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TKR From Difficult Moment to Some Positive Moments

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Hello everyone,
I am writing to get (another) sanity check. My mom just told me that my brother told her that he was concerned I was developing an addiction to my pain meds, since when he saw me last time I was very uncomfortable - that was the night my family decided to come visit - after two months, and we all went out to eat, there was an hour wait and my brother snapped at me when I said I couldn't wait an hour and we got into an argument.
I was flabbergasted that my own family, who has not been there for me during the peak of my recovery, finally sees me and talks behind my back that I might be over using my pain meds and getting an addiction. If they were around me they would know I have only been taking one at night as needed, as by the end of the day and returning to work I am pretty darn sore. I hung up the phone thinking....did I just have a family intervention with my family who has not been there for me, and this is what they come up with? I hung up feeling like wow, do they think I am doing that bad, when I have actually been so proud of myself all around, and thought they would be compassionate if I was in pain/uncomfortable one day....
At 3.5 months, am I in an ok place? Family.....:hairpulling:
 
Karen, you keep right on being proud of yourself. You have done very well, and have done it without the help of family. Yes, you ARE in an okay place; and you are definitely NOT addicted. It is your brother who is somewhere out in left field. If he is not around to see what you are actually doing, how can he say something like this because of one family get-together where the two of you argued because he didn't understand what was going on with you? And he should have confronted you if he really believed that and not talked behind your back.

It's always so sad and so frustrating when family hurts you and lets you down, even if it may be unintentional. Please try to remember you are who and what you are and not who and what other people think. You take care of yourself and keep on keeping on. Keep us posted. We care.
 
Thank you so much for that response. It is crazy how many facets there are to recovery, both physically and emotionally. I confronted my brother on it. I told him exactly what you said, that I wish he spoke to me directly, and how could he speculate when he has not been there. His wife is an alcoholic, and it seems like he is projecting a lot of issues around. It both hurts me and also makes me feel stronger that I am getting through this on my own. Some days I feel bitter about it, but most days I need to just dismiss negative thoughts and feelings and stay focused on moving forward.
 
I'm happy that I could be of some help,Karen. TKR recovery is such an intense thing and then life just keeps going on when you need it to stop and let you off for a while. Keep thinking positive thoughts, keep your chin up, and come anad vent anytime you need to. We're here for you. We care.
 
taking one pain med at night when needed at this point is hardly being addicted.:sigh: I'm not surprised you are sore at night after working all day at this point. You will gradually find you need the pills less and less frequently. That's a normal progression.
 
Thanks for the validation. I told my family I think the whole concern about me being hooked on pain pills is bizarre. I am very sore after a full day of being back to my old life.....
 
You can also ice and elevate at the end of the day too. I know I did that some days when I first went back to work.

I think we hear so much in the media about the horror stories of teens getting ahold of meds & ODing or the cases of real addicts that people don't get the difference between that and the need for them in the weeks or even a few months post surgery.
 
Ha. Now I am finding that my quad muscle has woken up, and it is very sore too. I rejoined my gym, they let me do 30 days for $30 which is good because why pay top dollar for the classes I USED to do....
I am trying to keep up with the PT home exercise plan, and that on top of work, and my 14 year old's busy schedule, I am pooped. I also decided to hold off on dating until I am comfortable doing a flight of stairs. Wonder how long that will be......
 
Onestepatatime said:
Ha. Now I am finding that my quad muscle has woken up, and it is very sore too. I rejoined my gym, they let me do 30 days for $30 which is good because why pay top dollar for the classes I USED to do....
I am trying to keep up with the PT home exercise plan, and that on top of work, and my 14 year old's busy schedule, I am pooped. I also decided to hold off on dating until I am comfortable doing a flight of stairs. Wonder how long that will be......
Click to expand...

That is great that you quad muscle has woken up. I find it is a necessary muscle to have! :heehee:

And 30 days for $30 dollars is a bargain these days. Of course, when I have signed up in the past for such a price, I usually do 1 day and then putter out. I think they depend on folks like me signing up.
 
Karen, I'm just catching up with your thread and was sad to hear about your family situation. Amazingly that happens so much of the time. It's so tough for people to understand what a joint replacement is really all about. I'm so proud of you for taking Judy's wonderful advice and putting it right back in your family's lap. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of and EVERYTHING to be proud of!! You're making your way back to a normal, active life on your own. Most people don't really begin to feel like themselves again until around the 6-month mark and here you are back at work and dealing with your teen!

One thing I can recommend if you find yourself tired a lot and that is to stop or cut way back on any exercise program for a while. You are still healing and the activity of your daily life is usually more than enough to keep things loosened up. You could still do some stretches, but otherwise right now you really don't need much of a formal exercise program. Save that for the 6-month point and beyond.
 
At what point in recovery is it possible / comfortable to go out for a car journey if it is not you that is driving? I get the most awful cabin fever and wouldn't want to think it would be too long.
We have a 30 minute drive from the hospital after the op, but maybe we won't count that.:)
 
There is no set point where you can go for a car ride. I'd say start with some small distances and see how you do. It's more about your comfort than anything else. Be sure to plan for resting and icing when you return home.
 
Thank you Jamie.
I am intending to buy an icing cuff and some "instant" ice packs as used by sportsmen and women so I am all prepared. I know I will have to try and get out as much as possible for the sake of my sanity!
I have got a nice big cache of books for the days I can't get out though!
 
:thumb: Sounds like a plan!!!
 
Judy, this statement of yours is priceless, " TKR recovery is such an intense thing and then life just keeps going on when you need it to stop and let you off for a while.

My recovery was very long and very intense. Not much went along as it should have. There were so many times when I wanted to stop the world so I could get off for a rest!! Just yesterday I overheard my husband telling a friend about my TKR. He said," yea it was really tough, long, and horrible!!!" Yes it was and he did not have the surgery, I did!! He was hard on me and helpful, but he did not "get" what I was going through till maybe now, a year later.!!:tada: So Karen, it will take time for you to heal, and time for the family to "get it."
 
Hi Dave, I was taught ankle pumps...are calf pumps the same? And would you describe quad sets which I hope I'm doing correctly. I imagine doing 1,000 means to do them any and every time throughout the day or sleepless night?
 
I struggled through the same things that all of you went through in early recovery. I had bilateral TKR 1 year + out. I was 49+ and these days, OA is affecting much younger people. After TKR, I had to learn everything the hard way. The only thing my doctor tells me is how long I would be able to walk, climb, squat and travel overseas. It all sounds good but in reality there are a lot of obstacles to overcome. So I started to document a detailed account of my TKR experience in my blog in the hope that others battling the same problem can benefit from it. Having knee pain for so many years also resulted in my addiction to sleeping pills and so I have also written about my addiction experience. I have also written other related articles such as OA, bow legs, stiffness etc. Check out my blog to read more - broken link removed: https://www.totalkneereplacement-elsie.blogspot.com

...Elsie
 
ladyj said:
Thank you Jamie.
I am intending to buy an icing cuff and some "instant" ice packs as used by sportsmen and women so I am all prepared. I know I will have to try and get out as much as possible for the sake of my sanity!
I have got a nice big cache of books for the days I can't get out though!
Click to expand...

I had loads of books and every time I started to read I either couldn't concentrate or fell asleep!
I did manage to get outside and walk almost everyday...even if only for 15mins to begin with! Good luck!
 
The only thing I read over the three months I was home was the 50 Shades Of Grey trilogy. It is a fun read for all you women recovering!
So yeah, I am kinda giving up on my family for the support I need, I guess this goes back to the old saying....you can't pick your family. I have been putting three long days a week at the office and cramming life into the other two, so not much rest. I do ice each night though. No energy to do much else. My knee still swells and feels very sore. But I am learning to adjust......I have been going to the gym and doing my PT exercises since I exhausted all my benefits. I enjoy going there and getting out. Makes me feel more "normal".
 
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