but anything longer than an hour is kind of awful. I have to pick my Dad up from the airport on Thursday which is an hour each way and I am dreading it because my knee is probably not gonna be happy. I NEED to stretch and move and rest and elevate and ice enough each day or pay the price! No leaving my leg in one position for most of the day or there will be consequences. So I can’t just forget about my knee because it still needs plenty of maintenance.
And of course, I’m still not working. Training horses is not possible right now. It may not be for quite some time. I may need to figure out a new direction. I may need to reinvent myself. Not something I planned to do at 45, but when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I’m just not sure what the recipe is yet.
So there it is! The good and the bad. Now I have it in my thread for future reference, and now you all have the full scoop. I went a little long with it, but that is always my tendency. If you made it this far, thanks for sticking with me! Merry Christmas everyone!
What a thoughtful and informative post. Reading this is certainly going to help those that think they can jump right back in and start doing the things they used to do in only a few months. When we say this surgery takes an average of a year to recover from, it has proven so over and over again.
You are being very smart in your recovery and are benefiting from it. You'll find the correct path that is waiting for you at the right time.
You are being very smart in your recovery and are benefiting from it. You'll find the correct path that is waiting for you at the right time.
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Considering all you've shared, I think you're doing pretty well! I know you've read this many times here, but you still have quite a bit of time left to heal and enjoy progress since you're only four months post op. It takes patience for sure and when you're doing well and ready to jump back into life, it's difficult to feel like you're being held back. You'll get there! I hope you have a nice week and a very Merry Christmas.
@JusticeRider
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I also think you are doing really well. I know you've read and commented on my posts that I seem to be having a faster recovery than you are. Truth be told though, I'm probably not much further along than you. I don't have a farm to contend with - I'm a small business owner and my work is much more sedentary. My Fitbit reminds me when it's time to get up and walk a little bit. I still have many of the same issues that you do. Long car rides are uncomfortable. Fortunately for me, my daughter is of driving age now, so I don't have to run her all over town like I did a year ago. Walking on uneven terrain is still uncomfortable. Just like you described, if I step in a hole that I didn't see coming it jars my knee and isn't a very pleasant experience. Walking down stairs - I can do it with alternating feet IF I have a good grip on handrails on both sides. It isn't so much a flexion thing, but I don't feel like I have enough balance back to be able to do it without holding on for dear life. I did survive a full day at Disneyland without any walking aids, and that was a huge win for me, but at the end of the day I walked about half as many steps as I would have when I was in better shape. So while I'm very pleased with my progress, I still feel like I have a long ways to go. Of course I do, I'm just a little over 2 months into a year long journey.
Things are still frustrating at times. I'm still taking 2 hour lunch breaks so I can go home, put my feet up, and ice. I can get away with that because, well, I'm the boss. If that wasn't the case it would be a definite challenge. I still put the compression socks on if I'm going to be walking or on my feet a lot (and yes, they do help). I still swell after a lot of activity. There are some things that I have given up permanently. I used to referee high school and a little bit of college basketball on the side, but I've accepted that I'll never be able to run like that again.
Keep up the positive attitudes and celebrate the victories as they come. I know you will get there!
Things are still frustrating at times. I'm still taking 2 hour lunch breaks so I can go home, put my feet up, and ice. I can get away with that because, well, I'm the boss. If that wasn't the case it would be a definite challenge. I still put the compression socks on if I'm going to be walking or on my feet a lot (and yes, they do help). I still swell after a lot of activity. There are some things that I have given up permanently. I used to referee high school and a little bit of college basketball on the side, but I've accepted that I'll never be able to run like that again.
Keep up the positive attitudes and celebrate the victories as they come. I know you will get there!
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All of your negatives are just how I felt at your stage of recovery, so you‘re perfectly normal.
Don’t be too quick to reinvent yourself, you’re only 1/3 healed. Where you are now is not where you will end up!
Don’t be too quick to reinvent yourself, you’re only 1/3 healed. Where you are now is not where you will end up!
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Thank you all so much! You know what? I agree! In spite of all the ‘bad’ that I wrote about, at this point I can see that it’s all temporary, and I have so much more to be grateful for. I do think my body responds to surgery by getting pretty riled up and angry for a few months. Now that I’ve had 4 surgeries, I’ve noticed that things are pretty awful the first few months and I struggle and do worse than my Dr and PA and PT and everyone expect me to and everything seems wrong. And then after about 4 months, I turn a corner and suddenly start improving quickly. I think I have hit that curve and am climbing up now!
Guess what happened today? I was able to lower the seat a click on my stationary bike!! It seems like just yesterday I could finally just barely get the pedals all the way around! It’s so cool to see that tangible improvement! It’s really happening! It really is just like BoneSmart says…ROM goes up as the swelling goes down. It just needs TIME. I can’t imagine what my recovery would have been like these 4 months if I hadn’t found BoneSmart.
I couldn't agree with you more! It was a huge blessing to me and that's why I decided to stick around and help others going through these surgeries. Too much emphasis is put on exercise and PT when all the knees need to do is to heal. As that happens the recovery comes naturally, with less pain, swelling and inflammation. ADL, (activities of daily living) is how many of us find this better healing.
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My daughter stores her saddle at my house during the winter. It is heavy! Just getting on and off your horse is amazing! You are doing so well. I hope all is going well with your Xmas company coming. I spent all day yesterday baking and I am hurting today. If I have to be in the car for some time, I bring an ice pack for my knee and adjust it throughout the trip. Getting out of the car is another story. It takes some walking to shake the stiffness out. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas!
Sounds like you're doing great, and congrats on turning another corner! Isn't it amazing how many corners there are in this recovery? They are all little moments of happiness though, letting us know it's getting better even if it's a bit slow.
I love your write-up about how you're doing, it helps all of us to realize we're doing okay. None of our recoveries are exactly the same but I, for one, can recognize myself in many of those moments you described (like organizing yourself before sitting or standing, etc.). As for riding and taking care of the horses, I don't have horses but I used to volunteer at a riding facility until my knees got too bad to do most things. The owner of the facility also had 2 knee surgeries, and she's doing all the things again. Not sure how long it took before she got back on a horse, but I didn't even realize she'd had 2 TKRs until I mentioned I had to get them. So there's hope! You're only at 4 months, you will be trotting and posting in no time. Don't rush it, it will happen sooner than you think.
Edited to add: I totally understand about not trusting the knee because of how it felt before the surgery. But it's a brand new knee made out of titanium, it is completely trustworthy and should not hurt. It took my awhile to finally believe that, but when I did it made my exercises and other activities a lot easier. I just had to trust and take that first step, so to speak, and it got better every time.
I love your write-up about how you're doing, it helps all of us to realize we're doing okay. None of our recoveries are exactly the same but I, for one, can recognize myself in many of those moments you described (like organizing yourself before sitting or standing, etc.). As for riding and taking care of the horses, I don't have horses but I used to volunteer at a riding facility until my knees got too bad to do most things. The owner of the facility also had 2 knee surgeries, and she's doing all the things again. Not sure how long it took before she got back on a horse, but I didn't even realize she'd had 2 TKRs until I mentioned I had to get them. So there's hope! You're only at 4 months, you will be trotting and posting in no time. Don't rush it, it will happen sooner than you think.
Edited to add: I totally understand about not trusting the knee because of how it felt before the surgery. But it's a brand new knee made out of titanium, it is completely trustworthy and should not hurt. It took my awhile to finally believe that, but when I did it made my exercises and other activities a lot easier. I just had to trust and take that first step, so to speak, and it got better every time.
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@Flashlight and @thneed so good to hear from you both! I love the horse-y connections! Flashlight, I did the all day baking thing last weekend and I was sure feeling it the next day too! I hope you’re feeling better! I was all good after some TLC and it was totally worth the 14 dozen delicious spritz cookies we baked! What kind of goodies were you baking?
Thneed, you are so right about trusting my new knee. The memory of that pain is still there but that thing that caused the pain is gone! My body is so used to guarding and protecting and compensating and I am still expecting that awful sharp pain subconsciously sometimes I think. I am slowly learning to trust the new ‘equipment’.
I love hearing how y’all are doing and I so appreciate the encouragement! Merry Christmas to all and your new knees!
Thneed, you are so right about trusting my new knee. The memory of that pain is still there but that thing that caused the pain is gone! My body is so used to guarding and protecting and compensating and I am still expecting that awful sharp pain subconsciously sometimes I think. I am slowly learning to trust the new ‘equipment’.
I love hearing how y’all are doing and I so appreciate the encouragement! Merry Christmas to all and your new knees!
Another good sign of proguess is that we recover faster to an overdid it thing. And yes, especially at this point in recovery, it can be worth the overdo. Enjoy those cookies!
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@Jockette you are so right! That is one very encouraging sign. For quite some time, doing anything the knee didn’t like would result in terrible swelling and could set me back days or even weeks. Now it seems it will swell a bit but with some gentle movement, stretching, elevating, some extra Ibuprofen, and icing, it will settle back down fairly quickly.
I had to pick my dad up at the airport yesterday which was an hour each way, and we stopped at a restaurant for breakfast on the way home, so my leg was down for quite a while. The knee was not very happy with me. It bothered me yesterday afternoon/evening and was tight this am, but it seems to have worked through it now and is feeling much better.
Unfortunately, I can’t take my daily walk today because we had a terrible ice storm and it is like a skating rink out there! I’ve watched the few brave souls out walking their dogs go slipping and sliding by. Yikes! I have been braving the snow we got with my trail shoes and trekking poles the last few days but this ice everywhere is a deal breaker. I had to go out to thaw the chickens’ water this morning and wore my micro spikes and used my poles but it was treacherous for sure!
How is everyone who’s affected dealing with the frozen weather right now? I hope you are all staying safe and you have a beautiful Christmas!
I had to pick my dad up at the airport yesterday which was an hour each way, and we stopped at a restaurant for breakfast on the way home, so my leg was down for quite a while. The knee was not very happy with me. It bothered me yesterday afternoon/evening and was tight this am, but it seems to have worked through it now and is feeling much better.
Unfortunately, I can’t take my daily walk today because we had a terrible ice storm and it is like a skating rink out there! I’ve watched the few brave souls out walking their dogs go slipping and sliding by. Yikes! I have been braving the snow we got with my trail shoes and trekking poles the last few days but this ice everywhere is a deal breaker. I had to go out to thaw the chickens’ water this morning and wore my micro spikes and used my poles but it was treacherous for sure!
How is everyone who’s affected dealing with the frozen weather right now? I hope you are all staying safe and you have a beautiful Christmas!
My partial will be 6 years old, in March, and it got really cold riding in the car the other day. My jacket was on the seat next to me, so I put it over my lap to cover my knee, and my knee was happier. One wouldn't think the titanium would get that cold, buried inside a body, and riding in a car with the heat on! Even the freezer section of a grocery store bothers it! My knee is such a drama Queen! 
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Reading through BoneSmart every day, I keep seeing people say that every knee is different and that how your recovery goes partly depends on how much damage, inflammation, etc your knee had before. I feel a lot of compassion and patience for my poor knee now that I think about it. It was a mess before my surgery…bone on bone, major cartilage damage and full of edema. I had favored it for over 20 years and the last two years was limping around in a lot of pain and extremely limited after an injury in 2020. My bend before surgery was probably about 65 degrees, mostly due to horrible sharp pain if I bent beyond that. In addition, it had endured a hip surgery a year before which had exacerbated everything. It has a lot to overcome, and I am so grateful to it for trying so hard! In some ways it’s still not better than before surgery, but in a lot of ways, it’s way, way better. Good job, little knee! It’s an uphill battle, but we’ll make it.
I love this! What a wonderful way to look at this recovery and love your knee for doing the best it can do at this time in its recovery!
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Thanks, Sistersinhim! I don’t know why I didn’t think about that sooner. My flexion is still pretty limited by many standards, but it is so much better than it was before my surgery. I wish the surgeons, PA’s, etc would consider that before putting all that pressure on their patients. And thinking about this will help me not fall back into comparing myself with others who are further along.
This is a huge accomplishment right there! All those muscles and tendons had gotten used to the decreased bend and had to stretch more than they had been used to in a while.
Oh man, you have no idea how many people had said this exact thing. I was so blessed to have an OS and PA that just let me be. They just wanted to see what I could do. No numbers or PT was ever mentioned. I pretty much told my doctor that I'd not go to PT, and that I knew what to do. He was fine with that and with my results.
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Got new shoes yesterday to celebrate walking better! I know it’s been mentioned that your old shoes can have wear patterns from your old way of walking (limping) before surgery. I was walking 3-4 miles each day with a messed up knee, so I imagine my old walking shoes have some pretty unhealthy wear patterns! Found some great shoes that are so comfortable and fit like a glove. I walked in them today for 1.75 miles (my longest post-surgery so far) and everything felt good! I was even on an unpaved trail for part of the walk. Let’s hope everything still feels good tomorrow!! 
Doing 20 minutes on the bike each day and averaging 6,000 steps a day (although today with my longer walk I have 7,000!) so things are slowly but surely progressing!
Hey, anybody have any thoughts/experience with Tai Chi after knee replacement surgery? Our local senior center 2 blocks away offers a free tai chi class that’s open to the public (even if you’re not a senior!) and I was thinking about trying it. Any words of advice?
Doing 20 minutes on the bike each day and averaging 6,000 steps a day (although today with my longer walk I have 7,000!) so things are slowly but surely progressing!
Hey, anybody have any thoughts/experience with Tai Chi after knee replacement surgery? Our local senior center 2 blocks away offers a free tai chi class that’s open to the public (even if you’re not a senior!) and I was thinking about trying it. Any words of advice?
