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Battling with the Decision

Re pups- you will have to have help putting their bowls down or a really good grabber. Plus have their food counter height. Walking them will be a no go for first 10-14 days. I've had a 'easy' recovery, but couldn't/wouldn't be able to feed/walk dogs till today (15 days)and that's only short and prayers for no squirrels!

Just prepare..
 
Thank you.
I go for the third consultation in a couple of weeks.

I will probably have to hire someone to come in for a couple of weeks to feed, water and change wee wee pads.

I guess anything is doable. I have to still accumulate time at work to take off....time and money that is. 8 to 12 weeks is a long time to be out for. I guess no vacations for a while, which I can't enjoy much from not being able to walk much, anyway.


Thank you all for your advise and support.
 
Don't sound so down, dear Mersada.
It truly will give you your life back.
You are too young to feel to old.
We will virtually hold your hand and wish you all the best.

Let us know about a date.
Bye bye hip pain:egypdance::egypdance::egypdance:
 
Mersada said:
I find myself battling with the decision to operate or wait. My 2nd consultation with a doctor that only did posterior approach told me my hip is now bone on bone. It is uncomfortable when I walk but, not that painful for 5 minute walks. It's when I walk a lot that it hurts at a level of about a 7ish on a scale of 1 to 10.

I already have to wait a few months to accumulate vacation time from work because medical leave is unpaid and I really can't afford that. That or save enough money (which I'm not good at) to sustain me for a couple of months.

I go for the third consultation in the end of August with a doctor that does anterior approach. I want the anterior approach because I don't want the bending restrictions, I have to feed two small dogs and pick up their wee wee pads. I worry about things like falling, I'm a clumsy as it is. Just having all these negative thoughts and it's scary.

I just ordered my recliner because I like sleeping in the living room with the tv on and I have a futon in the living room which is probably too low for post opp. I get the recliner delivered Saturday, my way of preparing my brain for what inevitably has to take place (surgery). Also, preparing the home a bit for post op...if it ever happens.

Has anyone else gone back and forth on deciding what to do?? I say to myself if it was painful enough I would just do it, but as long as I avoid long walks I'm ok. I also cancelled a cruise in October because walking the length of the ship was not fun...but, again pain was like a 7 or 8.

Bottom line I'm scared. Also, I really can't ask anyone to stay with me, so I will doing mostly everything on my own, another scary thing. How stable is one walking shortly after the surgery.

Sorry, I went on sort of a tangent....it helps to get it out of my head.
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I waiver every day, and have the same questions you do. I have got my pain down to ground zero, which to me means as low as it will go, and it is minimal and tolerable. I feel it walking about .25 miles, went .5 miles today, rode bike 2.5 miles and was ok. Don't get me wrong, I know it is there, but right now in my journey I am not jumping at the idea of surgery. I guess i am in the acceptance phase. I was/am moderate according to the OS about 35 days ago. I am going back to get Xrays to see how I look now as I am curious if it is progressing. but like you i also waiver knowing it is or maybe inevitable. Good luck, keep us informed, we are on the same path.
 
My condition is bone on bone...hip dysplasia since childhood. I am surprised it actually doesn't hurt more than it does.

I also worry about it being worse afterwards...but, I suppose everyone has those fears.
 
I don't know if it's possible for you but a disability insurance policy sure makes it easier to take the time off to heal.
 
Eman85 said:
I don't know if it's possible for you but a disability insurance policy sure makes it easier to take the time off to heal.
Click to expand...

Will they cover me with if I purchase now, for like surgery next year. What is it like AFLAC?
I will look into it.

Just looked into it a little...looks like I might be out of luck...they don't really cover pre existing conditions. NYS disability pays about 170 a week...what can you do with that. I guess I have to continue saving, which I'm doing.
 
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Hi @Mersada
Glad to hear you're saving for the time off you'll need.
It's wise....you never know when you may be begging for relief. Especially being bone on bone.
Best to be prepared.

Have any idea when you may schedule surgery? I'd at least try to find out the average wait time
the surgeon you finally decide on is booking out. It could be weeks to a couple months. Mine was two months.
Good luck at your third consultation. Let us know how it goes.
 
My insurance was through my employer, Aflac is something similar. Most states offer nothing, I forgot about NYS disability I was on that 45 years ago for one of my early ortho surgeries.
 
Layla said:
Hi @Mersada
Glad to hear you're saving for the time off you'll need.
It's wise....you never know when you may be begging for relief. Especially being bone on bone.
Best to be prepared.

Have any idea when you may schedule surgery? I'd at least try to find out the average wait time
the surgeon you finally decide on is booking out. It could be weeks to a couple months. Mine was two months.
Good luck at your third consultation. Let us know how it goes.
Click to expand...


I only have 2 weeks of vacay time saved up so far.

I have no idea when I will schedule surgery...I guess I will discuss with the doc. I would imagine several months ahead. My third consult is 8/25 Saturday...the doctor just changed the date on me...so it will be in a couple of weeks. Will let you know how it goes. I printed some questions from this site on what to ask.
 
I wish you luck at your next consultation on the 25th.
Thankfully you're not in a lot of pain. Surprising though with bone on bone.
High pain threshold, maybe?
Wishing you comfort as you make decisions and move forward!
@Mersada
 
I vacillated too. Until the day at dog agility class when another dog attacked my dog. Due to the pain in my hip it took me long seconds to hobble over to her to get the other dog off of her. When going to her aide I knew for certain that I would not be able to protect her in the future as this condition does not get better. I called the very next day and confirmed my surgery appointment which I had put off doing.

For me it took having that one specific moment to be absolutely sure. When I had interviewed the 3 surgeons at my local hospital before that, I was still hoping I would not need to get it done. But they all made it clear that I needed to do it. In fact, I was told that I could have my surgery done the very next week with the hotshot young, gungho surgeon who had had a cancellation. But when he told me I was in such good shape that I would not need to go to any preop classes or PT after the op, I wisely interviewed two more docs. I picked the one who had done only dozens of anterior ones (the recommended is to get someone who has done at least 50) but hundreds of posterior. He was a retired military surgeon. Not the gorgeous athlete like the first, but the tried and true realistic one. He assured me that if once he got in there if I needed a posterior he was more than capable of changing to that approach. So I chose the surgeon who could not book me for almost two months.

During that two months I got progessively worse leading up to that last day at agility class. When I realized I would have to quite a sport I loved if I didnt' have it done.

My dog had said that I would be barely able to walk by the time of the surgery. Boy was he right! By the week before I was literally crawling out of bed and pulling myself up using the dresser. And I used a walker. And pain meds and heat and ice were my best friends. Even so, on the way over at 5AM to the surgery, my husband asked me "Are you sure? We can turn around". But I said I had no doubts at all. I had thought it through and was willing to die on the table (unlikely but possible outcome and we had discussed this as a couple). I'd read all the stats, articles on what could go wrong, Bone Smart and I'd watched videos.

I was ready. You are not quite ready yet. But you may want to book your surgery because there might be a drastic change between now and then. You can always cancel. I know folks who had their surgeries before they were in constant pain which worked for them. For me, it took being so miserable and knowing that I didn't want to live the rest of my life as a cripple if I had a chance not to. I was more than willing to do the surgery. And I never regretted it. I had a longer rehab than some. But I took the time to heal. I am back to sports with my dogs. I am glad I didn't book it until I was really ready. You will know when you are. And yep, if you are like me, you will still be scared- but also a bit excited - and determined. Good luck!
 
In my earlier post I talked about making the decision. Then I went back and re-read your post so I'll address two other things. Having someone to assist me was really, really helpful . If you will be doing it alone (and even if not) I'd suggest doing as much PT as possible pre-op so you can be as well muscled as possible. Practice practice practice as if you had had your op. Use your walker, port-a-potty, reacher, etc. I would strongly suggest getting help at least the first two weeks. See if your insurance will cover any of the in-home post op care. And also see if the hospital has a care team that comes to the house. Pre-make meals, etc and have a comfortable port-a-potty. As for the dogs - teach them to 1) "pick that up for me" and 2) "move!" that one being the most important so you don't trip on them and get them used to the walker and/or wheelchair 3) if they are allowed on your bed have a bolster that you can put between your leg and the dog and teach doggie(s) to not crawl over it or boisterously jump on you. You are a lot younger than me so hopefully your recovery will go quicker than mine. But even so take the time to relax and heal!

Ah- just remembered. Buy a small refrigerator with a freezer compartment to go by your bed or chair. Fill it with bags of frozen peas or edamame (my choice). I could not tolerate the pain meds so the frozen veggies were my pain killers. If you will be alone very handy to have them right beside you. And get a Netflix subscription so you can watch all that shlocky stuff you can't justify watching the rest of your life. That alone makes the op all worth while! L0L! Good luck!
 
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Good info here. i am researching doctors myself. is there anything other than volume of surgeries you used to make decision on the "best" surgeon? what questions were being asked while interviewing them? thanks for any tips, i am in discovery mode, surgeon decision, etc. i do have my pain down/managed so right now it is not an immediate emergency, but i figure the day is coming. thank you.

also, i have netflix so i am good to go there. :)
 
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Of course, people waver ... Very few people decide on surgery immediately after diagnosis. There seems to be a period of shock, disbelief, denial, fantasy hope for PT ... closing our eyes ... and then there is fear ... I'm alive, and I eat three meals a day. Do I really need this big cutting surgery? What if it all goes wrong? Won't I regret it? I will have ruined my life ...

So yes, lots of wavering ... and then ... that pain continues ... and worsens ... and worsens with less and less movement ... and at some point your rational brain (which keeps reading on BS and on other sites) just tells the fear brain, "Dude, shut up! We can't keep going like this. Shut the heck up. We're going to have the surgery."

I remember exactly when i decided: it was January of this year ... and I was on Amazon for hours searching for shoes and orthotics that were super-cushioned for my hip and my knee (on the other side). Literally online I caught myself ... all this search for specially cushioned shoes and orthotics was a fantasy ... it was time to have my knee meniscus surgery ... and then later my hip surgery. For me, it was like a switch got flipped.

Meniscus surgery went well ... and then I started to look for a good hip surgeon ... lots of fear and anxiety until I settled on a particular surgeon who specialized in people who were very active and athletic and wanted to get back to being athletic ... That's me ... He does a robot and a posterior approach and his patients often reporter faster recoveries than patients getting the anterior approach ... So ... met this doctor ... loved him ... I don't know if this guy places restrictions afterwards for 6 weeks, but I was willing to go to him anyway. I just sensed he was that good.

Then ... I thought about staying close to home (the first surgeon was 90 minutes away) ... And I thought I'd interview with a couple of local guys who had good reputations. Went to meet one local guy ... after seeing and interview with him in an orthopedic journal ... and seeing him featured in a newspaper story on hip replacements.

Meeting him was like a great date or job interview ... in which we built off each other's words. This surgeon is very active himself--he runs and swims ... His approach is anterolateral ... and he places no restrictions either short term with bending ... or long term with athletics ... He got excited when I told him I wanted to get back to swing dancing.

I scheduled my surgery right then and there. I'm set for September 12th ... and right now, I don't have the anxiety I had months ago ... I'm trying to concentrate on identifying friends I want to visit and bring me food and accompany me on walks ... ice machines ... bracing myself for frustration during the early recovery ... Am I getting nervous? Sure ...

But no part of the brain says to delay the surgery. None ... I'm looking forward to being able to walk fast without pain ... walk slow and long without pain ... dance without pain (that's my hobby) ... and exercise and run without pain ... I want to live fully ... and this surgery is a great opportunity.
 
Going4fun said:
Of course, people waver ... Very few people decide on surgery immediately after diagnosis. There seems to be a period of shock, disbelief, denial, fantasy hope for PT ... closing our eyes ... and then there is fear ... I'm alive, and I eat three meals a day. Do I really need this big cutting surgery? What if it all goes wrong? Won't I regret it? I will have ruined my life ...

So yes, lots of wavering ... and then ... that pain continues ... and worsens ... and worsens with less and less movement ... and at some point your rational brain (which keeps reading on BS and on other sites) just tells the fear brain, "Dude, shut up! We can't keep going like this. Shut the heck up. We're going to have the surgery."

I remember exactly when i decided: it was January of this year ... and I was on Amazon for hours searching for shoes and orthotics that were super-cushioned for my hip and my knee (on the other side). Literally online I caught myself ... all this search for specially cushioned shoes and orthotics was a fantasy ... it was time to have my knee meniscus surgery ... and then later my hip surgery. For me, it was like a switch got flipped.

Meniscus surgery went well ... and then I started to look for a good hip surgeon ... lots of fear and anxiety until I settled on a particular surgeon who specialized in people who were very active and athletic and wanted to get back to being athletic ... That's me ... He does a robot and a posterior approach and his patients often reporter faster recoveries than patients getting the anterior approach ... So ... met this doctor ... loved him ... I don't know if this guy places restrictions afterwards for 6 weeks, but I was willing to go to him anyway. I just sensed he was that good.

Then ... I thought about staying close to home (the first surgeon was 90 minutes away) ... And I thought I'd interview with a couple of local guys who had good reputations. Went to meet one local guy ... after seeing and interview with him in an orthopedic journal ... and seeing him featured in a newspaper story on hip replacements.

Meeting him was like a great date or job interview ... in which we built off each other's words. This surgeon is very active himself--he runs and swims ... His approach is anterolateral ... and he places no restrictions either short term with bending ... or long term with athletics ... He got excited when I told him I wanted to get back to swing dancing.

I scheduled my surgery right then and there. I'm set for September 12th ... and right now, I don't have the anxiety I had months ago ... I'm trying to concentrate on identifying friends I want to visit and bring me food and accompany me on walks ... ice machines ... bracing myself for frustration during the early recovery ... Am I getting nervous? Sure ...

But no part of the brain says to delay the surgery. None ... I'm looking forward to being able to walk fast without pain ... walk slow and long without pain ... dance without pain (that's my hobby) ... and exercise and run without pain ... I want to live fully ... and this surgery is a great opportunity.
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you hit the nail on the head with that post. question for you. when you go interview these surgeons, what are you asking them? are you letting them know your "shopping" per se? is each of them taking xrays of you and telling you their opinion? sorry for all the questions as i have not ever had to do this before... have had good health until a failing hip so this is all new for me. thanks again.
 
So you don't need to tell surgeons you're shopping. The good surgeons assume that ... and getting second or third or fourth or fifth opinions is totally legit in medicine ... Surgeons don't know if this is your first visit or consult ... or your tenth ... and they don't really care ... Yes, each surgeon took their own X-Rays ... The office will cover that when you call the office, and no I have never had an office ask, "Is this a second opinion?"

I did a lot of internet reading about surgeons ... I read a lot of patient reviews about their experiences with various surgeons. I searched through the local magazine's annual list of "top doctors"--comes out annually. I'm sure there's a magazine like that near you--you know the one that has "Best Trips for the Fall" ... "Best Restaurants" ... they also lists of top doctors sand dentists. Castle Connolly has a designation for top surgeons ... One thing I got from this board and from online reviews by patients (you can google that) is that finding the right surgeon (someone you're comfortable with) is often what allows the rational brain to shut up the fear brain and move forward. You want the feeling of this person is really sharp and skilled and will take good care of me.

Ask exactly what you want to ask ... and you don't need to hide your fear ... Half of being a good surgical is being able to calm people's fears ... often by being confident and really clear and detailed in how they explain their thinking and explain your condition.

You're bone and bone and having trouble walking regularly, they will all pretty much say hip replacement is the only option (which is true) ... So the issue become--and yes, this comes up in the meeting--where are YOU in thinking about surgery? None of the surgeons I consulted with (I actually met with others years ago when I got my first diagnosis) ... none of them pushed hard for the surgery ... They seem to want their patients to be ready for the surgery.

The main questions to my mind ... how many hip replacement surgeries have they done? What is their current approach: anterior, posterior, anterolateral? And the key question: how many surgeries have they done using their current approach? My personal view is I wanted masters (trying to shut up my fear brain) ... so I wanted people who had done thousands of surgeries.

Most of the top surgeons specialize in hip and knee joints and they do about 300 of each a year ... My guy does 340 hip replacements a year exactly, he told me. If you want anterior (which surgeons openly admit is a tricky surgery to master) ask them how many anterior surgeries they've done ... 100 is rock-bottom minimum, 500 is better. Again, me, I'd want over 1,000. BTW: asking this question shows you're informed. They're not insulted. Surgeons know this info off the top of their heads like you know how many years you've worked in your job and how long you've worked with your current supervisor.

The two surgeons I really liked have done about 3,000 hip surgeries each using their current approach. You can ask about recovery timelines ... how long til you can resume a lot of activities. Ask about pain levels, whatever you want! Tell them that you live alone! Totally valid concern.

Bottom line: they know patients are terrified ... they're OK with that ... no need to even hide your fear ... The right surgeon will have answers that reassure you. Sometimes people figure out yes, I want this guy to do my surgery. But I'm not ready now. But they call the surgeon when they are ready.
 
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miscverb said:
Good info here. i am researching doctors myself. is there anything other than volume of surgeries you used to make decision on the "best" surgeon? what questions were being asked while interviewing them? thanks for any tips, i am in discovery mode, surgeon decision, etc. i do have my pain down/managed so right now it is not an immediate emergency, but i figure the day is coming. thank you.

also, i have netflix so i am good to go there. :)
Click to expand...

I tried to copy and past the questions I found on this site, but I couldn't do it. There is a list of questions they provide you with here on this site. I will ask some of them, but I feel funny asking all of them, there is a lot.
https://bonesmart.org/hip/choosing-a-hip-replacement-surgeon/
 
@Mersada: I found that I didn’t have to even ask most of those questions. As part of the initial consult my OS openly discussed those topics without me having to ask. It was more of a discussion with a lot of info to take in at once and some things I didn’t even think of to ask, like what kind of implant. I left feeling all my questions were answered and I had no remaining doubts left.
 
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