TKR Avoiding Despair

[pbro51]

Hi Ursula I had my LTKR on the 1st July and i to felt the same about it as you do. I also said there is not enough information about what this operation does to you. I hate my independance been took away from me. I feal like my life was at an end and have cried and made myself physically sick. I feel like my family and friends dont really understand how bad this has been for me. I went to the doctors and he said i was having panic attacks and give me anti depressants. I haven't took any because i dont want to go down that road. I take Nefrapam and they do help with the pain. What makes it worse is that everyone says when your finished you will have a better life, even though it dosent feel that way now. Even my sons girlfriends granda who is in his 70s has had is second knee done on monday and he dosent complain like i do. Your not alone in this and maybe between the two of us, giving each other support we will get through this. This sight has helped because it gives you a insight to what other people are going through and that all the differant kind of feelings and pain that are happening are normal for what we have been through. Please if you need to talk im here. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Tennis Nut]

pbro51

If I were you, I would take the anti depressant meds your doctor prescribed. They don't hurt you and aren't addictive. Many, such as cymbalta, have nice side effects such as lessening musculoskeletal pain. You're at about 6 weeks I think and you're not recovered yet. Everyone is different and it takes time to heal. It's a brutal surgery and I was fully prepared for it by my doctor and his staff. They made it sound even worse than it was. I have heard from a PT that elderly patients handle pain better than then younger ones so perhaps that explains grandpa. Sorry it's so rough for you. It's nothing to be ashamed of to cry and get depressed. You just can't stay in that place so if meds help, take them. Get better!!!

 

[pbro51]

Thank you Tennis Nut for your reply I think mentally im feeling better. I know this is going to take a long time and im trying to be patient. Today has been a bad day for pain. It seems to hurt everywhere and is painful if i put any weight through the leg. Im elevating, icing, resting and taking my pain meds. Hopefully tomorrows a new day.

 

[Tennis Nut]

Sorry pbro51

It is tough on the body and emotions. It will get better. This too shall pass. I promise. But it sounds like a talk with you OS, or at least a call to his nurse, might be in order. I know aching does seem to spread. I used my doctors nurse as a resource several times. She was awesome in helping me to understand that cretin pains and issues were normal. As long as you know you're in the normal range, you can rest assured that you will get better. Hope tomorrow is much better.

 

[scaredinCA]

Ursula you are not alone in your feelings. I remember finding Bonesmart and being so excited because the posts were so positive. I remember making a post about how all the other forums had such negative threads and scared me away from wanting a tkr. I took my sweet time making up my mind whether to do it or not, but finally the pain was so bad I had to do something to help myself.

Two of my surgeries were canceled due to illness, so I had plenty of time to read Bonesmart and learn what I would need, plus I read a book about knee replacements. I have to admit that I went into it with terrible fear, but at least I knew what I would need at home, etc. I bought many things, such as raised toilet seat, comode, ice packs/bought & home made, new sheets, blanket, cane, even a butt buddy for wiping, an excercise bike/and one small one, etc etc etc. I was as ready as could be, OR SO I THOUGHT..

The hospital stay is a blur with very few memories except not being able to stand up at all. I was transported to a rehab where it dawned on me what shape I was in. AND I WAS MAD!!!! I had so much pain that at times I thought I couldn't take anymore. I couldn't take the opiates for pain because they all made me sick and I couldn't eat anything. So I was given a small amount of morphine and that was it. I wan't able to eat for the first week and I was growing too weak to do much physical therapy. Its too long to tell the whole story, but believe me, I was one angry gal because I felt that I had been misled about how bad it would be. My knee classes never said how bad it is.

I stayed mad for quite awhile too. I remember a social worker talking to me and asked if I could at least see a small light at the end of the tunnel and I told her NO.

What I slowly learned over time is how much moral support a person needs for this type of surgery and recovery. And I was very blessed to have that support in the rehab, and my daughter was a saint. I don't believe I could have made it without her and their kindnesses. All of them constantly told me how well I was doing (i didn't believe I was) and how it was getting better. I leaned on them for dear life.....

The problem seems to be this, if people were told the honest truth, then they wouldn't have this surgery. But if everyone tells them mostly positive things, then they aren't prepared for the road ahead. I believed I was as prepared as possible, but I wasn't. Maybe no one can really prepare us beforehand, maybe its impossible. Maybe each person has to find their own way in the dark.

I'm happy to say that I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I feel very blessed to have had the help I got, and to have Bonesmart for emotional support and information. I'm not looking forward to outpatient therapy because I'm afraid it will be aggressive and set me back in recovery, but I have to at least try it and see what happens next. One day at a time.

Hang in there Ursula, it will get better somehow, sometime.

 

[kneeper]

I think so much of the pain control in the hospital depends on the staffing/approach there. I had a miserable first night when the femoral block didn't work and then then the next day pretty darn drugged up. After that things started getting on an even keel. Thank goodness I could take the pain meds.
But you're right, even when you have an OS like mine who is very honest about the length of recovery, you don't really understand until you're in the middle of it.

Good moral support and thinking of progress in bigger time spans than day by day helped me.

 

[ljm]

You sound like me a year ago. When I hit 8 weeks and was not well, I was so depressed. I had the same thing with not sleeping and depression, in pain all the time because nothing I took worked for me. I too, found BoneSmart too late. But better late than never. I would say that I really turned a corner at about the 4 month point. I actually started feeling somewhat better after my outpatient PT ended and I started to take it easier and do my own thing. I just spent 2 days in New York City this week and walked all over the place. I had no pain, but some stiffness the next 2 days, but I am really out of shape.
I really think the doctors don't tell people what it's really like because they have not experienced what it feels like firsthand. Same with the physical therapists. Doesn't hurt them a bit!

 

[Ursula Tibbs]

I haven't posted anything for a while as I have been quite busy (a good sign!). Today it is three months since my operation and I am becoming more patient and less frustrated. I can see that my knee is getting better and although speed is "slow to stationary" I can actually walk some distance - even walked back from town today. Progress is slow but there is progress. Still not on my beloved bike but I am able to use my exercise bike effectively and so it can only be a matter of time before I am off along the seafront again. I think I can safely say that the support of all you Bonesmarties really has helped me to avoid despair - and I cannot express how grateful I am for that. D.
P.S. New dog moved in down our street, a rescued Great Dane who is gorgeous but still a little bit sad. Hope the pets thread is working out well.

 

[Tennis Nut]

That's good news Ursula. Glad you're making progress.

 

[Ursula Tibbs]

Forgot to mention (how could I?) that I CAN SLEEP!!! Not the whole night through, you understand, but two to three hours at a time and I no longer have to get up and walk around every half an hour. In fact, when I do wake up I can now usually change position without too much pain and get back to sleep which has made such a difference. In fact I am now getting a good rest every night. I am still more tired than usual, but no longer am I exhausted and desperate. If someone had told me a few weeks ago that I would be able to sleep like this I would not have believed them - but it's true. So for all those who are struggling with sleep - don't despair it gets better! D.

 

[Ursula Tibbs]

Thanks Tennis Nut - I hope all goes well for you too. D.

 

[Tennis Nut]

Ursula, just noticed that we are the same age. I will be 62 in sept. planning to go start hitting some tennis balls in two more weeks. 12 weeks for me now too. Ordered a new bike today with carbon frame. It's my reward for getting a new knee. My trophy I guess. It gets here in about 10 days so I will happily dump my old one and head out. Can't wait. Biking is easier on that knee than walking is to me. I get some little stabs of pain here and there when I walk a lot and walk the dogs. Have two golden retrievers. I'm going to try swimming some laps this week too and see how that goes. I've been paddling around a bit in the ocean but its not the same as kicking up and down lanes. Can't wait to get back to that too. Life is gonna be great with this new knee.

 

[referee54]

Forgot to mention (how could I?) that I CAN SLEEP!!! Not the whole night through, you understand, but two to three hours at a time and I no longer have to get up and walk around every half an hour. In fact, when I do wake up I can now usually change position without too much pain and get back to sleep which has made such a difference.

That is a tremendous mile stone! Awesome! These victories signal a return (albeit somewhat slowly) to normalcy!

f someone had told me a few weeks ago that I would be able to sleep like this I would not have believed them - but it's true. So for all those who are struggling with sleep - don't despair it gets better! D.

Excellent---your advice will help those who are now in the situations that you have gone through---they need to hear that there is hope---and you have given it to them!

 

[referee54]

Ordered a new bike today with carbon frame. It's my reward for getting a new knee. My trophy I guess.

You do indeed need a trophy---you are emerging victorious!

When you get your new bike, why don't you post a picture of it in the Social Room---there is a thread there for pictures of our bikes! I would love to see it!

 

[kneeper]

happy !

 

[Tennis Nut]

referee54

Will do. It's white and very "pretty". Maybe i will add in a new helmet too. Mines a little dull. Still having some aches and pains but better everyday. It's been 12 weeks so doing more all the time is probably what makes me ache. I'm sure I will ache a lot more when I go back to tennis. Hope all the elliptical, recumbent and regular biking helps prepare me.