TKR Acceptance and Understanding<

[Jockette]

Oh, sweet lady, please hang in there. You know it’s going to get better. This is not your first time. You felt like this in the beginning last time and it did get better.

We all feel/felt just like you do now. Read again about the post op blues. They are very real. I will get the link to that article.

 

[Jockette]

Here it is:
https://bonesmart.org/forum/threads/depression-post-op-blues.34456/

 

[Needhope]

@Jockette ... Thanks, I read the thread. I know how difficult this is since I’ve been through it before and honestly don’t think I’m healed from my right one yet. It’s double trouble. I’m tired. Seems like it’ll never end.

 

[Jockette]

I’m sure you still need healing time on your first knee. All the more reason to rest as much as you can so both knees will benefit. Maybe even ice them both, if the first knee is ok with that. My knee stopped liking ice around 6.5 months.

I know how difficult it is right now. I remember my early recover. I didn’t have a second one done like you did so I can only imagine your current struggle but I know your going through a very hard time. The energy drain is very real and that’s what’s going on now.

I’m so glad you posted today. Vent all you want, we understand and we care!

 

[Needhope]

Well, my daughter is burnt out from work/college/ me, so she’s leaving to take time out for herself today. I’m going to do laundry, vacuum, dishes, dust, sweep, take care of her dogs, and shower. I can’t expect her to continue to do it all. I know I’m creating a monster issue with my knee today, but it needs to be done, last week.

 

[Mutti3]

Suggestion, rest your knees! Forgo everything but a nice shower and talking care of the animals. Everything else can wait. Your daughter loves you, but needs her me time so she can appreciate you.

 

[Jockette]

I’m going to do laundry, vacuum, dishes, dust, sweep, take care of her dogs, and shower

Do not do these things. You will be very very sorry if you do all that.

Take your shower and do the absolute minimal with the dogs.

Forget the vacuuming and the dusting.

Tell your daughter to buy paper plates while she’s out.

Seriously. You will only wreak more havoc on yourself if you even attempt to do all this.

 

[Babushelen]

@Needhope, please be careful not to over do it! I know how you feel about being a burden to others. I too felt that way. I felt so bad about having to rely on others. I felt anxious about my house being in disarray. My husband took care of me but he isn’t a good housekeeper.

Everything you are feeling right now, we have or are experiencing. The struggle is real. But rest assured you are not alone. We are here to listen, commiserate with you, and hopefully giving you much needed hope (pun intended).

Please continue to share and don’t stop the tears. Venting and crying is good for the soul.

You are in my prayers!

 

[Mutti3]

@Babushelen
Same here , my husband took wonderful care of me, but the house not so much. I quickly learned a few dust bunny’s, smear up glass and windows can wait! My recovery is my time, it is our time as BoneSmarties to heal.

 

[cmgknee]

I can’t move my bed around so I’m going to have to figure out how to get in and out of it with more difficulty this time because it’s the left knee being replaced this time. It was fairly easy when I had my right done. I would back up to the mattress and lift my right leg up using my arms then placing it on bed, then put left leg up and shimmy myself to head pillows. I’m trying to explain with words how I did it, but it may not be coming out right. Without assistance, what’s the easiest way for me to get my left leg onto the bed? I know it’s a stupid question, but I can’t figure out how I’m gonna do this.

Try looping a strap or belt onto your left foot as you sit sideways on the bed. As you punch your behind further back, lean in your right hip, and hoist your left leg up with the strap and onto the bed.
Hard to explain but that’s how I did it

 

[kneeper]

Well, my daughter is burnt out from work/college/ me, so she’s leaving to take time out for herself today. I’m going to do laundry, vacuum, dishes, dust, sweep, take care of her dogs, and shower. I can’t expect her to continue to do it all. I know I’m creating a monster issue with my knee today, but it needs to be done, last week.

Well my heart bleeds for your daughter. Not. I can see where she'd want a day "off" but leaving the dogs with you at your stage of recovery seems a bit OTT.
As far as the tasks you list I'd stick to showering and then rest, ice, elevate. If you feel up to it maybe do the dishes.
As far as housework, I would do only one thing a day. And sometimes that one thing in installments.
I did not vacuum for quite a few weeks--it's hard on a healing knee.

The thing is, once you're healed you'll be back to doing all the household things you want (?) to do. But overdoing now just slows you down. It's more helpful to your daughter to let yourself recover. Inconvenient in the short term, but good result in the end.

 

[Needhope]

Shower... 10-15 min
Fold white load laundry that was sitting in dryer for days.... 10 min
All total from shower, dress, folding, maybe 30-40 min on feet.
Now I’m resting and will tackle something else in a while. I already feel more productive and human-like.

 

[mlwreader]

Now I’m resting and will tackle something else in a while. I already feel more productive and human-like.

@Needhope Glad you are working in stages. Remember though that often it takes a day for problems to set in when we overdo things. I have experienced this several times during my recovery, especially when I was preparing for my move at 5 1/2 months. I would move things or whatever you do when preparing to move, even though I knew my helpers would take care of it, and then I paid the price in a new ache or pain or stiffness that didn't show up until the middle of the night or the next day. I remember waking up in dreadful pain during the night, which was alleviated by changing position, or waking up with a horrible leg cramp, or getting up the next day with a new pain - especially in the left knee. I know how it feels though to have all that house stuff build up. I am one who is extremely uncomfortable when my house is unorganized and messy. Please just do enough to ease your mind over the disorder and then rest, ice and elevate the rest of the time. Sending a hug - a gentle one.

 

[kayow11]

Try not to feel too sorry for your daughter. I know this sounds blunt, but most kids are kind of spoiled and used to having mom do a lot for them. Please don't give into this mindset. She is an adult, she can take care of things too.
Only do what is absolutely necessary. Forget The cleaning, it can wait. I know what you mean about a messy house and dishes and such, I hate that stuff too and many times have done a lot of that work too.
But as the last post stated, you pay for it during the night or the next day and then the flare up lasts for a few days.
We are just trying to warn you ahead of time because we know what you want to do and we know what is a better option for you.

 

[skigirl]

Can you afford to have a cleaner come to your house? If so, by all means call a maid service and have them do the dusting and vacumming.

 

[Celle]

@Needhope
Your second TKR is still so new. It isn't ready yet for all that activity and you will set back your recovery if you do all those things.

By all means, let your daughter have a day off, but forget about doing anything that is not essential. Don't allow yourself (or her) to make you feel guilty for her having to help you. Just think of all the things you've done for her. Now it's time for her to step up and repay some of your loving care.

Leave the cleaning. It's not essential. Especially, don't vacuum. That is very tough for a new knee.

Dust bunnies are your friends. They show you have been resting properly.

And, while you're resting, take time to read this article:
Nurturing mother: how to let go and accept help

 

[Jamie]

I have a suggestion for your bed.....just turn the sleeping around. Put your pillow at the foot of your bed and crawl in as you did with the other knee. No one says you have to sleep facing out from the wall!!! It just might give you a new perspective! And I promise the Bed Police will not drop by and punish you for sleeping backwards in bed!

 

[Needhope]

Great ideas from both who replied about my bed issue. Thanks for them. I was able to back myself up to the mattress and lay backwards while holding up my leg and then gently shimmy myself on kinda like a worm. Lol! Oh the pickles we get ourselves into and out of because of necessity. Haha!

 

[Needhope]

@skigirl I wish. But that is not an option for me. I’ll do a little at a time I guess. That’s the best I can do to help contribute.

 

[Needhope]

The chore I intend to tackle today is the laundry. In between loads I will rest. Fortunately I don’t need to go up or down stairs for this to be done. My self worth depends on my contribution. That’s just how I am. And my daughter is home today, as far as I know she has no plans. Maybe I can talk her into vacuuming. She’s a good kid. Not really a kid, she’s 25 but in my eyes, still a kid. I’m proud of her efforts. One more semester and she’ll be a RN!! I’m not gonna get in her way of squashing her dreams. I try to make it easier on her because she works sooo hard. I’m a proud Mom. My other daughter would love to help me but she’s a new Mom.. I understand completely. My greatest achievements in life are my 2 beautiful, intelligent ladies.