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Having TKR on 9th of Feb and I’m terrified

@Shanny63 Please don't cancel your surgery. If your surgeon has agreed to do the surgery then I would go for it. Sure you are scared - we were all in that space pre-op. But this knee is not going to get any better and may indeed get a whole lot worse.
Shanny63 said:
yet my husband is organising motorcycle trips for 7 weeks out from me having surgery, when i told him i might not be able to do the trips with him he got angry at me
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Tell you what - have your husband watch a video of the actual surgery (I don't recommend that you do this BTW - no sense in scaring yourself even more). This is major surgery - not just getting your toenails clipped. And you are absolutely right - you won't be riding anything at 7 weeks out. What if you fell on that new knee? Why risk ruining some excellent surgery pushing yourself. Please tell that hubby of yours he hasn't a clue!
 
Hi @Shanny63

I know how you feel. Mine is in three weeks. I’m scared too. But I need to do this. Now. It’s making my life miserable. I also carry some extra weight. But the truth is, I’ve been carrying it for a while and to loose it with this painful knee, I might as well lock myself in a room and stop eating. In other words, not going to happen.

I have some IT band issues too. And super flat feet. I started wearing an insert in my shoe that has helped along with the stretches.

Your docs are not giving you **** about your weight? Then it‘s time. The research suggests a good outcome despite weight.

I‘m sorry about your support system. Sometimes spouses are scared and it makes them less than helpful. Denial is pretty strong. Another reason why you need to do what‘s best for you.

I‘m not a biker, but I doubt you‘ll be able to bike in 7 weeks with a new knee. Without it, you‘ll be in too much pain to enjoy biking. As @Irish Joe said.....let your husband plan and you do what’s best for you. You have lots of virtual support here!

All the best. Lots of deep breaths and good wishes.
 
Shanny63 said:
’m in so much pain and i dont have a good leg so to speak my left leg is as bad as my right if not worse at times, please any advice
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Don't quit now, if you need it, have it. I was the Biggest Girls Blouse on the planet, yet it worked just as well for me as for a brave person. If you need the second done as well, work with your Dr to schedule it as soon as possible (my opinion only, not a medical view) because that's when real recovery begins.
Shanny63 said:
, i dont have much support here at home and everyone is just pushing me to do it, yet my husband is organising motorcycle trips for 7 weeks out from me having surgery
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Message for him.

Dear Mr Shanny63, We don't get many chances to pay back what our wives have done for us now do we? This is it. Grab it. Your wife will need 100% of your support for the next 3 months. Not 99%, not 2 months. While she's sitting watching TV and not doing much -- that's what you want, she'll get better quicker.
 
Well, you only have less than a week to go now, so grit your teeth and read what I have to tell you
Shanny63 said:
I just keep thinking of the worst case scenarios. I’m afraid of stupid things like blood clots, heart attacks, strokes.
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First these are not 'stupid' things and no-one in their right mind would pass them off as such. BUT - and it's a big but - those three things are all related to the circulation and one thing they do when you have a joint replacement, is to put you on blood thinners to prevent such things. And if you have artrial fibrillation then it's likely you are on these anyway - medical term anticoagulants - so would be protected.
Shanny63 said:
My orthopaedic surgeon won't do bilateral knee replacements because I have paroxysmal atrial fibrillation (a heart condition) and he wants to do the surgery with a spinal anaesthetic instead of a general which means only one knee at a time.
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Well, the truth is that world wide there is a policy that spinal anaesthetics are much, much safer than a general as is having one knee done at a time.

And another thing: there are millions of people worldwide who have had knee replacements and only a very, very few have had things like that. It's actually pretty uncommon.

Was there anything else that is high on your 'panic' list?
 
Shanny63 - I can 100% relate!!!! I'm 3 days out, 43yo and I'm having panic attacks - taking my anxiety out on my husband and 10yo son. I've had several surgeries, all under general anesthesia. So a spinal is new to me and I'm terrified even though I'm never scared about general. I'm so afraid I'll jump and get paralyzed - don't laugh - but I'm thinking worse case scenario lately. My Grandpa passed away after his TKR 25+ years ago. This is in the back of my mind. But I also know back then, they didn't have the same protocols as now regarding blood clots, etc. That's not to scare you - It's much, much safer now - but I'm relating to you with the fear. I want to cancel so bad BUT I want to be active with my son, he's only young once and I feel like he's missing out on his Mom and vice versa. I miss hiking, fishing, biking, WALKING, exercising...I want my life back as I know you do to! So we will be walking this journey together. Praying for you
 
We can do this and we'll see each other on the "other side" talking about how happy we are with our new knee and being pain free!
 
Shanney63, you are NOT alone. I was really terrified as well. My first TKR was 4 yrs ago, went OK, but it seemed to take longer than I would have liked to heal. I have been soooo happy with it now! My second knee was done almost three weeks ago. I had a great deal of trepidation, everything about it scared me because I injured it six months previously and just did not think I could do another surgery. Everyone kept telling me to do it and I wanted to scream! But I found the courage to do it and am now happy I did, even at this early stage! You will always have support here. Keep us posted, you've got this. Think of it as a transition into a better life!
 
mcestang said:
Shanny63 - I can 100% relate!!!! I'm 3 days out, 43yo and I'm having panic attacks - taking my anxiety out on my husband and 10yo son. I've had several surgeries, all under general anesthesia. So a spinal is new to me and I'm terrified even though I'm never scared about general. I'm so afraid I'll jump and get paralyzed - don't laugh - but I'm thinking worse case scenario lately. My Grandpa passed away after his TKR 25+ years ago. This is in the back of my mind. But I also know back then, they didn't have the same protocols as now regarding blood clots, etc. That's not to scare you - It's much, much safer now - but I'm relating to you with the fear. I want to cancel so bad BUT I want to be active with my son, he's only young once and I feel like he's missing out on his Mom and vice versa. I miss hiking, fishing, biking, WALKING, exercising...I want my life back as I know you do to! So we will be walking this journey together. Praying for you
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mcestang....same message to you that I wrote to Shanny! You will both be in my prayers. I have been exactly where you are, soon you will be writing on the recovery side!
 
Thank you everyone for your supportive comments, i saw my psychologist this morning and he did a meditation recording for me to listen to twice a day, i told him i was going to cancel...he said its my anxiety that is fueling this and i just have to do it, i also spoke to a friend of mine who has had one knee done and he is so excited to be getting his second knee done next month, he said sure some days were hard at the start but it is so worth it to have his life back, hes planning a trip next year overseas and he said he cant wait to be able to keep up with his wife instead of falling behind or sitting down waiting for her to finish seeing the sites, i wont be going on the bike trip i told my husband that, he still thinks i will be able to go, too bad i wont...again thank you for all your support, not long now and it will be friday, just have to keep busy and i will be there..
 
Hello Shanny
Sounds like you got a good strategy from your psychologist. Do keep that up.
Also, many on bonesmart do this living alone and that is inspirational. So what I’m suggesting is that even with your husband in tow you can do this too. He may require more direct requests from you and humph around a bit but do it anyway. Also if he goes by himself when you are 7 weeks post op you may like the vacation of alone time Build and rely on other resources. Friends, church members, the board here, the grocery delivery peeps. You can do this.
The nurses, surgeons, and anaesthetists are all caring, highly skilled and qualified humans. They have wives, mothers, and daughters like you and They will do all that is humanly possible to get you through this.

I am 9 weeks post op today. One of the things that made me happiest was no general anaesthetic to recover from.

Many of us are overweight it is just part of the sedentary life. Imagine how good
Being more active is going to be. today I walked foot over foot upstairs.
Good luck and stay in touch here
Kathryn
 
Hey Shanny63, just sayin' thinking of you. Only a few more days till NEW KNEE. YAY! Glad you got the meditation recording; that sounds very helpful. All the best, Yvonne, still waiting to hear from the surgery scheduler about what's my date.
 
I'm just a four days out from my bilateral TKR with spinal and I'm, so far, glad I have had this done. The horrible bone on bone pain is gone, never to return. I'm having a good recovery and the pain management has been excellent. The worst issue I have is standing up from a chair that is too low. Can't wait until that goes away. I have my first in home health nurse and PT coming tomorrow so I'm hoping we can work on that issue. I'm sleeping much better than before I had surgery. I'd forgotten how wonderful sleep could be. I am overweight also

I've read so many stories on BS about nonsupporting spouses that it just confirms my satisfaction at being single!!!
To each their own I guess.

Have a wonderful uneventful surgery and recovery. You are going to be MAGNIFICENT !!
 
Practicing my meditation and relaxation too! And wishing you all the best!
 
Hi, Of course you are scared, that's a natural reaction. You must turn around your thinking. Your pain is not going away, without this surgery. Try to focus on the months ahead, instead of the days. Once you get this first knee done, you are on the road to a better quality of life. As you are right now, with two painful knees, you are simply just in pain, period. Feeling better is just days away for you, that is so exciting. I was literally dragging my right knee along as it was seriously deformed. Now, I look down and proclaim, look my knee is straight again. I also did not have a lot if support at home, but I got through it. You can as well.
Be patient, listen to your body. I have now come to realize that this recovery does not happen overnight. I am 12 weeks post op and am just truly beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Please please do try to keep your surgery scheduled and give yourself the gift of a better quality of life n the future.
Good luck, you can do this!!!!!
 
Ps.. hubby should go to orientation. Mine went with me and saw that this surgery is a big deal...he actually got nauseous during the presentation and had to leave the room for a bit. He knew it was a big deal for me, but once I got home I think he thought recovery would be quicker. My biggest take away from orientation..get the raised toilet, it was a life saver for me.
 
Double yes to the raised toilet seat. Plus, don't let the nurses get behind on your pain meds. Tell them to wake you up if they need to to stay on top of the pain. Also, trust your new knee. It is so much stronger that you think it might be.
 
Hang in there, @Shanny63! You are stronger than you think, and you will be so happy when you get back all those parts of your life you maybe didn't even know you'd put away. I just spent a few days with my son and his family, who were here for a funeral, and I danced with my 3 year old grandson. It was so fun! Last year, I could not have done it. Literally could not have. I think we forget how wonderful knees are when we get used to the pain and not moving around. You have so much life to look forward to!
 
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