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@Josephine
a. I have been depressed or anxious before, but usually In circumstances which would warrant those feelings.
b. I do not live alone.
c. There have been people who have been helpful and kind. Now they see that I seem back to normal physically and do not understand why I can't snap out of this.

Crying now. I will answer more later, OK?
 
Fighting Fear said:
Now they see that I seem back to normal physically and do not understand why I can't snap out of this.
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This is particularly unhelpful. Unfortunately I experienced some of this as well. And it is worse if someone close to you does not understand. Seems if you are not a person who stays in a bathrobe all day you are cured! You can't "snap out" of major surgery.

Is there a friend or relative you can talk to about your anxiety? You may have a bit of post traumatic stress from the surgery. It does take some people by surprise. Your family doctor might also be someone to talk this through.

We are here for you @Fighting Fear ! :console2:
 
I have a lot of down days also. It's a big change going through this surgery. That's why we're all on here, to help each other. Others think you had the surgery, get on with your life. It's a big change, and all that recuperating time gives us time to reflect on our lives, not just our hips. I don't know you're situation, but for me I'm thinking I'll get my hips done and get on with my life. It's a long process and not a cure for everything wrong in our lives. I am so glad I had both hips replaced, but realize it's still a long road with healing, etc. I think many of us realize we are going to have a normal life again and while it's great and exciting, it can be a little overwhelming at times. I hope you are having more positive days.
 
What is really sad, doctors seem to think the cure is a pill. I talked with my gp, told her that I take a quarter zanax when needed which helps some if I take more then I don't feel like doing anything, zombie. Her suggestion was to take a whole, did you not hear what I just said!!!!! She acted as though she had no idea what I meant. I worried I might get to the point where I never wanted to leave my house anyway, don't need a drug that helps in that feeling. I plug along, making myself leave the house and do things hoping it will dissipate soon. You are right, others have no idea, especially those who had the same thing done but never went through this.
 
I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time with your depression and anxiety. It makes it so much harder to cope when you have family and friends who don't understand why you can't just suck it up or simply snap out of it. I would suggest that when you go to your GP this week, have a close family member go with you into the examining room and hear the discussion with your doctor. Sometimes this helps them understand what you are going through a little bit more. My husband is always with me at DR visits and I am always with him, for his. It can be an eye opener in most cases. Also, I'm curious...at your age, I'm wondering if part of the problem may be hormonal. I wish all the luck with getting a handle on your depression and hopefully your DR can offer suggestions for dealing with the lack of family support.
:flwrysmile:
 
((( @Fighting Fear ))) I'm so sorry you're going through this, Hon. Depression and anxiety are a bear to deal with, especially on top of recovering from major surgery.
I agree with everybody who is shaking their head over the 'just snap out of it' sentiment expressed by people who have no true idea what you are going through.
I think Nana has a very valid theory about this possibly being partially hormonal. I'm in that special time of life myself and my emotions were on a roller coaster even before surgery.
Post surgery, some days are just fine and others are not. I'll get the blues with no warning and with no 'cause' that I can discern. I'm also much more emotional post surgery. Some days I will cry at the drop of a hat and sometimes for no other reason than I'm watching something on television that touches my heart.
Please know that you are not alone. We're here to listen.
:console2:
 
@Fighting Fear, sorry to hear you are dealing with some depression. I am experiencing some of it myself and from what I have read, it comes with the territory for this surgery. It also doesn't help that our "normal" lives are put on hold during the recovery process. I hope your doctor can offer some practical suggestions for coping with this when you go to visit him this week. Hang in there and please keep posting. (((hugs)))
 
@fightingfear I feel for you - not easy - understatement. I have posted a few posts with tears streaming. My thoughts are - get anyone that thinks you are recovered to look at the hip surgery on youtube. I also think that although not talked about a lot some of us feel that our bodies have been totally violated. There is a gap in our lives followed by a very nasty scar and bruising. We know rationally what has happened but some how to me it was a gap that I could not understand. Post traumatic stress rings true to me. An other thought is when you are depressed, the op makes you sit around and be less active which logically does not help the depression.

Your doctor made me laugh take a whole Xanax because the books say so!! In medicine it seems that the books tell you what a tablet does. There is no allowance for the fact that your body, your metabolism is different and responds differently. I do believe from my own experience that some of us are genetically different and therefore react differently - you have found what works for you so respect that.
Do look after yourself and give your self lots of tender loving care You deserve it.
 
I had PTSD long before my surgery, and have had some depression since my surgery on Oct. 5 of this year. Hip surgery is traumatic, painful, and it can take a year to heal. I'm glad you are going to talk with your doctor about your depression and I'm also glad you're participating in this forum. Whatever is going on, you can't just get over it, you do need help and support, and you do need to be able to grieve over what you've lost. the good news? You CAN make it back into the world, you WILL be able to live in it, and your physical pain from the surgery WILL heal. Just hang in there and keep talking with us.
 
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When I got down my husband would say "Let's keep things in perspective. You have had major surgery and it is going to take time to heal. " That would get me back on track to the enormity of what I had gone through. I really do not know how elderly people - say 75 + who are not in good shape, not strong, not very active- manage to get through this life changing surgery. I was very strong at 68 and I still found it very hard so keep your chin up and think about all of the positive things in your life. You are alive! Count your blessings every day -even the smallest ones like a beautiful sunset or sunrise, like a pretty bird nearby, like getting your socks on, like getting out of a chair unaided, like enjoying a fine meal that someone else made, like not having to clean or cook for awhile. My husband gave me baked potatoes every day for a month. :yikes:It does get better but patience is needed. It takes time and more time but you will get there. AND a little bit of medication helps too.
 
Whoops! Missed reading a few posts and I agree that it could be hormonal or as my mom used to say "the change." I was not depressed until much later after the op and I still have my down days at 7 months post op but it is getting better as I feel more back to my old self. You will get better! Ask for help.
Best wishes!
 
just checking in to see how you are doing.. :flwrysmile:
 
Thank you for all of the kind words. I am seeing my doctor tomorrow to ask about the fatigue, anxiety, fear, panic, insomnia, depression and inability to think. I know that I have to have help with this and I really appreciate everything you are sharing. Just getting to tomorrow. I did ask a friend to drive me to the dr so if I break down there will be someone there to help me. Thank you, all of you, I am trying really hard to make it.
 
I'm glad you have a friend to drive you to your doctor and to be with you! I'm sure your doctor will have many questions to ask, but will also have some answers for you. Bravo for taking this step, it takes much bravery to ask for help. I will be thinking about you and will be waiting to hear about the visit. Keep fighting that fear and take one day at a time, even one step at a time. I'm cheering for you!! :yay: :yay: :yay:
 
Hi @Fighting Fear
I am so happy to hear you have an appt to see your DR and that you have a friend to take you. I hope you will allow her to be in the room, with you, while talking to the DR. That way, you will at least have someone who will understand what you are going through and can possibly let your family know it is something to take seriously, instead of just sloughing it off. Hopefully, after your appt, you'll be able to get the emotional support you so desperately need. My thoughts, prayers and best wishes for you, my dear.
 
Thank you again for encouraging me. My dr visit went well, I think. She started me immediately on Cymbalta. She confirmed what many of you have wisely said, that this surgery is very hard on the body and on our chemical balance. She ordered blood work to be sure I am not anemic or have infection. She could see that I am not doing well and I did cry when she was kind. Thank you for caring about me. I am really trying.
 
Ground control to Major Tom fighting fear I to was really depressed when I had my major set back but you have to hang in there, everyone heals differently and I am sure things will start to improve. Do keep in touch and keep us updated.

Billy
 
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