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TKR Acceptance and Understanding<

Ha ha! Me too about the wedding! I’m kind of at a loss on what to binge on now too! Heard Ozark was good...?
 
I know the job situation is stressful. I went through this last Dec., however I knew that there was a fairly good chance that I may qualify for long term disability through my employer, and I did.
I knew I couldn't do the job even partially. And I didn't know if and when things would return to the point where I could.
Another plus is my age of 63, so close to retirement anyway. Also, my husband is retired now and we tried to save more the past several years for retirement, so if I had to quit early, we could still make it OK.
Here I am 7 weeks past my third surgery, and I think that the way I heal, slowness and all issues, who knows if I would have ever been able to return to work anyway.
I am not an advocate of pushing disability, for me or anyone, but it is there for special cases. We don't know how we will end up, and who knows what kind of employment we could even do in these circumstances.
I have decided to just be done with work, and our financial guy said everything should be fine. But the long-term disability I admit, really helped us because I don't have to take money out of my retirement savings right now.
Depending on my health, I could get this long-term disability until December 2019. In that month I will be 65 anyway.
I know not all people in my situation have these added benefits. But if we didn't, we would seek out whatever we could to help us. Sometimes people have to change their lifestyle or be more frugal with money when their income decreases.
Try not to worry about your work right now, and concentrate on taking care of yourself so you have the best chance of healing well. If things get hairy, you may have to switch gears. But for now, just thank the Lord that you have this extra time and income. And continue to pray for healing and provision from Him. :thankyou:
 
Unfortunately I am not eligible for long term disability through work. I’m going to take it one day at a time, and try not to forecast my future, even though it’s hard not to. I can’t control it. It is what it is I suppose. This too shall pass. I have no choice but to figure it out when the time comes. Yes, thank God for my blessings, no matter what has been given me.
 
Hi @Needhope. I hope you enjoyed the wedding ! I was at work today when it was on but our Team Manager decided we could watch it at our desks. It was wonderful wasn't it ? Such a happy occasion and they look to be so much in love. I really felt for her Mum, she seemed a bit overwhelmed and lonely but i'm sure she was bursting with pride really. What must it feel like to have your daughter become a real life princess ? Things like this create a very happy atmosphere, i know lots of people don't care but i hope it cheered you up, it certainly did for us.
 
@hopalong61 There are no words that could capture how I felt while watching such a beautiful, modern, non-stuffy wedding between two people who have sooo much Love for each other. There truly are real-life “Fairy Tales”, this wedding was a once in a lifetime dream come true. I wanted to reach through the tv and hug Meghan’s Mom. I wished she had someone sitting next to her she could have shared this beautiful moment with. I could tell how proud She was, she raised a strong independent daughter. It was a beautiful unforgettable wedding. And.... I didn’t think of my knees once! I was sooo fixated that I almost felt like I was there!
 
Wow, @Needhope , you've been through the wringer, and many times. Others have already said what I would have said had I read everything as it was posted. But, having just finished your thread, I do have a few comments.

Pain meds-I have a major problem with reactions to pain meds so my OS has been jumping through hoops to figure out how to keep me out of pain without killing me with narcotic pain relief. But, whenever my pain has gotten unbearable, I get myself to the ER post-haste. The ER is equipped for that and will take care of you. They are also able to prescribe adequate pain relief upon discharge from the ER.

The anger I have for a doctor who decides you don't need, and can't have, adequate pain relief is beyond words. Believe me, if I had a doctor like that, after giving him a severe tongue lashing, I'd be haunting the ER, or my PCP's office, etc. I wouldn't allow anyone to treat me like my pain doesn't matter, or like it's my problem and I need to get over it, etc. Believe me when I tell you how much I hate pain meds, but if I need them I will take them. When I had my TKR I needed narcotic pain relief on a regular schedule for around 6 weeks if I recall correctly. Even with all the problems I had, and all the ER visits, and doctor visits, I had a lot of pain for a very long time, so needed meds for a very long time. But the very minute I no longer had pain I no longer took a single pain pill. I don't remember every detail, but did whine a lot in my thread as I recall.

As for your worry about negativity, crying, whining or whatever, my thread is filled to the brim with all of that. That's why this site is here and why it's such a blessing. We can come here with all our news, good and bad, and get support. Everyone here has been through this, which is very different from those around us who haven't been there, done that. Even the surgeons can't really understand as their job is to fix the knee, not get us through the recovery. Just as a male obstetrician can't really understand pregnancy and childbirth, but is able to deliver our babies, an OS doesn't really get the whole recovery process. He may have learned about it, but living it and seeing it are very different animals. So, come here to vent, cry, holler and yell on your bad days, and share your blessings on your good days. Over time your bad days will be fewer and your good days will take center stage, and others who need support will see that it truly does get better.

As for worrying and fretting about not doing enough, you need to give your knee what it needs in order to eventually give you back your life. I was not allowed to even use a cane until my six week check-up; until then I was to use my walker. I do vaguely recall trying to get my doctor to okay a cane earlier as I was able to walk around my house with it and it was easier to manage than a walker. I do know my current OS will likely keep me on a walker for six weeks as he wants to make sure I don't fall or overuse my knee before it's ready. I think you transitioned too early; six weeks may be too long for some, but your transitions are too fast IMHO. There's no shame in allowing your knee time to recover; if your house is messy, the police won't show up at your door and condemn your house.....

As for your daughters, you carried them around for 9 months 24/7 and have carried them ever since. If they complain about being too busy/stressed/new baby/school etc. they are using lame excuses to avoid helping, and should be ashamed of themselves. The daughter with the new baby is perfectly capable of putting said baby in a car seat and driving to help you at least one day a week. It's a win/win. You get to hold and love on the new baby while your daughter serves you as you have served her from day one. The daughter who is there in the same house will survive temporarily sacrificing her time and energy to cheerfully help you in your time of need, just as you helped her all her days. I have zero patience with self-centered children who are "too busy" for their mothers. This recovery will take at least three months just to begin feeling like a human again, and will take approx a full year before you are doing well. Three months of serving their mother doesn't begin to equal the years and years of daily sacrifice mothers give to their children without question. It's time for your daughters to grow up and think about you now.

I also think you may be a little slower in recovery due to inadequate pain relief, too much PT, exercise and housework. You have what, a month or so of leave left? Use that time to give your knee(s) as much TLC as possible. Get your daughters to help, and do no more than is absolutely necessary. Rest that knee; elevate and ice it as long as possible during the day, and non-stop at night.

I hope you can figure out your work situation; I have no advice nor comment there as I have no experience with that. But I hope you are able to get it all handled, and am glad you are able to take more time to recover. Good luck and keep us posted. Kim
 
@lovetocookandsew ER? Nope. I cannot afford another bill although if I didn’t take pride in my ability to pay them on time, I would have gone weeks ago for pain relief.

I’m a very restless type personality, I cannot sit for too long, I wish I was able I think I wouldn’t feel so exhausted and painful in the knee. My girls are adults, very true, but I’m not one to ask for help. That’s not me. They know what I’m going through and I don’t think I should have to ask.

As to PT and the aftermath of that, they go hand in hand. I can’t expect to get my leg muscles stronger unless I do something to strengthen them. Last TKR, both leg muscles started to dwindle from lack of use. They weren’t in the greatest condition to begin with because my knees were not well, but I have never just sat around. I enjoyed walking my dog, going hiking, etc., until my dog passed away and I became kinda stagnant which harmed me physically.

This time around the TKR circuit, I’ve been more active because I do not want my legs to feel as weak as they did last year after first TKR. As far as work, I have no idea how I’m going to handle this but I will figure it out sooner or later. I too am glad I have more time to recover this newest TKR. We shall see as time progresses. Thank you Kim.
 
I think you misunderstood me, or maybe I didn't make it clear. I don't mean to sit around and never do anything. ADLs are part of the healing process and we need to move around. I think strong PT should be off the table and strenuous exercises should be also, for now. As time passes, you will naturally feel better, your knee will begin to heal and you will begin to do more and more of your usual activities. I know it's hard to keep us down when our natures are such that we want to be busy and active. Believe me I know that feeling all too well. But we need to accept our limitations, whatever they are, for however long we must, in order to have the very best long term result. (I even swallowed my pride and asked for wheelchair assists at the airports this trip-which I've never done before. My daughter says I'm too stubborn and I need to stop it and ask for help, use my cane, etc. And as much as I hate to admit it-she's right)

We need to allow our knees the time they require to heal after the assault that is a TKR. If we don't, we risk more pain and swelling, more recovery time, and in some cases a lesser result than if we had allowed ourselves, or forced ourselves, to recover before going back to our busy and productive lives.

As for asking for help, pride must be put on the back burner and we must ask for help. I know it's hard, but your daughters need to help you when you need it, and since they haven't offered, you need to ask. I also have a hard time asking for help as I'm a very, very, very, very (did I mention VERY?) strong willed person who likes to do things her way. But I've had to learn to ask others for help when I need it. People aren't mind readers and most are willing to help if asked. I've also learned most people won't offer to help, but will willingly help however they can when asked. I have a husband who will fall off a ladder doing stuff he shouldn't be doing anymore rather than ask his young and able children and son-in-laws to help. One of my daughters is even hurt when he won't ask her for help as she takes it to mean he doesn't trust her to help or doesn't care enough, etc. That's not the case but it is how it seems to her. It drives me nuts that he won't ask them for help!

I'm sorry you can't go to the ER as it has been a place of help for me when I need it. Good luck on the job front, quit being stubborn and ask for help if you need it!
 
@Needhope , you are your own worst enemy. Swallow that pride and ask for help.
You're causing a lot of your pain by insisting on doing too much.
We know that what we suggest will help you. Please stop finding excuses, and try some of our suggestions.
 
Your daughters are used to you always doing everything. They aren't mind-readers and they won't realise that you need help, unless you ask them. Stop thinking that you shouldn't have to ask.
Don't make excuses for them. They're young and they have far more energy than you do. They can, and should, help you.
 
At what point in your TKR recovery did you trust your knee? My RTKR was last September and I still don’t trust my strength when walking. I feel like when I take a step, my knee won’t hold me up. I don’t trust either of them. Could it be that it didn’t have a chance to fully recover before I had the LTKR?
 
It was a year before I trusted my TKR totally. Even with PT 3x a week it felt weak, so I think it was just an effect of the surgery. My OS warned me it would be a year before I felt 100% myself and he was right.

I had my TKR Oct. 29 and even though I had a second surgery I went back to work (teaching 1st grade) part time at 12 weeks, January 29. Even with work and PT I found swimming laps in June difficult. It took a month of slowly working up to my normal 15 laps because I was so tired.
 
Just catching up here @Needhope - you are being given a lot of really sound advice throughout the thread. Few of us had a "miraculous" 6 week recovery! Slow down and find a hobby - knitting, jigsaw puzzles (other than the one your knees have given you!), a great historical fiction book, or binge watch The Crown!

On the employment front, I understand you are concerned about a possible retaliatory firing once you return to work in late June. I am not familiar with employment law in Connecticut, but you might want to stop in at a Legal Aid office to ask them about your rights and how you can protect yourself. The only ground they can terminate you for is if you cannot do the job. They cannot pile on more work.

But the main thing is to rest and allow yourself to recover. You mentioned your job requires you to walk a lot on concrete floors. Take a look through the social room here - there is a long thread about shoe recommendations. We have all had to consider footwear adjustments. Because it took your knees years to wear down, your entire posture and stance gradually altered with that deterioration. Now, you have two brand new knees which will support you and get better. But you might want to consider a new shoe with greater arch and heel support. There are some with more padding or a rubber sole which will "give" a bit more when you walk. Think of those think rubber pads in front of kitchen sinks, but on your feet. Those may help reduce the strain on your knees and attitude!
 
I twisted my left knee while coming down stairs trying to change my bedsheets, slipped on a dragging part of comforter, my left kneecap popped out but went right back in. I’m not able to get to dr nobody here. I can walk on it, bend it, but it seems to be swelling sooo I’m icing right now. There aren’t any shooting pains or any other kind of pain in it. I guess it scared me more than damage being done. I hope. Any other suggestions Or anything I should be concerned about right now?
 
At this point in recovery, your knee is going to swell from even minor tweaks. Your prosthesis is really quite durable. Chances are no damage was done except perhaps to the surrounding soft tissues, which are now swelling. You know the routine: rest, ice, and elevate! It may take a few days for the swelling to go down, if the knee is very angry.

Most of us have managed to twist our new knee along the way. It happens and is part of, well, what happens to original knees also, so TKR implants are built to withstand/work with a normal amount of twisting.

If you’re concerned, or your pain increases, give your surgeon a call and see about going in to get an X-ray.
 
What are we going to do with you! :console2:

Relax today and let it rest and sort itself out.

Am I going to have to come over there? :bignono:
 
So sorry you twisted your knee. I'm thinking going downstairs carrying loose bedding is not a good idea yet. It's a little early to be changing the bed at this point, although not a major catastrophe if you really have to do it yourself, but stairs are difficult enough for a new knee; carrying stuff like that takes away the ability to use the handrail properly and navigate with a clear line of vision. I'm just glad you didn't completely fall.

Just an aside-I fell on New Year's day at our hotel. I bumped into a coffee table and actually flew completely over it into a sliding glass window head first, and landed with my bad knee bent underneath me. Other than the excruciating pain, I didn't harm the implant as far as we know. I guess these suckers are pretty tough! As long as you don't notice any new problems, other than the pain, which should lessen, you probably didn't do any harm; but if anything changes or worsens, speak to, or go to, the doctor just to make sure no damage was done.
 
All I wanted were clean sheets! Haha! I think the knee is ok other than a little more swollen than it was. My back does hurt a bit however. Geez.. I need to put myself in a bubble. Been icing all day once again. Tomorrow the same except I will be going to PT, they can give me a look over to check the damage if there is any and my OS is in same building so they will send me over to see him if needed. Thanks for responses everyone. Hugs!
 
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