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I can do this. Can I do this? What am I doing, exactly?

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Sommers16 said:
How can this be both so REAL and so UNREAL at the same time?

I am working to keep my expectations in check - both positive and negative. I know that somewhere between my craziest fears of the bad what ifs and my wildest expectations of glorious, pain free possibilities there reality will be. I realize afterwards I'm not going to run like a thoroughbred horse. But not standing up and walking like an uncoordinated newborn giraffe sounds good.

I've never been so terrified and excited by anything at the same time my entire life.
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I totally understand what you mean about being 'real' and 'unreal' at the same time. It just hits me every now and then that I'm having both my hips replaced in a matter of weeks!

That is good to keep your expectations in check- I have been too. My sister keeps saying to me 'you'll be running in no time' and I keep saying to her 'I won't be running anywhere, I will be happy to sit without pain'(I have rheumatoid In many other joints and my ankles are quite bad). I know she is just trying to be positive but I'm a realist and I know my body.

I also agree bring terrified and excited at the same time- I will be 5 days after you, on 1st June and I'm ready to get it all over with!


Candice, 29 yo. Rheumatoid Arthritis. Australia. Sequential unilateral THR June 1st 2016 and July 13th 2016 :)
 
Gotta post this in my pre-op thread because I'm sure I will return at some point and re-read thoughts of my journey.

I am in so much pain. P-A-I-N. Pain.

I help take care of my father and do his weekly grocery shopping. Normally it isn't a huge issue. I manage.

Tonight, it was an issue, though. I think owing to have been more physically active lately because of pre-surgery preparations (still can't get the toilet riser or shower bench either one just right), plus not being able to take any Ibuprofen or glucosamine chondritin, my hip has become inflamed and angry.

I hurt in my knee and in the ball of my hip-I keep rubbing the bone through my fanny cheek. It is God-have-mercy-on-me-I-hear-you-that-this-surgery-is-a-necessity-awful-arthritis. Bone on bone agony.

When I got to my Dad's and was putting food away, I went from my usual limping to hobbling to literally hopping on one leg, unable to put any weight on my arthritic hip. Picture me stretching to pull bags off the counter so as not to move, and then holding on to the stove and hopping on one leg to carry the bags to the refrigerator. It would be funny if not such misery.

I managed to hide it from my Dad who was watching TV in another room. He is an emotional person too (I get it honestly) and it would have bothered him.

True confession: Dad doesn't know about my surgery Tuesday. He knows I have a challenged hip, he knows I struggle from time to time and he sees me limping. But he doesn't know about the surgery. Why? Because when I tested the waters on the subject and mentioned that THR may be in my future, he said things from fear and honest ignorance that aren't helpful, such as, "I hope not. That's terrible. You're too young. That's an ordeal! Let me tell you about Mr. So and So..."

Dad being stressed, fearful and unhappy means I inherit that, and I just can't. Also, Dad has health issues and doesn't need to be hanging out in a germy hospital trying to walk those long distances.

He will be mad and hurt hearing of it after the fact, but I will explain my reasoning and deal with it then.

I don't know if anyone else has ever had to navigate the surgery and/or recovery process in a similar selective way, but I suspect so.

I made it home safely and have been lying down trying to get comfortable. Of course I am concerned about surgery Tuesday. But that pain- oh what debilitating misery. I sobbed all the way home, but I know this is the right decision to have THR and I feel some peace and final closure in that. This was one of my worst episodes and hopefully it is my last. I expect I will feel better in the AM after resting, but I will not forget.

@Jillie422 named her new hip Herman. Mine is going to be Norm. Norm for normal. Norm for the character Norm from the old TV show Cheers who was cheered and welcomed upon arrival.

I'm done with this pre-op pain. I may still be scared of what lies ahead, but I have got to take a leap of faith and do something.
 
I'm so glad you don't have long to wait, @Sommers16.

I recognise everything in your post - even trying to hide the pain from a parent. My mum knows about the THRs but hasn't really processed it. She visits to "help me out" but then ends up breaking down because she feels she should be doing more and I end up comforting and looking after her.

Norm is a great name for your hip. I am imaging it talking back to you in the voice of Norm from Cheers - just watch out it doesn't start demanding too much beer!

Hang in there - not long to go.
 
@Sommers16 I went back through my entire pre-op thread the night before my surgery. It was galvanizing to read the support again and see how raw my journey was. I think that was also why I tried to post and engage others as soon after surgery as I could.
 
@Chihuahuan - I see ice in my very near future. I'm glad yours helped. My surgery arrival time is at 5 in the morning, Tuesday, May 17th. That means leaving the house at 4 AM. Hopefully I'm not still awake and trying to go to sleep at 3 AM. Ha Ha
 
Oh @Sommers16 I sure can identify with that day before surgery bone on bone. I absolutely know that I couldn't have made it another week!! And hiding the pain... Had to do that to get Hubby to leave for 8 days to see his Momma before she passed. It's hard not to groan and grimace with each movement! :gaah:

I'm so ready for you to have that first date with Norm!! And hope to hear you immediately say you feel that No OA Greatness! Hang in there, Girl.... The worst is almost over!! Praying for your relief and speedy recovery xoxoxo
 
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Best wishes for tomorrow Somers61! I can so relate to your pain thread, got stranded in Starbuck's yesterday, the hip suddenly gave out and I couldn't move, not even to leave the store. I was stuck! Ended up holding onto a counter waiting for it to calm down, people were glancing over, ugh, I looked like a coffee loiterer :yes:
 
Good luck tomorrow!! Soon you will be doing the happy dance with Norm! That is a super great idea for the name. Hopefully you are going into the "calm before the storm stage" and will have a good, restful night. @Sommers16 --You got this!!
 
Sommers16 said:
Gotta post this in my pre-op thread because I'm sure I will return at some point and re-read thoughts of my journey.

I am in so much pain. P-A-I-N. Pain.

I don't know if anyone else has ever had to navigate the surgery and/or recovery process in a similar selective way, but I suspect so.

I made it home safely and have been lying down trying to get comfortable. Of course I am concerned about surgery Tuesday. But that pain- oh what debilitating misery. I sobbed all the way home, but I know this is the right decision to have THR and I feel some peace and final closure in that. This was one of my worst episodes and hopefully it is my last. I expect I will feel better in the AM after resting, but I will not forget.

I'm done with this pre-op pain. I may still be scared of what lies ahead, but I have got to take a leap of faith and do something.
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I think it is good to write down the hard days to look back and remember how bad it really was. I am doing the same.

I am not in the same situation as you but I understand about your decision not to tell him. If it is going to stress both you and him by telling then that is going to impact on you going into surgery and that could impact on your recovery. Go in with a clear mind and positive outlook and it will help.

Not long now, I have two weeks and am counting down the days too- I can't imagine being pain free but I can't wait! Best of luck to you!


Candice, 29 yo. Rheumatoid Arthritis. Australia. Sequential unilateral THR June 1st 2016 and July 13th 2016 :)
 
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